What about us? (9 page)

I wondered what kind of strange
reality I’d been living in, if history was always being chopped and changed
about by people like him.  But would I even know?

“We’re not supposed to meddle,”
he said.  “In fact, with the big events it’s almost impossible to meddle.  You
see the past is real; it happened.  It’s the future that’s uncertain, unformed
if you like and it’s totally dependent on the present.  So in a way, it doesn’t
exist.  We’re always in the present, but we’ve developed a way to revisit the
past.”

I looked around the room again. 
“So... this is the past then?” I asked, as the shock began to change to
wonder. 

“Yes.  We are in southeast
London and it is December 18
^th
1888.”

He was still looking at me
carefully.

“Oh...” I said again.

Both my mind and my voice were
a bit wobbly, to say the least.

He waited while I considered
everything that he’d ever said to me.  Not what he’d just shared with me, but
everything.  Slowly a question formed in my mind.

“So are we going to your time,
to ask if we can stay together?” I asked hopefully, thinking stupidly about the
old Star Trek movie with the whales.

“No, we can’t.” he answered
sadly.

“They wouldn’t let us I suppose...”

“No.  It’s just not possible.  You
see time travel, just like a train or a car, can only go to a place where there
are tracks or a road; you can’t just go anywhere you fancy.  You can’t exist in
my time because it’s the future.  It hasn’t happened for you.  For the same
reason, my people can’t look into the future and decide what we should do in
our present.  It hasn’t happened yet, so there is nothing to see.  We can only
look to the past to guide and inform us.”

I thought about what he’d said
and what it really meant, while he quietly watched me, letting me take it all
in at my own speed.

“So does that mean...” I said
slowly, “That we can live together in my time? After all, it’s your past.  Would
they let us do that?”

“No, I don’t think they would. 
Time travel is not something everyone does and I’m sure most people wouldn’t even
want to.  The rule is; we are all supposed to live in our own time, not exist
in the wrong time.  While it’s not possible to meddle with the big things,
maybe you could change small things and that wouldn’t be right.  Also, if you
are not living your life in your own time, perhaps the future will be different
as a result.”

My head was beginning to thump
and I thought about the idea of a future without Jack living his life in it as
he was meant to.  It seemed wrong to me and I looked at this lovely man in
front of me, realising that my life would also be a lot less bright without him
in it and made myself focus on what he was saying.

“To live in the past would also
mean that you’d have knowledge of the future.  Information that didn’t exist
yet would be in the wrong time and that could be a bad thing.  So no, they don’t
allow us to go when and where we please, just for fun.  Part of having this job
is agreeing only to visit; to witness, observe and record, then return to our
own time to share what we have seen and learnt.  There are strict rules and I’m
currently breaking just about all of them.” he said, with a wry smile.

I realised then that he was
explaining all this to me so that I would understand why he had to leave and why
I wouldn’t be able to see him again.  He wasn’t allowed to live with me in my
time and I couldn’t live with him in his.

“I see... I think.” I whispered
slowly.

Just then a horrible thought
occurred to me.

“Will you get into trouble for
sharing this with me, for helping me to understand why you have to go, even
though you love me?”

I searched his face as I spoke. 
I didn’t want him to suffer because of me, but now I knew something about the
future; something I had no right to know.  From what he’d said, I felt sure
he’d be in trouble.

He kissed me slowly and I
realised I was crying.

“But what about us Jack, why
can’t there be an ‘us’?” I blurted out.

It seemed to me that just when I
thought I’d won the lottery, I’d gone and lost the winning ticket.  Added to
that of course, was that I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing and hearing. 
In all the confusion, it took me a few moments to understand properly what he
was saying.

“I’m not leaving you Grace, but
we’ll have to live life on the run.  They will be looking for us, for me
especially.  But time is a funny thing and it might be years and years before
they realise I’m gone.  We might have a whole lifetime together, but we will
have to keep moving, without staying anywhere or anytime too long.  That way
there’s less chance that we’ll do something that might be noticed.  Would that
be enough of a life for you Grace? Seriously, you’d be living like a wanted
criminal, except you haven’t committed a crime.  You don’t have to say yes, I
will understand and I will take you home.”

“Yes!” I said immediately.  How
could I not? How could I not shout it out at the top of my voice, over and over
again? “Yes!”

All of a sudden we were
giggling uncontrollably, tears pouring down our faces, unable to say a coherent
or sensible word, let alone a whole sentence.  We laughed until we were weak
from it, almost in pain.

Once we regained control of
ourselves, we sat for I don’t know how long, wrapped up in each other’s arms
until the fire was barely a glow and noises from outside began to intrude.  I’d
been given the best birthday present ever.  I had no idea how we were going to
live this life on the run, or how I was going to cope with different places;
never mind different times, but I wasn’t going to do it alone.  Jack was going
to be with me and I was going to be with him.  Somehow it would all be alright. 
I was sure about that, absolutely certain in fact.

He turned my face to his and
kissed me, but then as he pulled away, he became serious.

“Before we go any further, I
need to be sure you really understand some important things.”

“Ok, I’m listening.” I said,
struggling into a more comfortable sitting position, one where I could see him
clearly and he could see me.

“We can go back right now, to
the very second we left...”

I shook my head.  That wasn’t
an option as far as I was concerned and was about to say so.

“No, don’t interrupt, hear me
out.” he said

I closed my mouth and listened.

“If we carry on from here,
throw ourselves into the hands of fate or whatever, then you have to know that
if they find me, or if anything else happens to me, you will be alone; stranded
in the wrong time.  Don’t just shrug your shoulders Grace; think about it
carefully before you make your decision.  You see, normally when we leave our
time, we may only be away for an hour, or a day.  To be away for a week, or
more, is rare.  When we return we appear back at the same moment our earlier
self is leaving and the two shimmers prevent us from interacting with
ourselves, so to speak.

The longer you and I stay away,
the more difficult it will be to return.  We won’t be the same people; we will
have had too many experiences.  Remember, when I travel, I only observe and I
try hard not to interact with anyone.  But together, living life in the wrong
time, we will.  So the longer we’re away, the more likely it’ll be that I’ll be
found and you’ll be stuck.”

He watched me as I tried to
think about what it really meant.  It should have been scary, yet I felt quite
calm.  It didn’t take me long to realise that there was something far worse
than unexpectedly being alone in the wrong time and place and I took a deep
breath before explaining it to him.  It was important to me that he understood
exactly what I meant.

“If we go back now, there won’t
be an ‘us’” I said.  “You’ll have to go back to your life and I will have to go
back to mine.  You won’t pop in and see me over the years, because you’ll think
that it would be unfair and that it would stop me moving on and living my life
properly or whatever.  But in a funny way, I feel like I’ve always been waiting
for you.  And I’ll continue waiting; no matter what you think is right or fair. 
I took your hand last night and stepped into the unknown.  I made my decision
then and that decision stands, no matter what happens in the future... or in
the past, given what we’re about to do” I said, stopping for a moment to think
about what I’d just said, then continuing more slowly.

“Anyway, the point is I won’t
regret it and I’ll never regret us.  I really can be very sure about that. 
Being with you Jack... well it feels right, it has done from the moment I met
you.”

He gathered me into his arms
without saying a word, then after a little while we stood up slowly and went to
the window.

“Ready?” he asked again.

He held onto one side of the
thick fabric and told me to take the other.  I took a deep breath, nodded and together
we pulled the curtains back and let the pale morning light of December 1888
into the room.

We were on the ground floor and
I could see out onto the street.  There was a small front garden and iron
railings about fifteen feet away from the window.  The first thing I noticed
was that there were no parked cars.  Stupid cow I thought, of course there are
no cars, but to see nothing at all on the street was very weird.  There was a
small park, also with iron railings and on the other side of it were more
houses; rather grand looking, with three floors, if you included the attic.

Further down the street I could
see a small group of people standing next to a horse and a low cart.  I
couldn’t quite see what they were doing, but they appeared to be buying
something.  Then I realised that the tall metal things on the cart were milk
churns.  It must be the milkman I thought, suppressing a giggle.

The room we were in was large. 
It had a high ceiling with ornate plaster coving and in the centre was a
chandelier, suspended from a rose.  I realised that this house must be the same
as those on the other side of the park.

“Wow! Are we rich in this
life?” I asked.

“No,” he laughed, “Never rich. 
We can’t mingle with the great and the good; or the great and the bad come to
that, because we might inadvertently influence something.  This is a ‘safe
house’ as we call it.  In a few days there will be a fire caused by a gas leak
and the interior will be gutted, destroying everything.  Last week a family was
living here, but they’ve moved away.  It will always exist for us, for this one
week and a day and here we have everything we need to blend into this time.”

As he stopped speaking, he let
his side of the curtain fall back down and became serious.

“Grace, we have to move with
the masses.  We can’t have big houses and servants and a fancy lifestyle, no
matter which time we go to; it would be too easy to find us.  Those social
circles are always narrow, even in your own time.  This house has servants, but
they only come in the afternoon to clean and air the place.  They also light
the fires for the new family they believe may arrive in the evening.  We try
not to meet them, not here or in any of the safe houses.”

It was my turn to laugh.

“Jack I wouldn’t know how to
fit into those circles in my time, let alone in any other.  I’ve always been
happy to be ordinary; I’ll just be happier being ordinary with you.  I’m sure
we won’t have any trouble finding some sort of work that won’t draw attention
to ourselves.  We’ll get by just fine, just you wait and see.”

“Ah, well there I do have some
good news.  I don’t think we’ll have to work, not as you mean it anyway.  Popping
back and forth in time means we will always have something to sell and there is
always money in the safe houses.  We should have enough to live modestly and
you can help me with my work.  I can carry on recording history as it happens,
for my own interest.”

I thought about what he’d said
and I liked the idea.  I knew very little about history, but this wasn’t going
to be dry dusty learning, spending hours in libraries or on the internet
researching this or that person or event.  This was going to be real
experience.

“You’re on!” I told him.  I
shall be your trusty assistant.  Where and when shall we start?”

“Well first of all,
we can’t set foot outside the door looking like this.  I suggest we adjourn
upstairs and find something more suitable to wear and then we need to find
ourselves somewhere to live.  That is if you’re happy to stay here for a while,
in 1888 I mean?”

“Seems as good a place as any
to begin our new life.” I said, taking his hand and dragging him to the door
and up the wide staircase.

It took ages to get kitted out. 
The wardrobes were overflowing with clothes, but in my size there were only two
options.  One dowdy black outfit and one dowdy brown one.  None of the clothes
were new.  Again, to avoid standing out.  I chose the brown one, because black
isn’t a colour I wear well and was pleased to find that once out of the
cupboard and in the light it was more coppery than brown and the fabric was a
little shiny, catching the light in a nice way.  There was some lace at the
neck and at the end of the three quarter length sleeves.  Jack’s knowledge of the
times was very useful, because I wouldn’t have put on half of what I ended up
wearing if it’d been left to me.