Welcome to New Haven (34 page)

“I guess.
 
Have you spoken to her about Saturday?”
 
Alex had seen Dev, briefly, the day before but he’d been in his room, drawing, for most of the day.
 

They’d barely spoken at dinner, what with his yawning at the table and subsequent exit to try to get some sleep.
 

“Only
on
Saturday.
 
She just said that she wanted to stay home yesterday, with it being Em’s last day with her for a while.”
 

“Uh huh.” He replied as he was thinking about how Holly felt in his arms.
 

“Ooh I forgot to mention…” Said Dev, and Alex became hopeful that Holly had said something about him.
 
“…She said she’ll wash your shirt and give it back.”
 

“What?!
 
She can keep it! If she wants to…that is” Alex had wanted Holly to have his shirt, then she would have something to remind her of him. Her returning it…he assumed she didn’t want that.
 

“I told her that and she said that she borrowed it so she needs to give it back.
 
Did you
tell
her to keep it?” Dev asked with a small frown.
 

“Um, No. I just said she could use mine.” He replied, realizing that he hadn’t
actually
told Holly that she could have it.
 

“Well there you go. That’s why she won’t”
 
Alex thought about it and decided he may just like it back.
 

She’ll have to give it to
me
, and it’ll smell like her….Hopefully.

When they gathered together, for lunch that afternoon, Alex was quiet and Ryan wasn’t his usually chatty self either.
 
Riss and Kayla had tried to keep the conversations going by talking about how Nick being in town was nice for Ryan.
 
He’d just nodded his head.
 

“What’s up Ryan?” Riss asked. “Holly’s not mad at you, you know.”
 

“I know.” He said quietly. “That doesn’t mean I don’t feel shitty about what happened.”
 

“So you should.” Commented Alex.
 

“Come on, Alex” Ben said. “He’s sorry, Holly forgave him and he’s already beating himself up over it. Dude…it’s over.”
 

“Did you see the look on her face as she was gasping for breath?
 
Or her panic attack, and feel her shaking?” Alex said through a clenched jaw.
 

“No, Man.” Said Ben, shaking his head.
 
“
You
did because
you
got her out.
 
You
helped her.
 
We
stood around not knowing what the
fuck
was happening.
 
So you should blame all of us.”
 

“It wasn’t all of you who threw her in though.” Said Alex.
 

“No it wasn’t.” Kyle cut in.
 
“But if Ryan hadn’t gotten there first, I was going to.”
 

“What the fuck?!” Said Alex, getting angrier.
 

“Alex…” Dev placed her hand on his arm to calm him. “You have to realize that nobody knew about Holly’s phobia.
 
Even us girls didn’t know.
 
Just Emily and you, and only because you heard the coaches talk about it.“
 

Alex calmed when he realized she was right. They weren’t to know.
 
Ryan hadn’t meant to scare her.
 

“I guess so.” He said, finally.
 
“
Nobody
pulls any shit like that again, got it?” His voice was threatening as he pointed at everyone.
 

“Got it.” They said.

“So, when’s the wedding?” asked Kayla.
 

“Huh?” Alex said, and heat rose to his cheeks.
 

“The wedding.” Repeated Riss. “You’re very protective over our Holly.
 
A lot more than usual for a ‘friend’” she held up her fingers to air quote.
 

Alex and Dev looked at each other.
 

“What are we missing?” Riss and Kayla asked together.
 

“It’s a bit obvious dude.” Said Kyle.

Alex scrubbed his face.
 

“You like Holly.” Said Kayla in a matter-of-fact way. “You think we couldn’t tell?”

“I knew it anyway” added Riss with a smile. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”
 
She said to Alex.
 

“But does
she
know that?” asked Kayla.
 

“No.” Dev said, which made Alex look at her with surprise that she’d admitted he liked Holly.

“Oh come on, Alex, they’re not blind.” Dev said in defense.
 

“You haven’t said anything?” Riss and Kayla said at the same time.
 

“Alex applied ‘the code’” Dev said as she narrowed her eyes at her brother.

Both girls gasped in shock.
 

“Alex, how
could
you?” Said Riss.
 

“We
live
for this!” Said Kayla.
 

Ben looked towards Alex with a
very
smug grin.
 

“Told you dude.” He said.
 
Alex groaned as he ran his hands over his face again.
 

“Maybe you should just tell her.” Said Kayla as she shrugged her shoulders.
 
Alex shook his head. Kyle and Ryan were both looking at Kayla and Riss. Alex saw that Dev noticed when she spoke up.
 

“I don’t know what it is with guys.”
 

“What do you mean?” asked Ryan as he turned to her.
 

“Well, liking a girl, a lot, and not wanting her to know.
 
I mean, what if a girl likes a guy back? Is he just going to wait until it’s too late and she ends up with somebody else?”
 

“What about girls telling guys then?” asked Ben crossing his arms and leaning them on the table to look closer to Dev. “If a girl feels the same, shouldn’t she let the guy know?”
 

The group looked between them as if sensing there was more to it than that.
 
Alex scowled a little.
 

“Well…It’s different for girls.”
 

“How so?” asked Ben.

This is getting interesting. I may find out something useful here.
Alex thought even though he wasn’t liking the personal feel of the conversation between his sister and friend.
 

“Obviously
some
girls don’t have a problem going after guys…” She said “…But you know, we do worry about rejection and the repercussions.”
 

“Repercussions?” Ben asked, confused.
 

“Yes. With guys they may get a -Dev put on a mock male voice- ‘burn’ from other guys, but girls will have nasty snide comments from other girls.”
 

“That’s true” Riss agreed.
 
“Nobody made fun of Jake after he asked Holly out.”
 

Alex’s head snapped to Riss and then Dev.
 

“She said ‘no’, obviously, but you always hear gossip about other girls getting turned down.
 
Stacey’s no exception, even though she’s queen bitch.”
 

“So true.” Agreed Kayla, nodding her head.
 

“So…let me get this straight…” Ben said in a condescending tone “…girls are more worried about what
other
people think?”
 

“Not really.” Replied Dev. “It’s a lot to do with humiliation from the guy she has feelings for.
 
Especially if he just thinks of her as a ‘friend’. Crossing that line and possibly ruining their relationship is a huge risk for a girl. Guys seem to get over that quicker.”
 

Dev narrowed her eyes and sat back.
 
Pleased with her explanation.
 

Alex was paying close attention to what his sister and Ben were talking about.
 
He had a feeling that it was getting a
lot
more personal than he liked.
 

“They
seem
to.” Ben continued. “That doesn’t mean they don’t feel the same hurt.
 
They just don’t show it.
 
Guys don’t want to look weak
and
lose a friend.”
 

It was Ben’s turn to sit back with a smile.
 
Every one of them were looking between them like they were at a tennis match.
 

“Is that true?” Alex turned to ask Riss and Kayla. He saw that Ben and Dev were still glaring at each other, and he didn’t want to start up another fight between them. Was Holly scared that he would turn her away?
 

“Yeah. Look at how you shoot Stacey down.” Said Riss.
 

“But that’s Stacey!” He almost shouted.
 
“I wouldn’t want to be her
friend
let alone…ugh.” He made a face and sound of disgust, and the guys did too.
 

“Trust me…” Said Kayla.
 
“Being the one in that position…it doesn’t matter who a guy turns down.
 
A girl, a nice girl…” Kayla emphasized “…will think she’ll get turned down too.”
 

“Maybe not as harsh, but definitely turned down.” Added Riss.
 

 
The girls all nodded their agreement.
 

“Besides…” Ryan spoke up.
 
Holly’s new, you’re not.
 
You know what the kids are like at this school.
 
You’ve turned down
God knows
how many girls.
 
If Holly does have feelings for you, that’d be scary just by itself.”
 

There were comments of agreement around the table as Alex thought about what Ryan had said.
 
He’d made sense, but he wasn’t off his shit list just yet.
 

“Fair enough.” He said.
 
“But you guys need to stay out of it though.”
 

“What?! Hell no!”
 
said Riss.
 

“Yes. If I want to tell her, I’ll tell her myself on my own terms.
 
The last thing I want is gossip flying around the school.
 
Got it?”
 

“You’re no fun” grumbled Riss.
 

“Party pooper.” Said Kayla with a scowl.
 

“You have
no
idea!” Said Dev, throwing her hands up into the air.
 
“It’s been
killing
me not to be able to say anything.”
 

Riss and Kayla shot daggers at Alex who just cocked an eyebrow, to which they stuck out their tongues at him.

Holly got up with a freshly washed, dried, and ironed T-shirt for Alex.
 
It didn’t smell like him anymore. A little hint maybe, but not the same.
 

Holly sniffed her pillow.
 
There was a ghost of a scent there, since she’d slept with the T-shirt on her pillow for two nights, reluctantly giving it up to be washed on Monday.
 

Those two nights, Holly had had the deepest, most restful sleep she’d had in a long while, even though coming out of her sleep had been frustrating.
 
Holly had thought about, conveniently, forgetting to take it to school with her to get another night out of it, but she knew she would need to return it.
 
Alex hadn’t said she could keep it, just ‘you can use mine’ he’d said.

Holly got ready for school and began to think about the dream that had plagued her during those restful nights.

Alex had pulled her out of the water and laid her down on the poolside floor.
 
His hands roamed over her hips and her stomach, taking their time moving up and up over her breasts to her shoulders.
 
The warmth in his touch sending shivers through her body. Next, he lay over her running his hands up her neck and into her wet hair.
 
His chest was pressed against her as she raised her hands to touch him. Soft skin and tight, hard muscle.
 
He reached down with one hand and hooked his thumb into her waistband and started to pull down her wet shorts, just as he leant in towards her lips, with his own…and then she would wake up, panting and sweating; hence, the frustrating part.
 

“Holly…? Holly!”

Her Dad, well Step-Dad who she calls Dad, was trying to get her attention.
 
“Helloooo!” He waved a hand in front of her face.
 
She blinked rapidly, cheeks burning.
 

“Wha…? Oh. Hey Dad. What’s up?”

“I asked if you wanted coffee.
 
You were miles away honey.
 
Something wrong?”
 
he asked with a twitch of his lips.
 

Holly had a sneaking suspicion that he knew something, and that
something
was a person.
 

“Oh no, just thinking about school, Em, the usual…and yeah I’d love some coffee, thanks.”
 

“Coming up buttercup”
 
he said cheerfully with a wink.

Phew!
This is worse than the day I
met
Alex.

Holly would have to avoid him today, and it made her feel bad even thinking about it.
 
Just when she was getting somewhere with overcoming some of her nervousness, she was back to square one, taking a few extra steps back for good measure.

It was going to be difficult, as they had every class together but, luckily, the girls were in most of her classes and Holly sat a few rows in front of Alex.
 
If she were quick enough, she could make it out with Dev before he could talk to her.
 
So that’s exactly what she did.