What to Expect the Toddler Years (36 page)
Read What to Expect the Toddler Years Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
HAPTER
F
OUR
The Sixteenth Month
W
HAT YOUR TODDLER MAY BE DOING NOW
By the end of this month,
*
your toddler
. . . should be able to (see Note):
imitate activities
scribble (by 16¼ months)
Note:
If your toddler has not reached these milestones, consult the doctor or nurse-practitioner. This rate of development may well be normal for your child (some children are late bloomers), but it needs to be evaluated. Also check with the doctor if your toddler seems out-of-control, uncommunicative, overly passive, highly negative, doesn’t smile, makes few or no sounds, doesn’t seem to hear well, is perpetually irritable, or demands constant attention. (But remember, the one-year-old who was born prematurely often lags behind others of the same chronological age. This developmental gap progressively narrows and generally disappears entirely around age two.)
. . . will probably be able to:
say 3 words
use an object in imitation
. . . may possibly be able to:
say 6 words
run
. . . may even be able to:
kick a ball forward
brush teeth, with help
HAT YOU MAY BE WONDERING ABOUT
F
EAR OF DOGS
“Whenever my toddler sees a dog—even if it’s a block away, he clings to me in terror. It’s getting so we can’t take a walk anymore.”
Many toddlers are a bit cautious around dogs and that’s probably a good thing. When children are totally fearless, the consequences can be serious for little fingers and faces, as well as for fluffy tails and floppy ears. But while a little fear can go a long way in keeping your child safe from neighborhood canines (and vice versa) a lot of fear can, in addition to hampering your freedom to walk down the street, deprive him of the many benefits of having four-footed friends.
You needn’t aim to eliminate your toddler’s fear entirely but only to turn it from an irrational to a rational fear—one that allows him to approach dogs with sensible caution, rather than senseless terror.
Start by spending some time acclimating your toddler to completely non-threatening canines. Cuddly toy dogs he can pet and hug; battery-operated dogs that bark and prance around; picture book dogs of all sizes and breeds. Read stories that center on friendships between children and dogs, and that depict dogs as playmates, as helpers, as heroes. Once your toddler is desensitized to inanimate dogs, try him out on the flesh-and-fur variety. Check with friends, neighbors, and relatives and try to locate an animal who is good tempered (older dogs and dogs who have been spayed or fixed are usually more mellow than puppies), friendly (but not profusely so, since jumping and slobbering can frighten a toddler as much as barking and biting), and accustomed to children (some dogs are as wary of young children as young children are of them). Secure a snapshot of this dream dog before the face-to-snout introduction takes place, show it to your toddler and talk about the dog with him. Explain that a dog’s barking is its way of talking, that wagging its tail is its way of showing it’s happy, and that sometimes a dog bumps people with its tail, but it doesn’t mean to hurt anyone.
Finally, arrange the actual meeting. Initially, keep the two principals at a distance from each other—your toddler in your arms, the dog held securely by its master. Wave to the dog, talk to it and about it by name, and encourage your child to do the same. If he appears nervous, try to reassure him. Take him out of the room only if he becomes truly upset. If he doesn’t seem ready to make contact during the first visit, schedule these not-too-close encounters until he warms up. As his comfort level increases, decrease the distance between him and the dog until he’s finally near enough to touch it (but keep him in your arms at first to give him a sense of security and a height advantage). Don’t force him, or even urge him, to pet the dog at this point; instead, pet the dog yourself. Say, “See, I’m petting the nice doggy. She’s so soft. Do you want to pet the doggy, too?” If he shows interest, have him pet the dog as you hold his hand and show him how to pet gently. If he refuses, let him know, “That’s okay, you don’t have to pet the doggy.” Give him an opportunity to change his mind each time you visit with the dog—and keep up the visits until he finally summons the courage to reach out and pet his new friend.
Allowed to progress through this nonpressured “desensitization” process at his own pace, your toddler should
overcome his fear of dogs eventually—and perhaps even become a dog lover.
PET PRESCRIPTIONS
Whether or not you have a pet at home, toddlers should be pet-proofed as early on as possible. Teach your toddler the following rules for safety’s sake:
Let sleeping (and eating) dogs (and cats) lie. Don’t touch or go near them when they’re napping or dining. And never touch their food; curious fingers can easily be perceived as a threat—retaliation is likely even in a mellow animal.
Never poke an animal’s eyes, pull his tail, or tug on its ears. Always pet gently under the chin rather than on top of the head—which implies domination. (Show your toddler how to do this.)
Don’t tease an animal. Don’t offer a bone and then withdraw it, block its way to the water bowl, pretend you are going to hit it, and so on.
Stay away from dogs, cats, squirrels, raccoons, or other animals you don’t know.
Stay away from animals that are sick or behaving strangely. This will have to be your call for now. The signs of rabies in an animal include one or more of the following: limping or staggering (because of paralysis of the hind legs); frothing or foaming at the mouth (due to paralysis of the throat and stiffness of the jaw); aggressive behavior (attacking people, other animals, even objects); behavior changes (a nocturnal animal may come out during the day, a diurnal one at night); dis-orientation and lack of inhibition. Some infected animals, however, may not have any noticeable symptoms.
Stay away from dogs or cats when they’re fighting.
Stay away from a new mother dog or cat who is with her babies; she will fight to protect her offspring.
Never go near any animal without a grown-up around.
Always move slowly when approaching an animal. Don’t run toward or ride a riding toy up to an animal; don’t make sudden movements or jump around in front of it. (Cats are likely to run from a young child at play, but because toddlers can’t necessarily differentiate between dogs and cats—and just to be on the safe side—this rule should apply to both species.)
If a dog growls or is angry, don’t run away (the dog might give chase); instead, roll up into a little ball on the ground and cover your face with your arms.
Never put your face near a dog’s face. (Because toddlers are small, they are most likely to be bitten in danger areas—face, head, and neck.) The same goes for cats. (Since a feline’s claws can do a lot of harm to tender young skin, too.)
