War Torn Love (5 page)

             
I was mad at my Momma, but I didn’t dare argue - I knew my place, once she had brought God into the equation - she wasn’t playing fair. I knew then that the battle was
over;
I lost, and didn’t understand why! I knew it was not going to happen but, I still
didn’t understand
what exactly she was so worried about. I couldn’t work
out what
she thought was going to happen. Of course, I had yet to gain knowledge of the birds and bees, or I might have understood Momma’s concerns.  I still hadn’t been told where babies came from, or perhaps I might have understood what she was worried about – or perhaps not – our friendship and bond was an innocent one, even back then.

             
Being that I was such a curious natured girl, I guess Momma was feeling bad. That night while Momma was giving me my bath, just about the time my hair was all lathered up with soap, I asked the loaded question all parents dread and fear coming. They all know the day will be arriving all soon enough with children, but always hope that it’s not that day today.

             
“Momma how are boys and girls - different from one another?”

             
Momma face surprised me when she suddenly turned a color shade of beet red, she also began an unexplained coughing sort of choking uncomfortable sound. She was silent for a moment; as she thought it out carefully exactly how she was to answer me back straightforwardly. In fact, for the
first time
that I can recall in my young life that she was a bit tongue -
cried
, and apprehensive. I could see her trying to answer me, and divert me at the same time; her words were hesitant, and very carefully chosen. I could sense something was wrong, but I couldn’t tell you what. You would understand that if you’re a parent. And to be candid, I was even more befuddled afterwards, thanks to Momma’s story sort of response - but seeing that Momma wasn’t making any sort of sense, I went ahead and played along. I think Momma was relieved that it was all over with, that I accepted what she had said. In truth, I did not understand at all.

             
When I went to bed that night, I was determined that if Momma was not going to tell me the truth, then I would have to find out for myself. I devised an elaborate plan - so I thought at the time.

             
Besides being summer the Abram and I went on a daily of trips or explorations, and with our eight-year-old ability of imagination, we turned them into true adventures. We used our imaginations; it was truly a magical time. Only on one particular such adventure, I was going to find out why girls and boys our dissimilar from one another, why it was Momma was so worried. I packed Abram and I up a picnic lunch. I had made it all by
myself, which
included a canteen full of water. At eight-thirty on that
August day two weeks before school was to commence, I was going to get my answer.

             
Excitedly I knocked on Abram’s front door to retrieve him for the adventure I have planned out.

Mrs. Balsam answered the door, smiling “Hello there dear, how are you this morning? Hana dear I have just baked a batch of oatmeal cookies. I know how much you love oatmeal cookies, here dear why don’t you have a cookie while there still warm, it sure is shaping up to be a nice day don’t you think! I suppose you are here to play with
Abram.
”

             
“Hello Mrs. Balsam I am, Thanks I would love one of your cookies. I sure am. Mrs. Balsam seeing that it is such a nice day out, I just thought he would like to go play. My Momma let me make a lunch all by myself. I was really hoping that Abram and I could have a picnic today. I even made Abram his favorite sandwiches, and peach’s I picked from our tree this morning. I also brought you over a bag full for you and your family.”

             
“Well that was sweet of you, I just make a peach pie, seeing as you went to so much work, and you made his favorite sandwiches, how could I possibly say no to you Hana, you’re just the sweatiest! Well let me add some cookies to your picnic lunch, if that’s ok with you.”

“That would be wonderful.”

“But Hana dear, you’re going to have to come back in an hour or so. I am afraid he has to do all of his chores, before
he is allowed to play. His Poppa needed something’s done, alright dear?”

             
“Ok, I’ll see you in a while.” Dragging my feet heavily as I left, I headed back to my place and waited it out in the living room, maybe pouting a smidge. A while later, there was a knock on the screen door, and there he was, smiling, and certainly excited to go play. Through the screen door, he enthusiastically talked to me, when he had spotted me on the cough.

“I can go play now Hana, are you ready to go?”

             
“You bet I am!” I yelled so Momma could hear me, “Momma, Abram is here – we’re off to play now.”

             
Not coming out of the kitchen, she called back, “Ok dear you two have fun, but Hana dear please be careful, and for goodness sakes, stay out of trouble. And you be back by four, you hear me young lady! Not a minute later.”

             
“Yes Momma I will,”

             
Then I ran into the kitchen, and gave her a kiss on her cheek.
And just
like that, the two of us were skipping merrily off, happy as larks. At this point, Abram and
Momma were
none the wiser - just the way I had wanted it. And finally I was going to be unearthing the truth; curiosity was getting the best of me. I had the ideal spot to find out, quell my curiosity once and for all. There was a small pond, that was completely surrounded by a cornfield at this time of year. About a mile up the road from the house, off to the west. As it was a hot day, it was the ideal spot to set my plan into action, where the two of us could go cool off
and swim.  I had never swum with a boy before, except Poppa of course, but that does not count.

             
We made our way through the soaring stalks of corn
, which
were at least four feet above the tops of our
head;
we were making a game of it, seeing if we could get ourselves semi-lost. The corn was so tall, it was not possible to see over; we ran as fast as we could through the field, Abram was much quicker runner than I was, but I think he held back just a smidgen. Even at eight years of age, he was a true gentlemen towards me, he obviously had good upbringing. A quality I would love through the years.

             
Finally, we made it to my very secret pond, I named “Hana’s pond.”  The place I like to come to catch frogs, which grow nice and big here. The shoreline that surrounded the pond was lined with a couple lofty pussy willows, oak as well as maple trees. And in the winter, I would come here to
ice-skate
. When we arrived at the pond, almost immediately Abram decided he wanted to dive right in the nice cool water. Thinking nothing of it, he stripped out of his shoes
, socks
, shorts and shirt, down into his underwear, and then ran and dove into the water. I don’t think he had swum with a girl before. I just stood there, not knowing what to do next - I had never been swimming with a boy before. Suddenly I found myself riddled with shyness being around him, what was going on with me - this was Abram I was talking about. It was at that moment = not knowing why really - but I felt the differences between us, even without fully understanding. I was afraid of him seeing me in this manner, and more importantly, what I might end up seeing. Then it dawned on me, Momma was
right, she was not trying to be mean to me, she was trying to spare me.

             
Up to water up to his neck, smiling back at me, “Hana aren’t you going to come in the water?  it feels great in here! Come on then. I don’t want to swim by myself, that’s no fun.”

             
I do not think he was thinking anything of the fact that I was a girl, and I too would be stripping down to my underwear, so maybe I should not be concerned either. “Ok but don’t look, until I tell you it’s safe - you have to give your word.”

“Ok, I won’t I promise.”

             
I stripped down to my underwear- and hung my dress up on a branch. You should probably understand in the nineteen thirties
, underwear
was not very flattering. But I guess I suddenly found myself somewhat bashful being this exposed in front of a boy, even if he was my best friend. Then the little girl once more came out in me. And I dove in the water. And you know what, I had fun! The moment I broke back up to the surface, Abram was waiting for me, and began splashing me for a good hour. The fact that we were the opposite sex was washed out in the water, I once again completely forgot at it. The curiosity quelled.

             
Like that, we played and splashed water at one another. I think I was a stronger swimmer than he was. My innocence’s wasn’t lost on that day, by searching out answers that would ultimately lead to my inability of thinking like a child any longer - I guess I didn’t want to
grow up just yet. Somehow, I no longer was curious about all that silly stuff Momma had told me about. I knew somehow, in time those answers would come to me.  In just a few short years in fact. But for now I didn’t want to become a women like my older sister just yet, I thought how dull she now was, I had witnessed how it had corrupted her. Always making a big deal about her developing breasts.

             
Funny thing, I had such a wonderful day that day with Abram, that day would bear out to be the first of many fine days I shared, at this very swimming hole. Over time, he would not only become my best and dearest friend, but the one and only true love of my life.

CHAPTER THREE

                       
   
“SCHOOL TIME”

             
I was not too pleased about the thought of having to start up school once more, yet not all the wishing and praying in the world for the summer to carry on, co
uldn’t - and might I add didn’t-
help. The first day of school still had arrived all the same. It arrived without much fan - fare, and our summer was over just like that, evaporated into mirror memories. I was not the only one feeling gloomy about the final demise of our summer - all the adventures that would be missed out on. Abram was not too eager either, about having to face the prospect of being in a completely new school, and start a new year.  But since neither of us had any other friends to speak of at the school, it was comforting knowing we would be going through all the pain together. It was a mile walk in either direction back and forth to our school. That was not so bad, except in the thralls of the harsh winters we experience around here. We can get some pretty
-
cold winters.