What a Wicked Earl Wants (31 page)

“Are you certain?”

“Yes,” she said. There was no point in telling him now. It would only add more stress to an already stressful situation.

T
wo weeks later, Laura smiled as Lady Atherton attempted to try her hand at archery once more. “I may be ancient, but I am determined to hit the bull’s-eye.”

“Run for your life, Brutus,” Bell called out.

“Careful or I’ll take aim at your derriere,” Lady Atherton said.

Justin pulled back his bow and hit the target dead center.

Bell walked over to Laura. She sat on a wrought-iron bench embroidering an infant gown. “Is that the same one you were working on during the journey?”

“No, this is a new one,” she said.

“How many gowns does an infant require?” Bell asked.

“You have never been around infants, have you?”

“No,” he said.

“They have the usual human needs, only they are unable to take care of them.”

“What do you mean?” he said.

She regarded him without smiling. “They soil their clothing.”

“Ah,” he said. “That would explain why the infant needs more than one gown.”

Justin shaded his eyes. “There’s a coach coming.”

“I suppose that would be Montclief,” Bell said.

Montclief strutted onto the grounds of Thornhill Park, slapping his gloves on his fat thighs.

He strode over to Laura. “I demand an explanation. You ran away with my nephew without consulting me. You will hand him over at this moment along with your key to Hollwood Abbey. Do not think to fool me this time or I will haul you before the courts.”

Harry looked at Colin. “I bet you five pounds Bellingham will kill him.”

“You don’t have five pounds,” Colin said.

“That’s why I made the wager,” Harry said.

Bell threw his fist into Montclief’s cheek.

Montclief fell to the ground, where he floundered, holding his hand to his cheek. “I’ll have you brought up on charges for assault.”

“I rather doubt it,” Bell said. “You have abused a lady. You threatened her without just cause. You also stole valuables from her home. You are not a gentleman. I feel very sorry for your children, who will probably find out that their father has a secret family.”

Montclief’s face turned crimson as he struggled to his feet. “Your information is false. Where did you hear this?”

“I am more than happy to read the entire report from an investigator I hired before all my guests and the local magistrate as well. The way I see it, you have two choices. You can fight me in a nasty public battle in the Court of Chancery for guardianship of Justin. However, I have solid proof that you have two illegitimate children and that you are morally bankrupt. I do not believe the court will judge you fit to be Justin’s guardian, especially since you have utterly failed in that capacity.

“On the other hand, you can spare both of your families and yourself scandal by giving up your guardianship. I have no doubt the courts will agree that I am a better guardian, given that I am the one who helped his mother look after him while you were dallying with a mistress.”

Montclief blustered. “Lies, all lies. You paid someone to make up the story.”

“All it would take is the investigator to produce the woman with whom you are living out of wedlock and the children,” he said. “Do you really want to be publicly humiliated in all of the papers?”

Montclief clenched and unclenched his hands. “He is my nephew.”

“I disavow all ties with you,” Justin said. “You are a terrible, selfish person.”

Bell took out his watch. “Montclief, you have ten minutes to vacate my property.”

Montclief’s nostrils flared, but he walked back to his carriage. Not long after, it departed.

Justin hugged his mother. “We’re free of him forever.”

Bell met Laura’s gaze.

“Thank you,” she said.

Late that evening

As everyone else drifted out of the drawing room, Bell asked Laura to stay behind. He sat beside her on the red sofa and took her hand. “Laura, you must be relieved knowing your son and his inheritance will be safe from Montclief.”

“I am,” she said. “Thank you for all that you have done for Justin and me. It turned out to be fortunate for me when you insisted upon bringing that flask.”

“I care very much for you and Justin,” he said. “But I’ve gone so long without caring about anyone except a few trusted friends. Yes, I am adept at politics and anything that requires logic and a cool head. It is easy to be bold when there is no one for whom you are responsible. I wanted it that way, and I lived a hedonistic life. I was cold and cynical. If not for my friends, I don’t know what would have happened. And then I met you, and gradually, without my even noticing, a part of me that had gone away came back.”

“I’m glad,” she said.

“I think it was because of you. When I first saw you, I was struck by you,” he said. “You have a sweet smile that is so rare. I just knew at that moment that I was intrigued. Then the next day I returned the flask, and you were clearly vexed by Montclief’s appearance. When you said I was your fiancé, I was amused at first, but Montclief proved himself so disgusting, I couldn’t deny your words.”

“I will be honest,” she said. “You turned my world upside down. I mean no disrespect to my late husband, but I was woefully ill-prepared for that wild kiss. Your head will no doubt swell when I tell you I relived that kiss for many nights.”

“The thing is I just leaped from one day to another,” he said. “I didn’t stop to think beyond how to entice you to my bed, but then I encountered your wayward son. I felt that if I didn’t step in, Montclief would surely take him. I never intended to become so involved in your lives. It was only very recently that I reflected over everything and realized I had…re-created a family.”

She looked at him. “What happened all those years ago when your family passed away?”

“I told you part of it previously. The doctor’s latest report sounded dire for the first time. Their previous ones had sounded serious but hopeful. Until that moment, I did not understand how bad it was. I was young and scared. All I wanted was oblivion. I went to the room of an acquaintance, and I drank a lot of gin. I was roaring drunk and passed out on a sofa.” He drew in a breath. “At dawn, I practically crawled back to my room. I don’t recall anything until I heard loud banging on my door. When I opened it, the officials at the university said they had been searching for me the night before and couldn’t find me. A coach was waiting.” He paused. “They said I must rush home, because my parents and my brother had taken a bad turn. I had not seen them for two years. When I got home, I saw the straw at the door.”

He leaned forward and stared at the carpet. “I was too late.”

She set her hand on his arm. “That is why you feel guilty.”

“I fell on my knees on the straw. I must have shouted out, because the door opened. My father’s friend led me inside. There were three doctors. They tried to give me laudanum. I threw it on the floor.” He swallowed hard. “I was furious with the doctors for not telling me the truth earlier. I blamed them, because I had not seen my mother, father, and brother for two years.” He gritted his teeth. “They said it was for the best, because I was the heir.”

Laura’s heart ached for him. Now she understood why he’d never wanted to marry and have a family. “You did not have a chance to say good-bye.”

“I was so numb I didn’t know what to do. I think I was in disbelief. Then the coroner came, and all of a sudden, I felt as if I were suffocating. The doctors feared that I had become ill, but it was a reaction to the sudden shock. That same evening, my friends Will and Fordham came to the town house. I had thrown everyone else out, save the servants. My friends knew I was in bad shape, so they took me to Fordham’s rooms. They plied me with brandy, because they did not know what else to do. They sat with me and did not leave me. I have no idea how much time went by before all the grief welled up in me. I wept, horrible sobbing cries for so long that I lost my voice.

“By the time I returned to England, I was a shell of my former self. You know the rest. My raking and the women. I didn’t want to feel anything. I hated it when people asked why I’d been gone so long. I despised the lurid curiosity. I especially hated the stupid things they would say, that it was God’s will or it was their time. I refused to speak about any of it. Anyone who even dared to mention my family got the cut direct. I wanted to forget, but I can’t. I have nightmares where I relive that day. I never know when they will strike.” He sat back and looked at her. “I can never escape it.”

“You had no time to prepare for their deaths,” she said. “Losing all of your family was a cruel blow. The doctors probably thought they were doing the right thing by shielding you, but your anger was understandable. You had no family to surround you in your time of grief, but you had friends who cared and made sure you were not alone.”

“I don’t know how I would have gone on without them,” he said.

“I will tell you from my own experience that even knowing that the end is near, there is still shock when a loved one passes. I, too, felt numb at first, and then I kept encountering reminders of Phillip. It was the mundane items—a comb, a quizzing glass, a shaving brush—that tore my heart to pieces. The hardest part for me isn’t the memories. It’s that the sound of his voice has faded.”

She took his hand. “I understand your guilt. I felt guilty, too. More than once when Phillip was in pain and being obstinate, I cut up at him. After he died, I cried because I ought to have been more understanding.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “I know you feel that you failed your family, but given the circumstances, you could not have known.

“I think the reason you feel there is no resolution is because you had no chance to see them again. I may be wrong, but I know this much, for I have observed it firsthand.” She blinked back the tears. “A part of your father lives within you. From the beginning, you knew how to manage Justin. While I believe I could have nipped his rebellion on my own, I was always grateful for your advice and for the time you took to be the male role model he desperately needed.”

He put his arms around her and hugged her hard. “Thank you.”

When he released her, the clock struck midnight. “It is late,” she said.

“Laura, you said there is something important you must tell me.”

She hesitated. It would be so hard to tell him. One more day would make no difference. “We are both emotionally drained. Tomorrow would be better.”

His brows drew together. “Why are you procrastinating?”

“It is not something you will welcome.” She was afraid, but she could no longer delay.

“You are leaving,” he said.

“There is no longer a reason to stay. I plan to take Justin home to Hampshire as soon as transportation can be arranged.”

“I insist on taking you back to London.”

“I appreciate your offer, but I need to go home.”

“Come back to London with me,” he said. “I never took you to the opera.”

“I can’t,” she said.

“Of course you can. I want to spend as much time with you as possible before I leave on my journey.”

Her heart beat hard. He had a right to know. “There is something else I have to tell you, but I’m not sure this is the right time.”

“There usually is no right time. Something is wrong. You have not been yourself since the moment we arrived here. At first I thought it was Montclief, but obviously that is not what troubles you now.”

Her nerves got the best of her, but she had to tell him. She couldn’t even imagine his reaction, but the longer she waited, the harder it would be. “I…I am not barren.”

He frowned. “What?”

She’d said it all wrong, because she was nervous. “Do you remember the night I told you there was very little chance that I would c-conceive?”

His lips parted. He said nothing for a full minute.

Her heart drummed in her ears.
I’m so sorry. I know you don’t want this.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m with child,” she whispered.

He stared at her as if he were in shock. “Are you certain? You have not seen a doctor. You didn’t conceive during your marriage.”

“I have all of the signs.” She gripped her hands so he wouldn’t see them tremble.

He shook his head slowly. “It was only the one time that I…”

“I could submit to an examination, but I…I am sure of it,” she said.

“Laura, I will send for a doctor tomorrow.”

“No, I don’t want Justin to worry that I’m ill. He took it so hard when Phillip died.”

“I will tell him that you were feeling nauseous, but it’s nothing to worry about.” He raked his hand through his hair. “God, I never expected this.”

“Neither did I.”

“Don’t worry. If you are pregnant, I will get a special license.”

Misery welled up in her chest. She thought about that bright sunny day when Phillip had taken her for a walk and got down on one knee. He’d told her that he loved her and couldn’t live without her.

“Laura, if you are increasing, I will take care of you and our child.”

She looked at her lap.

“I know it’s not what either of us wanted,” he said, “but let’s not assume the worst. We will get the verdict from the doctor tomorrow.”

He’d referred to their child as the worst possible outcome. She blinked back tears. He didn’t even know that his words had cut her heart to pieces.

“Don’t worry. I won’t abandon you.”

“You have plans to journey with your friends.”

“Laura, I can see that you’re overset, with good reason, but you could be worrying for nothing.”

“You don’t want to marry.”

“I know you never planned on marriage, either, but try not to worry.”

Her words had blown back in her face, and now she couldn’t take them back.

“One step at a time,” he said. “Tomorrow we will know one way or the other.”

She didn’t need a doctor to tell her what she already knew.

He squeezed her hand. “I suspect that your symptoms might well be the consequence of vexation. You’ve had ample reason to worry about Montclief, but your son is safe now.”

She knew that wasn’t the case, but he was denying the possibility because he didn’t want to face the consequences. Neither did she.