Watch Over Me (22 page)

"Say it again," he replies softly as his thumb brushes back and forth over my cheekbone.

"I love you," I reply without hesitation.

"Oh thank God."

His lips crash to mine, and I smile against his mouth as he wraps his arms around
me and pulls me against him. When his tongue brushes against mine, I can't help but
whimper. I love kissing this man, I love touching this man, and I don't want to wait
any longer.

I don't know if he senses my impatience or it's just a mixture of his own, but Zander
quickly lifts me up against him, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he turns and
heads down the hall toward his bedroom, never breaking the kiss.

He stumbles with me in the dark hallway, smacking into the wall every few feet as
we struggle to remove his wet shirt in between kisses and laughs. When we finally
make it into his room, he sets me down on my feet next to the bed, and we help each
other remove the rest of our wet clothes. In the darkness of the bedroom, I can just
make out his features from the streetlamp shining in through the window. He smiles
at me before scooping me back up and then laying me down gently on top of his bed,
quickly putting on a condom before covering my body with his own.

He takes some of his weight off of me by leaning up on his elbows, and I wrap my legs
around his hips to keep him as close to me as possible.

"Say it one more time," he whispers as he stares down at me.

I chuckle before looking at him in complete seriousness and repeating the words one
more time. "I love you, Zander."

He lets out a sigh of contentment and rests his forehead against my own.

"I have loved you from the first moment I saw you."

I want to cry at the sweetness of his words, but now isn't the time for crying. Now
isn't the time for being sad. Now is the time to live…and be happy.

"Are you sure about this?"

Butterflies flap wildly in my stomach at his words. Not only does he love me, he
cares
about me. He wants me to be okay, and I know without a doubt that if I changed my
mind, none of that would be different.

But I am not about to change my mind. I want him more than I could ever even tell
him.

"I am more sure about this than anything in my life."

He closes his eyes and sighs peacefully again, shifting his hips so I can feel him
against me and know without a doubt how much
he
wants this and wants me.

Sliding my hands through his hair, I pull his mouth to mine as he positions himself
between my legs and slowly begins to push himself inside me.

I wince at the shock of pain, and he pulls away from my lips to whisper apologetic
words and professions of love against my mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you."

He pauses his movements and holds himself steady above me. I lean up and kiss him
again, needing the connection of his lips against mine to calm my nerves.

"It's okay. I'm okay," I tell him quietly as I command my body to relax and remind
myself that it won't hurt for long. "Please, I'm okay. Keep going."

The pained look and worry on his face about hurting me melts my nerves, and I tighten
my legs around his waist and pull him deeper into me until he pushes past the barrier
and I can let out the breath I'd been holding.

The burning discomfort quickly eases as we move against each other, and Zander keeps
reminding me how much he loves me, over and over. He touches and kisses me everywhere
he can reach, and it's not long before the pleasure of being with him like this erases
the pain and I can enjoy what is happening. He moves his hand between us, and with
feather-light touches, he ignites a fire inside of me that has me clutching tightly
onto his hair and throwing my head back on the pillow while he kisses my neck. Nothing
has ever felt this amazing; nothing compares to feeling Zander touch me and move inside
of me. I never expected my first time to be like this. I never expected to feel anything
other than relief to get it out of the way. I never want this to end, and I'm shocked
to feel my release slowly creeping up on me as he moves his body and his hand torturously
slow against me.

"Zander, Zander…"

I chant his name over and over as my toes curl and pleasure shoots through every inch
of my body. I don't even recognize the sounds that are coming out of my mouth as I
push my hips frantically against his to prolong everything I'm feeling. He swallows
my cries with his lips as he begins moving faster and harder, and I wrap my arms tightly
around his shoulders to keep him as close to me as possible. He's strong and solid,
warm and gentle, and I want to stay wrapped around him forever.

He tells me he loves me over and over through his own release, and I hold on to him
as securely as I can, never wanting to let him go or have this moment end.

Zander finally collapses on top of me, and I smile happily feeling all of his weight
and the racing of his heart against my chest. After a few minutes, he rolls off of
me, leaning over the side of the bed to dispose of the condom in the trashcan. He
quickly slides back next to me and wraps his arms around my waist, turning me to my
side and pulling my back against his chest. Reaching down, he pulls the covers up
over both of us and then snuggles against me, smothering my cheek, my neck, and my
shoulder with tiny kisses until I giggle when he gets to a ticklish spot.

"I love you, Addison," he whispers against my ear before resting his head on the pillow
behind me.

Closing my eyes, I slide my fingers through his hand resting on my waist and pull
his arm tighter around me, drifting off to sleep faster than I have in a long time.

"
I know you used to be a completely different person, Addison. It's hard to find that
person again when so many heavy things keep getting piled on top of your shoulders,"
Dr. Thompson tells me as she holds her coffee cup close to her mouth and then blows
gently on the hot liquid. This week's cup had little blue snowflakes on it with the
words "Let it Snow" painted in silver and blue. I glance out the window at the bright
sunshine and wonder why she's using a winter mug when it's almost eighty degrees out.

"You had friends and you had fun and you were carefree. Excuse my language, but it's
time to shit or get off the pot, as they say," Dr. Thompson tells me with a smile.

I'm momentarily stunned by her choice of phrases. My mom used to say that to me and
my father all the time, and even though I'm used to Dr. Thompson's bluntness by now,
this one comes out of left field.

"You're doing good and you're forming healthy relationships. Keep that momentum going,
Addison. Be a good friend; be the wonderful, thoughtful person you always used to
be and that I know you still can be. The more you do it, the easier it will be to
get your old self back."

Walking through the hospital halls, I can't help but smile. Even though I'm worried
about Meg, and I'm nervous to see her, all I can think about is Zander and our night
last night. When I woke up this morning, I was still wrapped in his arms and it was
very difficult to force myself to get out of bed. All I wanted to do was stay in bed
with him snuggled under the covers and forget about the outside world, but I can't
do that right now. When I checked my phone, I had a text from Meg saying she could
have visitors and three missed calls from my dad. Right now, I only have the strength
to deal with one crisis at a time, so my dad will have to wait.

"Knock, knock," I announce as I stick my head into the open doorway of Meg's room.
She's sitting up in bed, flipping through the channels on the television, and gives
me a big smile as I enter the room.

"It's about time you got here. The cable channels in this hospital suck ass."

I laugh as I pull the extra chair in the room closer to the bed and take a seat while
she powers off the television.

"Sooooo, what's new?" I ask with a smile, taking a page from Zander's book and trying
to lighten the situation a little. I want Meg to feel comfortable talking to me. I
want her to know that I'm her friend and I'm here for her. It's time to change how
I act around people, and I want to start with her.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Just a little depression and suicide attempt to brighten
everyone's day," she says with an uncomfortable chuckle.

The silence hangs in the air between us as Meg pulls at the frayed edges of the blanket
that covers her legs.

"What happened, Meg?" I ask her softly.

She lets out a huge sigh and leans back against the pillows, her face turning up toward
the ceiling as she contemplates her words.

"Two years ago I was in college. I was going to school for elementary education. I
still lived at home and commuted back and forth to classes," she explains quietly,
her eyes still trained on the ceiling tiles. "One night things got a little out of
hand at a party, and I had way too much to drink. My parents always said I could call
them any time I got myself into trouble, so I called them to pick me up since all
of my friends were just as wasted as I was, if not more. On the way back home, my
dad was lecturing me about drinking, and I said something sarcastic. He turned around
to look at me, and the next thing I knew, everything around us exploded. He went left
of center and we hit a truck head on. They were killed instantly. I walked away with
a sprained wrist and a cut on my head. I had two little injuries, and they had their
lives taken away. My extended family wanted nothing to do with me after that. I was
already the black sheep because I was a little wild, but this just proved to everyone
what a bad seed I was. I killed my parents…two years ago yesterday."

Meg finally turns her face toward me, and all I can think about doing is wrapping
her in my arms and telling her everything will be okay.

So I do.

Getting up out of my chair, I perch myself on the edge of her hospital bed.

"Move over," I command as I swing my legs up on top of the blankets.

"Are we going to cuddle? Ooooh, can we spoon?" she asks with a laugh as she scoots
over on the bed.

"Shhhhh, don't ruin the moment," I tell her as I wrap one arm around her shoulder
and pull her next to me. She rests her head on my shoulder and we sit together quietly
on her hospital bed for a long time.

"I'm so sorry for what happened to your parents. It's not your fault. And your family
are a bunch of jackasses," I say angrily, breaking the silence.

Meg lets out a little laugh and wraps her arm around my waist.

"Can I give you their phone numbers so you can call them and tell
them
that?"

We laugh together, but I hope she knows that I would do exactly that and more for
her. I would drive to each of their houses and tell them off if it would make things
better for her.

"I'm sorry. I was a jerk to you," I whisper.

"You weren't a jerk. You had your own crap to deal with. And it's not like I offered
up this information about myself. You didn't know."

"But I
should
have known. I never used to be such a crappy friend. I used to be the person everyone
went to with their problems…" I trail off.