When Only Cupcakes Will Do (24 page)

‘I'm not sure. We've still got a lot to talk about. I know he's genuinely remorseful about what happened. And this time it sounds like he really wants to settle down. I've arranged to have afternoon tea with him at Fortnum & Mason next Saturday after my meeting with their confectionery buyer. Oh, Jess, I'm so excited about that. Just to see a selection of my cupcakes in my favourite London store will be a dream come true.'

‘But does that dream feature Alex, though? Could his change of heart about settling down just be because he's surrounded by friends and colleagues who are doing the same? Have you thought about that? He almost spelt it out to you. Greg and Yolande are expecting their first child, Harry and Jemima are getting married, other friends are getting engaged. Is he really in love with you? Even if he is and now's the right time for him, the most important question is – is it the right time for you and are you still in love with him?'

Jess scrutinised Lucie's expression as she sipped her Earl Grey tea.

‘Lucie, you've got to follow your heart this time, not your head. Only you know whether you truly love Alex, but you've not heard anything from him for three long months. You've been through hell since he ditched you; been fired from your job, lost your home, not to mention the fiasco with Twitter. You know we love having you here with us, and if I had my way you would stay in Richmond with me and the boys for ever. But I'm worried about you.'

‘Worried about me? Why?'

‘I don't want you to rush back into Alex's arms now that he's suddenly decided he wants a relationship because it's convenient for
him
.'

‘Alex says he misses me.'

‘But do you love him? I can't live your life for you, Lucie, but I want you to be one hundred per cent sure before you give your heart to him again. He let you down once. Will he do it again?'

Lucie stared into the dregs of her mug. Steph had delivered a similar monologue when she'd called her that morning full of excitement about her appointment with Fortnum & Mason and made a promise to meet her and Hollie after she'd met up with Alex. She loved her friends, and her sister, and she knew they had her best interests at heart, but she had to weigh up her options herself and make her own choices.

‘Jess, didn't I love Alex more than anything else in the world? That's why I proposed to him! This could be my chance to turn back the clock and have a second chance to get things right, for us to be a couple again and to move our relationship forward to the next stage. I know he let me down and you're right – he did hurt me; but he's explained what a shock it was for him and now he's had chance to think it through he's genuinely remorseful.'

‘What did he say about the Travelling Cupcake Company? Was he proud of what you've achieved since you left London?'

‘Well, we only spoke for a few minutes. We didn't really mention what I've been doing.'

‘Yet there was time for him to tell you about his partnership, his boss's baby news and his friend's engagement?'

‘Yes, I…'

‘Lucie, please, tell me you'll think long and hard before you rush into anything? You've made a new life for yourself here. Our business has such potential – I mean, supplying Fortnum & Mason with cake pops and cupcakes? The Queen shops there! Are you ready to give everything you've achieved up to go running back to Alex?'

Jess paused, clearly struggling with her next sentence and then deciding to throw caution to the wind and toss the grenade into the conversation.

‘What about Ed? You two seem to have a connection and you've got lots more in common. And he opened up to you about his accident. I've spoken to Rosa and she says he never discusses the details with anyone outside the family. You have that in common too – you've both made life-changing decisions to follow your passions and, from where I'm sitting, you both seem to have made a great success of it.'

‘Ed is just a friend, Jess. But you're right. We do have a connection and he's taught me a lot about myself, not just in the culinary arena.'

Jess reached across the table and took Lucie's hand. ‘I love you, Lucie, and if Alex is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, then go get him! But I have to disagree with you about Ed. He's more than just a friend. I've seen the way he flashes those dark, sultry, sexy glances at you when you're not looking. In my humble opinion, when he burst into your life for the second time it was obvious there was chemistry between you. He's painted your previously monochrome existence with a vibrant rainbow of excitement. He took you zip-wiring, for goodness' sake!

‘And he's a real-life hero too. I looked the story of his crash in Sicily up on the internet. He dragged that lorry driver out of a burning wreck and saved his life. I mean, wow! If it was up to me I'd plump for the Technicolor version of life every time. I know he loves you. And if you don't mind your big sister shoving her nose even further into your love life – I think you love him too, but you're afraid to admit it. Take a chance, darling. Look what happened when you did the same with your professional dreams. Are you happy with how the Travelling Cupcake Company has turned out?

‘Of course I am!'

‘Then grab a few more of those happiness coins by letting your heart rule your head in the romance stakes as well.'

She had smiled at Jess and thanked her for her love and support over the last three months. Together, they bathed Lewis and Jack and read them a seemingly inexhaustible selection of bedtime stories before falling into bed themselves.

She hadn't heard anything from Ed since he'd left her outside the Fox and Hounds. Obviously he was leaving her to get on with her life. Maybe his decision was for the best – if she was contemplating a reconciliation with Alex, why would she want to maintain a close friendship with a male friend? Also, she didn't have to ponder too long on the reaction she'd get from Alex if she told him she was friends with the guy who had been at the centre of her very public meltdown.

But while her head told her that her assumptions were valid, her heart thumped a strong objection. As she pulled the duvet up to her chin, her stomach gave a painful lurch, sending a sharp spasm of regret around her body, and tears began to roll down her cheeks.

The day out with Ed, flying with abandon through the treetop canopy and the mellow, relaxed atmosphere of dinner at Adriano's afterwards, seemed like a distant mirage now. The last image she had of him was of his chocolate-brown eyes fixed on hers as he demanded she give her heart a starring role in her decision-making. She should be tackling life and all its challenges head-on instead of allowing it to happen to her.

She thought of Alex, of the life she would have with him in Pimlico. Was that what she really wanted? Would she still be able to run her business from his tiny, soulless flat? For one thing there was nowhere to park the van and for another his kitchen was certainly not equipped to survive the assault of her forays into culinary autopsies. For God's sake, there were still polystyrene blocks in the oven!

And did she want to live so far away from her family after she'd tasted the joy of seeing them on a daily basis? Of working side-by-side with her wonderful sister and nephews as they designed ever more elaborate figures for their cake pops? She adored being an integral part of educating the next generation about the pleasure that could be induced by the preparation of food and its sweet indulgence.

She was even less sure of her feelings about Alex. She couldn't dismiss the connection she had found with Ed – in more ways than one and, in fact, on a much deeper emotional level than she'd ever had with Alex. But she couldn't function unless she gave her heart to one person one hundred per cent – what was the point otherwise? She had done that with Alex, invested every bit of her heart and soul in him so that her world revolved around his. Except, of course, for that other, non-negotiable relationship in her life – her intimate love affair with desserts.

As exhaustion chased her thoughts into the welcome oblivion of sleep, the final image to scuttle across her eyelids was of Ed, his dark curls falling over his forehead, his grin lighting up his eyes as he savoured Adriano's superb risotto or watched her ride the zip wire for the first time. If she were honest with herself, she'd definitely hoped for more than just continued friendship with Edmundo Cartolli before Alex had stormed back into her life.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The alarm clock woke her and for a few seconds an overwhelming feeling of disorientation overpowered her senses. Her head felt like it had been stuffed with feathers and her eyes like they'd been liberally coated with a layer of grit. Today was the day when all her professional dreams could come true if Georges Gasnier, Fortnum & Mason's highly respected confectionery buyer, decided that her cupcakes and cake pops were good enough to adorn their hallowed shelves.

‘Jess, zip me up, would you? How do I look?'

‘
Bellisimo!
' her sister laughed as she slotted her hands into the back pockets of her skinny jeans and ran her eyes over the complete ensemble. ‘Mmm, maybe a pair of heels would look better that those flatties, though?'

‘I won't be comfortable in heels, Jess. Anyway, I'm used to wearing pumps. I always tower over Alex when I wear heels.'

‘But you're going to Fortnum & Mason for a business meeting first and foremost. Go on. Try these on.' Jess scrabbled about in the bottom of her wardrobe and handed Lucie a pair of nude stilettos.

Lucie slipped them on and immediately experienced a surge of confidence. It was amazing what a pair of heels could do for a girl. What had she been missing all this time? An unexpected pang of irritation reminded her that being with Alex had forced her to change her whole focus on footwear. Before her relationship with him, she had adored her stilettos, even competing with Steph for the title of Tootsie Princess. But any heel higher than an inch caused her to stoop in order to look Alex in the eye and she'd had to swap the boost of confidence the heels gave her for safeguarding Alex's ego. Was she still prepared to do that? She collected her purse from Jess's bed and made her way down the stairs.

‘Okay. I should be back by six at the latest.'

‘Promise to call after your meeting with Georges Gasnier. Oh, I'm so excited! My sister selling her products at the Queen's grocer's! I spoke to Mum last night and she's told all her tennis club ladies and she can't wait for you to go out and run a class alongside her in Spain for the ex-pats. I think it's an excellent idea!'

‘I think you and the boys should come too. Make it a family affair.'

‘Sounds like a plan!'

A prickle of nerves gnawed at the edges of Lucie's abdomen but she doused them with a burst of self-confidence. She hugged Jess on the doorstep and trotted down the garden path, a little unsteady on the unfamiliar four-inch heels but her spirits flying high as she anticipated the meeting that could change her life for ever. She had sent over a selection of her cupcakes and cake pops in advance and rehearsed her pitch until it was as familiar as the back of her hand. She was ready to take her favourite emporium by storm.

As she clambered into the back of a taxi, her thoughts began to spin through what lay ahead.

Alex.

Whenever she took that conundrum out of its box her brain became a scattergun of unconnected thoughts, her body engulfed in a mantle of concrete, as she struggled to decide what to do. She glanced out of the window at the capital's streets flashing by. She had the strangest feeling that she was travelling through a hazy mirage of a parallel reality while the rest of the world went about their Saturday morning business oblivious that one person among them was on her way to a rendezvous that might change the course of her life for ever.

In the cold light of day, deciding whether she still wanted to meet Alex for afternoon tea after her appointment at Fortnum & Mason was more complicated. If she was planning on accepting his invitation to be his ‘plus one' at Jemima and Harry's wedding the following Saturday she needed to hear his detailed explanation and a heartfelt apology for his questionable behaviour, not only when he'd turned down her proposal in Tiffany's but in the following weeks when her life was in turmoil and he was nowhere to be seen. She knew that once she'd heard his reasons she would be able to see the whole episode much more clearly and a decision would be easier.

But any reconciliation had to mean absolute commitment to a permanent future together. A fizzle of something she struggled to name erupted in her chest but was extinguished almost immediately. Did she want to marry Alex? And was Jess right? Did he only want to be with her now that his friends and colleagues were settling down and it was the next logical step in his quest to carve out a perfect life to match that of Greg and Yolande, Harry and Jemima, and all his other friends and acquaintances?

The taxi paused in traffic on The Mall. The sun had climbed higher in the sky and spread tendrils of warmth across the pavements, and shafts of light sliced through the trees lining the route. She decided on the spur of the moment to walk the rest of the way to Fortnum & Mason. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed the city; its bustling streets filled today with tourists and shoppers.

She set off at a brisk pace, welcoming the exercise, enjoying the cool air that licked her face, even though it lacked the sharp freshness of the air in Richmond. Each step served to banish her previous doubts into oblivion and notched up her hopes that a rekindled relationship with Alex was where her future lay. It made practical sense. She would have minimal difficulty finding a suitable kitchen position, maybe at one of the smaller boutique hotels or high-end bistros. In fact, she could probably just pick up where she left off. No one would remember her as Livid Lucie! But as she slowed her stride, the counter-arguments intervened and attacked with a vengeance. Was that what she truly wanted?