What the Doctor Didn't Tell Her (4 page)

A new patient was
admitted, a woman six weeks before her due date, carrying twins.
Although it would have been preferable to delay the births, labor
had progressed too far. To further complicate matters, the first
baby was in the breech position, with feet first, which posed
additional dangers.

After a phone
consultation with the patient’s obstetrician, who was out of town
for the weekend, Sarah called for an operating room. Fortunately,
Daniel was almost finished with his surgery and could take over the
other patients.

She was about to begin
the operation when Daniel poked his head into the room. “I
apologize for interrupting your night off.”

“
That’s
hardly your fault.”

He glanced at the
other staff and the parents, who couldn’t help overhearing. “How
about breakfast in the cafeteria as soon as we’re done?”

Might as well get that
discussion over with. “Fine,” Sarah said.

As soon as he left,
the patient, who had only a local anesthetic, grinned at her. “He’s
cute.”

“
Hey!” her
husband teased. “You’re taken.”

“
Yeah,
like I’m going to flirt in this condition,” she tossed
back.

“
A girl
can’t help looking,” said one of the nurses, and they all
chuckled.

Amused in spite of
herself, Sarah made the first incision. The mom was strong and the
twins both proved in good shape, able to breathe on their own and
weighing in at more than four pounds each. The pediatrician cleared
them for the intermediate care nursery rather than neonatal
intensive care.

Tired but elated,
Sarah went out. The day shift had arrived, and Daniel was nowhere
in sight.

She checked her voice
mail. A couple of frantic messages, one from him and one from her
mother, sent Sarah racing to her car.

*

“
I had no idea there was any
danger.” In the early morning sunshine, Betsy huddled under a
blanket. “The firemen think one of the gas pipes might have leaked
and caused the fire.”

The scene was surreal: fire trucks, a
paramedic unit and a police car filled the street, while neighbors
stood around gawking. Sarah had hurried home, terrified of what she
might find. Even now, her pulse was pounding and she felt shaky.
She could only imagine what awful memories this must have stirred
in Nina.

Paramedics, having determined that neither
Nina nor Betsy required emergency treatment, had released the
little girl to her uncle’s expert care. Meanwhile, the fire,
confined to the kitchen, had been extinguished.

“
The important thing is, no one’s
hurt.” Sarah glanced at Daniel, kneeling nearby on the grass with
his arms around Nina. “Still, this must be traumatic.”

Betsy shivered. “Just when she was starting to
heal.”

Sarah wished she had a view of Nina’s face. In
Daniel’s expression, relief mingled with weariness.

“
You’re worried about her, aren’t
you?” Betsy asked. “Go on over. I’ll be along shortly.”

“
You’re sure?”

“
I just want to catch my
breath,”

Sarah picked her way across the lawn, stepping
over the fire hoses. When Nina turned, Sarah braced for
tears.

Instead, the little girl beamed. “I saved
her!” Nina jumped up and ran to Sarah. “I saved your
mommy.”

Sarah hugged her. “I was scared for
you.”

Daniel brushed off his slacks. “Nina woke up
and smelled smoke a few minutes before the alarm
sounded.”

“
I shook Betsy,” Nina said
earnestly. “I saved her.”

“
You certainly helped.” Sarah
wasn’t sure a minute or two had made much difference. “I’m glad we
had the alarm, too.”

“
Even a few seconds is important
where a fire’s concerned,” put in a nearby firefighter. “More
people die from smoke and carbon monoxide poisoning than from
flames.”

“
I woke up Betsy,” Nina reaffirmed
as the fireman continued collecting the hoses.

“
Yes, you did.” Sarah’s mother
came to join them. “Thank you.”

“
My parents didn’t wake
up.”

A shiver ran through Sarah. “Nina, did you try
to save your parents?”

The girl nodded.

“
What do you remember?” Daniel
asked.

Nina pressed close to Sarah. “Mommy told me to
watch the cooking. Only the pot boiled over and the flames jumped
to the curtains. I ran to get Mommy, but she and Daddy were
sleeping too much.”

“
She left you alone with food on
the stove?” Sarah asked in dismay.

A tear slid down the girl’s cheek. “She said I
was big enough.”

“
No, you weren’t,” Daniel answered
with a trace of anger. “Your mommy made a mistake.”

“
This fire must have brought
everything back,” Betsy murmured. “I’m so sorry.”

“
Don’t be,” Daniel told her. “This
is a major step. She blocked the memories, and no wonder. She felt
responsible for what happened.”

“
Nina, it isn’t your fault they
didn’t wake up,” Sarah said. “The fire wasn’t your fault,
either.”

Nina’s mouth trembled. “It wasn’t?”

What a burden of guilt this child had been
carrying. “No. It’s grownups’ job to protect children, not the
other way around.”

Daniel crouched to face his niece.
“Sweetheart, do you recall one night when I picked you up, when
Mommy and Daddy had been drinking?”

Her nose wrinkled. “That nasty-smelling
stuff.”

“
Your mommy was asleep and your
daddy could hardly talk to me,” Daniel went on. “I got mad and said
angry things to them, remember?”

“
Yes.”

“
I loved them and they loved you,
but when they drank like that, they couldn’t take care of you or
themselves. I think that’s what happened the night of the
fire.”

“
You tried to help them,” Sarah
put in. “You were brave.”

“
And this morning,” Betsy added,
“You saved me.”

“
I’m glad.” Nina’s eyebrows drew
together. She had a lot to think over, but with luck she was on the
right path now, Sarah reflected.

Maybe this fire hadn’t been such a bad thing,
after all.

Chapter Five

Over the next few days, the father of several
day-care youngsters worked his construction crew overtime on
kitchen repairs to restore his children’s sitter to business. A
neighbor generously invited Sarah and Betsy to stay in her guest
room until the house was restored and, to cause as little
disruption as possible, Betsy continued to baby-sit Nina. Their
hostess, a long-distance grandmother, was delighted to have the
little girl on the premises.

Nina had been in a surprisingly upbeat mood,
now that she was relieved of her burden of guilt. However, the fire
had dealt an emotional blow to Betsy, who struggled to regain her
usual good cheer.

“
Life feels so fragile,” she told
Sarah one evening as they prepared for bed. “It’s brought back
memories of your father’s sudden death. We never know where the
next blow will come from.” He’d collapsed one afternoon while they
were grocery shopping. Even though paramedics had responded
quickly, they’d been unable to revive him.

“
You always tell me to look for
the rainbow after a storm,” Sarah pointed out.

“
I’m trying.” Betsy wrapped her
arms around herself. “It’s just hard to believe life has happy
things in store.”

Sarah patted her mother’s arm. “I’m still
here.”

Betsy smiled lovingly. “Yes, you are. And
maybe one of these days…” Her gaze drifted to a photo collage on
the wall, showing their neighbor’s grandchildren. “Never
mind.”

Sarah knew how much her mom longed for
grandkids.
Not much I can do about that,
she thought, and
changed the subject.

Although her path and Daniel’s crossed
frequently, nearly a week went by before they were able to
reschedule their breakfast. She arrived at the hospital cafeteria
early, and claimed a corner table.

A few minutes later, Daniel showed up. Across
the large room, she felt the impact of his dark, intense
presence.

If only she knew where she stood with him.
Since the fire, their interactions had been friendly but
impersonal, yet he showed no interest in any other woman. What was
it he planned to tell her?

Carrying a fruit platter and toast, he strode
to her table. “Oh, I didn’t notice the waffles.” He regarded her
serving enviously. “I might get some. No, never mind.” He took a
seat.

Was he so nervous? But why?

To Sarah’s frustration, Daniel dug into his
food with no further comment. To break the silence, she asked,
“How’s Nina been sleeping?” There’d been no overnights since the
fire.

“
Like a log.” From little plastic
tubs, Daniel spread butter and jam on his toast. “She’s been
fine.”

“
It’s amazing,” Sarah said. “She’s
so chatty, she’s like a different person.”

“
She isn’t a different
person—she’s the happy kid she used to be.” He set down his fork.
“She’s been talking to me about her parents, remembering the good
times. It’s a big weight lifted from her.”

“
It isn’t unusual for children to
feel responsible when bad things happen around them,” Sarah said.
“In her case, I should have recognized it.”

“
How could you, when I
didn’t?”

It was hard to explain. “There’s a connection
between Nina and me. I don’t think I’m imagining it.”

Daniel’s gaze held hers. “Sarah, there’s
something I need to tell you.”

Although she had no idea what he meant, his
grave expression worried her. “What is it?”

“
I may be breaking some ethics
rule or other, but I don’t care. You have a right to
know.”

At a loss, Sarah waited for him to
continue.

“
Six years ago, when you donated
eggs, I accidentally found out that the person you donated them to
was my sister-in-law.”

Astonished, she simply stared at
him.

“
I started suspecting it while you
were coordinating your cycles. Misty was quite talkative about what
was going on, and so were you,” Daniel explained. “When she had the
egg transfer the same week you donated, I realized what it
meant.”

In the process of egg donation, both the donor
and the recipient synchronized their monthly cycles using birth
control pills and other hormones, so the mother-to-be’s body was
ready at the right point. When mature, the eggs were retrieved from
the donor through a minor surgical procedure, examined by an
embryologist and, if healthy, fertilized in a laboratory using the
male partner’s sperm. About three days later, when they had grown
to eight cells, the healthiest embryos were transferred into the
recipient’s womb. With luck, one or two implanted and
grew.

While some women chose to meet the donor, the
recipient of Sarah’s eggs had preferred anonymity. Her medical
records were kept strictly private, but that hadn’t prevented
Daniel from guessing.

Sarah’s mouth went dry and overhead the
lighting hummed loudly. “There might have been more than one
transfer that week.”

“
The timing was spot on.” A group
of nurses strolled by, and Daniel waited to speak again until they
were out of earshot. “I couldn’t risk revealing what I
knew.”

“
That’s why you shut me out.”
Sarah had never considered a reason like this.

“
Yes. I handled it badly, but I
had no idea what else to do.” He reached for her coffee cup. “How
about a refill?”

“
Yes, please.” As Sarah waited for
him to come back from the coffee station, she wished he hadn’t let
her believe the worst. Yet if they’d continued dating, the truth
might have slipped out and, if not, keeping such a secret would
have created a wedge between them.

Daniel returned. “Where was I?”

“
Dumping me.”

“
I kept hoping we’d find each
other again.” Regret tinged his words. “Then my brother lost his
job and started drinking.”

Sarah recalled his earlier account. “You moved
to Arizona for Nina’s sake.”

“
She was helpless and vulnerable.”
Daniel’s dark eyebrows drew together. “And I kept seeing traces of
you in her.”

The light-brown hair. The green eyes.
The shape of Nina’s chin.
She’s my daughter.

The impact took Sarah’s breath away. She’d
tried not to think about the child who might have been born, the
child who drew half his or her genetic heritage from Sarah. In the
Los Angeles-Orange County metropolitan area, with a population of
nearly eighteen million, their paths were unlikely to cross, nor
would they have recognized each other should that
happen.

Except under these extraordinary
circumstances.