When Love Is Enough (16 page)

How could she eat when her brother was probably starving? Or when she knew this might be the last night any one of them might be alive?

What if Jean-Paul’s plan went wrong? What if none of them came back?

She wrapped her arms around her middle and held tight. She was afraid. More afraid than she’d ever been in her life. She was suddenly desperate to see Gabriel. What if he left without stopping to see her first? What if he was already on his way—

There was a soft knock and she ran to the door to answer it.

He stepped inside, then closed the door behind him. She waited for him to speak first, but he only looked at her without moving. She couldn’t stand the silence.

"Is it time?"

He nodded. "Jean-Paul and the others are waiting outside for me."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Just be ready to leave the minute we return."

"Maybe I could help. Maybe I could go with you and—"

He held up his hand to stop her words. "Come here. We need to talk."

She sat on the chair and watched him pull the other chair opposite hers. A feeling of dread settled over her. He was going to ask her to do the impossible. He was going to tell her to be brave, to go home without him if their plan failed, to live the rest of her life without him.

She couldn’t let him.

"Do you think your plan will work?" she asked in an attempt to avoid the inevitable.

"Yes."

She nodded then clenched her hands in her lap. Her heart lodged in her throat, and even though a fire blazed in the grate, she couldn’t stop the shivers that racked her body. "What if—"

"Liddy," he said, clasping her hands in his.

She squeezed her eyes shut and stopped herself from rambling nervously.

"Before I leave I need you to promise you will do something for me."

"No." She pulled her hands from his grasp and bolted to her feet. "Don’t ask me to leave without you. Without Austin. I won’t do it."

He stood, then pulled her into his arms. "You have to. I have to know that you’re safe."

"I
am
safe. I’ll be safe here until you come back for me."

"I know. But if for some reason we aren’t back by sun-up, I want you to go to the
Silver Star
."

She shook her head. She didn’t want to hear what she was to do if something went wrong with their plan. But he wouldn’t let her. He placed a finger beneath her chin and lifted until their gazes met.

"Jean-Paul left two men here who will see that you get to Rouen safely. I’ve already given them instructions. Tell Captain Faraday to set sail the minute you board."

Her heart thundered in her chest. "No. I won’t leave you."

He lifted his hand and swiped his fingers through his hair. "You gave your word before we left."

"That was before. Because I knew you wouldn’t let me come if I didn’t promise."

"Don’t do this, Liddy. I can’t chance that something might happen to you."

"Nothing will happen to me. I’ll be safe here until you return."

"You don’t know that. We have to consider all the possibilities."

The earth shifted beneath her and she couldn’t keep her balance. He anticipated that something might happen to him and wanted her word that she’d leave him behind.

She took a step back and glared at him. "I won’t leave you behind. You can’t ask me to."

He slowly took a step toward her. His eyes were dark with emotion. His pain-filled expression wrenched her heart.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, then lowered his head and touched his forehead to hers. "You’ve been so brave, Liddy. Very few women would have been courageous enough to leave the safety of their homes and take the risks you’ve already taken. Very few could have faced our French captain with such calmness. You’ve already had to endure more than most men are asked to endure in their lifetimes. Now, I’m asking you to do something even more difficult."

He pressed his lips to her forehead. "Promise me you’ll leave the minute you realize we aren’t returning."

She shook her head. "I can’t."

"You have to. Jean-Paul and his family will be in danger if you don’t."

The thought of putting everyone who’d been so kind to her in danger affected her like nothing else could have, except—

He cupped one palm to her cheek. "Promise me, Liddy."

Her heart dropped inside her chest like a lead weight. She wasn’t sure she was brave enough to leave them behind, yet, she knew he wouldn’t give up until she gave her word that she would. She swallowed hard. "I promise I’ll leave as soon as I’m convinced you aren’t returning."

"That’s my girl," he whispered, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead again. "I have to go. Jean-Paul and the others are waiting."

He turned and stepped away from her. Lydia felt a void unlike anything she’d ever experienced before, a loss unlike any grief she’d ever endured. She couldn’t let him leave her like this. What if he never came back?

"Gabriel?"

He stopped, then turned.

Their gazes locked and what she saw in his eyes stole her breath. She took one step forward then another. And waited. She’d run the gamut of emotions since he’d come back into her life, from anger to loss to desire to raging need. She didn’t want him to leave her this last time without...

She opened her mouth to speak but her words came out as a tortured whisper. "Hold me. Please."

He looked at her, then closed his eyes and sighed as if in resignation to some inner battle he’d lost. "Ah, Liddy," he answered, then opened his arms to let her in.

She rushed to him and let him envelop her.

He pulled her close, holding her as if he never wanted to let her go.

She knew the passion raging through her was real, knew the depth of emotion she felt for him was genuine. If this were the last time she’d have him, she wanted there to be more.

Lydia nestled closer and wound her arms around him.

"You don’t play fair," he whispered.

When she lifted her gaze, Gabriel’s eyes were dark with emotion. "Tell me you never loved me," she whispered. "Tell me you left me because you didn’t love me."

His eyes closed. His breathing turned harsh and ragged. "I can’t."

Her flesh burned where they touched, her chest heaved as it struggled to take in even one breath. She needed him to kiss her. She’d regret it forever if he didn’t. She raised her chin and whispered a plea that he would end her agony.

His loud moan echoed in the tension-filled room and he brought his mouth down to hers.

The kiss they shared was wrought with passion, with desperation, as if it required him to surrender his soul.

She clung to him because she could do nothing else. He’d stolen every ounce of strength from her, had weakened what little resolve she had left.

"Heaven help us," he whispered, and he kissed her again.

His tongue entered her mouth and she leaned into him, gave in to him, ached to make herself a part of him. Again and again his tongue met hers, the rhythm explosive.

She was certain the desperation in his kiss held some higher meaning and searched to find it. But she’d lost all coherency.

A burning whirlpool swirled deep in the pit of her stomach, spinning, churning, then moved with molten intensity to a secret place lower inside her. A place he’d awakened when he’d kissed her before.

With a heart-wrenching moan of anguish, he pulled her closer.

She clung to him with all the strength she had.

She leaned her cheek against his chest and listened to the loud, pulsing thunder of his heart beneath her ear. This was so much more than they’d shared before - so much more than she thought there could be between Gabriel and herself. How could she ever be content with anything less?

Yet, she knew she must. And so did he.

Suddenly, the cold reality of what was expected of them loomed more menacingly. He stepped away from her and walked to the door.

She brought her hands to her mouth to stop the gasping cry, but it escaped anyway.

"If we’re not back by sun-up, go to Rouen and Captain Faraday so he can take you home."

She wanted to argue with him but he didn’t give her a chance.

He closed the door and was gone.

"We’re here," Jean-Paul whispered when the wagon turned at the entrance to Mont-Valérien.

Gabriel held himself as still as possible in the fake compartment beneath the bed of Jean-Paul’s wagon. If everything went as planned, the regular guard would be gone and one of Jean-Paul’s men would be in his place.

"Halt," the guard demanded when the wagon stopped. "What do you have there?"

Gabriel reached for his pistol, prepared to fire. He relaxed his grip when he heard Jean-Paul’s answer.

"A dozen doxies for your evening’s pleasure, my friend."

The guard laughed. "A dozen? Oui! Come right in."

Gabriel breathed a sigh of relief then pushed himself out of the hiding compartment and jumped to the ground. "The guard took the bribe?" he asked, rubbing his thigh while he brushed the straw from his woolen trousers.

"Yes, but he didn’t come cheaply."

"No matter. Money is the least of our concerns."

Marcel led the way toward the open door and they followed. "The guard only promised to be gone an hour so we need to hurry," he said.

Gabriel’s heart raced as he followed Marcel through a small side door. They walked past two guards lying unconscious on the floor, then to the heavy prison door that led to the area where the prisoners were held.

"There’s another guard inside," Marcel whispered.

Gabriel pulled his pistol from his pocket, as did the others, and stepped closer. "I’ll go first."

Jean-Paul clasped him on the shoulder. "I can lead the way. I know—"

"I’ll lead." Gabriel knew his friend meant well, but he couldn’t let anyone take the bigger risk. "No matter what happens, get Austin out first."

Jean-Paul frowned. "We’ll all get out."

Gabriel nodded then went to the door. "Ready?"

"Oui, Major."

Gabriel pushed on the thick wooden door and rushed through the opening.

The sleeping guard sat to the right of the door with his chair tipped back against the wall and his chin resting on his chest. He was a heap on the floor before he realized what happened. Gabriel grabbed the keys from the guard’s belt and raced down the long line of cells until he found the one where Austin was held. He turned the key in the lock, then rushed to the corner where Austin lay.

"Austin?" He gently moved his friend but stopped when Austin moaned. Bloody hell. What had they done to him?

Gabriel’s blood boiled. Austin hadn’t only been imprisoned and beaten. He’d been tortured.

Gabriel glanced at the torn flesh on Austin’s back and the burns over his arms and shoulders and was engulfed by a fury that raged out of control.

He placed his arm beneath Austin’s shoulder and raised him. His face was swollen and caked with blood, and he was weak and barely conscious. But he was alive.

"Gabe?"

"Yes, it’s me. Come on. Let’s get you out of here."

Thankfully, Henri entered the cell and helped him carry Austin down the long hall. They made their way past the single guard, then the two in the outer room, and finally out into the open. The minute they hit the cool outside air, Austin moaned again.

"Hold on, Austin. Just a little farther."

"Thorn," Austin said.

"It’s all right," Gabriel answered. He knew what Austin was going to tell him. He’d been beaten and tortured, and he’d broken. He’d told them about Thorn. "It’s all right, Austin. We’ll fix it."

"No...He’s..." Austin grabbed Gabriel’s jacket and pulled him closer. "He’s...here."

Austin’s words struck him like a blow to the chest. "What did you say?"

"He’s here... Last cell."

Gabriel settled Austin in the bed of the wagon, then raced back inside the prison. Prisoner after freed prisoner rushed out and Gabriel evaluated each one, praying he’d recognize the man they’d dubbed Thorn.

None seemed likely.

He looked down the aisle. Jean-Paul hadn’t reached the last cell. Their mysterious agent was still locked inside.

Suddenly it was important to Gabriel that he was the one to free the agent who’d played such an important role in ending the war, that
he
was the one to get Thorn to safety, perhaps as repayment for what he’d done for England.

He raced down the long corridor as fast as his aching leg would allow and met Jean-Paul as he reached the last cell. "I’ll finish here. Make room in the wagon. There will be one more."

Jean-Paul left him without question and Gabriel slid the key into the lock. With a loud clang, the latch released and he swung open the door.

He looked to the huddled form in the corner of the cell. The man struggled to sit, but couldn’t accomplish the deed.

Gabriel raced to his side. "How badly are you hurt?"

"I can walk, Major."

A stabbing of familiarity spiked through him and he turned his head to look at the man who’d been a mystery to him during the war. The realization of Thorn’s identity nearly took him to his knees.

Gabriel halted in mid step. He’d waited years to discover Thorn’s identity, spent endless hours arguing with Austin over what kind of man this larger-than-life hero had to be, but the man he helped from the French prison couldn’t be him. It couldn’t be – because if it was, he was saving the man who would destroy any chance he had for happiness when they returned to England.

He was saving the Marquess of Culbertson.

His mind reeled. This was the man who’d masterminded every covert operation Gabriel had been sent on. The man whose daring and brilliance had saved thousands of lives. The man whose ability to discover the enemy’s next moves had brought about a quicker end to the war.

The man who would take Liddy away from him.

He tried to force his feet to move but the battle inside him waged too intensely. The vow he’d made Chisolmwood more than a year ago blared with alarming hostility. He had within his power to exact revenge on the Duke of Chisolmwood for destroying not only his life, but Liddy’s, too.