What to expect when you're expecting (104 page)

Get some air. It’s hard to get sleepy when you’re stuffy, especially when you’re
heating for two. So open a window in all but the coldest or hottest weather (when a fan or air-conditioning can help circulate the air). And don’t sleep with the covers over your head. This will decrease the oxygen and increase the carbon dioxide you breathe in, which can cause headaches.

Ask before you pop. While there are sleep aids that are safe for occasional pregnancy use, don’t take any sleep aid (prescription, over-the-counter, or herbal) unless it’s been prescribed by your practitioner. If your practitioner has recommended that you take a magnesium supplement (or a calcium-magnesium supplement) to combat constipation or leg cramps, it makes sense to take it before bed because magnesium has natural relaxing powers.

Smell your way to sleep. A lavender-scented pillow that you tuck into bed with you or a dried lavender sachet slipped between the pillowcase and pillow can help relax you and bring on sleep faster.

Save your bed for sleep (and sex). Don’t invite activities you associate with being wide awake and possibly stressed (answering office e-mails on your laptop, paying bills) into your bed. Take care of business in other parts of your home, and reserve your bedroom for its more traditional purposes.

Go to bed when you’re tired. Climbing into bed before you’re sleepy is a recipe for a restless night. Putting off your bedtime may, paradoxically, help you sleep better. But don’t wait until you’re overtired and less able to settle down.

Avoid clock-watching. Judge whether you’re getting enough sleep by how you feel, not by how many hours you stay in bed. Keep in mind that many people who believe they have sleep problems actually get more sleep than they think—and as much as they need. You’re getting enough rest if you’re not chronically tired (beyond the normal fatigue of pregnancy). And speaking of clocks, if the sight of that glowing dial (and the hours ticking by) stresses you out, turn it so you can’t see it.

Don’t just lie there. When sleep’s eluding you—and you’ve run out of sheep to count—get up and do something relaxing (read, watch TV) until you feel sleepy.

Don’t lose sleep over losing sleep. Stressing about your lack of shut-eye will only make it harder to grab any. In fact, sometimes just letting go of that “will I ever fall asleep?” worry is all it
takes to drop off into dreamland.

Save Time (in a Capsule)

Time flies when you’re having babies—and raising them. Before it has a chance to fly away, preserve your pregnancy for posterity by making a time capsule. Years from now, your baby (who won’t be a baby anymore) will get a kick out of seeing the way things were back in the day, before he or she arrived on the scene. Just take a box (or a capsule) and put in pictures of you (pregnant, of course), your spouse, any pets, and your house and car. Add ultrasound pictures, a menu from the restaurant that always delivers your cravings to the door, a current magazine and newspaper—and any other souvenirs of this expectant era you’d like to hold on to. No need to bury it—just seal it and put it away (don’t forget where next time you move) until your baby’s old enough to appreciate it.

“My belly button used to be a perfect ‘innie.’ Now it’s sticking all the way out. Will it stay that way even after I deliver?”

Has your innie been outed? Is it poking straight through your clothes these days? Taking on a life of its own? Don’t worry. There’s nothing novel about navels that pop during pregnancy. Just about every belly button does at some point. As the swelling uterus pushes forward, even the deepest “innie” is sure to pop like a timer on a turkey (except, on most women, the navel “pops” well before baby’s “done”). Your belly button should revert back to its regular position a few months after delivery, though it may bear the mommy mark: that stretched-out, lived-in look. Until then, you can look at the bright side of your protruding navel: It gives you a chance to clean out all the lint that’s accumulated there since you were a kid. If you find that the outie look doesn’t quite work with the clingy fashion statement you’re trying to make, consider taping it down (you can use a Band-Aid, as long as it doesn’t irritate, or specially designed belly button tape). But in the meantime, remember, it’s just one more pregnancy badge of honor to wear proudly.

“Some days the baby is kicking all the time; other days he seems very quiet. Is this normal?”

Fetuses are only human. Just like us, they have “up” days, when they feel like kicking up their heels (and elbows and knees), and “down” days, when they’d rather lie back and take it easy. Most often, their activity is related to what you’ve been doing. Like babies out of the womb, fetuses are lulled by rocking. So when you’re on the go all day, your baby is likely to be pacified by the rhythm of your routine, and you’re likely not to notice much kicking—partly because baby’s slowed down, partly because you’re so busy. As soon as you slow down or relax, he or she is bound to start acting up (a pattern babies, unfortunately, tend to continue even after they’re born). That’s why you’re more apt to feel fetal movement in bed at night or when you’re resting during the day. Activity may also increase after you’ve had a meal or snack, perhaps in reaction to the surge of sugar in your blood. You may also notice increased fetal activity when you’re excited or nervous—about to give a presentation, for example—possibly because the baby is stimulated by your adrenaline response.

Babies are actually most active between weeks 24 and 28, when they’re small enough to belly dance, somersault, kickbox, and do a full aerobic step class in their roomy uterine home. But their movements are erratic and usually brief, so they aren’t always felt by a busy mother-to-be, even though they are visible on ultrasound. Fetal activity usually becomes more organized and consistent, with more clearly defined periods of rest and activity, between weeks 28 and 32. It’s definitely felt later and less emphatically when there’s an anterior placenta getting in the way (see
page 246
).

Don’t be tempted to compare baby movement notes with other pregnant women. Each fetus, like each newborn, has an individual pattern of activity and development. Some seem always active; others mostly quiet. The activity of some fetuses is so regular their moms could set their watches by it; in others there’s
no discernible activity pattern at all. As long as there is no radical slowdown or cessation of activity, all variations are normal.