Where Angels Tread (10 page)

“No,” he said, wondering if she could feel the heat blasting off of his bright red face. He wished that the elderly couple sitting on a pair of plastic chairs in the corner would stop staring at him. “I—I actually came to see you.” He shoved the flowers in her direction. “I was wondering…well, I was wondering if you’d like to go to dinner with me on Friday night. You know, as a date. Or something.” Smooth, he thought as the elderly woman giggled and winked at him; her husband tried to shush her, but Heidi caught sight of them and blushed. Really smooth.

“Wow,” Heidi said, her hands straying to her hair distractedly. “I don’t know what to say, Shane. I’m flattered.” She motioned for him to follow her outside to the corner of the building. Once there, she fingered the leaves on a potted plant before turning to him; Shane’s stomach dropped at the expression on her face, a mixture of sadness and determination.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and Shane could tell that she was choosing her words with precision. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She handed the flowers, now drooping slightly, back to him and crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest. “You’re a great guy, but my focus right now needs to be on Zachary.” Her face softened. “I hope you can understand.”

Shane nodded quickly, trying his best to look unconcerned; he was devastated, but determined not to show it. “I understand. And it’s no problem at all.” He passed the flowers back to her. “Keep these. Consider them a gift from a friend.” He shoved his hands into his pockets.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I’ll understand completely if you no longer want to help Zachary with his basketball game. If it will make you uncomfortable.”

Shaking his head fiercely, Shane said, “No way. I made a promise to him, and I plan to stick with it until he tries out for the team.”

Heidi smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you. I know he’ll appreciate it.” She inhaled deeply into the bouquet of flowers. “These are beautiful. They’ll definitely brighten up the desk at the nurses’ station. It’s been a long day and we could use some cheering up.” She held out her hand amicably, and he took it, trying his hardest to ignore the heat that passed between them when their skin touched. Had he just been imagining that she felt it too?

“I’ll see you around, then.” With one last glance at her eyes, which were now firmly planted on the ground at his feet, he headed back to his car, his thoughts on home and the comfort of his solitude.

Still holding the flowers with shaking hands, Heidi made a detour for the nearest bathroom. Once inside, she pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror, trying not to picture the shocked look on Shane’s face when she had rejected him. He had, she thought in despair, every reason to be upset with her. Over the past few weeks she had given off plenty of signals that she was interested in him, and when he finally mustered up the courage to ask her on a proper date she shot him down so fast it made her own head spin.

There had been a moment, right after he told her to keep the flowers, the she almost broke down and confessed everything: how strong her feelings were for him, how upset Zachary had been when he thought Shane was replacing his father, how she had decided that she needed to push her own feelings aside for the sake of her son. The weight of that decision now weighed heavily on her. There was, she knew, no going back. After a harsh rejection like that, Heidi was surprised that Shane was even still willing to help her son. But that was just the type of guy he was. A good one. And she had clearly just broken his heart.

She splashed cold water on her face and pinned her hair back into place. Heidi didn’t want her colleagues, especially eagle-eyed Josie, to realize that anything was amiss. She debated whether or not to toss the flowers in the garbage so that she wouldn’t have to see them, a constant reminder of what she had given up. As she held the fragrant roses in her hands, the white petals flushed with just a hint of pink, an idea struck her. If she couldn’t enjoy these flowers, at least someone else should.

Now outwardly composed, she strode out of the bathroom and up the stairs to the third floor of the hospital. Waving to a few of the nurses she knew from the break room, she counted the numbers on the doors of the rooms she passed by until she reached one decorated with bundles of cheerful get well balloons. She knocked lightly; the middle aged woman holding a silent vigil at the bedside of a teenage girl swung her head up. When she saw Heidi standing in the doorway, she beamed and beckoned for her to come inside.

“How is she doing?” Heidi whispered, laying the flowers gently on the small table beside Megan’s bed. Her mother thanked Heidi with a grateful smile and stroked her daughter’s hair lovingly. Since the car accident that brought Megan into Heidi’s emergency room, she had thought about the girl more than once, but hadn’t yet had an opportunity to visit her.

“Getting a little bit better, day by day. She had an MRI yesterday to assess whether or not she had any brain damage—as you can see, her head is still awfully swollen—but the doctors told me that there were promising signs that she’d make a full recovery.” Megan’s mother held out a photo with trembling hands. Heidi bent toward the picture and gasped; it showed Megan’s crumpled car wrapped around the light pole. “It’s a miracle she even survived. My God, we came so close to losing her. She’s our only daughter.”

Heidi placed a comforting hand on the woman’s shoulder. “I understand, believe me I do. I’m a single mother—my son is ten—and I have no idea what I would do if I lost him.” Heidi shuddered at the thought and handed the photo back to Megan’s mother. As she caught a glimpse of the mangled car once more, a bubble of despair rose up into her throat. She was suddenly feeling very sorry for stopping by.

“I should be on my way,” she stammered, wondering why the walls of the room seemed like they were closing in on her. Heidi could feel beads of sweat dotting her forehead; Megan’s mother was staring at her in apprehension. Heidi managed to wave goodbye before turning and positively fleeing from the room.

“Watch where you’re going!” a man in a white coat called out as she ran blindly down the hallway to the elevators. When she reached them, she punched the button again and again until the doors finally opened. She stepped inside and slumped against the wall, relief swarming her body when the doors closed firmly behind her, taking her as far away from the sight of that broken car as she could possibly get.

That was that, Shane thought, downing the last of his beer and slamming his empty glass down on the table with a crack. He motioned for the bartender to bring him another one, then slumped over and rested his head on his arms. Shane had expected to be celebrating right now; instead, he was sitting alone in a bar in the middle of the week, drowning his sorrows in alcohol. The bitter taste of the beer flooded his taste buds, dulling every other part of him. That was the way he wanted it.

He had done it. Put his heart on the line, only to have her squash it like a bug. It was his own fault, really, for being arrogant enough to think that he deserved a real shot at happiness, after everything that had happened to him. When the bartender slid another beer in his direction, Shane slung it down in one breath, tossed a twenty on the counter, and stumbled out of the bar. Fortunately, he had the foresight to walk that night; the bar was only a few blocks away from his house.

As Shane stepped outside, cold droplets of rain showered down on his face. Great, he thought as he pulled his jacket tighter around his body. Just what he needed, another reminder. He could feel the effects of the beer blurring the edges of his mind, making him more susceptible to the memory of the night things went so terribly, terribly wrong.

Shane tried his best to fight it down; not now, he thought desperately as the echo of Buddy’s laughter filled his ears. He stepped around to the side of the bar and pressed his hands against the cold concrete of the wall, trying to stem the flood of memories that he had always worked so hard to suppress. As he stood there, he forced his mind to go blissfully blank. To pretend, as he had done for the past three years, that the accident had never happened.

Heidi poured the freshly squeezed lemonade into two tall glasses, added a generous helping of sugar to each, and stirred vigorously until the sugar was completely dissolved. She tossed in a couple of ice cubes and swirled them around in the glasses to cool off the lemonade before serving it. Despite the chill in the air signaling the first hint of winter, she could see through the window that Zachary and Shane were dying for a cold drink. They had been out there for hours, she realized, glancing at the clock. These days, she kept her distance from Shane, who had gallantly stuck with his promise to train with her son until he was ready for tryouts.

Thankfully, Heidi thought, tracing her finger along the days marked on the calendar, tryouts were being held that same week for the school’s spring basketball league. Zachary, who hadn’t skipped a day of school since Heidi received the letter from his principal, had worked hard in the ensuing weeks to keep his grades up, and Heidi was proud to find out that he was eligible to join the team.

She set the lemonade on a tray and added a plate of chocolate chip cookies before carrying it out to the boys, who were seated on the driveway discussing tactics. “Remember what I said about passing,” Shane was saying as Zachary nodded along seriously. “You have to make sure you take your time to look around and see who is open and has the best chance of making the shot. Don’t just lob the ball at the first guy you see.”

“How’s it going out here?” Heidi asked as she passed each of them a glass.

“Great!” Zachary said, tearing off a chunk of his cookie. “I’m ready for tryouts, and Coach Whitt said that he’s throwing a pizza party for the whole team so we can get to know each other!” Heidi smiled fondly at her son, delighted at the gleam of excitement in his eyes. He turned to Shane. “You’ll be able to come to tryouts, right?”

“Zachary,” Heidi warned, “Shane has done more than enough already. Your tryouts are in the middle of the day, and he has to go to work. You can tell him all about it when you’re finished.”

Shane took a casual sip of lemonade and gave Heidi a tight smile. “Actually, I already told the chief that I’d need to take a couple of hours off.” He ruffled Zachary’s hair. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Not when we’ve put so much time into it!”

“Can we try that bank shot once more, Shane?” Zachary asked, running his fingers along the basketball nervously. “I’m not sure I have that one down yet.”

Shane set down his cookie and brushed the crumbs from his fingers, then motioned for Zachary to pass him the ball. “Sure, let’s do it right now. This is going to be the last practice before your tryouts, so I want to make sure we go over everything again.” He caught the ball, then stood up and stretched his arms over his head. As he did, the t-shirt he wore rose a few inches above the waistband of his shorts, revealing the muscles of his stomach. Heidi glanced away quickly; try as she might to ignore her feelings, she still found herself wildly attracted to Shane.

“I’ll get out of your way,” she said, collecting the empty glasses and hurrying back up the sidewalk to the safety of her house. Once inside, she closed the door firmly behind her. In the weeks since Shane had asked her out, she had done her best to keep her distance from him. They had remained cordial to each other, but Heidi knew from the way she sometimes caught Shane looking at her that she had hurt him deeply with her rejection. She also missed his company, the ease of their conversations, and the way they could joke around with each other. Heidi had hoped that there would be some way for them to stay friends, but sadly the awkwardness they now felt around each other prevented that from happening.

Once Zachary made the team, Shane would have no reason to come over anymore. A small part of Heidi felt relieved that life would be able to return to normal, and she could pretend that she and Shane Kensington had never met. It might take a while for her to erase him from her memory, but Heidi knew that it would be worth it in the end. Nothing good could come from pining over something that could never be. When the day came when her son was ready to accept the presence of another man in their lives, Heidi had no doubt that Shane would be off the market. Frankly, she was surprised that a man like him was still single, but she never gathered up the courage to ask him why.