Where Angels Tread (15 page)

But she knew, deep down inside, that something was missing. She hadn’t really realized what it was until the day when she first crossed paths with Shane. Now, she knew with every aching fiber of her soul what that something was: love.

She thought back to the grief-stricken, panicked look that filled her son’s eyes when he had asked, after watching her and Shane together, whether Shane was going to take his father’s place. Rather than making a snap decision to close off her heart to protect her son, she should have taken that opportunity to have an open, honest conversation with Zachary about their future. A future that could include Shane, if he’d still have her.

As he stuck his hand out of the window to let the breeze blow through his fingers, Shane sighed happily. Being back in the squad car was better than he had even imagined. From the passenger seat came the sound of Buddy’s whistling filling the car; Shane soon joined in on the familiar tune.

When they finished, Shane met Buddy’s eyes and they grinned at each other. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to be partners with you again, man,” Buddy said, clapping Shane on the shoulder. “I gotta say, you’re a changed man lately. Things going well with that lady friend of yours?” He winked mischievously.

“Nope,” Shane replied in a cheerful tone. “Things are going pretty terribly, actually.” He gave Buddy a quick rundown of his disastrous coffee date with Heidi.

When he finished, Buddy shook his head sympathetically. “Then why are you so happy?”

“Because, as you so aptly put it, I’m finally starting to get back to the land of the living. Putting the accident behind me, trying to move on with my life. Even if things with Heidi don’t work out, and right now it looks like they aren’t going to, at least I know that I was able to put myself out there again. It took a lot for me to do that.”

“Maribel’s got a cousin you might be interested in,” Buddy said, winking at Shane. “That is, if you like blond hair, red lips, and a body that’ll make you want to go running to confession.”

Shane shrugged, then glanced in his rearview mirror before changing lanes. His first patrol shift was coming to an end, and it was time to steer the car back to the station. “To tell you the truth, I’m not that interested. I prefer red hair, brown eyes, and a gorgeous smile.”

Buddy shook his head. “You’ve got it bad, my friend. When you’ve changed your mind, let me know.”

That wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, Shane thought to himself as he pulled into the parking lot of the station and switched off the engine. Despite Heidi making her feelings about dating him perfectly clear, Shane still held out hope that she would change her mind. He knew that he had given her something to think about, and he was willing to wait around until she realized that he was right. He could only hope desperately that it wouldn’t take long for her to come around to the idea.

“You mind giving me a ride home?” Buddy asked as they got out of the car and stretched their stiff legs. “Maribel’s got my car since hers is in the shop.”

“Sure, no problem,” Shane replied. “Just let me grab my coat from inside and I’ll be right out.” When he emerged from the station a few minutes later, Shane spotted Buddy standing beside his car with a strange grin on his face. “What’s going on?” Shane asked as he approached the car.

“You have a secret admirer,” Buddy said, pointing to the windshield.

*

“What’s this?” Shane asked the moment Heidi opened her front door. She gave him a sly smile, and after glancing over her shoulder, stepped onto her porch and closed the door behind her. In his hands Shane grasped the single long-stemmed red rose that had been stretched out across the front window of his car, tucked underneath the windshield wipers. After he found the rose, Shane had to endure fifteen whole minutes of Buddy’s taunts before dropping him off at his house. Shane immediately turned the car around and headed to Heidi’s.

“Just a little present,” Heidi said, reaching out to stroke one of the petals.

“I have to say, Heidi, that you’re confusing the hell out of me.” Shane leaned against the porch railing and crossed his legs at the ankles. “You’re sending me all kinds of mixed signals. Is this some kind of game you’re playing? Because I’m not that kind of guy.” When Shane first spotted the rose, he had been annoyed and more than a little hurt; he felt as though Heidi was throwing his romantic gesture back in his face.

Heidi’s face fell. “I know. After we had coffee the other day, I started thinking about what you said, about me being alone for the rest of my life.” She took a deep breath. “And I don’t want that to happen. Not because I can’t stand the thought of being by myself, but because I can’t stand the thought of not giving you and me a chance. I think there might be something special here, and I don’t want to pass it up.”

Shane considered her words carefully. If Heidi had said this to him at any other time, he would have been ecstatic. But now, he worried about her sincerity. Shane wanted to believe that Heidi was ready to take their relationship to the next level, but he wasn’t sure if she really knew what she wanted. Not that he blamed her, he thought. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like to walk in her shoes. But at the same time, Shane knew enough about himself to recognize that he was in a very vulnerable place, and he didn’t want to give his heart to someone who wasn’t prepared to fully accept it.

Shane’s face must have betrayed his inner turmoil, because when Heidi spoke next her voice was very small. “I really made a mess of things, didn’t I?” She sat down on the steps leading down to her sidewalk, and circled her arms around her knees. Shane dropped down beside her and placed the rose in her lap; she lifted it to her nose and inhaled deeply. “Roses are my favorite flowers. How did you know that?”

Shane shrugged. “Lucky guess, I suppose.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. Shane felt like he was being tugged in two directions, as if there was an intense battle going on between his head and his heart. He glanced over at Heidi, wanting nothing more than to reach out and smooth back the lock of hair that had fallen over her face. He knew that they were just two broken souls floundering through life. Shane couldn’t fault Heidi for her actions; he knew that she was just trying to do what she thought was right for herself and her son. As he studied the delicate curve of her face, he wondered what it would have been like if they had met years ago, long before life had worn them down.

That thought still in his mind, he stood up, dusted off his pants, and hopped down the steps to the sidewalk below. Heidi watched him, a forlorn look on her face. “I guess this is it?” she asked.

Ignoring her, he bent down and offered her his hand. She took it in bewilderment. “Hi,” he said. “I’m Shane Kensington. What’s your name?”

“Heidi,” she whispered. “Heidi Griffin.”

“Heidi Griffin, I have to say that you are, without a doubt, the loveliest woman I have ever met. Would it be all right if I took you out for dinner some night?”

A slow smile spread across her face, lighting up her features in a way that took Shane’s breath away. She straightened her back and held her head up to meet his eyes. “I would love nothing more.”

“Great. Then it’s a date.”

Heidi gently removed the delicate gold hoops from the bottom drawer of her jewelry box and fastened them around each ear, then stood back to admire the effect. Her father had surprised her with the earrings as a sixteenth birthday present, and Heidi couldn’t even remember the last time she had any occasion to wear them. She touched the other pieces of jewelry still tucked away beneath the velvet cloth, considering whether or not to add a bracelet to her ensemble. Holding up a gold tennis bracelet studded with tiny emeralds, she wrapped it around her wrist and held it out for Josie to see. Her friend had generously offered to watch Zachary for the evening so that Heidi and Shane could have their first date.

“Pretty,” Josie said, fingering the stones. “It goes really well with the color of your hair.”

“John gave it to me. Do you think it’s weird for me to wear it tonight?”

Josie frowned thoughtfully, considering Heidi’s words. “I don’t think so,” she said. “You may not want to mention it to Shane in case it makes him uncomfortable. Do you feel okay wearing it?”

Heidi paused, then removed the bracelet and laid it carefully back in its box. “I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “Part of me still thinks of tonight as a betrayal of John, even though I know that’s silly.” She glanced at her nightstand, where their wedding picture still stood. Looking around to see what had caught Heidi’s attention, Josie reached over and picked up the frame, holding it up to her nose to examine John’s face.

“So handsome,” she said.

“He was,” Heidi agreed, her voice catching in her throat. She sat down on the bed beside Josie; the other woman wrapped her arm around Heidi’s shoulder and pulled her close.

“You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready,” she said.

Heidi nodded. “I know. But I think I am ready. As ready as I’ll ever be, at least. This isn’t one of those things that you can prepare yourself for.”

“So,” Josie said, clapping her hands together, “what kind of stuff does Zachary like to do? I’m not that great with kids, and I’d rather not sit around staring at each other all night long.”

Heidi laughed and bent underneath the bed to retrieve a pair of high heels. “You don’t have to entertain him. I just want you here to keep him out of trouble. Although, I must say he’s been great lately.”

“No more running away?”

“Not even once. Ever since he made the basketball team he’s been blossoming.” Heidi hesitated. “Just don’t tell him where I’m going tonight. I said I was getting dinner with a friend.”

Josie raised her eyebrows. “You didn’t tell him about Shane?”

Heidi had debated back and forth with herself all week over whether or not it would be a good idea to tell Zachary that she and Shane had a date. On the one hand, she didn’t want to lie to her son. But on the other, she didn’t want to upset him for no reason. For all she knew, the chemistry that had been building up between her and Shane would all come crashing down now that they were finally taking their friendship to the next level. It was no longer forbidden fruit.

In the end, she had decided to wait and see how her relationship with Shane progressed. If their first date ended up being their last, Heidi saw no reason for Zachary to be involved. A big part of her hoped, though, that tonight would be the start of a new beginning for the two of them.

Having finally located the matching shoes, Heidi straightened up and slid her feet into them, then smoothed her dress and stood in front of Josie self-consciously. “How do I look?”

Josie reached out her hand to straighten Heidi’s hem, then stood back and looked her up and down. “Shane’s never seen you all dressed up, has he?” Heidi shook her head. “I can tell you right now that you’re going to knock his socks off.”

Heidi grinned. “I hope so.” She studied her reflection critically in the mirror. As a small treat to herself, she had gone to the mall that morning and picked out a formfitting strapless green dress with a matching shawl. Heidi had cringed slightly when she handed her credit card over to the cashier, but she had to admit that it felt good to splurge on herself for a change. “Hey! I don’t look half bad!”

Josie laughed and pushed her out of the room. “That’s putting it mildly. What time is Officer Kensington supposed to pick you up?”

Heidi blushed. “Any minute now. And please stop calling him that.”

“I can’t help it,” Josie said. “It just sounds so sexy.”

Heidi groaned and ran her fingers through her hair anxiously. “I’m already nervous enough, and you’re making it worse.” She heard the rumble of a car pulling into the driveway, and peered out of the small window on her front door. “He’s here.”

“Good luck,” Josie mouthed, giving Heidi the thumbs up and disappearing back into the bedroom just as the doorbell rang. Heidi drew in a deep breath, straightened her shawl around her shoulders, and plastered what she hoped was a confident smile on her face before pulling open the front door to greet Shane.

Silhouetted against the darkening sky, Shane looked effortlessly handsome in a pair of dark jeans, a crisp white shirt, and a charcoal blazer. He was holding two dozen red roses wrapped in delicate white paper and tied with a crimson bow, which he handed to her with a smile on his face. “For you.” He brought her hand up to his mouth and brushed his lips against it lightly; her skin tingled as his breath passed over it. “You look stunning.” He stepped back and raked his eyes over her body. “Wow.”

Heidi blushed and accepted the roses. “Thank you. I would invite you in, but I haven’t mentioned anything about tonight to Zachary yet, and I don’t want him to get suspicious.”

Shane frowned. “Isn’t he going to know I’m here?”

Heidi set the roses down on the living room table and grabbed her purse. “I may or may not have bought him a new video game this morning. He currently is completely unaware of what’s going on around him. I’m fairly certain that even a bomb exploding on our roof couldn’t bring him out of his room.”