Wheels of Steel, Book 1 (23 page)

“Dude! That video of you having that fake seizure…oh my god that was so cool! Are you going to put that mix on cd? I’d buy it Top!”

He passed her his student credit card. “That wasn’t a fake seizure.” She just stared at him in confusion as he wheeled away.

She watched him and the solemn look on his face.

“Are you planning to pay for my lunch every day?” She joked.

“Yep.”

Her face straightened. “Are you serious?”

He was almost at the table with his friends. “Why not?” The State paid him. It wasn’t any loss to him to add her food on. And besides, she probably could use the break.

“Well…I can’t do that-”

“It ain’t my money,” he said, and then he was there with his friends who greeted him with shouts and slapped hands and they talked over each other, joked and made witty observations about each other while she sat quietly next to him trying to be invisible as she ate her lunch.

Link wheeled away from his place at the table and moved over to her. “What’s up?”

“Hi.” She said, struggling to swallow.

“Why do you keep coming back?” He joked while winking at Jason. Jason was talking to someone but paying attention to every word they spoke.

Robin smiled and shrugged. “I guess so that I can get paid.”

“Oh, darn…I was hoping it was because you wanted to see me.”

She knew that he was only joking but she began to blush furiously, especially when the big blonde girl that looked sorta like a guy stared at her as if seeing her for the first time. She and Link exchanged brief looks and then he seemed intent on trying to ignore her.

“So what do you do for fun; when you’re not babysitting whiny cry babies like Top?” Jason absently gave him the finger.

Link leaned in and spoke quietly. “I only say things like that so that he can exercise that middle finger. We need to keep those hands of his working. Even though he had surgery his muscles can still tighten up in his hands.”

Robin glanced over at Jason’s hands and saw the thin pale lines at his wrist that indicated he’d either attempted suicide or had gotten surgery.

“He doesn’t tell much about himself, huh? Well hang with me and I’ll tell all of his secrets.”

Amberly stood and limped over to Top, barely interrupting his conversation as she suddenly sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck. Robin watched as his hand went easily around her waist as he continued talking. Amberly picked up his partially eaten chicken sandwich and took a small bite. She offered it to him and he took a bite. He paused and looked at her while he chewed.

“Thank you. Are you trying to get my attention?”

“Yes. Stop ignoring me.” She said playfully.

“Ai-ight.”

“What did you do this weekend?” She asked. And they started talking easily.

Robin looked away and saw that Link was watching her watch them.

“You never answered my question.”

“Which one?”

His blue eyes remained steadily on her. “What do you do for fun?”

“Oh. I guess I don’t have any hobbies or anything. I read a lot, well when I have the time.”

“Ah, do you have kids?”

She chuckled. “No.”

“Boyfriend?”

Robin shook her head and then met his eyes defiantly. “Do you have any kids? A girlfriend? And what do you do for fun?”

“Wow you’re nosey,” he joked. The comment made her laugh. She glanced at Jason and saw that he was looking at her. She wondered briefly if she shouldn’t be talking to people. Maybe she should just be watching him instead of talking.

“You should come out and watch me DJ sometime. I have a gig in a couple weeks and I’d love for your boy over there to come and join me.”

Jason gave him a surprised look.

“It’s a paying gig. We’ll split it right down the middle.”

Then everyone at the table began encouraging him and trying to find out when and where. Link told everyone that Omicron House was printing up flyers though an exact date hadn’t been set. A lot of people began coming over; almost thirty people were crowding around the table, nudging and invading Robin’s personal space.

Robin felt her heart begin to pound. It almost felt like it was slamming in her chest. She had to keep telling herself that these people were not looking at her, they were looking at Jason and Link and the other members of Wheels of Steel. She was invisible and they weren’t looking at her. And then her stomach began to flip and she worried that she would have an attack of irritable bowel.

A hand touched her wrist and she jumped.

Jason was looking at her. “Are you okay?” Amberly had moved back to her seat and was talking to the Butch girl. Jason was leaned in her direction.

“I’m okay.” She tried to give him a shaky smile but even she knew that it wasn’t very believable. He looked around suddenly; seeing things the way she saw them and then back to the look of panic on her face.

“Why don’t you go get some air? I’ll meet you in ten minutes.”

“But lunch isn’t over-”

“I’m done eating. Go. I’ll be in the hallway in front of the bathroom.” She didn’t say anything else, she would have just swallowed her unease but if he was urging her to go…she moved out of her seat and to the door, leaving her tray behind without a backwards look. Now that she was up the need to go to the restroom was urgent.

Jason stared at her as he tried to respond to his friends. Nervous…He thought he was beginning to understand just what she meant by that.

Robin headed straight for the restroom. Her watery bowels barely held. She wiped her sweating face feeling the twisting and knotting of her stomach fade as she relieved herself. When she felt that her legs were strong enough to stand she quickly flushed and washed her hands. Catching sight of herself in the mirror caused her to bend and splash cold water on her face. Why did she have to do this now?

How long had she been in here? Surely more than 10 minutes. She rushed to the hallway where Jason said he’d meet her but he wasn’t there. She ran back to the cafeteria, no longer noticing people watching her as she darted through the crowded halls. But Jason and his friends were gone.

Oh no! She chewed her lip and rubbed her hands together with its renewed sweat. She’d lost her patient. Shit shit shit…

She decided to head over to the last class of the day which was computers. But then she remembered that Jason went to the restroom after lunch. She knocked on the Men’s restroom.

“Jason?”

“Robin?” She heard him call back. Oh god, she was so relieved. She should just collapse right there on the floor.

“Yeah, I’m here. Do you need any help?”

“No. I’m almost done.”

When he came out of the bathroom he gave her a curious look. “What happened back there?”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath and thought about how to explain it. “I get…nervous when there are too many people around.”

“Nervous…”

“Yeah.”

“How did you work in a restaurant if you get nervous around crowds? Unless it’s like the worst restaurant in Cincinnati.”

“No, I worked the drive-thru window. One car load of people doesn’t bother me.” Not unless they were angry about a messed up order or something. But she made sure never to mess up orders so that she would never have confrontations like that. And for some reason the window that stood between them helped.

But if she looked out front and saw a line of people in front of the registers and they were looking at her expectantly; like she should be taking their orders, that was pretty hard. That is how she had learned to ignore people—to not always see what was right in front of her. Sometimes she would hide in the kitchen until she got another drive-thru customer. The people she worked with somewhat understood that she was anxious and they made things easy for her.

“What else makes you nervous, Robin?”

“Well…I get anxious if people get mad at me. And crowds. It’s hard for me to meet new people; I don’t say much. Just things like that, I guess.” She whispered.

He just stared at her.

“People…looking at me, makes me sort of uncomfortable.”

He sighed and moved his attention away from her. After a moment he spoke. “We better get to class.”

During computer class he couldn’t stop thinking about how hard it had been for him to transition from home schooling to the bustle of college life. His mother had wanted him to go to college as much as he wanted to go forth and get a taste of the real world. So she had found a college club that dealt with diversity and disabilities. It’s where he had met Amberly. She had taken him under her wing and had become the big sister that he’d never had. It still took him a long time not to look at people with suspicion. Then when Link returned to school after his accident, he’d come to the meeting with anger and remorse. It was Jason that had made him look at what he still had and not at what he had lost.

He glanced at Robin. Maybe that’s what she needed; someone to show her the way.

Once class was over, he waited for her to quietly put away his laptop. She seemed a little down. “Robin, I’m going to do that DJ gig with Link. You should come.”

She gave him a surprised look. “Really?” She’d never been to a college party before but didn’t think she’d be comfortable, but she was pleased that he had thought to ask her.

“I can’t. I’ll be working.”

She placed his book bag behind his chair and the laptop strap over her shoulder. Jason frowned.

“I thought you quit that second job?”

“I did. But I plan to add another shift after this one. Well after I recuperate from my last attempt at working two jobs. And it’s just going to be a half shift.” She was quick to explain in case he thought she’d be irresponsible again.

“What hours will you want to work?”

“I’m hoping between seven and eleven.” It would give her time to get home, eat, freshen up before the next job. And she’d still be able to get home to sleep through the night.

“We’ll see what happens,” he said and then changed the subject not giving her an opportunity to say no. “I was going to ask you a question.” She followed him out of the building. “About your eyes.”

“My eyes?” She touched her face self- consciously. “What about them?”

“They’re very…unique. You don’t see many black girls with eyes that color.”

“Hazel eyes on black girls aren’t all that uncommon.”

“But yours aren’t hazel. They’re green and grey. There’s no brown in them.”

“Well, I guess. My Mom has grey eyes.”

“Is she white?”

“No. Both of my parents are black.” She got to the car and unlocked it for him. He pulled himself up into a standing position all on his own and maneuvered himself into the passenger seat while she folded his chair and placed it into the trunk.

When she was buckled in the driver’s seat he continued the conversation. “Where did those green eyes come from then?”

“Vegetables.”

He looked at her confused.

“Because I eat a lot of vegetables,” she said grinning. “Remember what Erykah Badu said? My eyes are green…cuz I eat a lot of vegetables. It don’t have nothing to do with your new friend.” She sang.

Jason froze. “Sing that again.”

“What? No!” She laughed and pulled out of the parking space.

He could not believe how beautiful her voice had sounded. Robin could sing! Robin was a natural born singer and he could tell just from that one verse!

“Robin, please!” He said urgently.

“Jason…I don’t sing. And plus…remember what I said about being nervous? Singing in front of people is really top on that list.”

“My god…” He said softly. He was staring at her intently. “Why do you do that?”

“What do you mean?” Her voice and expression became suddenly serious.

He just stared at her. “Why do you give other people so much power over you?”