Wanted: Parents for a Baby! (14 page)

“Trust me, there's no possible way in the world you could disappoint me. You're the warmth I desperately need,” he murmured,
his gaze serious. “And it's been a long time for me, too.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her reverently and then with frank desire. He stripped away her bra and panties and gently drew her toward the bed.

She ran her hands over his taut muscles, reveling in the light dusting of hair sprinkled across his chest. He lowered his head to her breasts, lavishing his attention on one nipple and then the other, intensifying the ache between her legs to the point she wasn't sure she could stand the sensual torture much longer.

“Please,” she begged, wrapping her legs around his waist. “Now. I want you inside me now!”

Ryan suckled her taut nipple even as he ran his hand down her abdomen, probing gently between her legs.

“Please,” she said again, gasping as pleasure washed over her when he stroked his finger over her clit.

“You're so hot and ready for me,” he murmured, drawing back to stare at her flushed body. She reached up for him, but he was busy tearing open a small foil packet.

She wanted to protest, even though she knew how foolish that would be. So she
watched as he slid the condom on and then lifted her hips in a silent invitation.

He spread her legs wider and guided himself toward her moist entrance. She expected discomfort, but, surprisingly, there wasn't any pain as he thrust deep.

Ryan let out a low groan and began to move back and forth in gentle thrusts that soon became more and more urgent.

“Yes,” she whispered, straining against him. “Oh, yes.”

“Cassandra…” His voice broke on her name as he quickened his pace, gathering her even more tightly against him. “Come with me,” he begged, before lowering his mouth to capture hers in a deep kiss.

A kaleidoscope of color burst behind her eyes as wave after wave of pleasure shuddered through her. His big body shook against hers, too, and she surrendered to him, reveling in the intensity of the moment, realizing that nothing had ever felt so right.

* * *

Ryan shifted onto his back, drawing Cassie over his chest and anchoring her with an arm across her waist, trying to drag badly needed oxygen into his lungs.

Incredible. Making love with Cassie had been absolutely incredible.

His heart thudded in his chest, slowly returning to a normal rhythm. Cassie's body lay sated and limp against him and he summoned the energy to trail his hand over her satiny-smooth skin. He couldn't help but smile, wishing they could stay like this forever.

“Wow,” she murmured.

“Yeah, wow,” he agreed.

She snuggled against him and amazingly he felt the stirring of desire. Apparently he hadn't had enough of Cassie.

Would he ever get enough of her?

A fissure of panic skated down his spine. He tried to ignore it, but it wasn't easy. Being with Cassie had been amazing.

Yet she deserved so much more than a quick release.

He told himself this wasn't anything like what he'd had with Shana, but the old self-doubts came marching back.

“Thanks for not being upset with me,” she said, craning her neck to look up at him.

He frowned. “Upset? About this? No way.”

She laughed and shook her head. “About falling apart and completely forgetting about our dinner date.”

He wasn't at all angry with her about that. He knew how much being a foster parent for Emma meant to her.

“Cassie, it's going to be all right, you'll see.” He kissed the top of her head, liking the way he could feel her smile against his chest. “And who knows, you might have children of your own someday.”

There was a long pause and he sensed there was something he'd said wrong, but before he could try to backtrack his phone jangled, interrupting the moment.

He groaned inwardly, tempted to ignore it. But what if the call was from the hospital? Cassie must have had the same thought because she pulled away, wrapping the sheet around her as she moved to the side of the bed, giving him plenty of room to get up.

He didn't want to leave her, but the phone kept ringing so he rolled off the bed and knelt next to his discarded clothes, searching for the stupid thing.

When he saw Detective Trammel's number, his pulse jumped. “This is Ryan Murphy,” he said.

“Dr. Murphy, I wanted to tell you we got a hit on one of the names you gave us,” Trammel said, getting straight to the point. “The
DEA number of Oliver Stevenson from Chicago, Illinois matches the one used on the prescription used by Trey Reynolds.”

“It does?” Ryan sank down on the edge of Cassie's bed, uncaring that he was still stark naked. He'd been waiting so long for a clue related to Victoria's death.

And now they finally had one.

“Where's Stevenson's office?” Ryan demanded. “We need to get there before he closes up his pill shop and moves on.”

“Whoa, there, not so fast,” Trammel interrupted. “You aren't doing anything, understand? So help me, Murphy, if you interfere with my investigation, I'll cut you out of the information loop so fast your head will spin.”

Ryan bit back a scathing retort, unwilling to make Trammel any angrier than he already was. He was fortunate that the detective even bothered to keep him abreast of the investigation at all, and he knew the older man wouldn't hesitate to follow through on his threat.

“I won't interfere with your investigation,” Ryan said, forcing the words past his tight throat. He glanced over to find Cassie's intense gaze boring into his, unspoken questions reflected in her eyes, and his stomach
dropped to the soles of his feet. He'd been so glad to hear from the detective that he'd forgotten about the fact that Cassie was listening to him. “Thanks for calling, Detective.”

“You're welcome,” Trammel said grudgingly.

Ryan disconnected from the call and tossed his phone on the bed.

“Detective? What was that about?” she asked, holding the sheet protectively against her chest. “Why would you interfere with a police investigation?”

Ryan grimaced, knowing it was well past time to tell her the truth. He pulled on his boxers, wishing he'd let Trammel's call go to his voice mail.

“Ryan?”

He let out a heavy breath. “Remember when I told you I had a personal interest in overdose cases?”

She nodded, taking a step backward as if needing to put more space between them. He wanted to cross over to her and pull her into his arms, but forced himself to stay where he was.

“I was interested in what happened to Gloria's brother Trey because my wife died of a narcotic overdose.”

Cassie put her hand to her chest, her gaze full of compassion. “Accidental? Or on purpose?” she asked.

He raked his fingers through his hair, wishing he'd picked a better time to have this conversation. Talk about a buzzkill. “Accidental, according to the medical examiner. And I don't think Victoria would have taken her own life.”

“Oh, Ryan, that must have been horrible for you.” Her brown eyes were full of compassion, an emotion he didn't deserve.

“Don't,” he said harshly, grabbing his pants and stepping into them. “You don't understand. It doesn't matter what the ME decided, because her death was completely my fault.”

She stared at him for a long moment. “I don't understand,” she whispered.

He shook his head, knowing he should tell her the rest but unable to get the words past his throat.

He never talked about Victoria or the loss of his unborn son. Especially not to other women. Even his buddy Simon only knew the watered-down version.

He couldn't do it.

“I have to go.” Ryan knew that if he didn't leave now he'd tell her everything, only to
see something worse than compassion in Cassie's eyes.

Condemnation. For the role he'd played in his son's death.

She stared at him without saying a word as he finished getting dressed. “Take care,” he said, before walking out of the bedroom door.

He didn't hear a response, not that he blamed her. After all, he'd ruined their perfect evening.

And she didn't even know the worst about him yet.

Walking away wasn't easy. He cared about Cassie, too much. And as he left he realized that, despite everything, the small part of his heart that he'd thought frozen was aching painfully now.

C
ASSIE SPENT A
horribly restless night on her sofa, before dragging herself upright the moment the sun came up over the horizon.

So much had happened last night and she was still struggling to understand exactly why things had deteriorated so quickly after the most incredible lovemaking she'd ever experienced in her entire life. She'd felt so close to Ryan, had been about to confide about her miscarriages and her inability to have children—until his phone had rung. At first she'd thought it was the hospital, but had then realized he'd been talking to the detective who was investigating Trey's overdose.

She'd felt terrible for him, knowing that he'd lost his wife to a narcotic overdose. No wonder he'd gone flying down to the ER when he'd heard about Trey. His actions now made perfect sense.

He blamed himself, yet wouldn't tell her why.

Knowing he couldn't confide in her made her wonder if he was holding back because he knew the truth was something she might not be able to handle.

Nausea swirled in her belly. Maybe it was better that she hadn't confided her deepest secret. After watching him with Daniel and hearing him admit that he wanted kids someday, she knew that her medical issues would be a stumbling block. Oh, sure, he might convince himself that it didn't matter until at some point he'd keenly regret not being able to father his own child.

She never should have made love with him, even though that intimacy had only emphasized how deeply she cared about him. Clearly he had the power to hurt her far worse than Evan ever had.

The sick feeling in her stomach grew worse, but she did her best to ignore it. She forced herself to make a slice of toast, hoping the bit of food would help make her feel better.

She wasn't normally the type to skip meals, but she hadn't eaten anything for dinner last night and now could barely face breakfast. This was ridiculous; it wasn't as if anyone had died. Okay, maybe she'd jumped the gun
by making love with Ryan when there was so much they obviously didn't know about each other, but at least Emma was getting better.

She needed to snap out of it, pull herself together.

She had plenty of things she could do to take her mind off her problems. It wasn't like her to wallow in self-pity so she forced herself to finish her toast, trying not to think about how much the bread tasted like cardboard. At least the nauseous feeling in her stomach subsided a bit.

After taking a shower, she felt a little more human, enough to face the day, anyway. She needed to do something productive to fill the hours between now and the start of her shift at three o'clock that afternoon.

She decided to call the apartment manager again and thankfully this time he answered. “Hey, Cassie, sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday.”

“That's okay. Do you have a two-bedroom apartment available?”

“Not right now. I have several one bedrooms open, but for some reason the two-bedroom apartments go fast. I'll know more in a few months.”

A few months? She tried not to succumb
to a deep stab of disappointment. “Will you please let me know as soon as a two-bedroom unit becomes available?”

“Sure thing,” he promised.

She set her phone aside, wishing there was more she could do to break down the obstacles standing between her and Emma. When her phone rang a short time later she thought for sure it was Ryan, calling to apologize. But her bubble of hope deflated, followed by a twinge of guilt, when she recognized Gloria's number on the screen.

“Hi, Gloria, how is Trey doing?” she said.

“Trey woke up this morning, Cass. He woke up!” Her friend's enthusiasm was contagious.

“Oh, Gloria, that's wonderful news! I'm so happy for you and your family.”

“I'm ecstatic, too, believe me. I know Detective Trammel will want to talk to him about where he got the prescription, but that's the least of our worries now. No matter what happens, he'll be fine.”

“I know what you mean,” Cassie said with heartfelt sympathy. She decided not to mention Ryan's participation in Trey's prescription investigation. “Getting into a little trouble isn't anything compared with almost dying.”

“Would you be willing to meet me for lunch?” Gloria asked. “I'm going to head home to shower and change. I'm too keyed up to sleep.”

“Of course I'll have lunch with you,” Cassie agreed. “Do you want me to come to your apartment? We can walk to the Sunshine Café, it's not too far. We can sit outside and enjoy the day.”

“Perfect,” Gloria said. “How about you head over here in about an hour?”

“Sure, see you then,” she agreed. Since she had an hour to kill, she opened her notebook computer and began searching for houses in the Cedar Bluff area. Most of the homes were well beyond her price range, making her wince. Borrowing against her retirement fund wasn't going to help if she couldn't afford to make the monthly mortgage payments.

She regretted now that she'd refused the small settlement Evan had tried to give her during their divorce. Her lawyer tried to tell her to take the money, but she'd only taken enough to cover the legal fees and nothing more.

Thrusting the useless wish aside, she stumbled on a small townhouse that was for sale at a reasonable price. She stared at the property,
her heart pounding with excitement. This could be the break she'd been waiting for.

She quickly jotted down the address, determined to swing by the place on her way to work. Then she scrolled down to the mortgage calculator, entering round numbers for an estimate of what she'd need to buy the place.