Wasted (Dirty Boys of Chicago #1) (11 page)

X
avier removed
Ramsey from the bedroom and I got out as quickly as possible.

I needed an escape.

I watched them in the living room as I exited the apartment in silence. Ramsey was just sitting on the floor, Xavier standing over him, a knife to his throat.

“Aren’t you going to say goodbye?”

I shot Ramsey a look over my shoulder. “No.”

I slammed the door behind me. I ran down the stairs and onto the street, feeling the sun on my skin. I just needed to get away. I put on some of my old clothes, as they made me feel less attached to Xavier. Like for a moment he wasn't with me. I walked the streets, feeling free, but in other ways, I knew I was still trapped.

How had Ramsey gotten in? I thought that Xavier could keep me safe. He promised me he always would, but what if he couldn't? Suddenly the sun didn't feel as warm on my skin, and a chill ran through my body. I needed to find someplace safe where I could sit for a while. I needed time to think. I walked a few more blocks, looking for a restaurant or a café I could dive into. Finally I came upon a small pub which looked dark and was covered with ivy. It was the perfect place where I could hide in a corner and no one would notice my tears.

I pushed open the heavy door, and when I entered the dark pub, the smell of beer overwhelmed me. There was a long wooden bar on the side wall, and there were several small tables and booths. The walls were a dark wood color and the floor was made of stone. The place was practically empty, which didn’t surprise me, since it was a Sunday afternoon. There weren't any TVs hanging over the bar, just Irish themed symbols and posters. Obviously this wasn't a place for the sports crowd.

I walked up to the bar and signaled the bartender to come my way. I sat down at one of the stools at the end. Hopefully no one would sit down next to me. I could drown my sadness in a pint alone.

“What can I get for you?” an older gentleman asked me. He had a long, graying beard and a cap on his head. The thick Irish accent made me wonder if he owned the place.

“Anything.”

He gave me the once over. “Anything, huh? Are you here to celebrate something? Or to chase the demons away?”

Demons. More demons than I would actually like to admit. “The latter. Give me something strong, please.”

He simply nodded and wandered off. Within a couple minutes, he was back with a short glass of dark brown liquid and a large square ice cube.

“This always helps to ease the pain. Take it slow.”

I picked it up and sniffed it. I could feel it burn my throat without me even taking my first sip. He wasn't kidding; it was strong. I lifted the glass to my lips and took a small sip, letting the warm liquid flow through my body. The bartender gave me a small smile and walked away from me as I looked around the place. There were maybe only five people in the bar with me. A group of men were sitting at a table in the back, talking amongst themselves, and there was a lonely couple at the bar with me. This was the perfect place to hide.

I took another sip of what I assumed was Irish whiskey and tried to move my thoughts past Ramsey, wrapping my head around what Xavier had done.

He killed my father.

He was the one that began a chain of events that took my family away from me, and I knew that deep down, I truly hated him for that.

As much hatred as I had for his actions, a small part of me always wanted him to be the Xavier I fell for when I was a teenager. I never wanted to really admit that he was a monster that destroyed my family. Ever since I'd made the decision to stay, I buried those feelings of hatred so deep that I didn't think anything could bring them back up. But here I was, waves of sadness rushing over my body. At this moment, I never wanted to see him again. But on the other hand, I was still his.

There was absolutely no denying the fact that I had completely fallen in love with him. I lusted after every touch of his strong hands, and I waited for him to call just to hear his strong, seductive voice. He completely owned me. Every moment not spent with him seem wasted.

I held the necklace that I had taken from my mother between my fingers, rubbing the silver back and forth. For the first time since she died, I felt truly alive again. He had given me a gift. He had given me my life back.

Before Xavier came back into my life, all I had was anger and resentment toward him, brought on by Ramsey’s tirades. But now, hearing Xavier’s admission, I started to understand his reasons, and I knew he was telling me the truth. My father had been a complete drunk. Xavier had said that he'd even beat my mother. She had gone to the Santinis for help. But in the end, they couldn't keep her safe.

So how could Xavier ever keep me safe? And what about keeping me safe from himself?

I hardly noticed as the group in the back of the bar broke away from their table and stood around the bar. Whatever business they had been discussing clearly was over. I watched as a few of them exited the pub. I recognized the way they were walking. It was like they had an extra ten pounds of weight on them, but none of them looked overweight. They were packing. I looked around me again, almost as if I had finally started to notice my surroundings. Where was I? I tried to think of what street I had walked down, where I had turned. I wasn't sure anymore. Did I walk into another mob family’s territory?

Shit.

“Enjoying that drink, doll?”

A gorgeous man with sandy blonde hair and a thick Irish accent sat down next to me. I watched as two men flanked him. They tried to seem nonchalant, and if I hadn't been observant, I wouldn’t have noticed their protective stances around him. I'd seen men do that before.

Too many times.

“It's all right.”

I shoved the rest of the whiskey down, trying to appear more interested in my drink than I was. I had to get out of here. I had just walked into Irish territory. I was so screwed.

“I have to get going. My boyfriend is waiting for me.”

The man grabbed my wrist. “Sit. Have another drink. It's on the house.”

He signaled the bartender and the old man filled up my glass. I saw him quickly make eye contact with the Irishmen sitting next to me. Clearly, the bartender wasn't the one in charge here.

“No really, I have to get going.”

“I insist.” He held up his pint and I lifted my glass slowly. They clinked together in an awkward way. He took a swig from his beer but I didn't drink anymore out of my glass. I no longer trusted that what was in my glass was only Irish whiskey.

“Haven't seen you in here before. You don’t come in here often, do you?”

I shook my head. “No. I just took a wrong turn.”

“I'm lucky you did. That's an interesting necklace.”

“My necklace? Oh. It was a gift.” Suddenly, my lies were back running through my veins. He didn’t need to know about my mother. He was already fishing for information in an uncomfortable way.

“From who?”

“Boyfriend. He just gave it to me.” More lies. I prayed that he bought it.

“Boyfriend?” I noticed the two security guards get closer to him. I'd made the wrong choice of words.

“Yeah.” I had to convince them now. Hopefully, they wouldn’t mess with me if I was the girlfriend of a mob son. Or maybe that was the wrong move to make. I wasn’t sure. But right now, I had to hold on to the fact that I was in love with Xavier. It no longer mattered what he had done to my family. I was his. I only hoped now that it didn't end my life.

“So which Santini boy are you with? I know that S, it’s their family symbol.”

I closed my eyes. Shit. My mother had gotten this from the Santinis; of course, I had known that, but the way he said their name, it had been the wrong choice. “Xavier.”

He smiled at me crookedly. “Well, isn’t that advantageous? I’m meeting with his family tomorrow night. Perhaps you should stay with us until then.”

I put my hands up. “I don't want any trouble. If you have a message, I can make sure that it is delivered to them. But I’m not involved in his business. I don't know anything.”

“See, the last time that he sent us a message, he shot one of my security, and he carved up one of my best sellers. So if I send you back with a message, I don’t want to hurt you. That pretty little face of yours looks good the way it is.”

I felt sick to my stomach. What would he do to me? What had I gotten myself into?

“Now, I think I'll just keep you. I like leverage at these meetings. Besides, there’s a call out for you. Your family wants you back, do you know that?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your uncle—Ramsey, isn’t it? He’s been telling us to keep an eye out for you. He really wants you to complete whatever job it is he has you doing. Did you finish it?”

“No,” I said simply. I didn’t like where this was going.

“Damn, there’s money in it to finish the job. You just became my next payday.”

“What money?”

“Never mind that. You,” he said, pointing to one of his guards. “Call that Italian bastard and tell him we have his niece. I want details of the job and what the payout is. And you,” he said, turning toward me. “You stay here until we get further instructions. This just made the meet with your boyfriend a lot more interesting.”

I reached for my cell phone, but he snatched it out of my hand. “Do you have anything else on you? A weapon, maybe?”

I shook my head. “No. Just my phone.”

He smiled at me again, and this time, it almost seemed genuine. “Wonderful. Drink! It is going to be a long night ahead of us.”

I tried to inspect the whiskey before I threw it down the hatch, but I hardly had a chance. He was watching me too closely.

I had ended things with Xavier on such an uncertain level. What if he didn't come for me? What if this meet went bad? What if this had been for nothing?

I
made
a call to make sure Ramsey was taken care of.

“She said that she never wants to see him again. Make sure of it.”

Dante nodded at me before shoving Ramsey in the back seat of his car.

“She also made me promise not to kill him. See that that doesn't happen.”

“Got it. So where is she?”

I shook my head. “I don't know.”

“I can't believe you found Farrah. After all this time.” He looked at my closely. I could tell he was annoyed I had lied to him.

“Dante you know I never stopped caring about her. I had to make her mine.” But now as quickly as I had found her, I had lost her. And that was on me and my secrets.

“What about her father? I can’t imagine she feels too great about all that.”

“She doesn't. It's why she's not here right now. Why I’m praying that she comes back. I won’t force her to make a decision. It's all up to her now. As much as I want to, I can't force her into this.”

Dante nodded. “That is the purpose of having women in your life, man, to make things difficult.”

“I know.” I stifled a chuckle.

I watched as he drove away, Ramsey in the back seat practically slumped over. I hoped that I would never see that asshole again. It took everything I had to not kill him. I told Farrah I wouldn’t, though, so I didn't. I may have landed a couple more sucker punches to his stomach while I waited for Dante to pick him up, but I kept my knife away from his flesh. And that took some serious restraint.

I waited for her to come home that night. But she never showed. I called her cell phone again and again, trying to explain to her my side of the story. About how I had to keep her safe, and doing what I did was the only way to make sure of it. After trying to reach her for several hours, her phone started to go directly to voicemail. Everything had fallen apart.

I'd always been a broken man; it was just the life that I had. Farrah made me feel whole. And without her, darkness clouded every inch of my life. The next morning, I looked in the closet, touching the clothes that she had worn only a couple days ago. I wondered if she would come back for them. If she would ever come back at all.

Finally, that afternoon, I had to go to the office to prepare for the meet with the Irish. I called her again, but it went right to voicemail. I would try one last time before we left for the restaurant. If she did not answer, as much as I hated to do it, I would give her the space that she wanted and leave her alone.

When I arrived at the office, I found Dante sitting in the strip club. I walked up behind him. “Is it done?”

He looked up at me. “It's done. I dropped him off at a hotel and called the Salvatores. I waited until someone arrived for him. But they’re staying another night. He’s not in any type of shape to travel. Good on you, by the way.”

“Thanks. He deserved every hit.”

He nodded. “His family was pretty happy to have him back. They said he went off the deep end about a year ago. He was harassing Farrah. Setting her up to kill you. Did you know that?”

I shook my head, my father had alluded to it, but then I wasn’t sure. “No. So she knew this whole time about her dad and me?”

He shrugged. “I guess. He convinced her to come after you.”

I walked away from him. No one would be able to see the emotion on my face in the dark light of the club. She lied to me. The woman that I built my entire world around had known this whole time what a monster I was. And now she chose to run away? Why?

But I knew the answer.

She had finally seen the truth.

I couldn't blame her for not being able to handle it. I thought if anybody could, she was strong enough to. She should've understood that I did what I did just to help her. To keep her safe. But all the time together? Maybe she had gotten more than she bargained for.

Maybe she had wanted to stay after all.

My father emerged from downstairs. He didn't look happy.

“Xavier, we need to talk.”

I pushed all of my emotions about Farrah away and I followed him outside. He left the security at the door.

“Pops, what's going on?”

“You tell me. I just received a call that Farrah was seen with the Irish. You know about that?”

The Irish? What the hell would she be doing with the Irish? Was two-timing me not enough? Anger started to bubble up in my stomach.

Suddenly, it hit me, and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. She wasn't answering her phone. She hadn’t come home. It wasn't that she was done with me, it was that she couldn't come back.

The Irish had her.

Oh my God. After everything I had done to get her back, to make her mine, they had fucking taken her? Like she was theirs. Hell no.

“What do you know?” I yelled at him, enraged.

Pops squinted at me. “Tell me first. How long has she been in Chicago?”

“A few months, maybe, I’m not even sure.” I didn’t know enough of the truth to answer honestly, and it made me crazy. “The Salvatores sent her to set me up. To find out the truth about her father. She knows all of that now. And she still chose not to kill me.”

“Why the hell would she kill you? Has she even seen you?”

I saw the realization dawn on his face. It might've taken the old man a minute, but he knew what was going on.

“You're sleeping with her, aren’t you? God, Xavier! We don't have any kind of time for this shit. Armani is playing both sides, we've got the Salvatores on the move, and now we have this crap with the Irish! And you want to get into bed with an old flame?”

“The Salvatores were only on the move because of her. They've been dealt with.”

“How?”

I shrugged. “Ask Dante for particulars. Ramsey was going off the deep end. They were only mobilizing because they thought they needed to come out here and get him. He's gone crazy, Pops. As for the Armani problem, we’re solving that issue tonight. I think that the Irish have Farrah. As much as she might hate me right now, she wouldn’t go and help the Irish. They're out for more than just our properties. They want blood.”

My father pulled a 9mm out of the back of his pants and cocked it. The loud click of the gun filled the silence between us. “You love this girl?”

I nodded. “I have since the moment I laid eyes on her.”

“You are a rebellious little son of a bitch, do you know that? I specifically remember telling you to leave that girl alone.”

“I know. But I couldn't.”

“Fine. If she means that much to you, then she is part of the family now. Let's go blow up some of the Irish. It's been a while since I've gotten blood on my hands, and I don't like to get boring in my old age.”

He signaled to the security, and they came out of the building. The town car pulled up, and the driver got out to open the door for both of us. My father got in first, and I slid in after him.

“It's just us?”

“There’s security in the SUV behind us. Dante will follow that unmarked car. As far as the rest of the family goes? Yes. It's just us. For now. If things go south, the family will respond. You know they will.”

“I do. But Pops, I don’t want you to get hurt over this. That's not how this has to go down. It’s my fight with them. Let me deal with that little Irish shit. I can handle him on my own.”

“No. This is family. No one is allowed to touch our family. You understand?”

No one could command a response like my father could. I didn't respect anyone more than him. “Yeah Pops, I understand.”

He put his gun in his lap and he looked out the window. I knew we would ride in silence the rest of the way there. Both contemplating what we could gain, and what we could lose from this fight.

I could lose Farrah.

But I couldn’t lose my father either.

I knew I was going to have to kill a lot of men. And that was fine with me.

Blood on my hands wasn't new.