Whatever It Takes (23 page)

“That’s not going to kill any fish, is it?” I asked as an afterthought.

Gavin laughed and hugged me tighter.  “I don’t think so.”

Օ

Gavin and I took our seats in the third row for the wedding ceremony.   We were amongst his family, all of us excited and eager for this to start and we chatted animatedly while we waited.  I turned to face Gavin and appreciated how good he looked once again, having fawned all over him in the room upstairs.  He wore a light grey suit with a white shirt and lavender tie.  His hair was combed back neatly and his face was freshly shaven and smooth.  He looked amazing.

“You look so handsome,” I told him again for the third time.

He raked his eyes over me and complimented my attire as well, saying I looked sexier than ever.  I was wearing a plum-colored gown that had two straps of silver stones that clasped behind my neck.  It was chiffon over silk, pleated, with a sash tie around the waist and an asymmetrical hemline that fell just below my knees.

“I especially love those shoes,” he added, eyeing my feet.  I was wearing the shoes he had given to me as a wedding present, the silver d’orsay Manolo’s.  I loved them too, and while I wanted to take care of them and make them last forever, I wore them on special occasions, getting as much use out of the seven hundred dollars he spent on them as I could. 

A string quartet started to play and we turned our attention down the aisle to watch Gavin’s aunt be escorted to her seat by Mattie.  The groom’s parents followed.  Then the four bridesmaids, three of them other cousins, the fourth Kaitlyn’s best friend and maid of honor.  They all looked lovely in their pale pink strapless gowns. 

Then the bridal march started and we all stood to watch Uncle Dom walk his daughter down the aisle.  Kaitlyn looked gorgeous and I think all of her brothers plus Gavin got a little teary-eyed seeing the baby of the family being given away.

When it came time for the vows, I squeezed Gavin’s hand and thought back to our own wedding day.  As nervous as I was, I made my promises to Gavin in a strong and steady voice, knowing how much they meant and how true they were.  Gavin squeezed back and when Kaitlyn’s fiancee started to recite the words, Gavin leaned in my ear and whispered what he had said to me five years ago.

“I, Jeremy Banks.”

“
I, Gavin Michael Fitzgerald.”

“Take thee, Kaitlyn.”

“Take you, Emma Michelle Harrison.”

“To be my lawfully, wedded wife.”

“To be my wife.”

“To have and to hold, from this day forward.”

“To have and to hold.”

“For better or worse.”

“In good times and in bad.”

“For richer or poorer.”

“
For richer or poorer.”

“In sickness and health.”

“In sickness and health.”

“Until death do us part.”

“
For as long as we both shall live.”

I could do nothing but sit still quietly and watch while the tears streamed down my face.  Gavin handed me his handkerchief and I dabbed at my eyes with one hand and squeezed the hell out of his with my other. 

When the minister finally announced man and wife, everyone stood and cheered and I finally was able to fling myself into Gavin’s arms and kiss him.  We missed the recession back down the aisle, we were so wrapped up in one another.

During dinner service, the newly Mrs. Kaitlyn Banks and her husband greeted us. 

“Emma, I’m so glad I finally have a chance to see you!” she exclaimed and hugged me.  “It’s been so crazy I’ve haven’t had a chance to talk to you this whole weekend.”

“It’s fine,” I told her, hugging her back tightly.  “Congratulations.  You look amazing.  The ceremony was beautiful.”

“Was it?” she asked.  “I had always hoped to have a wedding as beautiful as yours and Gavin’s.”

“It was incredible,” I insisted.

She hugged me again and spoke into my ear.  “I only hope Jeremy and I will be as happy as you guys are.”

I stifled even more tears.  “You will be,” I promised.  “It won’t always be perfect, but marriage is wonderful.  You’ll see.”

We had a blast at the reception, all of us drinking a little too much and dancing so much I knew we’d all be sore in the morning.  During a break from the dancefloor, I was seated on Gavin’s lap at our table, people-watching while Gavin talked with Kevin.  The music turned to something slow and I spotted Uncle Dom across the room.  I pecked Gavin’s cheek and told him I’d be right back and made my way over to his uncle.

“May I have this dance?” I asked him when I reached his table.

“Of course, darlin,” he smiled and led me to the floor where he started to twirl us around to
What a Wonderful World.

“You look gorgeous,” he complimented.  “You two seem to be gettin on alright today.”

“We are,” I told him.  “We’re going to work this out, Uncle Dom.  Gavin’s trying very hard to earn my forgiveness but I think he’s also going to need yours.”

“I taught him better than that,” he said gruffly.  “Him and my boys.  At least I thought I did.”

“You did a fine job raising your sons and helping to bring up Gavin,” I insisted.  “What he did was no reflection on you, his mother, or anyone else.  This was his doing and he’ll take responsibility for it and make it right.  I know he will.”

“He’s a damn lucky son of a bitch, I’ll give him that,” Uncle Dom sighed.  “I’ll make things right with him before yeh’s leave, for your sake, darlin.”

“Thank you.” 

The song ended and I kissed his cheek.  A new song began, one that I was so familiar with and that gave me goosebumps every time I heard it.
Thank You for Loving Me
by Bon Jovi.  Mine and Gavin’s wedding song. 

Gavin tapped on his uncle’s shoulder and asked permission to step in.  Uncle Dom handed me over but grabbed Gavin’s wrist giving him a hard stare.  They looked at each other stoically for a moment and then Uncle Dom pulled him into a quick hug.  My husband’s face showed relief and then they released each other, his uncle leaving us to dance to our song.

Gavin gathered me to him by my waist, and held my hand in his over his heart, and swayed us to the music. 

“Thank you for whatever you said to him,” he murmured in my ear.

“You’re welcome.”                                                 

He spun us around quite gracefully, for just like everything else, my husband was good at dancing. 

When the song neared the end he put his lips back to my ear and sang the last lines of the chorus to me.  When it was over, he dipped me low, and in front of the entire dance floor, he kissed me long and so passionately we earned a few cheers from the crowd. 

19

Gavin

“We’re home, baby.  Wake up.” 

During the drive home late Sunday afternoon Emma had sat as close to me as she could, leaning over the center console of the car to hook her arm through mine and rest her head on my shoulder. She dozed off about an hour away from home and I let her sleep against me, placing careful kisses on her head whenever I got the chance.  Throughout the drive I had a nice talk with God, thanking him for helping Emma and me to get to where we were and promising that I would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage again.  I was being given a second chance at our happy life together and there was no way in hell I’d ever fuck that up again.

We were now back in our garage at home and I was rousing my sleeping wife from her nap.

She sat up in her seat and stretched before getting out of the car. She helped me retrieve our bags from the trunk and we went inside the house, heading straight to the bedroom to deposit our luggage on the bed.  While I started to unpack, Emma sat down seeming still half asleep.

“My head is still fuzzy.  I need coffee,” she yawned.

“Go make some,” I told her with a kiss to her temple.  “I’ll take care of unpacking.”

While I gladly sorted through clothes the smell of coffee filled the house and I smiled, thinking about how this was the most normal I’ve felt at home in the past two months.

Emma

I made my way into the kitchen and then plugged in the quick one-cup coffee maker.  While I waited for it to heat up, I hit the play button on our answering machine and listened to the few messages we had.  I popped a french vanilla pod into the machine and hit the button for it to brew and was startled by a knock at the door.  Who the hell could that be?

I went to the front door, turned the locks, and opened it.  And then my blood boiled.

Lisa was standing on our front stoop.

My heart started thudding and my limbs went shaky with the ire-fueled adrenaline coursing through me.  All sorts of images went through my head, from slamming the door in her face to throwing her to the ground and beating her to a bloody pulp.  She just stood there staring at me, her black hair pulled back in a twist and her face blank.  I sized her up.  This was the first time I'd gotten a good look at her.  Her features were striking, pointy cheekbones with a matching nose.  She did not look good though, quite like shit actually.  The makeup she wore was smudged and she had bags under her eyes.  She was taller than me, but skinny.  Too skinny.  I could definitely take her.

“How dare you show up at my house?” I finally seethed.  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I need to see Gavin, is he here?” She leaned her head to peer into the house over my shoulder.  I stepped to the side to block her view and then moved out of the doorway and closed the door.

“You need to leave,” I stated firmly.  “Right now.”

“I need to see Gavin,” she repeated.

“Lisa, I understand that you are hurting.  But I have chosen to forgive Gavin and he loves me, Lisa.  Me, not you.  We are married and I need you to respect that and leave us alone.  It was wrong of Gavin to let you believe he still had feelings for you, but you need to come to terms with the fact that he doesn’t and never will.  We are trying to get on with our lives, I suggest you do the same.”

“Gavin loves me!” she shouted.

“My husband doesn’t give a damn about you,” I seethed, now angrier and losing my patience.  “Now get the hell out of here and leave us alone.  He’s filing a restraining order against you tomorrow and also calling your job to file a complaint.  Gavin wants nothing to do with you, do you understand?”

The door opened behind me and Gavin cursed when he saw who I was talking to.  He pulled me to stand behind him and then he was the one in Lisa’s face.

“Get the fuck out of here,” he snarled. 

“No, Gavin, please,” she begged, actually dropping to her knees at his feet.  “I know you love me.  You wouldn’t have made love to me that night in the hotel if you didn’t.  I need you, Gavin.  Please.”

Gavin stepped back from her, disgust washing over his face.  I stared at the scene in front of me and the panic started to set in.  I didn’t want to stay here and watch her throw herself at my husband’s feet and talk about making love to him.  My stomach rolled and I turned to go back inside.  My hand was on the doorknob when I suddenly had a flashback to an argument Gavin and I had right before our wedding.  When he told me he needed to go away for work for ten days.

“And I don’t give a damn if you want to run, if you want out.  I’m not going to let you!  I’m going to stay!  I’m going to fight for us, even if I’m fighting by myself!”

I wasn’t going to run.  I wasn’t going to leave my husband to fight for us by himself.  We were going to fight for us together.

I turned back around and saw that Gavin was trying to pull Lisa off her knees telling her over and over to leave.  I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked at me straightening up.  I moved to stand in front of him and crouched down to meet Lisa eye-to-eye.

“Lisa,” I said solidly, “you need to get up.” 

She rose to her feet then and tried to square her jaw in defiance but her eyes showed her fear and desperation.

“I understand your pain,” I told her and she was surprised by my words.  She had been waiting for me to scream and yell and threaten.  I wasn’t going to do that.  I was going to do something that was going to shock the hell out of her, Gavin, and myself.  I was going to forgive her.

“You made the decision to end your relationship with Gavin nine years ago.  And you’re damn right that it was a mistake because he is a great guy.  But you made the decision and you’re going to have to live with it now because you aren’t getting him back.  I love him and he loves me,
me,
not you, and I don’t care how many phone calls you make, how much begging, pleading, and crying you do, I will never give him up.  Because I forgive him.  And you know what?  I forgive you too, Lisa.

Let go.

“But it’s time for you to move on now.  You need to figure out what else you need to be happy because the one thing you want right now, you will never, and I mean never, have.  Do you understand me?”

Gavin put his hands on my shoulders from behind me and we both stared at her waiting for a response.