Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much (21 page)

Okay, I bet you're rolling your eyes now that I am about to talk about movement and exercise. You know it all by now! Everybody who has had weight issues knows about exercise, but a unique quality of people who feel too much seems to be that they lack the level of general body awareness that normal people develop from birth. They struggle with something called
proprioception
, which is how the body senses itself. When asked, “Do you know where your body is at all times?” how would you answer? Do you have to think about the answer longer than most people do?

When you close your eyes, and someone says move your right leg, proprioception is supposed to tell you where it is without your having to look down at your leg. Proprioceptive receptors for stimuli are located in the joints and ligaments, and signals are sent through the nervous system up to the brain's sensory processing center, which puts it together with other information (such as your visual sense and your sense of movement) and lets you know exactly what's going on with your body in relation to your environment. This system bypasses your thinking mind, or it's supposed to. According to a theory called
sensory integration
, which an occupational therapist named A. Jean Ayres developed in the early 1970s, some of us don't have typical sensory processing going on. Somewhere along the way, the signals get mixed up, and people with sensory processing issues actually have to think about their body's positioning. They fall off chairs, bump into people and objects, and feel as if they're sort of floating. If you don't have this problem, think about how your body feels after hours skiing or on a boat and how you feel the need to stomp around to remind it that you're back on solid ground. When you're stomping, you're giving yourself proprioceptive stimulation by crunching your joints and ligaments together, and you feel as if you're back in your body. I find that, when I'm feeling as if I'm floating, not completely attached to my body, it helps to chew gum, which gives proprioceptive stimulation because chewing compresses the joints in the jaw.

People who feel too much, even though we obsess about our weight and food, have difficulty starting exercise programs because we often don't know where our body actually is in space. I have found this to be true particularly in women with abuse backgrounds; they have mastered dissociation as a survival mechanism, finding it easier to “live in their heads.” I know I have this because every time I have begun to work with a trainer, I have to concentrate 100 percent on what the trainer is telling me to do; if she says, “Move your right foot!” I might otherwise easily move my left. Hey, it's a foot—I got that part right!

It's essential for people who feel too much to start developing body awareness and acknowledge that this is an issue
before
beginning to exercise. Otherwise, you might hurt yourself. You might also become demoralized because you feel so uncoordinated. Classes in rooms with mirrors are especially hard because you have to see your body reflected back; try not to compare it to the bodies next to you, and follow the instructor's verbal directions and movements, which you can see from the back as well as in the reflection in the mirror. I have a friend who says she used to well up in tears in classes like this, until she figured out she needs to stand directly behind the instructor and mimic her moves.

MANY OPTIONS FOR MOVING

One thing that can hold people back from engaging in regular movement is emotional resistance to the idea of exercise—which is why I prefer to call it movement. Maybe you are carrying around painful memories of cruel classmates in physical education classes, rolling their eyes when they got stuck having you on the team; so many people with weight problems have that history of mistreatment. You don't have to be coordinated, be competitive, or feel miserable to get the healthy movement you need. Movement should be fun. In fact, many people who talk themselves into exercising for health reasons find that they actually end up craving that movement and go out of their way to get it; it's enjoyable and it helps them feel better, emotionally and physically.

You can also jiggle for weight release! If you're very uncomfortable with movement, owing to chronic pain and inflammation, it can be really hard to find ways to move that don't make you wince and sink into an easy chair. I know it can be frustrating to not be able to move the way you once did, or the way you wish you could, but don't give up and eliminate all movement. If movement is painful, or you are very overweight and it takes great effort to get moving, start slowly. I think whole-body vibration is a fantastic way to boost circulation, immunity, and the flow of your bodily fluids while waking up your muscles so that movement is easier. Every day, even when I'm sick or feeling lethargic, I get on my whole-body vibration machine and let the vibration go to work on my muscles, stimulating the muscle neurons and fibers to contract—more so than they would during ordinary exercising. If you've ever done an exercise that's unfamiliar or that you rarely do and thought the next day, “Wow, I can feel the burn in muscles I didn't know I had,” you recognize that we tend to work with only certain muscles while others lose tone. The movement you experience on a whole-body vibration machine is low impact—you stand on a platform that oscillates—so you aren't putting undue stress on overworked, damaged, or aging joints.

Just as you would with any exercise program, you have to start slow with whole-body vibration so you don't experience fatigue and uric acid buildup in muscles, which will make them sore. Even so, it's a very gentle way to begin moving if you are out of shape. Another bonus is that it improves your bone density because the vibratory motion stimulates the cells that build bone cells while calming the cells that break them down.

Movement comes in so many enjoyable forms. Choose one that you enjoy and that's right for your body and your schedule. You can walk, swim, or do yoga, Tai Chi, or Qi Gong, none of which is too strenuous if done properly, but all of which gives a great overall body workout. Walking is great because anyone can start doing it at any time, without special equipment—all you need is some quality, supportive walking shoes. Think about walking on a more giving surface than a floor or sidewalk to put less pressure on your joints. Try a track designed for runners, or a grass or dirt path.

If you love to swim, do it in an ocean, lake, river, or pond that you know is not too polluted. There's no such thing as pristine body of water anymore, but find a spot to swim where you won't be exposed to too many environmental toxins. If you swim in pools, favor the ones that are kept clean without the use of harsh chemicals. I love swimming; in the summer, I make it a habit of swimming at least four times a week in a saltwater pool. I don't swim particularly fast, but I love its wonderful effects on my mind, body, and spirit. And I'll push myself a teeny bit more each time, not because I want to punish my body but because I love it and want it to be strong and healthy.

With any form of exercise, if you overdo it in order to compete with others, bullying your body as if you were in boot camp with a military officer swearing at you, you are more likely to hurt yourself, physically—and emotionally. Remember, kindness and self-compassion are your goals. Also, just because a gym advertises that it welcomes people of all body types and all levels of fitness, the people who work out there may be competitive and judgmental. Exercise in places where you feel welcome and are accepted. You don't need to take in anyone else's negative feelings when you are trying to shed your own along with the pounds!

If you enjoy vigorous, stimulating movement, and your body can handle it, by all means train for a marathon, do rigorous sports, or take a class that involves fast, exciting moves. However, don't feel this is the only way to get in the movement you need to maintain good health and keep excess weight off. According to the Centers for Disease Control, walking at a good clip, during which you are just a little out of breath, or doing a similar exercise for two-and-a-half hours a week along with spending some time twice a week moving every muscle group, is all you need to stay healthy. Maybe you have to make a little more effort to keep your BMI under 25, or you prefer to exercise more to relieve stress or to be more fit. Other organizations have different recommendations; but frankly, the idea that you have to work out heavily for at least an hour every day, without fail, isn't in synch with your body's actual needs.

Dance to music you enjoy, in your living room if that's convenient—or make dancing a social occasion. Instead of getting together with a friend to eat out or have a drink, plan a date to try line dancing or hiking through a nature preserve. When I lived in Sedona, Arizona, my favorite Pilates instructor was a vibrant young woman named Rima, who had the best Zumba class ever. She was the most sensual, expressive dancer, and watching her at the front of the room was an experience in and of itself. I danced at the back of the room, sometimes moving in the same direction as everyone else and sometimes, well not! Did I have fun?
Yes!
It gave me joy to watch Rima and it gave me joy to stumble around at the back of the class! It didn't have to be perfect for me to love every luscious moment of it.

Take a fitness class together with friends and encourage each other. A friend of mine was feeling uncoordinated in a class when the woman next to her whispered, “You're doing great. This is my fifth time in beginning salsa. I'm not ready to go on to the more advanced one!” Why pressure yourself? There's no physical education teacher standing over you anymore, threatening to lower your grade if you don't work harder, and there are no tests.

Another enjoyable way to get movement is to play an active video-game by yourself or with friends or your kids, or just play with them outside, kicking a ball around. If you love dogs, you might get one you can walk. You'll enjoy being with your furry friend while getting much-needed movement.

Movement has an even stronger effect on our spirits and attitude when we exercise outdoors. Every day, I love to walk by the ocean near my house. “Green exercise” outside near the grass and trees combines movement with being in the sunlight, which helps us to manufacture serotonin, the feel-good hormone, and vitamin D, an important nutrient associated with less depression and irritability (as well as better immunity and less risk of dementia, among other benefits). In fact, one study shows that just five minutes outside in nature can boost your mood; and being in nature offers a host of health benefits. If you're stuck inside, surround yourself with plants and pets. As I said before, it's easier to feel peaceful and in touch with your spirituality when you're in nature under open skies, or looking at the rich array of plants, insects, and animals in a forest or alongside a river, or gazing out across the breadth of mountains, an open field, or a large lake or ocean. Walk, hike, or bike, and maybe rest or meditate when you're outdoors, too.

If you haven't biked since you were a kid, check out the bicycles that are available now. You have many choices, including reclining bikes that are low to the ground and may be more comfortable if you struggle with balance or feel clumsy. You don't have to impress anyone. Don't feel you have to push yourself to do something that takes more coordination and skill than you feel you have.

If you want to keep track of how many steps you take each day, or how many more free weight repetitions you can do to help you stay motivated, go for it. You don't have to compete with anyone else, or be hard on yourself if you don't make your goals as quickly as you thought you would, or fall behind because you became ill.

In fact, think about working with hand weights regularly to keep your muscles toned and your bones strong, and to raise your metabolism (having too many fat cells lowers your metabolism while increased muscle mass raises it). You can keep a set out where you spend a lot of time to remind yourself to use them. Lifting weights, starting with one-pound free weights and working up to heavier ones, is a great way to become more body aware, get in a little movement, and build strength—and it helps build bone density. Keep in mind that when you increase your muscle mass, it boosts your metabolism and helps you burn more calories, even at rest. Don't overdo it, though; you have to give your muscles a chance to rest. If you have poor upper body strength and build up your strength with weight lifting, even using lighter weights, you'll enjoy an added bonus of not feeling sore after carrying a heavy suitcase or packages.

I first began to train with hand weights several years ago, when I was a recording artist and was terrified of being perceived as heavy. Now, my motivation is very different. I do it for my health and overall well-being: I want to have a fit, healthy body because I love myself. It's far better to work out because you love yourself than because you're afraid someone is going to point at you and call out, “Fatty!”

Movement can also prevent the back pain brought on by poor posture. Building your trunk muscles through core exercises, yoga, and other forms of movement address these problems and make it easier for you to not feel fatigued when you have to stand or sit a lot.

Whatever movement you do, focus on strength, stamina, health, and movement; and check in with your body to be sure you are doing what's right for you. If you feel pain, stop. “No pain, no gain” should not be your mantra! You aren't trying out for the Olympics; you're working to be healthy, raise your metabolism, and manage your moods. Pain does nothing to help you achieve those goals; in fact, pain can sap your motivation (if you do overdo it, the salt baths, which contain Epsom salts, will help alleviate your sore muscles). Go slowly! If you find yourself intimidated or embarrassed for any reason, stop and figure out how you can change the experience so you keep it fun and enjoyable.

Movement should be something you look forward, not something you dread. It should make you feel better physically and emotionally, and put you back in touch with your body in a positive way. That's especially important if you often disassociate from your body because you don't like it, or you feel it has betrayed you, or you've been a victim of physical or sexual abuse. You may never be as slim and as trim as you would like to be, but you can enjoy your body's strength, flexibility, and fitness.