Westward Dreams (10 page)

              He bumped her knee a little with his and she looked up at him.  Owl gave her a tiny shake of his head and she nodded back the same way.  He Who Runs saw this and approved of Owl teaching Hannah their customs.  Hannah noticed movement behind Black Fox and saw a white, brunette in an Indian dress sneaking up behind him.

              Black Fox said, “Hello, Fawn.”

              Claire cursed and they all laughed.  She embraced Black Fox from behind and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

              “I have missed you, brother,” she said and squeezed him tight.

              Black Fox laughed, “And I you, sister.  Are you well?”

              Emotion overcame Claire and she just nodded.  She missed Marcus so much and having his other family close again touched that nerve a little.  Yet it was also a balm to her.  Tears stung her eyes and Black Fox drew her around to sit beside him.  He put an arm around her and held her against his side.

              “It has been hard to be apart from him so long,” he said.  “I know how you feel.”

              Claire sniffed and tried to stop crying.  “I’ll be so happy to see him.  I can’t wait for him to graduate and come back home again.  Then he’ll be home for good,” she said.  Black Fox’s presence was comforting to her and she was able to compose herself.  “Sorry about that.”

              Black Fox shook her a little.  “It’s fine.  Do not worry, Fawn.  How is our doctor?”

              “He’s homesick, but he’s really enjoyed his classes and other work, too,” she looked across the circle and saw Hannah.  “Oh, hello, Hannah.  I didn’t mean to be so rude.  I just got caught up missing Marcus.”

              “It’s ok. I understand, Claire,” Hannah said with a smile.  “How’s Aiyana?”

              “She’s feeling much better and I’m sure she will be here very shortly to see her uncles,” Claire said.

              He Who Runs reached over and grasped Claire’s arm and pulled her over to him and hugged her.  She laughed the whole time and resisted him.  It was a game they always played whenever they saw each other.  She would pretend to ignore him and see how long it took for him to grab her.  It usually wasn’t very long.

              “Were you not going to greet your other brother?” He Who Runs asked and started to tickle Claire.

              “Yes!  Yes!  Stop!  Stop!” Claire yelled. 

              He Who Runs released her while he laughed.

              Hannah watched them in fascination.  That the warrior who had looked so serious had such a playful side was remarkable to her.  Black Fox grunted as Aiyana pounced on him from behind.  Like her father, she had a knack for sneaking up on people.  It irritated Claire that she couldn’t master the art, but her five-year-old daughter had.

              The beautiful child began chattering a mile a minute at the chief and he laughed as he told her to slow down so he could understand her.  Owl laughed when she blew a raspberry against her uncle’s cheek.  Then she gave He Who Runs the same treatment.

              Soon a whole bunch of children descended on them and things became chaotic.  Whereas white children were sometimes scolded for boisterous behavior, the Lakota children were played with and then gently guided to grow calmer. Then they all ran away again and the adults smiled as they watched them go.

              Hannah looked at Owl and saw the wistful expression on his face as he followed their progress.  She could almost feel his pain and wished she could help him in some way.  If they hadn’t been around so many other people, she would have taken his hand and said something comforting but she didn’t feel that it would appropriate at the moment.

              Wind Spirit rose and began mixing various ingredients for stew.  She put them into a deer hide cooking container and added water.  Hannah watched all of this with great interest.  Wind Spirit put the soup on to cook and then sat back again.  Owl was pleased that Hannah was curious about such things.

              Owl stood up and said, “Come with me,” to Hannah.

              Hannah followed Owl and said, “Where are we going?”

              “I show you my tipi,” he said. 

She was looking forward to seeing his home.  She’d never been in a tipi before.

              Owl said, “This one is mine.”

              There were various symbols painted on the outside and she wondered what they meant.  Owl opened the flap and motioned her through.  Hannah looked around at everything.  A colorful sleeping pallet lay on the floor and various hide containers lined one side of the circular tipi wall.  A bow and a quiver of arrows sat along another section.  She hadn’t thought about Owl using weapons until she saw them. 

              It suddenly occurred to her that he must have ridden along on raids and she wondered if he’d ever killed anyone.  It was hard to equate the Owl she knew with a man who could be violent.  Of course, she didn’t know him all that well yet, but she felt completely safe with him. 

Owl let her absorb it all and sat down.  He tried to gauge her reaction but was having trouble reading her.  Hannah sat down by him and said, “This is fascinating.  I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Owl smiled.  “They do not have these in city.”

“No, they don’t.  I like it,” she said.

“Really?”

She gave him a sidelong glance and said, “Yes, really.”

“Good.  My brothers like you.  Wind Spirit, too.  Raven thinks you are pretty,” Owl said.

“He’s so cute.  All of the children are.  I’m so glad they like me.  I was worried,” Hannah said.

“I know.  Told you would be ok,” Owl said.

Hannah got quiet.  She didn’t know how to ask her question without seeming forward.  Owl wondered at her silence but didn’t push.  Judging by the expression on her face, she was going through some kind of internal struggle.

Then she looked at him and asked, “Owl, why are you showing me all of this?  Why did you want me to meet your family?”

              Owl thought about how he was going to answer that.  “You important to me.  You should know about me.  See how I live.”

              She smiled.  “You’re important to me, too.  I’m not sure how that happened so quickly.”

              He shrugged.  “Does time matter?  It same for Sammi and me.  We were friends quick.  Not quite same thing.”

              Hannah said, “I don’t know.  We’re taught to take things slowly and really know someone before getting serious.”

              Owl pondered that for a moment.  He was in a dilemma.  How could he assure her of anything when he had questions of his own?  His conversation with Dean came back to him.  He knew Dean was right about Hannah not going with them over the winter and if they were to ever marry, he wouldn’t want to be away from her for that long.  And if they had children, there would be no way he would separate them from either parent. 

              Then there was the problem of where they would live in the winter.  She wasn’t going to live in a tipi over the cold months and he hated houses.  Black Fox was right; it was complicated.  He didn’t have answers at the moment.  All he knew was that he thought about her the whole time they were apart and was so happy when he saw her again.

              He said, “I see what you mean.  We take it slow, ok?”

              Hannah smiled and said, “Ok, but not too slow.” 

She rose up on her knees and kissed him.  Owl was swift to respond.  He slid his hands around her waist and pressed her closer.  She buried her fingers in his hair.  It was so soft and fascinated her.  She’d never been around a man who had long hair like Owl’s and she had wondered what it felt like when she’d first met him. 

Owl wanted her with an intensity he’d never felt before.  She was soft and warm and smelled like some kind of flower.  Her hands left his hair and ran down over his chest and reveled in his hard muscles under her palms.  His hands roamed her back and Owl groaned when she caressed his sides.

Suddenly he grabbed her hands and broke off the kiss. Looking in her eyes he said, “Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen with us.  I can’t make promises, but I know that you drive me crazy and I haven’t felt this way in so long and I’m scared to feel this way and I’m scared not to.  That doesn’t make sense, but that’s how I feel.”

Hannah was looking at him in confusion and he realized that he’d been speaking in Lakota.  He started laughing because he hadn’t known it.  She had him so stirred up that he couldn’t think straight. 

Hannah smiled at him uncertainly and he said, “Sorry.  Forgot to speak English.  You drive me crazy.  So much to say, but do not know how.”

She nodded. “I think we feel the same way.”

“Be right back,” he said and ran out of the tipi.

He ran through camp until he found Claire at the tipi she shared with Marcus.

“Can you please come with me?” he said in Lakota.  Claire was now fluent in the language and he needed help.

“Sure, Owl.”

“Thanks.  I need you to translate for me and please not tell anyone, even your husband.  If this wasn’t so important I wouldn’t involve anyone, but it’s necessary.  I’ve got to work harder on my English because it’s going to be a while until she understands Lakota well enough. I’ve got a head start on her.”

“You’re talking about Hannah?” Claire asked.

“Yes.  I know I can trust you,” Owl said as they ducked into the tipi.  He didn’t want to be disturbed so he went back outside and placed two sticks crossed over each other on the ground in front of his tipi so everyone would know to leave them alone.

Hannah saw Claire and was confused.

Claire smiled at her and said, “Owl wants me to translate for him.  So you just look at him and try to forget I’m here.  Marcus and I do this a lot for the tribe.  I won’t tell a soul anything that’s said here, ok?”

Hannah wanted to know what he wanted to say to her and knew this was the best way for that to happen.  “Ok.”  She didn’t look at Claire anymore.  Hannah gave Owl her full attention.

He took a deep breath and let it out.  “I once told Sammi that there are people you come across in life that you make an instant connection with.  Like I told you, Sammi and I connected that way, but not romantically.  It was like somewhere in the past, we had been family and had found each other again.  There’s no other way to explain it.”

“I feel that way with you.  We’re so different, but it doesn’t matter to me.  I can’t predict the future.  I was trying to tell you that it wouldn’t be fair for me to make promises.”  Owl smiled and continued, “Ever since the day I caught you and kept you from falling in the mud, I kept thinking about you.  It’s crazy how much I care about you already.  You asked me why I’m showing all this to you and that’s why.  I want you to know everything about me and bringing you here is the best way to do that.”

              “I’m sure you’re sort of scared and so am I.  I don’t want to get hurt, but I don’t want to pass up something that could be wonderful and lasting.  Most of all, though, I want to make you happy and I would never intentionally hurt you,” Owl said.

              Hannah said, “I thought I was the crazy one.  I kept telling myself that I was because I felt that connection you’re talking about, but I thought it was one-sided.  I
am
scared, but I took a risk in coming here and I’m willing to take more risks where you’re concerned.  You do make me happy and I don’t want to hurt you, either.  Nobody knows what the future holds, but we can figure it out together.”

              Claire finished translating and saw from the way they were looking at each other that she was no longer needed.  She quietly left the tipi and neither one of them noticed.

              As Owl rode back to the hotel with Hannah that evening, they talked about the day and laughed at all sorts of things.  Since their talk that afternoon, they shared a new closeness.  Hannah had enjoyed meeting his family and didn’t feel apprehensive about them any longer.  They had been friendly and kind.  She smiled as she thought about what some of her friends from Cleveland would say if they could see her spending time with Lakotas in their camp.

              Owl was thrilled with the way everything had turned out and was thankful to his family for making Hannah feel comfortable.  He could tell that she’d had fun. 

              Owl sighed.  He wished that Hannah could have stayed with him, but she wouldn’t have felt it proper.  He gazed at her and was pleased to see how comfortable she looked on her horse.  She had caught on to riding bareback fairly quickly.  She looked over at him and saw him watching her.

              “What?” she asked.

              “You are beautiful,” Owl said.

              She smiled and said, “I’m glad you think so.”

              “I do.  I work harder on English,” he said.  “Want to talk better.”

              She nodded and said, “I want to work on my Lakota, too.  That way I’ll know what you’re saying, but also your family and friends.”

              He reached for her hand and when she gave it to him he said, “It make me happy you want to learn.”

              “Of course, I do.  It’s only fair.  Besides, I’m very curious about everything to do with your culture.  It’s best that I learn so I don’t offend anyone,” Hannah said.

              When they were nearing the hotel, Owl said, “Follow me.”

              They turned down a street that led to the livery stable.  Owl stopped in front of it and dismounted.  He had Hannah do the same.

              “Why are we here, Owl?” she said.

              He patted her mare and said, “This your horse now.  She is good horse.  Keep her here.”

              Hannah’s face wore a shocked expression.  “Owl, I can’t take your horse.”

              “You not take, I give to you.  A gift.  Please take it,” Owl said.

              Hannah swallowed hard and said, “All right.  Thank you so much.  I’ll take good care of her.”

              “I know,” Owl said.

              Tommy, one of the livery grooms, came to take Hannah’s horse.  Owl insisted on paying enough to cover the mare’s board for a week.

              Once the mare was handed over, Owl walked with her and Swift to the hotel.  As they drew close, Hannah said, “I’m going to have to find a place to live.  I’d like to be able to cook and have somewhere more private than this hotel.”

              Everything in Owl wanted to tell her she could come live with him, but that wasn’t possible since they weren’t married.  Also, she was better off closer to her work.  Owl knew her job was very important to the town and it would take her longer to get to the doctor’s office every day.

              Instead he said, “Yes.  That be good for you.”

              Hannah said, “I’ll start looking tomorrow.”

              They reached the hotel and neither of them wanted to leave the other.  When Owl kissed her goodnight, it felt more intimate.  When they slowly broke apart, it took every ounce of restraint for Hannah to not ask him to come to her room.

              “Goodnight, Hannah,” Owl said with a smile.

              Hannah’s heart was pounding from his kisses.  “Goodnight, Owl,’ she said a little breathlessly.

              As always, he watched her go in to be sure she was safe.  When Owl turned towards home, his mind was spinning as he tried to figure some things out.  Dean’s words kept coming back to him and he knew that he was going to have to make a decision soon about what he was willing to do to be with Hannah.

              He sighed as he turned down the trail towards the camp.  Owl wanted desperately to talk with Marcus about this and decided to have Claire translate a letter for him and also talk to her about what she thought about the situation.

              The next day at work was very busy again for Hannah.  Around one o’clock, Doc made Hannah take a break and go get something to eat.  She was disappointed that Owl wasn’t outside when she left the office, but she knew she couldn’t expect him to wait for her all the time.  She knew he had other things to do.

              She walked over to the sheriff’s office to see if Sammi was around, but Jack told her that Sammi was out on patrol.  A sudden thought came to her; maybe Claire would be at the schoolhouse.  Hannah wanted to get to know Claire better and it also occurred to her that Claire would have some unique insights about her relationship with Owl.

              Hannah was happy to see Claire sitting at a large desk at the front of the classroom.  She looked around at the inside of the school and thought it was a wonderful building.  Claire heard footsteps and looked up from the work she was grading to see Hannah coming her way.

              “Hello, Hannah,” she said with a smile.  “How are you?”

              “Hello, Claire.  I’m fine, thank you.  Are you too busy to chat a little?” Hannah asked.  She didn’t want to take Claire away from her work if it wasn’t a good time.

              “No, I’m not too busy.  A break will do me good.  Please have a seat,” Claire said.  “What’s on your mind?”

              Hannah pulled a chair over closer to Claire and sat down.  “What was it like when you and Marcus became involved?  I mean, was it hard for you to get used to things?”

              Claire smiled as she remembered their tumultuous engagement.  “I first met Marcus when I was eighteen.  I came here for my sister Maddie’s wedding to Seth, Marcus’ oldest brother.  I saw him and fell in love instantly.  He was so handsome with his black hair and gray eyes.  I overheard him say something about me that hurt my feelings.  So I became antagonistic towards him to cover my real feelings for him.”

              “When I came back here for a visit three years later, Marcus was in a panic.  The night before I arrived, he’d found out that he had a daughter he knew nothing about.  He told me about the baby, who was three-quarters Lakota and that he was half Lakota.  His brothers didn’t know about any of this.  He needed help telling his family about Aiyana and he needed help raising her.  I wanted to marry him so I didn’t have to go back to Pittsburgh.  So we struck a deal and helped each other.”

              Hannah’s eyes grew wide.  “You got him to marry you that way?”

              Claire laughed.  “I know.  It was sneaky of me, but along the way, we truly fell in love.  I’d always hoped he would come to love me, but I never dreamed of how happy we would be.  The morning after we became engaged, he told me that I was Aiyana’s mother now.  I love her so much and I’ve always been proud that he would entrust her to me.”

              Hannah asked, “Was it hard to get used to their way of life?”

              “With some things, yes.  The women do everything and a good wife takes offense if a man tries to help her with something.  It’s all right for a woman to offer assistance and often if a man has two or more wives, they split the work and it makes it easier on them,” Claire said.

              “Some of them have more than one wife?  Has Marcus ever wanted to have another wife?” Hannah asked.  She couldn’t help being curious.

              Claire chuckled.  “No.  I told him long ago that if he ever tried to get another wife, I would leave him.  It's never been an issue though.  I know he loves me and has no interest in anyone else.”  Claire pondered whether to ask a question and decide to go ahead.  “Hannah, is it serious with Owl?”

              Hannah said, “Yes, I think it is.  I mean, you know the things we said to each other yesterday.”

              Claire said, “Yes and I will never tell anyone about your conversation.  I think that was the most I’ve ever heard Owl speak at one time.  He’s not always very vocal.  You need to think about something.  His family leaves for the winter around the beginning of October and doesn’t usually return until May.  You’ve just moved here and you have an important new job. Are you willing to uproot your life to go with him when they go south?”

              Hannah blinked a few times.  She hadn’t thought about that before.  Hannah felt stupid because it had never dawned on her that Owl would leave with his family in the fall and she would be left behind.  There was no way she could go with them.

              She looked at Claire and Claire saw dismay and fear in her eyes.  “I’m sorry to have brought it up, but I don’t want either of you to get hurt.  I love Owl and I like you.  I want nothing more than for the two of you to be happy, but there are some things you need to consider.”

              Hannah nodded her understanding.  “Thank you.  I didn’t think about them traveling south for the winter.  I should have, though.”  She felt stupid.

              Claire was full of sympathy for her.  She hadn’t been in that position with Marcus because there was no way he would ever leave with his Lakota family.  It was a different story with Owl, however.  It was going to be hard for Hannah to deal with the fact that any future they might have together depended on him.

              She smiled and said, “I wouldn’t worry about it just yet.  Just see what happens.  I do know that you make him very happy and it’s obvious that he makes you happy.”

              Hannah smiled.  “Yes, he does.  He’s so thoughtful and funny.  Is Marcus like that?”

              Claire laughed.  “Marcus is a mess.  He can talk circles around you and make you feel three different emotions in a five minute time span.  It’s his high intellect.  He seems to need to keep his mind busy.  Marcus also tends to be more sensitive than any of his brothers.  Marcus makes no secret of his feelings.  He’s a wonderful husband and father.  Oh, I miss him so much.”

              “I’m sure you do.  I can’t wait to meet him,” Hannah said with a smile.

              “You may regret those words once you do,” Claire joked.

              “Thank you for talking to me about all of this.  I appreciate it very much,” Hannah said.

              Claire said, “We should have lunch tomorrow.  About the same time?”

              Hannah smiled.  “I’d love that.  Thank you.  Well, I’ll let you get back to work.  Have a good day.”

              “You, too,” Claire said.  She watched Hannah leave and tried to shake off her feelings of trepidation regarding Hannah and Owl.

              Owl was furious.  He’d been attempting to shoot his bow and was not having success.  He was right-handed so he had no trouble pulling back the bowstring, but his left shoulder protested holding the bow so much that he couldn’t keep it still.  Therefore, his aim was off every time he shot.  He must have fired off twenty shots and only hit the target twice. 

Not only that, but now the area under his shoulder blade burned and throbbed.  The pain extended part of the way down his spine.  He raised the bow again and felt his arm begin to tremble right away.  Sweat trickled down his forehead as he desperately tried to take aim.  Once again the arrow went wide and missed the target completely.

With an angry roar, Owl hurled his bow into the trees and stood panting from pain and frustration.  He Who Runs looked on with concern.  Owl was one of the best archers they had, but it was apparent that there was still something very wrong with his shoulder.  Normally Owl would have made every shot and most of them would have been bull’s eyes. 

That Owl hadn’t even made one was shocking.  He Who Runs’ stepped over to his brother and said, “Maybe it’s just going to take a little more time to heal and build the muscles back up.”

Owl said, “I don’t have more time.  Our summer hunting season is here and I need to be able to hunt.  If I can’t hunt and do my part, what good am I?”

He Who Runs said, “There’s still time.  It’s early in the season.  I know it has to be hard, but try to be patient.  Don’t push your shoulder because you could damage it more.”

“Ok.  Fine,” Owl said, but it was clear that he was unhappy.  “If it doesn’t heal right and I can’t shoot anymore, what am I going to do?  How am I going to provide food and protect our women and children?  I have to think about it, He Who Runs.  What will I do?”

His brother sighed.  “I don’t know.  We’re going to have to wait and see.  Maybe when Silver Ghost gets back, he’ll know something else to do for it.”

“I hope so,” Owl said dejectedly as he went to retrieve his bow from the woods.

He Who Runs left Owl then.  He knew that Owl preferred to be alone when he was so upset.

As soon as Hannah saw Owl sitting in the waiting room of the office, she knew something was wrong.  He leaned back in a chair with his eyes closed and held his left shoulder.

“Owl?”

He opened his eyes and attempted to smile at her.  “Hi,” he said.

“Hi.  What’s wrong?” she asked.

Owl rose from the chair and the severity of his pain was evident in his eyes.  “Too much practice.  Bow and arrow.”