We Float Upon a Painted Sea (35 page)

Bull stood in silence, still dressed in his slippers and bathrobe. He was absorbed by a moment of clarity. Andrew approached him from behind and whispered in his ear,

“What is up with you?” Bull shuddered and then he turned around. “Oh, it’s you, I was wondering where you had gotten to.”

“You’ve been acting all strange of late, and that’s saying something because you’re a bloody peculiar bloke at the best of times.”

“Go away, you’re not real,” exclaimed Bull.

“What are you drivelling on about man?”

“You’re not real. You’re a figment of my imagination. I must have invented you. It was the trauma from the accident or the isolation on the life-raft driving me mad, but you're not real.”

“You’re not making any sense and didn’t you hear the Captain, this is a time to put a stout heart against a stey brae.”

“What? At least on the life raft you were intelligible.”

“It’s an old Scottish proverb my grandfather used to say. It means you need determination to climb a steep hill.”

“Are there any Scottish proverbs about how to deal with hallucinations?”

“No as a nation we have a poor record of dealing with mental illnesses, but a fine history of locking them up.”

“Oh that’s brilliant. So you think I should be put in a straightjacket and thrown into a padded cell?”

“Or back into the sea, it’s all the same to me.”

“You would like that wouldn’t you?”

“Look, when I was a child I had an imaginary pet which I used to constantly play with, but then I got bored with my imaginary pet and invented myself an imaginary friend, but he got bored with me, stole my imaginary pet and ran off with it. I know the symptoms…”

“Go away, you’re embarrassing me. Everyone is staring at me wondering why I’m talking to myself.”

“Everyone’s staring at you because you’re dressed in slippers and a bath robe and acting like a mental patient. Look, you’ve been through a lot over the last week and the stress, dehydration and hunger has obviously taken its toll. Have you been drinking sea water on the sly? I heard it can make you go loopy. The mind can play tricks on you, I should know. When I was in the Territorial Army...”

“Just leave me alone! I looked in the mirror and I couldn’t see your reflection where you should be standing, so unless you are a vampire, you are a hallucination,” shouted Bull.

One of the crew approached. He looked directly at Andrew and said,

“You’re the cat that we rescued from the soup aren’t you? I didn’t get a chance to properly introduce myself, I’m Ty Kurt.” He extended his hand and gave Andrew a traditional Inuit handshake. Andrew leaned forward and pulled Ty Kurt towards him and rubbed his nose against the Inuit man’s nose. He then said,

“My friend here isn’t feeling himself today.” He looked at Bull with a smug expression on his face. Bull looked at Andrew and said,

“Vampire it is then.” Andrew’s face squinted. He said,

“But its day time.” Bull walked back to his quarters, leaving Andrew standing in an uncomfortable silence, and then Ty Kurt said,

“Hey man, we just shake hands these days. Only family members do the kunik on each other and that’s pretty much only amongst the elders now. I just thought you might want to know that before you try that one again.” Andrew walked out to the deck and stared at the sea.

Chapter 25: Wilderness

Bull was woken two hours later by McIntyre.

“I have brought you a straightjacket,” said McIntyre, “The Captain has asked me to ensure that you put it on.” Bull sat up in his hammock, his eyes startled. McIntyre laughed and then said,

“Only joking, it’s a survival suit. We’re drawing close to St Kilda.” Bull examined the suit. McIntyre said,

“This thing can save your life. Don’t pull the inflation cord unless you have an accident and fall into the water. If you are wet the moisture will transfer body heat far more rapidly and result in hypothermia. Bull nodded laconically and replied,

“Ok, I understand.” 

“To be honest you’re lucky I am onboard and have a big spare suit for you. McIntyre pointed to the attached boots and said,

“I think this will fit you. Size thirteen if I’m not mistaken?”

“How did you know?”

“When you were sleeping, I lay down in front of you and placed my feet against yours?” Bull shivered and then said,

“Really?”

“No, not really, but it’s good to know how gullible you are. You’re about the same height as me so I took a lucky guess.” Bull looked worried. He rose from his hammock and biting his top lip he said,

“The wave was a monster.”

“I saw the destruction it caused to the west facing sides of Hirta and Soay. It was the like I’ve never witnessed before. Not in this part of the world anyway. They’ve been blaming it on the fracking activities out at sea. I live on Hirta, near the village and in my field of work I have lots of experience with North Atlantic waves, but this one was different. The military have been conducting operations in this area for well over a year and even the Coast Guard have been ordered to stay away. I said to myself, to hell with them and went there the following day and when I arrived one of the MoDs took a shot at me.” McIntyre stopped. There was a confused look in his eyes. Finally, he continued, “They are twitchy fuckers and will put a bullet in you quicker than you can eat a plate of sandwiches. Nico told me.”

“I was famished.”

“Look, the GM need to try and salvage their ship the Flower Child and find any survivors. They’ll record the destruction and use it as evidence. As soon as they do that they will return to the Mother earth and get you and Andrew home. You need to get checked out at a hospital.”

“What about my job.”

“The Commandant gave your job to a local lad who had returned from the mainland. I’m sorry. My protest fell on his thick deaf ears.”

Bull closed his eyes and rubbed his head. McIntyre said,

“Hey laddie, you can have my job. I won’t be going back.”

“I’m not worried about the job right now. It’s something else. I once knew a woman called Saffron. She was in the GM and I fear she was on the Flower Child. I can’t be sure but I feel it in here.” Bull clutched his chest. McIntyre nodded. He said,

“I know, she was your girlfriend.”

“Do you know her?”

“No, but you talk in your sleep.”

“What? Ok, I get it. You’re pulling my wire again. We split up.”

“You both wanted different things and began to drift, but there remains a fire that burns bright in your heart for her.” To Bull’s surprise McIntyre burst into a song, “Don’t cry young lovers, whatever you do. Don’t cry because I am alone. All of my memories are happy tonight. I have a love of my own.” Bull didn’t know where to look as McIntyre pirouetted around the cabin with the elegance of a dancing bear. Bull considered that he might be having another hallucination and then McIntyre stopped.  “Sorry big man, you wouldn’t know it to look at me, but I am a big fan of musicals.”

“It’s ok. Some one once told me, never judge a book by its cover.”

“Saffron? Look, I’ll ask around for you and see what I can find out.”

Bull smiled thinly and thanked him before he left. He looked down at the boots and then noticed Malcolm’s leather satchel. The memories of his death awakened and the guilt of abandoning him flashed in his mind. He felt his heart thump in his chest and beads of sweat form on the nape of his neck. He lowered his torso and fell asleep. When Bull arrived on deck, McIntyre approached him and said,

“I am sorry big man but Ty Kurt said he knew your Saffron and that the last time he heard she was on the Flower Child.” Bull looked out to the sea and the approaching islands. Finally, he responded,

“I take it you intend to set down on the island when we get there?” “That is the plan, but only if there’s no military presence.”

“Is there any chance that I could go on shore with you? You can consider it my dropping off point. I’ll find my own way off the island. I need to get to that island and I’ll swim there if I have to.” McIntyre wondered, how many miles of sea he would swim for someone he loved. It depends how cold the sea was or what she was willing to do to reward my endeavours, he thought.

“Ok,” he said, “But I need to clear it with the Captain first. If he says it’s fine then I’ll take you. Anything to mend a broken heart.”

Andrew stood alone on the foredeck. He felt the bracing effects of the cold westerly on his face and was thankful for the survival suit that McIntyre had given him. He spent most of the journey to St Kilda in silence, gathering his thoughts and reflecting on the capsize of the Andrea Starlight, his fearful time on the sinking life raft, the cold, the dampness, the hunger and the death of Malcolm. He wondered if he would always rely on the prescribed pills from his psychiatrist. He had suffered a couple of episodes recently, but he had put this down to exceptionally stressful events. He examined the back of his hands and waiting for any signs of a tremble. Nothing. He put on his gloves and clutching the guard rail, he stared out to the horizon. The islands of Boreray, Hirta, Stac an Armin and Stac Lee emerged on the horizon shrouded in fog; together making the Islands of St Kilda. The Mother Earth circled the archipelago to the sound of screaming gulls echoing back and forth against the sheer cliffs like an unnervingly trumpet, hailing the ships arrival. Through the wisps of mist Andrew could see a ship lying capsized, the black waves pounding against the damaged hull.  Bull joined Andrew on the foredeck and together they stared at the broken skeleton of the ship.

“Is that the Flower Child?” lamented Bull. Andrew shook his head mournfully and said,

“I don’t think so. I was told the Flower Child was a trimaran, a three hulled ship. I think that's the Russian ship that followed them into British waters.”

“How do you know that?”

“Ty Kurt told me.”

“The poor bastards. McIntyre is asking the Captain if I can go on shore with the crew. I might not be coming back.”

“I hope you find what you are looking for.”

“Thanks, me too.”

The ship’s engine growled as it continued its way around the island and into the mouth of Loch Hiort. The crew waited in silence, anticipating the most terrible conclusion for their comrades on the Flower Child. Bull was distracted by the mechanical sound of a davit lowering McIntyre’s cutter onto the deck. Andrew turned to him and said,

“Feeling better or do you still think I am a figment of your imagination?” Bull frowned but didn’t look Andrew in the eye,

“No, you’re real all right. A real pain in the neck.” Andrew laughed. His outburst caught Bull by surprise.

“I can understand what you’re going through,” said Andrew more sombrely, “I had a little episode a few years back and not wanting to go into the details, my mind suffered an acute stress disorder. It’s what most people would refer to as a nervous breakdown. I started hearing things, voices in my head, of people I knew. During certain episodes the voices would escape, become audible, so to speak.”

“Like back on the raft with the sharks?”

“Yes. I take medication to control my anxiety but my pills are at the bottom of the sea right now. I just thought I’d let you know that you’re not the only one who is suffering.” Bull smiled sympathetically and patted Andrew on the back and said,

“I'm sorry I went off on one, back there. I don't know what came over me. Something seems amiss, not right, surreal even.”

“Its just the ordeal we have been through, it plays ticks with the mind.”

“You asked before why I sniffed you. Well, normally I can tell a lot about someone by their odour.” Andrew's face screwed up in confusion. Bull smiled and said,

“It's a trick I've learned over the years, just leave it at that. But lately, I've lost the ability. Ever since my accident.”

“What accident? The Andrea Strarlight?”

“No, another accident. I fell from my narrowboat during a storm, banged my head and nearly drowned.”

“And you wondered if I was a jinx?”

“Fair point. I do have a history of misfortunes.”

“And the scars to prove it?”

“Strangely enough, no. I'm a quick healer.”

“Apart from that bump on the back of your head. I noticed it when you arrived on the life-raft.” Bull put his hand up to feel the lump on his head and said,

“Seems like that's another ability I've lost. Hey, just in case this is goodbye, thanks for the talk Andrew.” Bull offered Andrew his hand, they shook and parted company. Andrew watched as Bull took his place with the crew waiting to board the cutter and then returned to his cabin.

The Mother Earth held a slow but steady course towards the shore. Bull, playing impatiently with his beard, stared out to the black towering cliffs while the void in his heart and the surrounding melancholy threatened to engulf him. He cursed the slow progress of the ship and then the wind picked up and the mist dissolved to reveal the shoreline. They manoeuvred around an outcrop of rocks and the bay opened up. Bull peered forward. In the distance, he could make out the double hull of a catamaran marooned on the shingled beach. The ship crawled closer, revealing bodies lying strewn along the shoreline. From the upper deck he heard the sound of gasps and the odd expletive from the watching crew. Bull felt his heart palpitate in the cavity of his chest and his stomach coiled into knots of apprehension. He felt a sickness engulf him and the sensation of rising vomit from within.