Wedding Cake for Breakfast (20 page)

About the Contributors

Cathy Alter
is a Washington, D.C.–based writer whose articles and essays have appeared in the
Washington Post
, the
Washingtonian
, the
Atlantic
, the
Huffington Post
, and
McSweeney's
. She is the author of
Virgin Territory: Stories from the Road to Womanhood
and the memoir
Up for Renewal: What Magazines Taught Me About Love, Sex, and Starting Over.
www.cathyalter.com

Elizabeth Bard
is an American journalist and author based in France. Her first book,
Lunch in Paris: A Love Story with Recipes
is a
New York Times
and international bestseller, a Barnes & Noble “Discover Great New Writers” pick, and the recipient of the 2010 Gourmand World Cookbook Award for Best First Cookbook (USA). Bard's writing on food, art, travel, and digital culture has appeared in the
New York Times
,
Wired
,
Harper's Bazaar
,
and the
Huffington Post.
www.elizabethbard.com

Andrea King Collier
is a journalist and author of a memoir
Still With Me...A Daughter's Journey of Love and Loss
, and
The Black Woman's Guide to Black Men's Health.
Her work has appeared in the
New York Times
, the
Washington Post
,
O, The Oprah Magazine
,
Ladies' Home Journal
, and
More
. She can be found at www.andreacollier.com

Margaret Dilloway
is the author of the novels
The Care and Handling of Roses with Thorns
and
How to Be an American Housewife
. She lives in San Diego, California, with her family. She writes a blog, American Housewife, on her website: www.margaretdilloway.com

Susan Jane Gilman
is the bestselling author of
Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
,
Kiss My Tiara
, and
Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven
. A regular contributor to NPR, she has appeared on the
Today
show,
Men Are From Mars
, and
ABC World News Now,
and has been featured in
USA Today
,
Ms. Magazine
,
People
, and
Glamour
. She published her first piece of fiction in the
Village Voice
when she was sixteen; since then, she has won numerous literary and journalistic awards. She lives in Geneva, Switzerland, and is currently at work on a novel. Visit her website: www.susanjanegilman.com

Ann Hood
is the author, most recently, of the bestselling novels
The Knitting Circle
and
The Red Thread
and the memoir
Comfort: A Journey Through Grief
, which was a
New York Times
Editors Choice and named one of the top ten nonfiction books of 2006 by
Entertainment Weekly
. A regular contributor to the
New York Times
and NPR's
The Story
with Dick Gordon, Hood has won two Pushcart Prizes, a Best American Food Writing and Best American Spiritual Writing Award. Visit her website: http://www.annhood.us

Joshilyn Jackson
is the
New York Times
bestselling author of five novels, including
Gods in Alabama,
Backseat Saints
, and
A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty.
She lives in quasi-rural Georgia with her husband, their two kids, and way too many feckless animals. You can visit her on the web at http://joshilynjackson.com

Jill Kargman
is a
New York Times
bestselling author of trashy novels including
Momzillas
,
The Right Address
and
The Ex.
-
Mrs. Hedgefund
. Her memoir,
Sometimes I Feel Like A Nut,
is an essay collection that can be found in the humor section of your bookstore. She lives in New York. www.jillkargman.com

Sally Koslow
is the author of
Slouching Toward Adulthood: Observations from the Not-So-Empty Nest
(Viking,) an examination of people in their twenties and thirties; three novels:
The Late Lamented Molly Marx, With Friends Like These
(Ballantine) and
Little Pink Slips
(Putnam), with a fourth novel in progress. She contributes essays to many magazines and has been featured in
DIRT: The Quirks, Habits, and Passions of Keeping House
. You can read Sally's work on www.sallykoslow.com

Claire LaZebnik
is coauthor with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel of two nonfiction books (
Overcoming Autism
and
Growing Up on the Spectrum
) and has published six novels, including
Families and Other Nonreturnable Gifts
and her first young adult novel,
Epic Fail
. Another YA novel,
The Trouble with Flirting
, will be out next winter. She lives in Pacific Palisades with her husband and four kids. www.clairelazebnik.com

Sophie Littlefield
writes the award-winning post-apocalyptic Aftertime series for Harlequin Luna. She also writes paranormal fiction for young adults. Her first novel,
A Bad Day for Sorry
, won an Anthony Award for Best First Novel and an RT Book Award for Best First Mystery. Sophie grew up in rural Missouri and makes her home in northern California www.sophielittlefield.com

Darcie Maranich
lives with her family in Tucson, Arizona, where she spends an inordinate amount of time shooing away scaly desert creatures and tweezing cactus spines from her son's extremities. Darcie blogs at www.suchthespot.com

Jenna McCarthy
is the author of
If It Was Easy They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married.
(Please note that it says the man
you
married, not the one she married. Her husband likes it when she points that out.) She is the author of four previous books, and her work has been published in magazines and anthologies around the world. Visit Jenna online at www.jennamccarthy.com

Liza Monroy
is the author of the novel
Mexican High
and the forthcoming memoir
The Marriage Act
, which further explores her unconventional relationship with Emir. She lives in Brooklyn and teaches writing at Columbia University and elsewhere. Liza has written for the
New York Times
' Modern Love column,
The New York Times Magazine
, the
Los Angeles Times
,
Newsweek
,
Salon
,
Women's Health
,
Everyday With Rachael Ray
, the
Village Voice
,
Jane
,
Poets & Writers
,
Self
,
Bust
,
Publishers Weekly
, and others. www.lizamonroy.com

Sarah Pekkanen
is the international bestselling author of three novels:
These Girls
,
Skipping a Beat
, and
The Opposite of Me
. She has also written two linked short stories available for eReaders titled “All Is Bright” and “Love, Accidentally.” A former D.C. journalist who has also worked as a waitress, pet-sitter, model, babysitter, and stand-in on Hollywood films, she now lives in Chevy Chase, Maryland, with her husband, three young sons, and rescue Lab. www.sarah pekkanen.com

Rebecca Rasmussen
is the author of the novel
The Bird Sisters
(Crown/Random House 2011). She lives in Los Angeles, California, with her husband and daughter, where she teaches writing at UCLA. She's been married for six lovely years. She still favors black dresses over white ones, and real playgrounds over ones named after the Devil. She spends her days writing and teaching and trying to be as grateful for this wonderful life as she can be. www.rebeccarasmussen.com

Susan Shapiro
is the author of eight books, including
Unhooked
,
Speed Shrinking
,
Overexposed
,
Lighting Up
, and the memoir
Five Men Who Broke My Heart
, which is currently being made into a movie. She teaches her popular “instant gratification takes too long” writing method at the New School, NYU, and private workshops. She has written for the
New York Times
, the
Washington Post
, the
Los Angeles Times
,
Newsweek
,
The Nation
,
Salon
,
Tin House
,
Daily Beast
, the
Village Voice
,
People
,
Psychology Today
,
More
, and
Marie Claire
. www.susanshapiro.net

Abby Sher
is a writer and performer living in Brooklyn, New York. Her memoir,
Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn't Stop Praying (Among Other Things)
got a nod from Oprah and won the
Elle
Readers' Prize,
Chicago Tribune
's Best of 2009, and
Moment Magazine
's Emerging Writers Award. Abby also wrote a young adult novel,
Kissing Snowflakes
, which is about snowboots and stepmoms. She's written for the
New York Times
, the
Los Angeles Times
,
Self
,
Jane,
Elle
, and
HeeB
. She is still happily married to Jay and they have two hilarious children. www.AbbySher.com

Claire Bidwell Smith
is the author of
The Rules of Inheritance
, a memoir about coming of age in a fog of grief after losing both her parents at a very young age. She has written for many publications including
Time Out New York
,
Yoga Journal
,
BlackBook Magazine
, the
Huffington Post
and
Chicago Public Radio
. She lives in Los Angeles and is a therapist specializing in grief. www.clairebidwellsmith.com

Daphne Uviller
is the author of the novels
Hotel No Tell
and
Super in the City
, and is the coeditor of the anthology
Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo
. She lives with her first and only husband in New York's Hudson Valley with their two children. She can be found at www.daphneuviller.com

Kristen Weber
spent most of her career working in New York City book publishing, most recently as a senior editor for Penguin's New American Library, before relocating to Los Angeles in June of 2009. Now she works as an independent book editor in between relearning to drive and hanging out with her husband and her pug. Her short fiction has been published in
Girls' Life Magazine
and in
The Girls' Life Big Book of Short Stories
. You can visit her website at www.kristenweber.com

Judith Marks-White
is the
Westport News
(Connecticut) award-winning columnist of “The Light Touch,” which has appeared for the past twenty-six years. She is the author of two novels published by Random House/Ballantine:
Seducing Harry
and
Bachelor Degree
, which won a Reader's Prize 2009 from
Elle
magazine. Judith teaches humor writing, writes for numerous anthologies, and lectures widely. She is working on her next book. www.judithmarks-white.com

Amy Wilson
is the author of
When Did I Get Like This?
The Screamer
,
The Worrier
,
The Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget Buyer
,
and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be
(William Morrow, 2010). She is also the creator of the one-woman show
Mother Load
, which followed its hit Off-Broadway run with a national tour of sixteen cities. She blogs at whendidigetlike this.com

Wedding Cake for Breakfast

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. The stories in this book are snapshots of life; they reveal the complicated, the funny, the sometimes challenging experiences that women face during that pivotal first year of marriage. Which of these essays resonates the most with you and why?

2. Several stories, including Joshilyn Jackson's “The Marry Boy” discuss friendship as a foundation for marriage. How important is being friends first in a romantic relationship versus having a relationship that begins with passion and attraction? How did yours begin?

3. In “Marriage Changes Things” Liza Monroy writes about her unconventional marriage to her best friend Emir:
“I had expected nothing to change. But here we were, an unconventional twosome who suddenly found ourselves filling the most conventional roles. Marriage, I thought, was not supposed to do this—not to us—but as it turns out, marriage changes things no matter what kind of couple you are.”
Discuss how Susan Jane Gillman also touches on this same sentiment in her essay “Do You Want Fries with That?” and the subconscious ways people fall into certain roles in a marriage.

4. Margaret Dilloway's “Love in the Time of Camouflage” and Darcie Maranich's “All the Time in the World” deal with their experiences as army wives. In “Home Is Where the Husband Is,” Kristen Weber also touches on long-distance relationships. Discuss how their husbands' time away from home affected each couple. Do you believe distance makes the heart grow fonder? Or that distance just creates more distance in the relationship?

5. In her essay “Faith and Fairy Tales,” Andrea King Collier writes:
“I would have appreciated it if someone had just said that the first year of marriage is the thing you have to go through to get to the happily married part.”
Is there too much focus on weddings these days and not enough on actually being married?

6. In “Animal Husbandry,” Claire LaZebnik recounts how she finally realized that she could start her own traditions and break free from those she grew up with, while Elizabeth Bard's “Twinkie Au Chocolat” and Sarah Pekkanen's “Blending a Family” show ways in which family customs can be at odds in a new marriage. How do we decide what to borrow from our own upbringing and when to change it up? What are some of the customs you consciously changed in your marriage versus the ones with which you were raised?

7. Sophie Littlefield's “He Chose Me” features a marriage that ended. She discusses putting herself on a shelf for her marriage. Do you think women often do this? How important is it to maintain your own independence and identity in a marriage, and what are some ways women are able to maintain theirs?

8. Abby Sher's “Juan and Martita” and Claire Bidwell Smith's “The First Year” are both about how they navigated their respective first year of marriage without their mother (and Bidwell Smith learns she's becoming a mother). How pivotal a role do mothers play in the first year of marriage? What might they do to help the young marriage, and what should they not do?

9. Susan Shapiro, in “The Last Honeymoon,” wonders what it would be like if she'd ended up with an old flame. Do you think most women go into their marriages with unanswered questions about old flames? What kinds of “what-ifs” do you feel women generally harbor entering into marriage?

10. In “Ghosts of Husbands Past,” Judith Marks-White talks about how she and her future husband arrived at the “marital altar like beasts of burden dragging behind us remnants of our past.” Discuss the role that the past plays in these essays and the ways in which our past relationships color our present or future ones.

11. In both “Ciao Baggage” by Cathy Alter and “The Devil's Playground” by Rebecca Rasmussen, things go wrong, but the relationship is as strong as ever and never falters under the pressure. What things have happened in your life that have tested your relationship, and how important is it to learn how to navigate challenges as a couple?