What Happens at Christmas (8 page)

As Justin watched, they started kissing. “Aw, that’s sweet,” he said. “I’m glad Johnny’s night didn’t turn out too badly after all.”

“Andy doesn’t look too happy about it.”

Justin followed Sean’s gaze to Andy, who was standing at the bar with a drink in his hand and a scowl on his face. “Good.”

As they picked up their jackets from the table and made their excuses, Jess gave them a knowing look.

“Sean’s still jet-lagged,” Justin said smoothly. “I need to get him into bed.”

Jess snorted. “I bet you do.”

Sean’s cheeks flushed hot, but Justin looked totally unfazed. “Is Andy watching us?” He asked Jess, who was sitting facing the room.

She glanced quickly over his shoulder. “Yep.”

Justin grinned. “Awesome. Come on then, baby. Let’s make our exit. Put your arm around me, and grope my arse on the way out.”

In the taxi they stayed sitting close together.

Sean wanted to ask what they were doing, but he was afraid of breaking the spell they’d woven through their pretence, which had conjured something real yet all too tenuous. Delicious anticipation pooled in his belly. He was still hard, hoping that Justin’s mind was in the same place his was. He put his hand on Justin’s thigh again, feeling taut muscle there. Sean stroked tentatively, watching Justin for any reaction. Justin licked his lips, but kept his gaze fixed out of the window.

Sean slid his hand a little higher, deliberately letting his little finger brush against the bulge at Justin’s crotch. Justin glanced at Sean then, just for a second before looking away again. Without saying a word, he covered Sean’s hand with his own.

Sean felt a twist of disappointment, expecting Justin to push his hand away.

Instead, Justin pulled it higher, placing it right over the hard length of his cock where it lay jutting sideways, trapped in his clothes.

Okay, so we’re on the same page, then
.

Sean looked at the taxi driver, checking he couldn’t see where Sean’s hand was. Thankfully this guy wasn’t the chatty type. There was no way Sean could have carried on a conversation right now. He let his fingers move, carefully exploring the shape of Justin through his trousers. Justin kept absolutely still, eyes still tracking the houses and cars as they drove through the London streets, but when Sean rubbed the head of his cock with a fingertip, Justin bit his lip and swallowed, throat bobbing in the dim light.

Sean shifted in his seat. He adjusted himself with his free hand and felt the warm stickiness of precome in his underwear. His cock ached with the need for stimulation. He was stupid with it, and a few strokes would be enough to bring him off. Thinking about that, he rubbed Justin’s cock harder, using his palm to touch as much as he could. He wondered whether Justin could come like this, whether he wanted to.

Then the taxi slowed, and they were back at Justin’s flat. He pulled his hand away as the driver turned on the light in the back and twisted around to tell them the fare.

Justin reached into his jacket pocket for his wallet, but Sean beat him to it. He shoved fifteen quid into the driver’s hand. “Keep the change.” He was already opening the cab door. The need to get Justin inside and alone was a biological imperative.

“Cheers, mate,” the driver said as they climbed out. “Have a good night.”

They made it indoors with indecent haste. Sean was heartened that Justin seemed in as much of a rush as he was.

As soon as the door to Justin’s flat closed behind them, Justin grabbed Sean and kissed him again. This time there was nothing hesitant about it. It was all messy urgency as Justin backed him up against the wall and worked his hand down into Sean’s waistband. Sean sucked in his stomach to help him gain access and then moaned as Justin’s questing fingertips stroked the sensitive tip of his dick. It was delicious torture, but it wasn’t enough.

Sean tugged at his belt, unfastening it, tearing at the button and zip so that Justin could stroke him properly if he wanted, then started work on Justin’s trousers too. With their hands busy at each other’s crotches, it was an awkward fumble, but somehow they got there. Jackets hanging open, trousers around their knees, they finally got their hands around each other’s cocks and stroked frantically as they snogged like teenagers.

Sean had imagined this so many times when they were younger that he couldn’t believe it was finally happening. What if this was the only chance he’d ever get? He didn’t want this to be over too quickly. He tried to pull away, to slow things down and suggest they move somewhere other than the hallway—

Justin moaned in protest. “Don’t stop. I’m so close.”

The broken, desperate sound of Justin’s voice made Sean’s balls tighten. “Fuck, me too… but Justin, wait—”

Too late.

Justin came with a groan, his release slicking Sean’s fist as his head dropped to Sean’s shoulder and his body shuddered. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I couldn’t stop.”

He sounded embarrassed, and Sean didn’t want that. “It’s fine, really… I’m about to join you.” Justin had stilled his hand as he came, and Sean was right there, teetering on the edge. He thrust into Justin’s hand as a reminder to move it. “Justin, please. I’m desperate here.”

Justin chuckled. “I’m on it.”

Sean looked down as Justin started to stroke him again. The sight of Justin’s fingers, slender and strong around his cock, the head emerging with each slide of his hand was all it took. Sean came with a stifled curse, shooting between them and making a mess of Justin’s shirt.

Sean felt Justin’s lips brush his cheek, and he turned his head, seeking another kiss. When they parted, both still breathless, Justin looked down.

“Bloody hell. Look at the state of us,” Justin said.

“These clothes are all machine washable, right?” Sean wiped a sticky hand on his shirt. “At least we made it inside the front door.”

“That was a fucking miracle in itself. I was seriously tempted to blow you in the taxi.” Justin grinned.

Sean smiled back, hopelessly smitten. Yet he was already bracing himself for the weirdness that would soon come barging into this intimate space between them, chasing away the possibility of anything more. “I don’t want this to be over,” he blurted in a rush of honesty. “That was why I didn’t want you to come so fast. I don’t know what we’re doing, or why, and maybe we can think about that tomorrow. But I want more of this.” He gestured between them, heart pounding hard as he waited.

Justin’s smile had faded to be replaced by caution, as though he were looking for a catch. “I’m up for more,” Justin finally said, and Sean breathed a sigh of relief. “Well—” Justin looked down at his dick, which was mostly soft now. “—I can be in a little while. If we’re going to have drunken, bad-decision buddy sex, we might as well do it in style, right? Bedroom?”

They pulled their trousers back up so they could walk there without tripping. But as soon as they were in Justin’s room, Justin started shedding his clothes. Sean watched as he stripped, revealing his pale skin and lean, smooth body. When he was down to his socks and underwear, Justin looked up and frowned. “This isn’t a free show. Get your kit off.”

Justin was naked before Sean had finished his shirt buttons, and he came and batted Sean’s hands away. Together they got Sean out of his clothes between kisses.

“Chilly?” Justin asked, rubbing his fingertips over Sean’s tight nipples.

“Yeah.” Sean shivered, but not entirely from the cold. He was already getting hard again. Justin’s skin was so smooth and warm. Sean wanted to kiss him all over.

“Get into bed, I’ll go and put the heating on for an hour. I don’t want to have to blow you under the covers, or I’ll suffocate.”

Sean’s cock lifted a few more degrees at the thought of Justin’s mouth on him. All his teenage fantasies were coming to life right there. He gave up a silent prayer of thanks for the chain of events that had led them to this. Even if it was only for one night.

Sean got under the covers while Justin nipped out to the hallway to fiddle with his thermostat. When he came back, he burrowed under the duvet next to Sean, all cold hands and feet that made Sean squirm. His mouth was warm, though, and when they started kissing, the heat built quickly between them in more ways than one.

“Why have we never done this before?” Justin asked as he moved down to kiss Sean’s neck, rubbing his cheek against Sean’s stubble like a cat.

“You were always with someone after I came out,” Sean reminded him. “Well… apart from before you met Andy. But there were only a few weeks between Conrad and Andy, and I was supposed to be leaving the country soon.”

“But you wanted to?”

Sean couldn’t see Justin’s expression. The question sounded casual, but for Sean it was loaded. “You’re pretty easy on the eye. I wouldn’t have kicked you out of bed if you’d offered.”

“Wow. You really know how to turn on the charm.” Justin’s teeth closed on Sean’s neck and bit a little harder than was fun.

Sean yelped, and Justin licked it instead, maybe as an apology.

“Well, what about you?” Sean asked. “Would you have been into it when we were younger?”

“Um. Hell, yes.”

“Well, how come you never said or at least hinted?”

Justin raised his head then. His fair hair fell over his forehead and his grey eyes were almost luminous in the dim light of the lamp by the bed. “I thought you were straight, you idiot. I wasn’t going to wreck the best friendship I ever had by coming on to you. Of course I fancied you. You’re gorgeous, who wouldn’t? Plus I
liked
you. It was more than sexual. I had a ridiculous crush on you for years. But when you came out, I was going out with George.”

The raw honesty of his words shone through, and Sean could see the shadow of past hurt in Justin’s eyes. It was all a long time ago. He’d used the past tense. Would it make him feel any better now to know that Sean had felt the same, all that time, or would it lace his memories with even more regret for lost opportunity? Sean didn’t want to kill the mood of what they had now by getting heavy. So instead of all the things he could have said, he reached down to brush a strand of hair away from Justin’s face, his hand lingering by his cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was gay sooner.”

Justin gave a small smile. “You’ve already apologised for that.”

“It never felt like enough.”

Justin’s smile turned dirty and a glint of mischief lit up his eyes. “Nothing says I’m sorry like a really amazing blowjob. Just a suggestion.”

Sean rolled them over, pinning Justin to the bed and laughing. “You’re such a tart.”

“Yep.” Justin tangled his fingers in Sean’s hair and kissed him some more. Then he pushed Sean’s head south. “Now get down there and show me how good you are at apologising.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Justin’s head spun as Sean’s hot breath tickled his belly, soft lips and scratchy stubble teasing his sensitive skin and sending sparks of sensation to his cock.

What had he just admitted? He cursed the alcohol he’d drunk tonight and his stupid mouth for running away with him. Why had he told Sean about his adolescent crush? He didn’t want to come across as needy and scare Sean off from whatever was about to happen between them, because he knew that this would probably be a one-off. Even if Sean was interested in more than one night of fun, he wasn’t settled in London. He didn’t have a permanent job—or even a job at all. Sean could end up living in a different city next month. Justin wanted to take what he could get while it was on offer and not ruin it by trying to make it into more than it was.

He pushed Sean’s head lower, needing the distraction of Sean’s mouth on his cock. Once that happened, Justin was sure there wouldn’t be any room left in his brain for actual thoughts. But Sean seemed determined to torture him, because instead of sucking Justin’s dick, he bypassed it and started kissing his thighs instead.

“Oh God, you’re such a shit,” Justin groaned.

Sean chuckled, the sound muffled where his face was pressed into sensitive skin, and then he turned his attention to Justin’s balls. Justin supposed that was at least one step closer to where he really wanted Sean’s mouth, so he shut up and let him get on with it. Sean had pushed Justin’s thighs wide for access, and Justin tried not to focus on how exposed he felt. It was weird how it was way more intimidating doing this with someone he’d known for so long. He’d never had issues with hooking up in the past, happy to open his legs and offer his arse to anyone he was attracted to. But it felt bizarre having Sean, his oldest friend in the world, getting busy down there between his thighs, seeing Justin in a whole new way.

They’d never talked about sex much. Before Sean came out, Justin had never raised the topic for obvious reasons, but even afterwards they’d never discussed their sex lives. Justin had always assumed Sean didn’t bring it up because of his natural reticence—he wasn’t an oversharer like Justin. Justin usually liked nothing better than quizzing his friends about the gory details of their sexual encounters, but he hadn’t wanted to hear about Sean with other guys, so he’d never asked. He didn’t even know whether Sean was a top or a bottom, but he was getting toppy vibes now as Sean pushed Justin’s knees towards his chest and his mouth moved lower instead of higher.

“Is this okay?” Sean murmured. “I really want to eat you out.”

Justin’s cock jerked its appreciation and drooled precome onto his stomach.

“Why does that sound about a million times more dirty coming out of your mouth than it has in any porn I’ve ever watched?”

“Is that a yes?” Sean’s dark gaze flicked up to meet Justin’s, before Justin threw his head back onto the pillow, closed his eyes, and let Jesus take the wheel.

“Yes, it’s a yes. I guess I can accept an apology rim job in place of the…
ahhhh
.”

Sean’s tongue started tracing gentle, tantalising, ever-decreasing circles around the sensitive skin of Justin’s hole, and Justin lost the ability to make any sounds other than desperate, needy noises. He should probably feel embarrassed about them, but he was too turned on to give a fuck.