Wheels of Steel, Book 1 (28 page)

Robin fidgeted until it was time to make the coffee. She didn’t try to make small talk. The two didn’t speak one word and in the car Jason plugged in his earphones and shut her out further. It was like the very first day. With one exception. This time she would not get sucked up into his anger. This time she would be professional and if he didn’t trust her and couldn’t tell her why, then…the hell with Jason Hamilton! She was sick and tired of his games!

He had a seizure right before lunch which caused them to be the last arrivals at the table. Her expression was uncharacteristically angry when they finally did arrive. Just as she always did, Robin placed her hand on his chest to prevent him from falling and when he came to, he rudely brushed her hand away from him and wheeled to the cafeteria without comment. Well he didn’t have to ever worry about her touching him again!

He paid for their lunch as normal and then at the table proceeded to ignore her. Even Link could tell that something was up. He gave Jason a questioning look, which was ignored. Then Link opened his mouth to speak to her and Robin held up a finger and opened her cell phone. She stared at Jason as she pretended to listen to a message. And a long time later she pretended to text back and forth. She was watching him eat, so he couldn’t complain. In that way, Robin allowed herself to slip out of the group that she had just become familiar with.

The ride home was quiet. Jason got into his chair, and angrily wheeled to his apartment while Robin angrily drove back to her apartment.

Chapter 23

Robin was in a foul mood when she reached her next job and happy that she didn’t have to bathe Mr. Fred tonight. Despite that, he still creeped her out just as much. He actually touched her hand when she passed him a glass of water. And even though she had kept on the hoodie and loose sweat pants that she had worn earlier to Jason’s, his eyes still stayed glued to her chest and butt. It was like he had x-ray vision! She even saw him licking his lips at the sight of her.

She fried him chop steak, made instant potatoes and opened a can of green beans. He kept asking her to eat with him but she was too grossed out to have an appetite. She knew that she should not be having such negative thoughts and she tried hard not to let them show on her face. After about the sixth time of telling her that the food would go to waste she practically snapped that it wouldn’t go to waste since it was going to be leftovers for his dinner tomorrow!

After dinner she gave him his medicine and then insisted that he brush his teeth; his breath was horrendous. But he just pulled out grimy false teeth and she had to clean them for him since he was too weak to do it himself.

He watched TV for a while and then said he was ready for his bath. Robin gave him a disgusted look.

“Tomorrow.” She said.

He pouted but she stuck to her guns. He said he needed help putting on pajamas and she made him sleep in his underwear. When he was in bed she told him goodnight and practically ran out of the house.

She hadn’t been in the mood to visit Miss Lucille, as she had planned. And she wasn’t in the mood to pretend to be Sweetheart. She would be happy if she never spoke to Jason Hamilton again! And then she cried into her pillow until she fell asleep.

***

The next day was Robin’s turn to be angry. When he opened the door for her, she didn’t even wait for him to say good morning or go to hell. She walked past him and dropped her purse into the armchair, and headed for the kitchen.

He followed wordlessly and just like the day before, Jason waited in the entrance of the kitchen, watching her with accusing eyes.

She made the coffee and he still hadn’t made his breakfast. “Do you want me to make your breakfast?” She finally asked.

Jason wheeled into the living room ignoring her. Robin waited a moment and then followed him. Her fist went to her hips.

“Did I do something wrong?” She finally asked.

“No.” He said.

“Then why…?” She didn’t know how to finish the question.

“Why,
what
, Robin?” His anger seemed to have disappeared, to be replaced by something much worse; hurt. He seemed to be truly disappointed by her.

“Why are you angry at me?” She knew that she was about to cry as her voice cracked. This was such bullshit! Why was she crying when he was the one being mean to her?

“I’m not angry.” He stared at her. After a moment she made to turn away. He sighed in disgust.

“I can’t believe…You’re not going to fess up, are you?”

“Fess up? Fess up to what?” She gave him a completely confused look.

“You would just keep going with this…FAÇADE! YOU’RE SWEETHEART IN HAMILTON COUNTY!!”

Robin’s mouth dropped and her eyes bulged. She swallowed. “Jason…” She was speechless. How did he know? How could he have figured it out???

“Robin…what is wrong with you?! Are you playing some game? Why would you do something like that?! Are you trying to…dig up something about me? You could have just asked me what you wanted to know!”

“I…”

“What?”

“I’m sorry.” Her breath came out in a rush. “I wasn’t trying to pretend to be someone else. I just commented on your YouTube is all.” Her words were coming out in a rush. “Then when you commented back I should have said who I was but I didn’t. And when I didn’t then, it seemed that too much time had passed…I mean, like…it was kinda stupid to say ‘It’s me Robin’ two days later. But I wasn’t trying to play any games!” Her fingers began to twist and the sweat began sprouting on her forehead.

“I’m sorry. I’ll leave.” She spun on her heels. She was so embarrassed. The tears were already springing from her eyes. She wanted to run away and hide. She couldn’t work for Pinnacle anymore. She had to quit that job. She would go home and bury her head under her pillows and stay there until she died.

“Robin.” She couldn’t stop walking. She had to keep walking until she was out the door. She couldn’t bear anymore of his accusing looks. “Robin!”

She stopped and turned to him in shame.

“Why are you leaving?!”

“I…I need to go-”

“No you don’t-”

The sweat was streaming down her back now. And she saw the spots before her eyes. She needed air. She couldn’t breathe in here…

She blinked and he was suddenly there in his chair, right in front of her. How did that happen? “Come here, Robin. Give me your hand. Come on.” He took her hand when she just stood there weaving on her feet. He pulled her hand, urging her down to him until she finally flopped listlessly into his lap. She was blacking out, she couldn’t breathe, she was blacking out!

“Put your head down.” She didn’t understand his words until she felt the gentle pressure on the back of her neck urging her head down so that it was almost between her legs. Then she felt Jason’s fingers tracing small circles between her shoulder blades.

“It’s okay, you’re just hyperventilating. Relax.” He was saying. “You’re okay.” He continued rubbing her back until the black dots dancing before her eyes disappeared. After a few more minutes her breathing evened out and the tears stopped splashing from her eyes. She sat up and wiped her eyes with her hands and tried not to look at Jason or to think at all. He continued to rub her back with gentle fingertips.

She was sitting on Jason’s lap. She was too embarrassed to meet his eyes, too embarrassed to even get up off his lap. She felt like a total idiot. Not only had she gotten busted in a big fat lie, but she had also had a panic attack right in front of him! She closed her eyes and covered her face.

“Robin, it’s okay.” She was shaking her head. “Yes it is. I’m not angry. Come here.” He pulled her firmly against his chest until her head was buried against his neck. She didn’t move, in complete shock that she was so close to him, but also feeling a calmness take root. He put his arms around her and somehow that is exactly what she needed. She slowly stopped trembling and her tears stopped falling. She relaxed, breathing in the scent of his neck and his soap and shampoo.

It had taken a long time to calm her and when she did she fell into an exhausted sleep on his lap where he continued to hold her in his arms. He was a little afraid. He’d never seen a panic attack before; what she called a nervous condition, he saw it for what it truly was. His anger had completely vanished in light of her explanation. It made perfect sense when she explained it. It was her shyness that had prevented her from coming forward.

What did it mean that Robin had continued to seek him out after work hours? Jason finally admitted to himself that he had feelings for her. He had known for a long time. But his own fear of rejection made it difficult to accept the idea that maybe—just maybe, Robin Mathena felt the same way for him that he felt for her.

He placed his lips against her forehead and then allowed her curls to brush his cheek as he carefully rested his head there. He yawned and locked his fingers together securely around her body. After a moment he fell asleep himself.

***

Robin’s head popped up and she looked around. Jason’s hands tightened around her body and she looked at the sleeping man in alarm. His head was thrown back in the chair and he was snoring loudly. How she had ever slept through such a racket was testimony to how physically and mentally exhausted she was.

She tried to slip out of his grasp without waking him.

“Where are you going?”

She gave him a terrified look. “Uh…Jason! I think we’re missing class…”

He just chuckled, his hands remained locked around her body. “It’s okay. I can just get on the computer for my lessons.” She relaxed a little but found it strange the way his hands were around her body; it was the way she’d seen him holding Amberly on his lap and he had said that she was like a sister…so it seemed okay. She relaxed a bit more.

“I’m…really sorry about what happened-”

“I am so happy!” He interrupted.

“Happy?” She blinked at him.

“That I’m not the only one that apologizes. I’m always apologizing to you, Robin. Can we just…like…forget about it?”

She nodded quickly. She was good at putting unpleasant things behind her and just moving forward. And there was not anything that she wanted more, at this very moment, then to pretend that she had not just made a complete and total fool of herself in front of her client.

“I have to use the bathroom.” She said shyly.

He wanted to laugh. Of course she did. “Wait.” He unlocked his hands from her body and began wheeling them across the room. “I’ll drive you.”

She braced her hands on the arms of the chair even though he wasn’t going fast. He stopped at the bathroom door and she stepped down and stood up. That had actually been fun, and she’d never sat in any man’s lap; other than her Daddy’s. So it had also been somewhat intimate. She liked being close to his big chest and feeling his long hair brushing against her face. And the feel of his strong arms around her body made her feel protected and… loved. She looked at him and felt her chest tighten and her heart speed up. Did he really forgive her? Because she would never do anything like that again just for no other reason than that she never wanted to see that look on his face again. She had learned her lesson!

“Thanks.” She backed into the bathroom and softly closed the door. She put her hand on her chest and then touched her lips. Jason. The very word; his name, caused her to feel weak. I think…I’m falling for Jason, she admitted to herself. And she had almost ruined it with a stupid lie. She smiled. He liked her, too.

Robin used the toilet and agonized over her appearance as she washed her hands. All she could do was scrub the tears from her face with soap and water and using wet hands push back her springy curls. When she stepped from the bathroom she could hear soft music playing. Jason was at the computer—big surprise—and he grinned at her when she entered the room. Thank god he wasn’t scowling at her anymore! His big smile made her heartbeat quicken. How did people deal with feelings like this? Just looking at him sent her into near cardiac arrest!

“I pulled up a playlist; that one we listened to together on the computer the other night.” She blushed at the memory of Sweetheart in HC. She never wanted to think of it again.

“Yeah.”

He wheeled to her and took both of her hands. She tried not to look at him in surprise at the contact. “Hey, I liked Sweetheart. I still do. As a matter of fact, I was going to ask her to come to the party Friday.”

She looked away uncomfortable. “Sweetheart didn’t act as shy and awkward the way I do.”