Wanted (10 page)

I sucked in a breath and managed to find my voice. “I don’t want Tre to attack me, which he pretty much threatened to do. But I don’t want you to bite me if you…”

He sat back on his heels with a breath that came from his throat, the heat leaving his face. “You’d let Matt do it tonight, if he would.”

Was he jealous?

I stood, trying to regain some ground, both physically and emotionally. “Yes, Conor, I would. Matt has been my best friend for years. He’s protected me since the day he found me dying. So, yes, I trust him to bite me once, to protect me until I can make my final decision. Yet he won’t do it, and I won’t force him to. I don’t want to hurt him any more than I already am.”

I sighed, tired of this game. “That leaves me with you. Before Thursday, though, you’d never spoken to me. Suddenly, you discover I’m powerful and kiss me? Forgive me for being a little wary. Matt said…” I looked away from him. “Matt said the bite would feel…sexual.” It came out as a whisper. “And frankly, I’m a little afraid of that kind of intimacy with you right now. I…I don’t want to get hurt, and I don’t want you to feel obliged, so…”

I squared my shoulders. “I’ll just do my best at school until I have to make my decision. I know Matt will be there if I need him. Will you?” I challenged him, looking down on him.

He stood, eyes flashing. “Of course I want you for my own. Of course I’ll be there. I won’t leave your side if need be. Promise.” He put a fist over his heart in a formal show of loyalty, and held out his hand.

After a moment’s hesitation, I took it. He pulled me into his arms, his warmth enveloping me. Our hands caught between our bodies. I stared stupidly at his shirt, too nervous to meet his eyes, my stomach in knots. I could feel him looking at me, so I dared a peek. I wanted him to kiss me. My lips parted involuntarily, my breathing shallow. I feared I would burst into flames at any moment.

“Tell me what you want of me,” he commanded softly. “Do you want me to be your friend?” He leaned his face close. Warm breath tickled my cheek. “Or more? Do you want to use my body to protect yours?” He pressed closer to me, cheek to cheek, his mouth near my ear. I stopped breathing. “Or do you want to use it for more?” His lips pressed to my neck. Air whooshed out of me and I gasped. I was drowning in Conor.

I closed my eyes. “How do you do that?”

“What?” he breathed in my ear before he nipped my earlobe. Every cell in my body was alive and humming, screaming Conor’s name.

“Seduce me without trying?”

He pulled back, cold air filling the space between us.
No.
My body screamed. It wanted more Conor.

“You don’t think I’m trying?” He gave me a half grin.

I shook my head, still fuzzy. “All you have to do is look at me.”

A shadow flickered in his eyes, almost sad. It was gone so fast, I wasn’t sure I had really seen it, replaced with a genuine smile. He pulled me into a hug. I buried my face in his chest, breathing him in, still burning for a kiss.

“I’m sorry you’re in this situation,” he said against my hair.

I relaxed against him, feeling safe. Yes, I decided, I felt safe with Conor. I listened to his heartbeat. It was rapid, beating quickly. Maybe I did affect him the way he affected me. I pulled back a little, his arms still around me.

“Okay,” I decided. “Do it.” I tilted my head, indicating he should bite me.

His eyes grew serious. “No.”

I recoiled, frowning. “What?”

He let go of me, backed away a couple steps, and smiled softly to gentle his rejection. “You’re scared. You’re responding to my attempts at seduction. So, I’ll wait. Wait until you come to me because you really want me, not because of how I can make you feel.”

My mouth fell open in shock. I threw my hands up in the air. “Two days ago you were both ready to bite me and now I can’t get either of you to do it? I don’t get it!”

Shaking my head in disgust, I turned, grabbed my bag, and stormed out of the room. Rejection from both boys made my eyes sting. I didn’t need them. I could do this on my own, right? What was wrong with them anyway? Suddenly they both acted all noble?

I found Matt pacing in the den and poked my head in. “I’m out.”

He turned, eyes scanning my neck. “He didn’t do it?” His voice was full of shock.

Conor came up behind me. “You didn’t do it?” asked Matt.

I moved away from Connor and he walked into the room, shaking his head. “No. I didn’t do it.” He leaned against the bar. Matt looked between us with wide eyes, mouth working like he was trying to decide what to say.

“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’m leaving. I’ll deal with Tre on my own. Screw you both.” I stormed out the front door, determined to walk home mad.

The sun was just beginning to set, throwing the world in a red-tinged semi-darkness. My ire left me as I belatedly realized I was all alone as darkness approached.

I shuddered a little, but hefted my book bag onto my shoulder. I took comfort in the fact that, while an epic failure in the ways of love, I was a powerful witch who had thrown Conor across a room, and not completely defenseless. Except I remembered how vulnerable I’d been when Tre accosted me in the hallway. Still not sure why my power had not responded to the threat, I shook my head. I would have to investigate that more and learn how to harness my power better.

I’d gone a block before Conor pulled up alongside me, parked, and got out. He looked at me across the hood of his SUV. I paused. I really needed my own car so I could drive myself away from these situations.

“Ashlinn. I’m sorry. I swore to protect you. Please let me drive you home.” Formal. Now he was being formal with me, a sure sign he was pulling away.

I sighed. I didn’t relish the idea of walking home alone in the dark, but I didn’t want to admit I was scared.

I silently entered the car, buckled up, and stared out the window. He drove me home equally as silent, not speaking to me until he parked in my driveway.

“Thank you for allowing me to watch over you.” His hands gripped the steering wheel and he stared straight ahead, face blank. “I will pick you up for school in the morning if that is all right with you?” Damn vamp formality.

I wanted to shake him and make him talk to me like Conor. The formality put so much distance between us. I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. “Why are you being like this?” I choked out.

His hands clenched the steering wheel. “I don’t want to unfairly influence your decision. I’m aware of the power I have over you, Ashlinn.” He spoke like he was reciting a script as he stared forward, ignoring my imploring looks. “I could probably seduce you until you begged me to bite you. I almost did, but I won’t. It’s unfair. I feel bad for what I’ve already done, so I will be here…to protect you. Until you decide what you must.” The words were forced.

I nodded slowly, the stupid lump still thoroughly lodged in my throat. “So, we’re pretending to date?” I inquired as I opened the door.

He finally looked at me, green eyes shining emerald. “Yes, we’re pretending.”

I left before he could see the tears. “Thanks for the ride.” I shut the door on his blank face and went inside. Stupid boys.

After the eye-opening ride home from Conor, I needed a spell to help make me feel better. I sat on my bed with my family’s
Book of Shadows
. I wasn’t sure what spell I was looking for exactly, just a little protection. I knew there probably weren’t any spells that would physically protect me, but maybe one that would help me against vamp mind power. Or one to help me feel more confident in myself. I was tired of feeling out of control in this whole situation.

Finally, I found one that might work. I carried the book to my desk and lit a few candles. I sat in my chair and concentrated on my breathing. I didn’t do spells often because I hadn’t ascended into my full power potential. I could do a few things without spells: light candles, float stuff, nothing too big.

I centered myself and reached out to my senses. I sensed the earth beneath me, living, breathing, connected. I grounded myself into the solidness, exhaled, and cast a small, hasty circle. I repeated the chant three times and ended, “So mote it be.” A reverberation of energy coursed through me, telling me the spell had worked. I said a small blessing of thanks and brought down my circle. Blowing out my candles and closing my
Book of Shadows
finished the ritual.

I felt calmer already, probably just from finally taking action. Relief eased through me, leaving my muscles less tense. I retrieved my homework and started in on the not so fun part of my life.

I had just finished changing into my PJs when my mom knocked and walked into my room. Her forehead was creased with concern, her mouth a tight line.

“Hey, Mom, what’s up?”

She fingered the crystals arranged on a shelf of my bookcase. “Ashlinn, you’re almost eighteen.”

“Yep,” I hedged. I had no idea where she was going with this.

She looked at me finally, her hazel eyes grave. “You’re very powerful.”

I nodded. “So I’ve heard.” Was she going to get to the point soon?

“I heard the Vampire Council has declared you must become a familiar.” There was the bombshell. Guess word got around.

I swallowed, tapping my pen against my notebook with nervous energy. Sometimes I forgot how powerful my parents were, too. I also forgot they might know what was going on in my life. I wondered what they would think of me being a familiar.

“Ah. Yeah. I guess they think I’m too powerful.”

She sat in my desk chair, looking weary. Lines formed in the corners of her eyes as she put her hand to her forehead. “I’m so sorry this is happening to you. We can appeal their decision. Your father and I are powerful enough to protect you.”

I felt my eyes widen. We could appeal? Why hadn’t I been told there was an appeal? Then I thought of Tre. He had accosted me at school, threatened to bite me. What would happen when I went away to college? Wouldn’t vamps everywhere want me? As much as I loved my parents, I really didn’t want them around for the better part of my young adulthood.

“Mom, how can you guys protect me at school, at college?”

Her face grew paler, making her auburn hair that much more striking. She really was scared for me. I wondered if I didn’t know the whole story behind the problems of being a powerful witch.

“Is that why Conor Peterson was here last night?” she inquired. Of course she’d known Conor was a vamp, they had probably sensed him as soon as he’d come in the house.

I blushed. “Kind of,” I admitted. “He’s the one who discovered me, I guess. So, he’s put a bid in to be the one. I could choose him, or…or Matt.”

Mom relaxed visibly at Matt’s name. “Well, Matt’s an excellent choice. You already have a good relationship with him.”

It was my turn to sigh. “Mom, Matt kind of likes me, like, more than a friend, and I just can’t see him that way.”

“Well, you’d be with him a long time. The way you see him may change over the years,” she offered.

I shook my head. “I already like Conor. I have for months. It’s weird and…complicated.”

She closed her eyes briefly in defeat. “Don’t you have any witch friends?”

I shook my head. Not like I hadn’t already thought about this. There weren’t many witches at school. Mostly vampires and humans. What few witches there were moved in different social circles; we’d just never really become friends.

A few hundred years ago, the Council had founded the town to be their headquarters. Throughout the years, humans and some witches had moved in. The humans, at that time, were oblivious to the supernatural. When the vampires went public during my grandparents’ youth, the humans who lived here stayed, realizing they’d been alongside the vamps all along and nothing happened. The witches stayed to help the vamps, be familiars, and aid them in their quest for mainstreaming. Now, we all lived side-by-side, it was just weird coincidence all my friends were vamps, not a witch among them.

A thought struck me. “Did you have this problem?”

She focused her eyes on me, bottom lip caught between her teeth, like she was deciding whether to answer. Finally she nodded. “Yes, but I had your father, and he was a strong enough witch I didn’t need to become anyone’s familiar.”

“You and Dad dated in high school?” I couldn’t keep the shock out of my voice. Why had I not known?

She looked away briefly, cheeks red. “I had been dating Liam Peterson.” Conor’s dad?

She had dated Conor’s dad? Creepy. What if they had kept dating and gotten married? It was weirding me out that my mom had dated my pseudo-boyfriend’s dad when they were in school. Had he accosted her in the library and tried to bite her? I wasn’t going to ask.

“Your father was a friend of mine at the time. As I grew older and came more into my power, Liam wanted to make me his familiar, wanted us to be together. But I never let him bite me. I didn’t want to be owned.” That sounded familiar. “One night, he tried to…force the issue. Your dad was there. And we’ve been together ever since.”

The parallel was getting freakier and I realized why Mom had come in here looking so worried.

I was speechless, my mind whirring too fast to process all that I had just learned. Too bad I didn’t have a powerful witch friend so I could avoid being bitten.

“So,” my mom said in a final tone. She put her hand on my desk and stood. “Be careful. With whatever you choose.” She turned to leave.

“Mom.”

She turned slightly, looking at me over her shoulder.

“Did you love him? Conor’s dad?” Seriously, was it some strange destiny that I was with Conor and she had been with his dad?

She paused. Her shoulders raised and lowered slowly. “I did.”

“What about Dad? When did you decide you loved him?” Did she have any leftover feelings for Mr. Peterson? Curiouser and curiouser.

She moved to the door. “I love your father, Ashlinn. That’s all that matters. Be careful. Good night.”

She closed the door behind her, leaving me shaking in the wake of her story. Mom and Conor’s dad? Too freaky. Did Conor know? Was he trying to avoid his dad’s mistake by not pushing me too far too fast? Or was I just more forgiving than my mother? When had she stopped loving Mr. Peterson? Had she loved Dad when she’d married him?