When Our Worlds Collide (33 page)

“Overhead your little argument with that adorably naïve
girlfriend of yours. Do you feel better now that you realized that the guy
you’ve been pretending to be with her isn’t who you actually are?” she asks
pushing off of the wall as I make my way against her lean body.

Damn, I’ve missed this body. She’s the type of girl I’m
supposed to be with. She’s easy and doesn’t ask any questions unlike…Kennedy.

“What do you want Amanda? Because I’m in search of a large
bottle of liquor and I don’t need your shit tonight,” I run one of my fingers
over the exposed skin on her midriff as I speak knowing very well it will rile
her up.

What the fuck are you doing?

“Well speak of the devil, look what I have here.” Amanda
pulls a bottle of rum out from behind her back. Lord knows where she had been
hiding it. “Would you like some?” She raises a flirtatious eyebrow at me.

Oh, I definitely want some.

Chapter Fifty-One

-Kennedy-

Breathe.

Take a breath in Kennedy and let one out.

He didn’t mean what he just said. He’s just drunk and
upset. He has a right to be upset with you.

Remember that and don’t forget it.

I’m learning the hard way that it might not have been worth
losing him to save him. In the end I didn’t save him at all. It just sent him
into a tail spin that led him straight to the bottom of a bottle of 100 proof.
How could he say the things he said to me after everything we’ve been through?
I saw the look in his eyes. He meant them. He meant every last one of them. It
hurt like hell to see the hatred behind the eyes that usually only shine
softness for me.

“Kennedy, you need to sit down before you pass out,” Violet
demands sounding frightened of what she just witnessed. Her voice is muffled
and seems as if she’s far away between my harsh intakes of breath I have to
remind myself to take. I’m struggling to gain the upper hand on this meltdown.

“I’m fine. I’m okay,” I lie. I’m beginning to feel
lightheaded. Violet’s whispering in my ear to take small breaths. A few minutes
pass as I get my breathing under control.

“Kennedy, what the hell just happened? Graham walked in here
drunker than I’ve ever seen him and then he’s yelling at you about you not
keeping your mouth shut. Explain to me what the fuck is happening before I
freak the hell out on someone,” Violet questions with concern laced through her
words.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I lean my elbows on my
knees and rest my head in my hands. I feel Violet rubbing my back in attempt to
relax me. The last thing I want is to be around anyone right now. I have to
stand up. I know it’s a bad idea when I feel the lightheaded feeling coming
back with a vengeance. I sit down just as quickly as I had gotten up.

“Dan, grab Kennedy something to drink. Preferably something
with zero alcohol…that’s the last thing she needs.” Violet turns to face Dan.
He nods leaving the room heading towards the kitchen.

Dan comes back a few moments later with a red cup. He looks
at me sympathetically as he hands the cup over. I sniff it before taking a drink.
It’s just water. I down it in a few quick gulps. I throw the cup on the coffee
table standing up feeling a little less lightheaded and a little angrier after
letting it all settle in.

“Where are you going?” Dan asks quickly just as I am about
to round the corner to head towards the kitchen. He stands in front of me to
block my path. I can still feel everyone’s eyes on me. Too upset to care.

“I need fresh air and I don’t need a babysitter,” I snap
pushing his arm up to duck under his protective stance. I’m, in reality, going
to look for Graham.

“Kennedy, I don’t think you want to go in the kitchen.” Dan
looks at Violet having a silent conversation. He isn’t telling me something.
What’s going on in the kitchen?

“I’ll go with you out front,” Violet rushes over to me
trying to drag me towards the front hallway.

I stand my ground yanking my arm from her grip. Hell bent on
figuring out what all the whispering and knowing glances are for.

“Violet, whatever is in the kitchen can’t stay hidden
forever. Whatever it is I can handle. I’m a big girl.” I walk down the hallway
with Violet and Dan whispering to each other behind me.

I’m sure it’s just an illusion, a figment of my imagination.
Everything’s in slow motion. All of the voices in the house are hushed as I pass
by groups of people standing around whispering to each other. Some look at me
with pity while others have smirks on their faces. As if I’m not part of some
inside joke. It turns out I’m so far from the joke that it isn’t even funny. I
am the furthest from it all.

Amanda’s sitting on the counter top with her legs spread far
enough for Graham to be nuzzled in between them. Her short denim skirt is hiked
up to her hips. I can see a hint of her bright pink panties. Graham’s back is
to me which I think I’m thankful for until Amanda opens her mouth. Standing in
the doorway just staring in fear of moving, in fear of being noticed. I can’t
seem to force myself to look away.

Watching them is punishment. That’s what this is. It’s
punishment for doing what I thought was best for him. This was him punishing me
for the decisions I made. The decisions that were meant to protect him.

Amanda looks up at me from Graham’s neck that she’s just
seconds away from kissing. With a grin on her face as if she won the biggest prize
at the fair. She did win. I’m standing here loving the Graham that I thought
that he was and she’s with the Graham that everyone believes him to be. Maybe
he’s a little bit of both of them.

“Do you need something sweetheart?” Amanda cocks a perfectly
manicured eyebrow at me trying to get a rise out of me. Graham turns to see who
she’s addressing. His expression’s blank. There’s zero emotion in the eyes that
I have spent many nights staring in to. His eyes are glossy and bloodshot.

“No, I don’t need anything…especially from either of you,”
my voice was near a shout to prove my point. I can feel my shallow breaths
going in and out on the verge of hyperventilating. All the emotions I think I
have under control come crashing down.

Graham turns back around pushing Amanda’s hair away from her
neck as if I’m not still standing here seeing his assault happen. Honestly, I
don’t think he cares what I hear or what I see. He simply doesn’t care anymore.
Perhaps he never did.

Pushing through the crowd that followed me into the kitchen,
I make my way out onto the back deck. I lean against the railing resting my
head in my hands trying to fight back the tears that keep threatening to fall.
A few wiggle out through my attempt to keep them at bay. Angrily I wipe them from
my cheeks. 

I hate this Graham. The guy that just looked at me isn’t the
one that I fell in love with. He isn’t in there anymore. That breaks my heart
more than seeing Amanda wrapped around him.

“You are a fucking asshole,” Violet shouts from inside the
house. My entire body straightens to attention.

“Violet, back the fuck off,” Amanda voice shouts back.
“You’re not his mother. He can do what he wants. He’s a big boy.”

“Bitch, the only reason why he’s with you is because he’s
mad at her. When he sobers up tomorrow he’ll realize what a big colossal
mistake you were. Just like all the other guys you’ve been with.” Violet
screams back.

God, I have the best friend in the whole world.

There are too many voices arguing from within the kitchen. I
can barely understand where the argument is actually going. My headaches back.
I need to get out of here, away from all of them, away from all of this.

Stepping down the steps, I walk along the outskirt of Dan’s
woods that runs the backside of his property. I look back to see every light is
on in the house. It’s bright enough to light my way, but there is still
darkness that envelopes me. There’s a large green pull barn on the opposite end
of the property. I turn quickly thinking I heard footsteps behind me. No one’s there.
I keep making my way towards the barn where a large tractors sitting on a slab
of concrete. This will be a good place to sit and think by myself for a few
minutes until Violet comes searching for me.

My shoes hit the hard surface, that’s when I know someone’s
behind me. I hear the light footsteps making their way towards me crunching
over leaves. Call it intuition or just pure perceptiveness, but as a species I
think we can just sense things. We have a way of knowing when something is
going to happen or if we’re being watched. I hear the sticks breaking around me
alerting my senses that I was right.

Violet’s checking on me. I’m sure excited to tell me how she
gave Amanda and Graham a verbal bitch slap. A little time to be on my own
would’ve been nice. When she catches up with me she’ll want me to talk about
it. I’m not ready to relive that mess.

“I don’t feel like talking right now. Thanks for yelling at
the skank for me though,” I say under my breath leaning my head against the
tractor shuffling my shoes on the pebbles underneath me. My eyes are tightly
shut. It hurts too bad, makes me feel too hard, to have them open.

“What skank would that be?” a deep familiar chilling voice
says from behind me. My eyes spring open.

I turn to see the disturbed face that matches the bone
rattling voice. He’s only a few strides away from me keeping a safe distance.
As I go to shift to put space between us he closes in on me. I’m pinned against
the back wheel of the tractor.

“What do you want Craig?” My voice is laced with fear. The
lump in my throat as I try to swallow is impossible to ignore. I squeeze my
eyelids shut hoping that it’s not real, hoping that it’s just a nightmare and
tonight isn’t real.

“I think we
both
know what I want.” He pushes me hard
against the tire causing a pain to shoot down my back from the unexpected
contact. My first thought is to scream. I know it wouldn’t do any good if I do
though. No one will hear me over the music and everyone milling around the
house.

Graham isn’t here to protect me this time.

I’m alone.

You need to get away.

Run.

Do something.

Craig hand slides down my arm. His defensive stance is gone.
This is my chance to run. As I do, I barely make it a few steps when he trips
me. Falling on my elbows to catch the impact, the pain is excruciating. Nothing
compares to what I know is coming next. I feel a weight on my back immobilizing
me to the concrete.

“Bitch, stay down there. It’s where you belong. You prance
around teasing me and now I’m going to take what’s mine.” Craig’s body is
pressed up against mine leaving no room for me to move out from under him.

I push off the concrete trying to gain leverage on him. He
slams his fist into the side of my head. My vision immediately goes blurry. The
pain makes my stomach lurch in protest. Craig grips my wrists flipping me over
onto my back keeping me trapped underneath him.

I try to fight him off again with no luck. The more I
struggle the more physical he gets. It takes a handful of slaps to my face and
an elbow to my nose to figure it out. Blood’s running down my throat causing me
to choke. I tilt my head to the side to alleviate the pain in my throat from
violently coughing.

Craig grabs my hands pulling them above my head with one of
his, leaving the other one open to rip down my pants and unzip his in a matter
of seconds. All I can think is that it’s going to happen. He’s going to finish
the job that he started a few months back.

I take a look into his eyes pushing through all my fear in
hopes to see a shred of humanity. His eyes are exactly what I had been afraid
of seeing, an unyielding hollowness. He knows what he’s doing and he doesn’t
care. He doesn’t care how it will affect me, what it will do to me.

I fight as much as I can until it feels useless. All I hear
are Craig’s grunts and moans as I push against his heavy chest. I close my eyes
hoping to open them to it all being a nightmare. I’m doing that a lot lately.

There’s a sharp pain at my hip from the fabric being pulled.
My underwear is ripped from my body as my eyes spring open. The sound of the
fabric being torn apart is near deafening. It doesn’t compare to the ear
popping sound of my muffled screams as Craig forces himself to where he isn’t
welcomed. Tears run down my face. I refuse to open my eyes not wanting to see
the satisfied look on his face as he forces himself inside of me.

“You know you like it,” Craig grunts in my ear. I turn my
head to get away from his hot breath that’s fully perfumed with the stench of
whiskey. It doesn’t work. He grabs my face forcing my face towards his. “Look
at me, slut. You have been begging me for this. You can’t blame me for taking
what was rightfully mine in the first place. You didn’t have a problem with
spreading your legs for Graham, now did you?”

I force my eyes to shut farther if that was even possible. I
felt the punch just as he released inside of me. My lip throbs. I can taste the
blood on my tongue. As Craig rolls off of me, I turn my body away from him. The
soreness consumes everything. Trying to sit up, I feel the blow of Craig’s boot
on my ribcage ring over and over again. I lose count of how many times he has
kicked me. The bottom of his boot slams against my face twice as I lay
helpless, motionless on the cold concrete. The damage wasn’t going to be
pretty. None of this is pretty. I scream out no longer forcing back the tears
and pain. It’s unbearable.

“You see, Kennedy, all of this is your fault. If Graham
wouldn’t have turned into a pussy when he started bagging you then he wouldn’t
have lost his god damn mind punching me in front of everyone. It put a target
on my back. No one goes against Graham Black’s actions putting me at the
bottom. I don’t belong on the bottom. You know that already though,” Craig
vindictively shouts from above me.

As he starts to walk away he turns back to face me making
his way back over the top of me. He sees the obvious flinch when he comes near
me. I can barely see him. I can feel him though. “Crawl your ass back to your
car. You look terrible,” he whispers leaning over me before walking away.

I lay on the cold concrete listening to everything that’s
around me. I know that Craig’s no longer close by. I heard his footsteps as he
walked away without a care in the world. As if he didn’t understand the
magnitude of his actions. I feel every bone in my body throbbing, crying out
for help.

I reach into my back pocket to grab my cellphone. I need to
call someone--- Do I call Violet? Do I call my parents? What would I say to
anyone even if I did call them? I just don’t know who I should call. I feel
embarrassed. I know I have nothing to be embarrassed about. I shift my body to
try to sit up. I can make it to my car. My ribs scream in pain as I try to
move. That’s not going to be an option. I lay there on my side naked from the
waist down for I don’t know how long. I don’t bother looking at the clock on my
phone that’s resting in my hand. I hear it beep a few times alerting me that I
have missed texts. They’re from Violet. She’s probably worried sick. She has no
clue where I’m at.