What Happens at Christmas (2 page)

“Hong Kong is crazy. So many people crammed into a tiny space, buildings reaching up to the sky. But it’s awesome. So much life, so vibrant. I loved it there.”

“It sounds amazing,” Justin said wistfully. He’d never travelled outside Europe—if you could even call the Eurocamp holidays he’d had with his parents travelling. “I want to go to places like that one day.”

“You should.” Sean yawned hugely. “Save up your holiday and take three weeks sometime. You won’t regret—” Another yawn cut off his words.

“Bedtime?” Justin suggested. It wasn’t even eight o’clock yet, but Sean was slurring as though he was drunk, and he was only drinking water.

“I reckon.” Sean looked rueful. “Sorry. I haven’t even had a chance to ask what’s going on with you. But honestly, I think if you tell me now, I won’t remember it tomorrow anyway. I’ve reached that point where my brain is too tired to work anymore.”

“You go and get ready. I’ll make the bed up for you.”

“You’re an angel.” Sean stood, picking up his plate and Justin’s and taking them into the kitchen before coming back to rummage around in his rucksack. Wash kit in hand, he asked, “Can I borrow a towel? I have one of those travel ones, but it’s a bit manky.”

“In the cupboard in the bathroom,” Justin said.

“Thanks. If I’m not out in ten minutes, I’ve probably fallen asleep in your shower, so come and rescue me before I drown.”

Justin laughed. “Will do.”

Sean was back in less than five. He arrived on a waft of toothpaste and shampoo, hair still damp from the shower and a towel wrapped around his hips. “That’s better,” he said. “But I’m so knackered I forgot to take any clean clothes in with me.” He stooped to dig around in his rucksack again. Then, completely unselfconsciously, he dropped his towel and stepped into his boxers.

His back was towards Justin, so Justin allowed himself the luxury of looking. The bumps on Sean’s spine were clearly visible; he’d definitely lost weight while he was travelling. But God, Sean still had a gorgeous arse. It had been a few years since Justin had seen it in all its bare-skinned glory. Now it was a little furrier than Justin remembered, soft-looking dark hairs sprinkled the globes of his buttocks, thickening on his thighs and down his legs.

Justin tore his gaze away quickly, ashamed of himself for ogling his friend. Not that Sean would care, probably. But although they were both gay, they’d never been anything other than friends, and after so many years of trying to fight his attraction to Sean, it still felt wrong to think of him that way.

When Justin turned back, Sean was dressed in a long-sleeved T-shirt and threadbare sweatpants. Justin watched as he sat on the edge of the now made-up bed and pulled on thick socks.

“I do have central heating, you know.” Justin raised an eyebrow, teasing, as Sean looked up.

Exhaustion was written in every line and shadow of his face. Purple marks as dark as bruises smudged under dark eyes glazed with tiredness.

“Yeah. But I’ve come from the tropics. Believe me. I’ll need the layers for a couple of days at least.”

He got into the bed and snuggled down under the duvet.

“Goodnight, then.”

“Night,” Sean replied.

Justin left, turning the light out on his way. In his room, he took the extra blanket off his own bed and padded back quietly to where Sean was sleeping. He spread the blanket over Sean, making sure it was pulled up to cover him.

Sean’s breathing was slow and steady, and he didn’t stir.

“In case you get cold,” Justin whispered. “Sleep well.”

CHAPTER TWO

Sean woke and opened his eyes to almost total darkness. Disorientated, he lay still for a moment, trying to remember where he was. He’d slept in so many different places in the past few months, the mental stocktake of
Where the fuck am I?
was familiar.

He was warm, snug under layers of bedding. That was new. The air that touched his face was cool, nothing like the humid tropical heat he was used to. The last twenty-four hours replayed in his mind: airports and queues, a godawful thirteen-hour flight, more airports, more queues, followed by the special hell of navigating the London Underground during the rush hour with a massive rucksack. Then arriving at Justin’s flat, an oasis of calm after the insanity of travelling.

It was so good to see him. Sean smiled into the dark as he remembered Justin greeting him last night and the easy way they’d slipped back into their friendship, like putting on a comfortable old pair of shoes. He didn’t realise how much he’d missed Justin till he had him back.

Wide awake now, Sean sat up. He had no idea what time it was. Where the fuck had he put his phone last night? The battery was probably flat, anyway. He squinted at the clock on the TV box across the room. 2:07 a.m.

Hello, jet lag, my old friend
.

He sighed. Even though his brain was dull with sleep deprivation, he knew there was no way he was going to be able to go back to sleep for a while. He got out of bed and carefully felt his way across the room to the door to find the light switch.

“Shit,” he cursed as glaringly bright light flooded the room. He squinted, looking around till he saw a smaller lamp in the corner and turned that on instead, then stumbled back to turn the overhead light off.

He dug his phone out of his jeans pocket and put it on to charge, then found the TV remote and spent a few minutes trying to work out how Justin’s TV system worked. He managed to open Netflix and settled back into the bed, propped up on pillows. It was time to find out how many episodes of
Arrested Development
he could watch before he was ready to sleep again.

Sean never found out because he lost count after the first four. But at some point he must have fallen asleep again because the next thing he knew was the
click
of the door and the creak of footsteps.

“Ugh,” Sean groaned, cranking his eyes open to see daylight filtering through too-thin curtains. Justin stood by the side of the sofa bed, his bleached blond hair mussed from sleep and sticking up oddly at the back. “Whassa time?”

The TV was still playing, chattering away to itself.

“Half nine,” Justin replied. “Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you, but I’m hungry and getting kind of desperate for some coffee.” He smiled, dimples denting his cheeks.

“’S okay.” Sean rubbed his eyes, then blinked a few times, trying to will away the cotton wool that appeared to have taken residence in his brain. “I should probably try and get up now anyway, given that it’s daytime. Fuck, I feel rough.”

“You look it.” Justin sounded sympathetic. “Coffee?”

“God, yes please. A bucket of it.”

“Coming right up.”

Sean didn’t have the energy to move far, but he hauled himself up into a position that was more sitting than lying, turned the TV off, and listened to Justin pottering around in the kitchen.

When Justin returned, Sean laughed when he saw the size of the mug he held out. It must have easily held a pint, if not more.

“I wasn’t expecting you to take me so literally.”

“I’ve never used it before. It was a stupid free promo mug that came with a delivery from Sports Direct and I never got around to chucking it. I’m glad it’s finally come in handy.”

Sean lifted it and took a sip. “Awesome.” It was perfect. Exactly the right amount of milk and sugar. “If this doesn’t wake me up, nothing will.”

They had a lazy morning, chilling, eating breakfast, and playing
Call of Duty
. It was like old times, when they used to hang around at each other’s houses as teenagers. But by mid-afternoon, Sean was getting sleepy again.

“I could have a power nap,” he suggested. “For an hour, maybe?”

“Nope.” Justin shook his head adamantly. “You said earlier that I wasn’t allowed to let you sleep until at least ten o’clock tonight.”

“I knew that would come back to bite me on the arse. Seriously, just half an hour, then, to take the edge off?” He put his controller aside and leaned back, closing his eyes. He could fall asleep in a matter of minutes; the pull of lethargy was like quicksand, trying to drag him under.

“No.” Justin stood and grabbed Sean’s hand, tugging till he opened his eyes and allowed Justin to pull him up. “Come on, we’re going out. That’s the only way I’ll keep you awake for a few more hours.”

“I hate you,” Sean groaned.

“No, you don’t. You love me.”

Sean’s heart thumped in agreement.
But just as a friend
, he reminded himself.

For years he’d tried to convince himself that his crush on his childhood friend was just that—a crush, nothing important, something he’d grow out of—but now they were together again, those feelings had come rushing back as strong as ever.

“Please tell me there’ll be caffeine?” Sean said.

“For you, baby. Anything.”

“Where are you taking me?” Sean asked, as they walked along Justin’s street.

Sean shivered, hunching down into his coat. His beanie was pulled low over his ears, and he’d borrowed a scarf from Justin. He was still cold. The wind was bitter, carrying a hint of sleet with it.

“A café. It’s not far, about twenty minutes’ walk.”

“Can’t we get the Tube?”

“No way am I letting you get on the Tube. You’ll fall asleep.”

Sean had to admit Justin was probably right. He could almost fall asleep on his feet at the moment. Maybe he could sleepwalk to wherever Justin was taking him….

“So, I haven’t had a chance to catch up on what’s going on with you,” Sean said. “How’s the job going? Are you still happy with it?”

“Yeah. I like the work. It’s interesting most of the time. I’m still a total dogsbody who has to pick up all the jobs nobody else wants to do, but at least I’m getting some experience.”

“And how are things with Andy?” Sean deliberately kept his voice super casual. It wasn’t an unreasonable question, surely? Mates talked about stuff like that.

He’d always known about Justin’s boyfriends before—and had envied every single one of them—but he’d never liked Andy right from when Justin started seeing him this time last year. Sean had been gutted when Justin introduced him to Andy, because by then he was out of the closet, and he’d been thinking about finally admitting his own feelings for Justin. But with Sean saving to leave the country for nine months, the timing for a big declaration seemed all wrong, so he’d hesitated, and then Andy had swooped in and stolen Justin out from under his nose.

Once Justin and Andy were together, Andy had been hanging around their flat like a bad smell, and yes, Sean was jealous, but it was more than that. Something about Andy set Sean’s teeth on edge. He’d never trusted him.

Justin’s long silence clued Sean in to the fact that all wasn’t well.

“Justin?” He grabbed his friend’s coat sleeve and made him stop. “What happened?”

“It’s over, okay? I know you never liked him, but please don’t gloat about it, because it’s still pretty raw.”

A tiny, guilty little part of Sean couldn’t help feeling pleased. He didn’t think he could handle staying with Justin for long if he had to watch Justin playing happy families with Andy again. His hopes rose at the thought that finally, for the first time since they’d known each other—well, for the first time since Sean had come out, at least—the timing might be right for something to happen between them. Maybe Justin would want to rebound onto him? Sean would be okay with that.

The expression on Justin’s face made Sean feel like a complete arsehole for thinking those things. Their friendship was more important.

“Well, come on, then. Tell me what happened,” Sean said.

Justin pulled his arm away from Sean and started walking again, so Sean fell into step beside him.

“He’d been cheating on me for months, with various guys through a hook-up app. It wasn’t till he got serious with one in particular that I finally got suspicious. I checked his phone and found out what he’d been doing.”

The hurt in Justin’s voice made all Sean’s protective instincts stand up and roar. He’d been Justin’s personal bodyguard at school for years, and any hint of someone causing Justin physical or emotional pain made Sean want to rearrange their face for them. “Fucker,” he growled. “Seriously, what a total bastard. But if that’s what he did to you, then you’re better off without him.”

“Yeah. I suppose. Doesn’t make me feel any happier about it at the moment, though. He could be a lot of fun. We had a good time together while it lasted.”

“It’s his loss,” Sean said gruffly.

“Yeah, well. You have to say that.” Justin nudged him gently.

It was true though. Andy must be an idiot. “You’re still pretty hung up on him then?” Sean asked.

There was a long pause. “I suppose. I mean… I know it’s stupid to want him back. But I miss what we had, you know? I like being in a relationship.”

Justin was a serial monogamist. He’d come out young… well, he’d never really been in the closet. With Justin, people tended to assume his sexuality, and he had eventually given up correcting people. With Sean by his side, he hadn’t had too much shit for it at school. He’d managed to surround himself with friends who were supportive and ignore the haters. Justin had had his first proper boyfriend in their final year at school, which had driven Sean crazy with jealousy. Sean had still been fighting his own internal battles at the time, knowing deep down that he was gay too, but he wasn’t even ready to admit it to himself, let alone anyone else. So he’d been stuck playing the part of the ladies’ man, leaving a trail of broken teenage hearts behind him when he never wanted to get serious with anyone.

“Okay, here we are.” Justin stopped outside a café.

“Wow.”

Sean stood and stared at the exterior. It was a narrow building squeezed in between a homeware shop on one side and a vintage clothes shop on the other. Even on this colourful street of kitsch London shops, the café was the jewel in the crown, almost literally. The window frames and front door were painted shocking pink, and the windows were draped with sparkly, gauzy fabric and intertwined strings of multicoloured fairy lights and tinsel. Sean wondered whether the tinsel was a nod to the season or whether they kept it up all year round. The sign outside read “Unicorn Café,” painted in black curly lettering on a rainbow background.