What to Expect the First Year (76 page)

It's chow time, baby! While everyone agrees that the perfect first liquid for baby is mother's milk, there's no consensus on the perfect first solid. Should it be whole-grain oatmeal or brown rice cereal? Perhaps it's best to start with veggies. Or maybe fruit is the way to go at first. Something obvious (like sweet potatoes) or something less conventional (like avocado)? Though there's no one right answer, there are some that are better than others, so it's always best to ask the doctor to recommend a first food.

No matter what's on the menu, the texture of your baby's very first spoonfed solids should be super smooth and practically dripping off the spoon (strained, pureed, or finely mashed foods thinned with breast milk or formula as needed). As your tiny gourmand becomes a more experienced eater, gradually reduce the liquid you add, and thicken and then slightly chunk up the texture. Here are some good first food choices:

Cereal.
If you start with baby cereal, pick a single-grain, iron-enriched whole-grain variety, like brown rice, whole-grain oat, or whole-grain barley. To prepare, mix a small amount of baby cereal with formula, breast milk, or even water to create a creamy “soup.” Don't sweeten the taste by adding things like mashed bananas, applesauce, or juice—first, because it's best to introduce only one food at a time, and second, because it's better for baby to acquire a taste for plain before you sweeten the cereal pot.

Vegetables.
Veggies are tops in nutrition and unlikely to trigger allergies. Start with milder yellow or orange options such as sweet potatoes, squash, and carrots before moving on to the green team, like peas and green beans, which have slightly stronger flavors. If your baby rejects what you've got, try again tomorrow and the next day and the next. Some babies need to be introduced to a new food four or five (or more) times before they'll accept it, so perseverance is key.

Fruit.
Delicious, digestible first fruits include finely mashed bananas or baby applesauce, peaches, or pears—how (naturally) sweet it is. For something completely different, and completely baby-friendly, start with smoothed-down mashed or pureed ripe avocado—it's creamy, yummy, and loaded with healthy fats.

Once your baby is lapping up those first foods, you can expand the menu. But do it slowly, keeping these pointers in mind:

Stay solo … and go slow.
Most doctors recommend a one-at-a-time policy when introducing new foods. So unless your baby's doctor has suggested a different course for bringing on different courses, serve up new foods alone—or in combo with other foods that have already tested well. Offer a new menu item for 3 to 5 days before you bring on another—that way, if your little one shows signs of an allergy or sensitivity (excessive gassiness, diarrhea or mucus in the stool, vomiting, a rough rash on the face, particularly around the mouth, a runny nose and/or watery eyes or wheezing that doesn't seem to be associated with a cold, unusual night wakefulness or daytime crankiness), you'll be able to figure out which food triggered it. No adverse reaction? Then you can keep the item on the menu and move on to the next new food.

If you think your baby may be sensitive to something you've served, wait about a week before trying the food again (though if the reaction was severe, check with the doctor before ever serving that food again). If you get a similar reaction two or three times in a row, you can probably conclude there's a sensitivity. Eliminate that food from baby's diet for several months, then try it again when your pediatrician gives the green light. If your baby seems to react to almost every new food you offer, or there's a history of allergies in your family, check in with your doctor.

Keep food choices simple … and separate.
Ready to serve up a combo
platter? Go ahead—but keep the selections separate at first, so baby gets to sample each flavor on its own (mush the peas and carrots together and your little one may never know the joy of just plain peas). After single foods have been savored, feel free to mix things up. Create your own yummy melange with favorite flavors, or try packaged combos in jars or pouches, but be sure to read the labels to screen for ingredients your baby isn't ready for (like added sugar or salt).

Check the no-serve list.
While doctors used to recommend waiting on certain foods until after the first birthday to reduce the risk of allergies, there is some evidence that introducing highly allergenic foods early may actually prevent food allergies. Check with your baby's pediatrician for a list of green-light and red-light foods. Many doctors give the go-ahead on wheat, eggs, chocolate, citrus fruits, tomatoes, strawberries, and even almond or peanut butter (smooth varieties) during the first year, while others say to hold off on some—or even all. Definitely off the menu this year are unsafe foods like honey (see
box
), foods that can be choking hazards, like nuts, chunky nut butters, and raisins (
click here
), and cow's milk (
click here
).

“My baby won't go to sleep without my nursing her—and then she still gets up twice a night and won't go back to sleep without more feeds or rocking. Will we ever get any sleep?”

Doing the zombie shuffle from your bed to your baby's crib and back again night after night can get old fast. But here's the thing: It's not the night waking that's the problem. Even the best snoozers (those who sleep through the night) actually wake up several times during the night—everyone does. But a lifetime of good sleep for your baby will depend on her learning how to fall asleep and fall back to sleep solo—on her own, unassisted by you. If you're ready to renounce your position as your baby's personal sandman and your baby's ready (even if she doesn't know it yet) to give up night feeds and a helping hand getting back to sleep, then this is a good time to start sleep teaching—so you and baby can hang up those midnight calls and dial in a good night's sleep. (On the other hand, if you'd like to continue answering baby's calls—or you're just plain opposed to sleep teaching on principle—there's no need to stop.
Click here
for more.)

Before you begin sleep teaching (aka sleep training), you'll need to take a close look at baby's sleep habits, including whether she's napping too much or too little during the day (
click here
). Another important first step will be weaning baby off middle-of-the-night feedings (
click here
). And if baby's been falling asleep at the breast or bottle, establish a bedtime routine (
click here
) that puts the bedtime feeding before the bath and other rituals and well before when she actually needs to fall asleep. That way, you'll be able to put her in the crib awake, which will help her begin the process of learning how to fall asleep on her own instead of relying on her current sleep crutch, feeding.

Sleep teaching will, unfortunately, involve some tears (likely on both sides of the crib) and a certain amount of tough love. But the truth is, for those parents desperate and determined to get that good night's sleep sooner rather than later, letting an older (say, 5- or 6-month-old) baby cry it out—widely known in social media circles as CIO—almost always works. Here's why: By 6 months babies are wise to the fact that crying often results in being picked up, rocked, fed, or if they're really lucky, all three—pretty good motivation to keep on wailing. But once they get the message that mom and dad are not buying what they're selling, most will give up the crying game, usually within 3 or 4 nights.

If you feel comfortable trying the crying-it-out method on your baby (and not everyone does—so don't feel obligated to try sleep training if it doesn't feel right for you and your baby), there are two things you should know about it: First, it's not as harsh as it sounds—and you can (and most definitely should) modify the amount of crying you let your baby do to fit your comfort level. Some parents are okay letting baby cry for a set period of time, while other parents will feel more comfortable without prescribed crying times and will prefer to return to baby for a reassuring rub based on gut, not the clock.

Second, the crying-it-out approach is definitely harder on you than it is on your baby. Remember this (especially as you're sitting outside her door, thinking you're the worst parent in the world): A few minutes (or even more than a few minutes) of whimpering, fussing, or even crying to self-soothe won't hurt her in the short or long term—and it definitely won't scar her for life. And
ultimately—if you can stand it—you're doing her a favor by helping her learn to fall asleep (and fall back to sleep) on her own, a life skill she'll need her entire life.

Up to sleep training? Here's what you do:

• Watch for those snooze clues. Eye rubbing or a clockwork case of the crankies, for instance, will help clue you in to when your baby is feeling tired. Anticipating your baby's natural sleepy times at both naptime and bedtime will allow you to get your baby into sleep mode before she gets overtired. Being aware of those sleep cues is a crucial step in this process, since overtired babies—ones who skip naps altogether, just catch brief catnaps, or don't get enough sleep at night—have a harder time settling down for daily naps and when it's time to go to bed at night. And, they are more likely to sleep fitfully and wake in the wee hours—undermining your sleep training efforts.

• Initiate the naptime/bedtime routine. At bedtime have a calm and quiet (approximately) 30- to 45-minute routine that includes a warm bath, massage, and final feeding before you put your baby down in her crib (
click here
). While you shouldn't go through the same 30-minute routine at naptime, some sort of abridged version (a book, a lullaby, and a sweet cuddle or a little massage, for instance) during the day will help signal to your little one that it's naptime—and time to sleep. The most important thing to remember about these pre-sleep routines? Be consistent (and persistent) about it.

• Choose the right sleep location. Lay baby down in her crib or another setting that's conducive to a long sleep. At night the crib is the most obvious place for sleep, but get into the habit of putting her in the crib (or a pack-and-play) for daytime naps as well. There are plenty of reasons why your baby shouldn't get into the habit of sleeping in the stroller or swing for naps—and for sure not at bedtime.

• Put baby down awake. Remember, the whole point of sleep teaching is to get your little one to fall asleep on her own. If you rock or nurse her to sleep and then transfer her from your arms to the crib when she's already snoozing, the lesson's not learned. Not to mention that she'll associate falling asleep with being rocked or nursed—and those sleep association habits will be hard to break. The sleep teaching that you're doing will allow her to form new sleep associations—ones that give her the self-soothing tools that will enable her to fall asleep without your help. So … put her down awake, give her a gentle rub, then softly recite a consistent goodnight phrase and leave the room. That means leave the room immediately, without waiting for her to fall asleep.

• Cue the crying. You can expect some fussing and—you knew it was coming—crying. And here's where you make the decision to either stay tough and continue with the sleep teaching or choose a different path. If you want to sleep teach, there will be crying. There are different ways to respond to the crying (see below), but if you think there's no way you can stand by for even a moment while your precious one wails, then sleep teaching isn't for you (see
box
).