What to Expect the First Year (68 page)

• Create a diversion. If your baby starts to struggle the moment he spies the car seat, keep him busy while you're buckling him up. Start singing a favorite song or holding up a favorite toy for him to look at as you attempt the dreaded procedure. With any luck, he won't notice what you're doing until the dirty work's done.

• Make him comfortable. Harness straps should be tight enough to ensure safety (you shouldn't be able to fit more than two fingers between baby and harness), but not so tight that they pinch or dig into baby's skin. Straps that are too loose, in addition to being unsafe, may also allow your tiny passenger to slide around, which may add to his discomfort. And if he still doesn't fill up the whole car seat, use the insert that came with the seat (not an aftermarket one) specially designed for smaller babies to make him more comfortable and less apt to flop from side to side. Also check the temperature in the backseat to make sure it's not too hot or too cold, and that there are no vents blowing directly on him.

• Block the sun. Most babies dislike having the sun in their eyes—which means you may have it made if baby's in the shade. Pull up the canopy on the seat, or invest in car shades to block the sun.

• Drive him with distraction. Play soothing music, lively songs for you to sing along with, or baby's favorite nature sound app. Load up with car-safe toys that can't be dropped (attach them safely to the seat with links or use ones that attach with velcro) and rotate them often so baby won't get bored. Place a specially designed mirror on the seat back in front of him (the view from a rear-facing car seat would bore anyone to tears). Not only will the reflection entertain him, but if you position the mirror in the right way, you'll be able to see his adorable face in your rearview mirror.

• Let him know you're there. It's lonely in the back. So do a lot of talking and singing (yes, even over the crying). The sound of your voice may eventually calm him down.

• Try a little companionship. When two adults are in the car, one can buckle in next to baby and offer some live entertainment and reassurance. Older siblings can do the same (all children under the age of 13 should ride in the backseat, anyway).

• Give it time, but don't ever give in. Eventually, your baby will come to accept the car seat (though he may never actually enjoy the ride in it). But caving on the car seat—even once, even just for a short ride—is not only incredibly dangerous (it takes only a moment for a crash to occur and for an unrestrained child to be injured or killed) but a strategic error, since it opens the door to future wiggle room.

“My little one has taken to sucking her thumb. At first I was happy because it was helping her sleep better, but now I'm afraid it's going to become a habit I won't be able to break her of later.”

It isn't easy being a baby. Every time you latch on to something that gives you the comfort and satisfaction you're searching for, somebody wants to take it away from you.

Virtually all babies suck on their fingers at some time during the first year of life—many even begin their habit in the womb. That's not surprising. An infant's mouth is important not just for eating, but for exploration and pleasure, too (as you will soon discover, when everything baby picks up makes a beeline to her mouth). But even before a baby can reach for objects, she discovers her hands. The first time, the hands may make it to the mouth by random chance, but baby quickly learns that a mouthful of fingers feels really good. Soon she's mouthing on her fingers regularly. Eventually, many babies decide that the thumb is the most efficient and satisfying finger to suck on (maybe because it's the easiest one to isolate) and switch from finger mouthing to thumb sucking. Some stick with one or two fingers, others prefer a whole fist (particularly while teething) … or even a two-fisted approach.

At first you may think the habit is cute, or even be grateful that your baby has found a way to pacify herself without your help. But then you start to wonder, and maybe worry—is this a habit that'll be hard to break? Or one that will lead to the orthodontist's office?

Well, stop worrying and start letting your baby feast on those fingers. There is no evidence that thumb sucking—if it stops by age 5—does damage to the alignment of permanent teeth. And nearly 80 percent of kids give up the thumb by age 5 (95 percent by age 6), usually on their own. Those who use it to help themselves get off to sleep or to comfort themselves in times of stress hang on to the habit longer than those who are just in it for the oral gratification.

In the meantime, let your baby suck away. Be sure, however, that if she's breastfed, she isn't sucking her thumb to compensate for suckling she isn't getting at the breast. If she seems to want to nurse a little longer at each feeding, let her. And if thumb sucking is keeping her from using her hands for other explorations, occasionally remove her finger from its sucking station long enough to play a finger or hand game (This Little Piggy, pat-a-cake, or eyes-nose-mouth, for instance) or to help her shake a rattle.

“Everybody admires my chubby little baby. But I'm a little concerned that she's getting too fat. She's so round, she can hardly move.”

With dimples on her knees and her elbows, a belly to rival any Buddha's, an extra chin to chuck, and an endearing amount of pinchable flesh on her cheeks, she's the picture of baby cuteness from head to chubby toes. Yet is the plump baby also the picture of health? Or is she on her way to becoming a fat child … and an obese adult?

It's a good question—and one that's being studied a lot these days. Research already shows that babies who put on weight speedily in their first 6 months may be at an increased risk of obesity as early as age 3. But even without the benefit of research, there are clearly disadvantages to extreme chubbiness early on. The baby who is too plump to budge may become the victim of a vicious cycle of inactivity and overweight. The less she moves, the chunkier she gets; the chunkier she gets, the less she can move. Her inability to move makes her frustrated and fussy, which may lead her parents to overfeed her to keep her happy. If she stays overweight through age 4, the odds that she will be an overweight adult increase greatly.

But—and this is a big but (and an adorable dimpled butt)—before you jump to any conclusions, be sure she is actually overweight and not rounded just right. Since babies haven't developed much muscle yet, even a slim one will sport significant padding—and that's as it should be. For a more accurate assessment, take a look at your baby's weight in relation to her length (see the charts,
here
). If both are moving up quickly but on a similar curve, you probably just have a bigger-than average baby on your hands. If her weight seems to be moving up faster than her length, check with the doctor. She may be picking up too many pounds too quickly.

Should chubby babies go on a diet? Absolutely not. At this age she doesn't need to lose weight but rather to slow down the rate of gain, if she's off the charts. As she grows taller she will slim down—something most little ones do anyway, thanks to their increased activity (think nonstop running around).

Here's how to make sure your baby stays healthy—and at a healthy bottom line—throughout the first year:

• Let appetite rule. Babies are born knowing how to regulate their appetites: They eat when they're hungry, stop when they're full. But that system can be easily disrupted by parental prodding to take those last few ounces of formula, to finish those last few bites of cereal. So let your little one call the shots—and call it quits—when it comes to feedings.

• Feed for hunger's sake only. A baby who's fed not only when she's hungry but also when she's hurt or unhappy, when mom or dad is too busy to play with her, or when she's bored in the stroller will continue to demand food for the wrong reasons (and as an adult may eat for the same wrong reasons). Instead of feeding her every time she cries, try first to figure out whether she's crying for food. Offer comfort with a cuddle, not an extra feed (and if she needs extra sucking between meals or after a feed, offer a pacifier). When you're too busy to play with her, prop her in front of a mobile or an activity bar instead of propping her up with a bottle. Occupy her with a toy or a song in the supermarket instead of occupying her with food.

• Wait on solids. Giving solids too soon, especially to formula-fed infants, can lead to overweight. Go slow when you do get the green light on solids from your baby's doctor, and offer them on a spoon, not in a bottle. Adding cereal to a bottle can add too many calories too easily. Be sure, too, that as you add more solids, the amount of breast milk or formula your little one gets goes down.

• Don't get juiced. Because it's sweet and easy going down, babies can chug far too many calories too fast in the form of juice. Babies under the age of 6 months shouldn't get any juice at all—and once it's introduced, it should be watered down and limited (see
box
). Another important rule: Never offer juice in a bottle—wait for the cup instead.

• Make sure you're not underdiluting formula. Always check the label when you're mixing formula to make sure you're not inadvertently adding too little water—which can increase the calorie count per ounce of formula considerably, not to mention make it too salty.

• Get your baby moving. When you change her diaper, touch her right knee to her left elbow several times, then the reverse. With her grasping your thumbs, use your other fingers to hold her forearms, so she can “pull up” to a sitting position. Let her “stand” on your lap—and bounce, if she likes. (See the following
box
for more on baby workouts.)

• Thinking of turning on the tap to slow your baby's weight gain? Though offering water to an overweight older baby may help curb extra calories, check with the doctor before giving water to one who's younger than 6 months.