What a Wicked Earl Wants (32 page)

Bell paced his study. He’d told Colin and Harry to take Justin fishing. His friends had looked at him curiously, but they’d asked no questions. They knew him well enough to understand that something was awry.

Half an hour ago, the young doctor had arrived. Bell told him he thought his wife was with child. Last night, he’d remained calm for her sake, but he’d tossed and turned for hours. He’d told himself that it was unlikely she was pregnant. After all, she’d never conceived during her marriage. But her husband had been elderly, and she’d confessed that he thought his health was returning when he’d proposed to her.

He’d told himself that it was unlikely she would conceive because of her irregular cycles and because he’d only come inside her once. But even if it wasn’t probable, it was possible.

He knew nothing about the signs of pregnancy, but thinking back, he recalled Laura’s ever-present fatigue. Damn it all to hell. No wonder Laura had been acting oddly. She’d probably been scared witless.

Someone knocked on the door, startling him. He took a deep breath. “Enter,” he said.

The doctor walked inside, carrying a bag and smiling. “Congratulations, my lord. You will be a father by winter.”

His heart thudded in his chest.

“The approximate date is uncertain. Your wife’s cycles are irregular, so it’s a bit hard to determine. It’s early days yet as far as I can tell.”

He was breathing a little too fast. “She is with child?”

“Yes, and all looks well. The morning sickness usually passes after three months. Plain toast and weak tea when she awakens usually helps.”

“Thank you,” he said in a hoarse voice.

After the doctor left, Bell slowly sat in one of the chairs before his desk. His heart kept thumping. He was going to be a father. His chest tightened. He had to do his duty by her and the child.

He remembered that tiny gown she’d been embroidering for her sister. He’d told her she seemed like the sort who liked infants. She’d looked a little sad when she’d told him she was barren.

Sheer terror gripped him. He recalled the brute force of the pain when he’d lost his family. He’d decided never to wed because he couldn’t bear to love someone only to lose them again. God help him. He’d relived that horrific day countless times in nightmares.

But he couldn’t abandon Laura and the child. He had to overcome the fear, because she needed him. The unborn child needed him. He had to do what was right, because he wasn’t the only one who was scared.

A knock sounded. He walked over to the door as if he were in a fog. When he opened it, Laura stood there. Her face was pale. “Come in,” he said.

He led her to one of the chairs and sat beside her. “Laura, the doctor confirmed your pregnancy.”

She laced her fingers over her flat stomach. “All last night, I thought about what we should do.”

He had to shake off the shock. “I will go to London and get a special license.”

“It will be a marriage of convenience,” she said.

“Laura, don’t worry. I will do my duty by you and the child.”

“How can we forge a happy marriage under these circumstances?”

“We will make the best of it,” he said.

“You are only thinking of the immediate situation.” She looked at him. “But what happens after three months or six months when reality sets in?”

Something hot sizzled inside him. “We don’t have a choice.”

“You would not even commit to a friendship beyond the season,” she said.

His eyes blazed. “What happened to all your words about my being a good role model to your son? Do you think that I would not be a good father to our child?”

“I have thought about this a great deal, but to be fair, I’ve known longer than you what we were facing. And I remembered that you said there would never be a Lady Bellingham. You told me that you will never be a family man.”

“Circumstances changed. I will live up to my responsibilities.”

She looked at him. “Yes, I’m sure you will, and you will resent being tied down in a marriage you never wanted.”

“Damn it, Laura. You never wanted to be tied down, either, but this isn’t about us. It’s about our child. This is not what we planned, but we have a responsibility. What are your real objections? Because I know you haven’t told me what you’re really afraid of.”

“What happens after we marry?” she said. “What happens when you realize that you are trapped into a marriage you never wanted?”

He searched her eyes. “I’m not the one objecting. You are. Now tell me the truth. Why are you so hell-bent on making this more difficult? You know we must marry, and I have promised to do my duty by you and the child.”

Her eyes welled. “I know we must marry. The problem is you view it as a duty.”

“Laura, you know I care about you.”

“I’ve been married, and I will tell you that it takes commitment. Both husband and wife have to be willing to work through the problems during the hard times.”

“You have forgotten the commitment I made to you and Justin.”

“No, but I also have not forgotten the week you stayed away because you were getting in a bit deep, to use your words.”

“So you retract your forgiveness, Laura?”

She winced. “No.”

“Then for God’s sake, tell me why you are putting us through this misery?”

“Because I don’t know how we can sustain a marriage when you don’t love me.”

He went to his room and ordered his valet to pack a valise. First thing tomorrow, he would take a carriage to London and procure the special license. Then he went downstairs for luncheon. Everyone else was already seated at the table. Laura met his gaze and then lowered her eyes.

He took his place at the head of the table. “I have an urgent business matter in London. I must leave early tomorrow. I will return soon. Please feel free to stay.”

Harry and Colin exchanged glances. Then Colin cleared his throat. “We should probably return as well.”

Bell shook his head. “Stay. When I return, I will share news with you.”

No one said much during the meal. They hadn’t missed the charged atmosphere.

After luncheon ended, Bell approached Laura. “I wish to speak to you in my study.”

She nodded and took his arm.

He led her inside. “I will procure the license in London. When I return, we will marry. I imagine you wish to invite your family.”

“I am to blame for all of this,” she said. “I have burdened you with my problems and put you in an untenable position. You must regret that you ever met me.”

“No, Laura. I only regret that I have said and done things that led to this impasse. We will be forever bound by the child we have created. When I return, we will discuss how we will go on. We can choose to live in animosity or we can choose to work through our differences. I hope it is the latter, because I only ever wanted to make you happy. Now I don’t know if that is possible.”

“We have lived in each other’s pockets. I think the time apart will allow us both to reflect and gain perspective of all that has happened. I said things that were unfair, because I was frightened. But you are right. We are bound by our child, and we must find a way to create harmony between us.”

L
aura sat in the drawing room with Lady Atherton, who was embroidering a tiny gown for Laura’s baby. “Bellingham will return tomorrow with the special license. Have you decided what you will wear?”

She felt a pang in her heart. “Yes, I will wear the blue gown with the sheer overskirt and a bonnet with silk flowers.”

“My dear, why are you so unhappy? He is a good man, and he adores you.”

“I love him dearly, but I don’t know how we can find happiness when he does not return my feelings. I will always feel the pain.”

“Did you tell him that you love him?”

She hesitated. “I told him that I didn’t know how we could sustain a marriage when he doesn’t love me.”

“Oh, dear heaven,” Lady Atherton said. “He may not have said the words, but he has shown his love for you repeatedly. Look at everything he has done.”

“Do not mistake me. I am grateful to him, but he has never declared tender feelings. The most he has offered is friendship—and now marriage because of the child.”

Lady Atherton set her embroidery aside. “Men do not communicate with words. They demonstrate their feelings. When a woman lets her man know that he is the only one in the world she could ever want, he feels he can declare his feelings.”

Laura frowned. “Phillip—”

“Is gone,” Lady Atherton said. “You must not compare them. Can you imagine if Bellingham compared you to other women? How would you feel?”

“I never openly said it to him,” Laura said. “But he did say in a jovial way that he worried that he couldn’t compare to my quote ‘sainted husband.’”

“Laura, you are pushing him away because you are afraid that he doesn’t love you, and in doing so, you are undermining your marriage before it even starts. He is every bit as vulnerable as you are, but he’s a man, and he won’t admit it. I want you to promise me when he walks through the door that you will greet him with open arms. Tell him that you missed him terribly, because I know you have. And then take him upstairs and tell him you love him and cannot live without him. Trust me. He will reciprocate in kind.”

“You are right as always,” Laura said. “I have nothing to lose but my heart, and I already lost it to him.”

“My dear, I am positive he lost his heart to you many weeks ago.”

The next day

Bell stepped out of the carriage, wishing he hadn’t been so blind. If he’d only listened to her, really listened in the first place, he would have seen how simple the answer was. But he’d been stubborn and thought she knew how he felt about her. He’d told her he cared about her, but he’d been an idiot. He’d fallen short of the mark.

But he’d done something that he hoped would help make up for all of it. God, he was weary, but he was glad to be home. And he hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. He started up the steps when the door opened.

Laura ran right into his arms. “I missed you.”

Something in his chest unfurled, and he hugged her hard. “I missed you, too.”

“Come with me,” she said. “I want you all to myself.”

He laughed a little. “That’s an invitation I cannot resist.”

She gave him a sly smile. “Justin and your friends are fishing. Lady Atherton is taking her beauty nap.”

“Is there a reason you are telling me this?” he said as they walked up the stairs.

“Be patient.”

She led him inside her room, shut the door, and threw her arms around him. Then she kissed him deeply. His heart expanded, and all he knew was that he had to kiss her back. She opened for his tongue, and he was lost in the wondrous sensations that only she could excite in him.

Then she looked at him. “I want you—now.”

“Laura, darling, there’s something I want to tell you first.”

She caressed his cock through his trousers.

He inhaled and exhaled slowly. Then he caught her hand. “There’s something I forgot to do before I left.”

She looked at him quizzically.

He knelt on one knee. “I love you desperately. Will you marry me?”

Her eyes teared up a little. “I love you with all my heart, and I will marry you.”

“Thank goodness,” he said. “I invited your entire family to attend the wedding.”

She gasped. “Oh, you are so wonderful.”

“Your father will marry us.”

“Oh. Don’t tell him that we anticipated the wedding.”

He picked her up and set her on the edge of the mattress. “I amended one of the rules.”

“Oh?” she said.

“Rule number one,” he said. “Tell her you love her, because that’s the only rule that matters.”

B
ell’s stomach clenched. Laura had been in labor for six hours. He was scared witless that something would go wrong. He couldn’t bear it if he lost her and the babe.

Lady Atherton took him by the arm and led him to the sideboard. She poured a small amount of brandy into a glass. “Drink this to calm your nerves.”

Justin jiggled his leg. “How much longer?”

“Babies take their time,” Lady Atherton said. “Your grandmother and Aunt Rachel are with your mother. She will be fine.”

A horrible guttural cry sounded. It wasn’t the first time, either. Bell was so worried his mouth dried and his heart raced.

She cried out again for so long he thought she would burst something.

Then silence. All was silent. “Oh my God. She’s hurt.”

Then an infant squalled. Bell paced faster. The babe kept crying.

“Don’t worry,” Lady Atherton said. “They are making Laura presentable.”

“I don’t care. I just want to see my wife.”

Laura’s sister Rachel appeared at the landing. “You may come in now.”

He bounded up the stairs, and then he treaded into the room where his beautiful wife lay with a bundled up infant in her arms.

“We have a son,” she said.

His eyes misted as he watched Laura put the infant to her breast. He kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

“He is perfect,” she said.

“I wish to name him after my brother Steven.”

“I think that is a wonderful idea,” she said.

“If not for you, I would never have experienced such joy,” he said. “One day, I will tell him that it all started with his elder brother’s brandy flask.”

“You will do no such thing,” she said a bit faintly. “Do you want to hold him?”

“Yes.”

Laura showed him how to support their son’s head.

He walked about the room, grinning at Steven. “Once upon a time, there was a very wicked earl who fell in love with a very pretty lady. She lied through her teeth and said the wicked earl was her fiancé. He demanded a kiss, but the pretty lady put a magical spell on him. The wicked earl was no longer wicked, because he fell in love with the pretty lady.”

Bell returned to his wife’s side. “I love you, Laura. If not for you, I would be a very lonely man.”

She smiled. “My love, we were meant to be together.”