Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 (27 page)

The last memory of me cooking anything was when I tried to make French toast for Elle. She wanted me for breakfast instead, and I gave her what she wanted. I get a hard-on thinking about how I had her ass up on the counter and her legs wrapped around my waist. I adjust myself and head to the bathroom. Time for a shower, and then I’ll head out for groceries.

Elle has not returned my phone call. Something backfires every time I try to reach out to her, and this one incident could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Of all the fucking nights to turn off my phone, it just happens to be the one time she reaches out to me, and I don’t have my fucking phone on me. I’ve learned my lesson now. My phone is always fully juiced on vibrate with the ringer volume set on loud. There’s no way in hell I’m missing another one of her calls.

I drive down Beacon Street and stop at a small grocery store. I hate large grocery stores that are stocked with too many items. I already have a hard time trying to figure out what I want. With fewer choices to make, the quicker I can get out of here. I head straight to the bakery and pick up a couple of loaves of bread, cookies and muffins and throw them into my basket and walk over to the meat counter to grab a couple of steaks. I don’t know how to cook anything fancy, but I sure know how to cook a good steak. I grab a few other things to throw on the grill and make my way to the toiletry section to pick up a new razor and some shaving cream. My hair is longer, and my scruff has gotten out of hand. I know Elle loves it, but I’m no closer to her. If shit continues at this pace, I’m gonna look like one of the players on the Boston Red Sox bench. I just need a little trim.

If someone had told me my luck was going to change soon, I wouldn’t fucking believe them. My life lately has been nothing more than a shitload of missteps. Today is no different. I’m always running right smack into my shady beginnings in Boston. My past trysts are coming to haunt me.
Shit.
I try to turn around unnoticed but it’s too late. She’s already spotted me in the aisle as she turns from the pharmacy counter.

Mindy.

“Hey, stranger,” she says flirtatiously, putting away her bag. She tosses her purse over her shoulder and sways her hips as she walks toward me. I wonder if she practices her walk or she was just born this way. “I haven’t seen you in a few. Where have you been?” She smiles, flipping the hair off her shoulder.

“Hey,” I say, grabbing a razor and a can of shaving cream and dropping them into my basket. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her during the day. It’s always been in dark places. I guess it’s good in a way. She still looks decent but different to me, and I can’t quite place what it is. Maybe it’s the fact that she is wearing more clothes. She’s just another memory I have to shove back into the deepest part of my brain. I hate how things creep up on me like this, but she was before I fell for Elle. Looking back and getting glimpses of my old life like this make me cringe. We always learn from our mistakes. Well, most people anyway. Me? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

“Someone hungry?” she giggles, glancing at my basket full of groceries.

“Yeah, I’m restocking and trying to brush up on my culinary skills while I’m at it,” I utter, thinking of Elle and the damn French toast again.
Fuck.

“A guy who can cook is always a plus.” She smiles, looking up from my groceries. “I haven’t seen you out lately. The girls are going out next week. I hope you’re okay with Elle going with us. Things can get kind of crazy.” She lifts her eyebrows.

I tense and avert my gaze. Now the conversation is going in a direction I don’t want it to. I knit my brow and grab some toothpaste and mouthwash, even though I don’t need any, to stall and devise a halfway believable response. “Yeah,” I answer, keeping my expression smooth. “I’m running late.” I glance at my watch, trying to avoid answering a question that I can’t, but want to if Elle were mine.
She’s not.
“I’ve got to get up to the other side of town and get this stuff back to the apartment.” My eyes dart to the check out. “It was nice catching up with you.”

“Same here, Reed,” she coos, letting out a small laugh.

I can feel her eyes on my back while I walk away, like there’s more she wanted to tell me. I don’t want to stay to find out. If it’s something about Elle and some other fucking guy, I’d rather not know.

On my way to my apartment, I order some take-out, a burger with the works from Tasty Burger. After seeing Mindy, I lost my desire and motivation to cook. I grab a beer from the fridge and crash on the sofa and surf through the channels, trying not to think too much as I unwrap my burger and take a few bites. I really need someone to talk to. It’s been a bit since I’ve talked to Tommy, so I grab my cell and dial his number. He picks up on the second ring with Cooper barking in the background and the sound of his feet hitting the pavement. I suddenly miss home.

“Hey, bro. Your timing couldn’t be more fucked up. I’m taking Coop for a little walk, and I’m in the middle of picking up his shit,” he jokes. “Your dog is worse than a damn baby, man.”

“What the hell do you know about babies?” I kid, popping a fry into my mouth.

“Nothing, I just heard it through the grapevine that babies can really stink shit up.” He chuckles.

“This is good practice for when you have one of your own.”

“Uh... huh, man,” he replies without hesitation. “Not anytime soon.”

“Why not? I’m itching to be an uncle,” I confirm.
Since it looks like I’m not gonna have any of my own anytime soon.

“Dude, we’re going off on a tangent here. We made a deal about taking care of your pup and nothing else,” he stutters, clearly nervous about having kids and being a daddy, and it makes me smile picturing him and my sister having a baby.

“That’s right, so stop complaining. If you want those season tickets, you’ve got to pay your dues.” I laugh, leaning back on the couch. I’m more than psyched about my chances of getting to the NFL. Practicing with the BC Eagles has been a major help in getting me back into physical shape. My arm is good, and there’s no issue with my knee anymore, so I registered for tryouts in Baltimore in March. Things are really starting to fall into place for me on that end.

“You don’t have to tell me twice. If all I have to do is pick up dog shit to sit on the sidelines every Sunday, then bring me a shovel and pail.” He snorts. “So, what do I owe this surprise? It took you long enough to call.”

“Yeah, I’m just getting settled in. With my job and classes, I don’t spend too much time at home.”

“I hear that. Hold that thought.” He breaks, covering the phone.

“Sure,” I utter.

I listen as he yells for Cooper to get out of someone’s bushes, taking me back to an early memory of Elle and how she told me that she likes Jack Russell Terriers. I can’t forget a damn thing when it comes to her.

“What’s up?” he asks, returning to the phone.

I groan, rubbing my hands over my face. “This shit is eating me.”

“The thing with Elle?” he instantly answers.

“I’m trying to fix it, but it seems like everything I do just blows up.”

“If it were meant to be, it’ll happen. I’m not a marriage counselor or anything like that, but if you love her like you say you do, then do whatever you have to do to win her back.”

“I want what you and Juju have. That’s what I could have had with Elle if I hadn’t fucked it up.” I drop my head and stare at the floor.

“Then fix it, man. If she means that much to you, fix it.”

I grab my beer and take a long pull and stare across the room, trying to think of another way to reach out to her without pushing her further away but nothing comes to mind. “It’s easier said than done.”

“You’re quitting before you even started, man. Do I have to come out there and slap some sense into you?”

“Maybe.” I laugh. “I need some family up here. I don’t have too many friends right now. I could use some moral support.”

“Shit, your sister has been nagging me to fly out there. Maybe we should. I can take some time off from the job, and I know Juju’s got some time coming.”

“Then do it. I’m not going anywhere.” I begin to feel a little more at ease knowing I can count on Tommy.

“Done deal. I’ll let you know the dates after I talk to your sis.”

“Cool,” I say. Now, there’s another thing to worry about. “How’s my buddy Jerry? Has he come around?”

“Not lately, but I’ve seen Campbell around town with that douche Caleb.”

“Damn, they’re still together after all that? Must be true love.” I chuckle. If it is, I’m actually happy that Campbell found someone, even if it is with that fuck. He may not like me, but if he’s good to her that’s all that matters.

“Yeah, well, he said a couple of things that made me wonder what’s going on. I wouldn’t sleep on them. You know how Jerry can’t sit still for too long, not after what happened last time.”

“Don’t I know it,” I reply. “Ya know, I think I should just check in with him.”

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Tommy replies.

I know I should give Jerry a call, but I’m not in the mood for his bullshit. I don’t want to think about the fact that I’m his little puppet, and he’s holding the fucking strings. I’ll call him this week. Right now my first priority is Elle and my family.

“How’s Momma?”

There’s a moment of silence before he answers that makes me fucking nervous as hell.

“She’s great,” he replies, letting out a long breath.

“All right. What’s up?” I stammer, not liking the sound of his voice. I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.

“Your dad has been coming around.”

“What?” I sit up, momentarily stunned, but I recover. “How the fuck did that happen?”

“Well, after you painted that room before you left, your mom has been on this Martha Stewart kick and made Juju and me go pick out paint with her at the Home Depot.” He laughs, pausing for a second. “You knew he worked there, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” I fidget on the couch, twirling the beer bottle on the table.

“He said he spoke to you.”

“I couldn’t tell Momma,” I breathe. “I didn’t want her to get upset. She’s so fragile with the cancer and everything.”

“I know why you did it, man, and so does Momma. She was upset for about a minute. She knows you were only trying to protect her.”

“You know how I feel about her
and him
,” I say as the panic takes over, knowing that I’m not home to protect her. “It hurts not being there for her.”

“She’s good, Reed. You have to let your parents mend the past and move forward. She’s happy now, and if Juju and I plan to visit you, she won’t be alone. She has your dad and her brothers.”

“He said he’s not drinking anymore,” I choke.

“Yep, Momma won’t allow that shit in the house. Don’t worry. Everything is under control here. Be happy for her.”

“I am, man. I truly am,” I say, wishing I were closer, or that I was there. It sucks that I can’t be in two places at once.

After hanging up with Tommy, I send Elle a text and wait for her reply. When it doesn’t come through, I toss the phone onto the sofa. I’m going to keep trying until she answers. Fuck. What else can I do at this point? The slamming of the door and Luke throwing his gym bag onto the floor break up my thoughts and cause me to spill some of my beer on my jeans.

“Fuck, what the hell, dude? Can’t you do anything without giving someone a fucking heart attack?” I grimace, grabbing a napkin to dry my jeans.

“What the fuck are you doing home on a Monday night, asshole? I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Relaxing,” I reply. “By the way, my license says ‘Reed’, not ‘asshole’.”

“Sorry, asshole. It won’t happen again.” He pulls off his sweaty T-shirt and throws it over his shoulder. “We’re going out. The Red Sox are in the playoffs, and there are some Tiger fans I need to abuse.” He heads to the kitchen and grabs a beer from the fridge, twisting off the cap and taking a long pull. He smiles, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “So, whaddaya say?” He looks over at me and pushes his fingers through his damp blonde hair.

I know I’ve been looking for a distraction, and what could be better than getting my mind off my shit than watching some drunk ass Boston fans make fools of themselves? “All right,” I reply, thinking it beats going to the Glass Slipper or whatever he mentioned the other night.

“Cool. Let me hop in the shower and get dressed. Give me thirty minutes. We’re gonna have a good time tonight.”

“When does a dude need fucking thirty minutes to get ready?” I reply sarcastically.

“Shit, wait until you see the chicks out tonight, and you’ll see why, asshole,” he calls out as he disappears into the bathroom.

I laugh at my roommate and finish my burger and beer before I change into a clean pair of jeans and my Dallas Cowboys jersey. I know I’m asking for trouble wearing it, but I don’t give a damn.

How much shit can you get into at a bar while watching baseball and drinking beers with your crazy ass roommate? I hope he picks some place out of the way and not so popular, so I don’t run into anyone I know, but Luke likes to hit all the hottest spots. I can’t wait to see where we end up. I’m just hoping we don’t have another run-in with someone who wants to beat the living shit out me, because right now, the only place I’d rather be is sitting at home watching football with Elle in my arms.