Way Out of Control (6 page)

That evening, Jaxon tried his hand at sleeping outside of a padded room for the first time since his transformation. The room he occupied was another cold hospital bedroom with bland furniture and stark white walls. Celise said she trusted him enough to allow him to sleep alone in an unlocked room—they just weren’t going to tell the guys about it. He’d thought it’d feel different. He’d thought he’d feel more free. But the windows were barred and the doors that led outside were locked by the computer system. He was still locked in a cell, albeit a bigger one.

And worst of all, he was still weighed down by his intense thoughts and emotions. Anger, fear, frustration and regret sent his blood boiling and his mind reeling. He concentrated hard on maintaining some semblance of sanity, but he couldn’t trust himself to make it through the night without growing irreversibly violent. Unless he permitted himself to think about Celise, and thus allowed his emotions to swing from aggressively violent to aggressively lustful.

And it was easy to do. One quick mental image of Celise Belderon brought the memory of her bending and stretching and contorting her body in the gym, with her bare petite feet and the exposed skin of her legs—legs that until then he’d never seen outside of pants or pantyhose. Then she’d had the gall to lie upon the floor wearing nothing under that stark white lab coat of hers but lacy green underwear which the many mirrors of the gym provided a constant, torturous reflection of. Not only that, she had the audacity to do crunches there on that floor while in that position, her legs spread and her feet flat on the floor, her hands behind her head, her large, full breasts sticking straight up in the air like beacons whenever she laid down, and then bouncing towards her waist every time she crunched upwards. Her full, pouty pink lips were pursed as she pushed her breath out of her mouth, making soft little grunts and sighs Jaxon was sorry he was able to acutely hear.

He’d practically ran into the locker room to take a cold shower, and jacked himself off until both his cock and his arm hurt.

But to top it all off, he’d come out of the shower to grab the shirt he’d left in his haste, saw her with her hair down and damp, and instantly his rock-hard erection returned. And what did she do? She
ogled
him. The sight of her face all flushed as she tried to avert her eyes from his body, and especially his cock, had nearly sent him running back into the shower. Just recalling it now returned his privates into granite once again.

Grunting, he flipped out of the clinical bed onto the floor. Thinking that perhaps a cool drink of water would help him calm down a bit, he opened the door of the small, cramped room at glanced towards the kitchen. But as soon as he stepped into the hallway, he caught the whiff of Celise’s perfume in the air, and instantly his head flipped in the direction from which it came.
Damn, enhanced smell, too?
Although the kitchen was to the left, his feet lead him down the hall to the right, until he found himself standing outside of the room which contained the source of the jasmine scent.

After clenching and unclenching his fists, he finally placed the palm of his hand against the door, which was partially cracked, and hesitated. He shouldn’t push open the door, he should turn around and go the other way, he should do anything but be alone in a bedroom in the middle of the night with Celise and his stubbornly monstrous erection, he knew. But his arm didn’t seem to know, and it pressed his hand against the door and pushed it further open.

The room was furnished with a full-sized bed which she slept upon, her breath slow and heavy with a light, high-pitched snore. She was beautiful as she slumbered, her face unhindered by glasses or deep thought. She looked so feminine, so vulnerable. So soft and curvaceous. Soon his breathing matched hers, her scent filled his nose, and his gut clenched tight like a fist. He wanted her so bad, it pained him. Not just in his cock, but in his gut, his chest and his mind. But he couldn’t have her. Especially not while he was like this, while he was a monster. Surely he should leave the room now and try to end his suffering. But Jaxon decided that feeling unsatisfied desire was far better than feeling unsatisfied rage.

Standing right over the bed, he leaned down over her, looking at her more closely, noting the way her eyelashes fanned her cheeks. He closed his eyes and inhaled her deeply into his lungs, savoring the scent, imagining what she might taste like. When he opened his eyes she was opening hers at the same time. With a gasp she sprung upright and scrambled backwards a bit, looking at him with a startled expression.

“What are you doing in here?”

“I couldn’t sleep. I felt too—unguarded.” He tried to keep his eyes level with hers and away from the sheet she clung to her chest. Only then did he realize that she wasn’t wearing anything under that sheet. Not
anything.
For a second he froze, feeling the hold he had on his desire begin to slip. He almost couldn’t believe the next words that spilled from his own mouth. “May I sleep with you?” Why was he asking her that? His brain knew that he needed to get as far away from her and the sensual energy between them as he could, but another part of him wanted to be close to her. Closer than close.

When she sharply arched her eyebrows at him and crossed her arms, he made a quick attempt at recovery. “In the room with you, I mean. When I’m close to you is the only time I feel calm.”

She glanced up at him. “You don’t look calm.”

He considered changing his position a bit to better hide his erection, but decided it was pointless. She’d already seen it and it wasn’t going away anytime soon. “Yeah well, I’d figured you might sleep in underwear, at the very least. Not naked.” She blushed and smirked a little, and the gesture only made his cock twitch further. “But feeling anything other than the need to kill someone
is
calm for me these days.”

“Ah, so I see.” They stared at each other for an awkward moment. “Okay,” she said, nodding her head assertively. “The couch pulls out into a bed, I believe. You can take that.”

“Thanks,” he grunted as he got up, feeling a bit uneasy. He pulled open the sofa bed and frowned at it. It was much shorter than he was, and he knew his newly long legs would dangle way over the edge, but he tried to make himself comfortable on it anyways. The mattress was thin, too, and the pillows on the couch weren’t fluffy at all. He turned to his left side, then his right, tried to lie horizontally, then diagonally. Thanks to her he also had to try to sleep on that small, hard sofa with a big, hard dick. The sound of Celise’s laughter added to the lust clenching his gut.

“You’re way too big for the couch. Perhaps we should switch?”

He grunted. “No. Just hand me some extra sheets, and I’ll be fine.”

“I really don’t mind.”

“This thing is crappy and uncomfortable. I didn’t come in here to put you out of your nice bed.”

“Then come join me.”

Jaxon’s breath caught in his throat. “What?”

“You may as well share the bed with me, then.”

He swallowed as his entire body went as stiff as a board. “Are you inviting me to –”

“To
sleep
,” she emphasized. “That’s all.”

He snorted. “I don’t think that’d be a good idea, doc.”

“I can put on a lab coat and sleep in that. And I just stuck the tranquilizer gun underneath my pillows.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Ha, you already saw what state I ended up in just looking
at you. Sleeping next to you is just not gonna work.”

“Well, it’d be a good way for you to practice controlling your emotions.”

Keeping his eyes focused on the shadowy chair in the corner, he listened to the rustling of the sheets as she got out of the bed, toed over to the closet to grab a lab coat, and quickly put it on. He hated how clearly he could hear her every move, how aware he was of the stiff, cotton fabric sliding against her smooth, bare skin. And here she was talking about him joining her in bed so that he could practice maintaining self control. Was she kidding? She had to be kidding. And yet he found himself rising, as if his body wasn’t under his command, taking him to the bed where she was scooting under the covers.

“And if I fail?” His voice came out far raspier than he’d intended.

She shrugged, and the expression on her face remained stern, but the look in her eyes seemed to hide a gleam of playfulness, sensuality. “I’m armed with a sedative. Don’t forget, I’m a doctor, Jaxon. And a woman. I’ve dealt with unruly, horny men before. It’s really not that big of a deal.”

“Oh, it’s a big deal. Trust me,” he stated.

Celise merely smirked, unfazed, and beckoned him by patting the bed. He filled his lungs to capacity with air and exhaled long and hard before he quickly slipped under the crisp white sheet and stretched himself out along the edge of the bed as far from her as possible, facing away from her.

“Is there anything you wanted to talk about before I fall back asleep?”

He closed his eyes. Did her voice sound a little different while she was horizontal? Or was it just the fact that he was aware she was lying down so close to him that made it seem different?

“No.”

“How are you feeling? Is there anything you need at all?” He could practically feel her voice vibrate lightly across the bed, teasing him. Taunting him.

“I think you
saw
how I feel. What I need is for you to stop yammering and let me try to sleep. Not that I don’t thoroughly enjoy talking with you.”

She snickered. It was the soft, deep, throaty sound of a grown woman casually amused by the fact that she could so easily cripple a man—even a monstrous one—just by lying there. It made him a little annoyed that she was so unconcerned about the fact she was in a locked building, in a dark room, alone in the bed with a nearly seven foot-tall monster with a granite-hard erection. Didn’t she have any sense of self-preservation?

“You really should be a bit more afraid of me, Celise.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he admitted, barely above a whisper. “I am.”

There was silence for a long moment, before she spoke again. “I don’t think you want to hurt me, Jaxon. I don’t believe you want to hurt anybody, really. I believe if you did find yourself getting out of hand with me, you would stop yourself before you truly caused me any harm.”

“But why take that risk?”

“Because you took the risk in volunteering to be a test subject, which is the only reason you’re in this predicament. Because you need help regaining yourself. And because I think you’re worth the risk.” She smiled and rubbed her fingers along his forearm.

The muscles in his stomach and thighs clenched tight as his cock jumped, locked and loaded. He clutched his fists, gritted his teeth and tried to fight it, tried to push down the raging monster inside of him, but resisting it physically hurt. A grey haze clouded his vision, dulled his hearing, coated his thoughts, until he was no longer able to think at all. Only feel. And he wanted Celise. Needed her. Bad. Now.

He shot upright and the next thing he knew, he was on top of her, pinning her underneath his big body. She blinked up at him, too shocked for words.

“I’m sorry,” he nearly growled the words, the last semblance of reason before he gave into the insanity. He smashed his mouth into hers and kissed the shit out of her. He sucked her lips, bit them, sucked them again, swallowed her tongue, penetrated her mouth with his tongue.

He tore at her smock, ripping it open in one easy movement, and released her breasts. Still kissing her, he gripped her left breast with his right hand, as he secured her underneath him with his other arm. As big as Jaxon’s hand was, her breast still filled it completely, parts of the soft flesh overflowing between his fingers, her nipple pressed hard against his palm. The sensation heated him, and he released his hold on her mouth slightly to release a groan. He paused ever so briefly.

“Want me to stop?”

“Jaxon,” she sighed his name on her breath, and he wasn’t certain if the response was protest or encouragement.

But the raspy, sensual sound of it was all the encouragement he needed.

He sat up, straddling her waist as he gripped her sides just below her rib cage, and lifted her breasts to his mouth. She fit so nicely in his hands, moved so easily with his manipulations. Bending forward and tilting her backwards in his hands, he connected her nipples with his lips and sucked on them long and hard, tasting her, feeling her on his face. Just faintly was he aware of her quickening breath and the trembling of her body, the slight pressure she applied with her hands against his shoulders, but he didn’t pay it too much attention. He was enthralled by her body, by her scent, by how she made him feel.

He reached down between them and slipped his hand between her thighs, forcing them apart so that he could touch her sex. She was warm, wet, and open, and his dick ordered him to penetrate her. He heard himself growling, panting, and he pushed her down upon the bed and kneeled between her legs, keeping them ajar for his entry. He griped her by her waist and maneuvered her into position, his dick cocked, aimed and ready to fire.

“Jaxon,” she squealed out his name again. “Wait—slow down.”

He could hear her clearly, but it was as if she were very far away. He didn’t have to listen to that pretty voice, did he? He bumped his erection against her lower lips and immediately hit a barrier. She was tight and tense, and it would not be as easy for him to penetrate her as he’d hoped. He yanked her bottom half upwards, repositioning her again.