Want You Back (6 page)

When he didn’t respond, she swallowed. She seemed to be searching for a better response, any response other than the truth.

“Come on, Jen. Admit it You hate me.”

With an odd little grimace, she winced. Her lovely eyes smoldered, reminding him of the way they had looked when he kissed her, when they made love. He waited for her to erupt in anger, waited with an anticipation that was nearly sexual in its intensity.

Instead, she shook her head and fiddled with the radio station. “I don’t hate you, Jake.”

“Then what—”

Her chin came up, caramel eyes flashing.

For an instant he thought he’d succeeded in doing it, in bringing back the vibrant, passionate Jenny that he’d loved.

“I don’t feel anything for you.” Her tone was dry. “We are business associates, nothing more.”

For some perverse reason he felt compelled to argue. “You can say that after all we had between us?”

Again he believed she’d flare up in anger. The old Jenny certainly would have. Instead, she shot him a disdainful look, worthy of a queen.

“What happened between us was in the past and I would prefer to keep it there.”

His heart ached. He knew how she felt, however. Up until a half hour ago, he had been lying to himself too.

He had to remind himself, forcibly, that he had nothing to give her, no reason for this blatant attempt to win her back.

Still, even knowing this, accepting this, his blood thrummed with anticipation. His body throbbed, wanting her, and he did his best to ignore it.

She must have taken his silence for derision. Her lush mouth pursed, she looked from him to Malvoran House, then back again. “You don’t believe me, do you?” Defiance flashed across her mobile features.

Jake couldn’t answer. How could he, when his throat was choked with emotion and desire?

“Fine.” With a quick, jerky movement, Jenny turned her key and yanked it from the ignition. “I’ll prove it to you. Show me your precious Malvoran House. Come on, I want to go inside.”

Though he could scarcely believe his luck, Jake was taking no chances. He got out of the car in a flash,
careful
not to touch her or even look at her.

The old iron gate creaked as he opened it, reminding him he needed to oil and repaint it She slipped past him, a slender angel in high heels and navy silk. Her fragrance—something temptingly sexy—teased him as she went past.

Following the
gentle
sway of her hips, he wondered if she knew how alluring she looked. Unable to com
pliment her, he doubted it Jenny had never been vain and, unless he or someone else pointed it out to her, never thought of herself as beautiful. Howard certainly hadn’t said anything; Jake doubted Howard had even noticed.

She stood aside, waiting for him to unlock the front door. A huge oak door with an oval, leaded glass insert, the previous
owners had installed it during their brief tenure. It was one of the few things they’d done of which Jake approved.

Most of the downstairs, which would be the public area, had been completed. All that it needed was some final detail work and furnishing. He planned to spend a week or two browsing the local flea markets and antique stores for the period furnishings he needed.

The old house was looking good and Jake knew it He was proud of the parquet floor he’d installed in the foyer and he stood back to let her see it

She stopped, stood still and stared. With a muffled cry, she knelt to touch the highly polished wood. “It’s beautiful, Jake.” Her voice was soft “
Exactly
what I would have done here.”

He knew. That was why he had done it. He won
dered if she remembered that they’d walked through this house, discussing it room by room, deciding what they would do here, and there, and in that room. Of course a lot of their ideas had been intended for a family home and wouldn’t work in a restaurant, but Jake hadn’t forgotten. Not for a moment. He’d incor
porated as many of their ideas as he could.

Taking her hand, he led her through the down
stairs. Unresisting, she let him, not even bothering to try and hide her avid interest. She’d always loved this house, he knew. Loved it enough to want to buy it to raise their family in. A family which they’d never have, not now.

To make the large dining area, it had been neces
sary to knock out some walls and set up support beams. The damask draperies were on order, as were the tables and chairs, but the room had been painted in a soft rose color with the molding done in a muted cream.

Jenny said nothing as she toured the large room. Jake felt as nervous as a schoolboy, waiting for her approval. Finally she nodded, gently pulling her hand from his and taking several steps away.

“I like it.”

He tried to tamp down his elation, knowing if he kept busy, kept moving, it would be easier to hide. Pushing apart the swinging doors, he went into the kitchen.

Because it was necessary, the kitchen had been totally modernized. This was the one room that had been completely finished. There were gleaming stain
less steel ovens, four in all, and stainless steel counters and sinks. A huge industrial dishwasher took up half of one wall.

It was a functional space, made for a busy restau
rant.

Jenny walked around, saying nothing, and then trailing her fingers across the surface of a shiny piece of equipment.

Outside he could hear the crickets, even the occa
sional buzz of locusts. He knew the moon was full tonight and that the stars would be winking from the cloudless night sky. Maybe it wasn’t wise, maybe he would regret it later, but it was time to show her the patio.

Again Jake took her hand. She tensed then, after a startled look at him, relaxed. He didn’t speak— there were no words that seemed right.

The patio had two doors; one from the kitchen, and the other, larger double doors from the main dining room. He led her to the kitchen door, feeling the slight resistance in her fingers, though she fol
lowed.

At the door, he stopped. Considered. Twisted the knob and pulled it open. “I’ll let you look at this first, alone. I’ll join you in a moment.”

He could have sworn he saw thankfulness in her expression as she walked past him, closing the door behind her.

Because he needed to be busy, Jake went to the huge, walk-in refrigerator and got a bot
tl
e of wine from his personal stock. He located two crystal wine
glasses and, muttering a quick prayer, went outside after her.

She stood in the western corner, gazing out over the dark expanse of lawn. She knew as well as he did what she would find there, hundreds of wild rose
bushes, trimmed now but still heavy with blooms.

The night air seemed charged with emotion. This was, after all, the place where they had spun their dreams

As he drew closer, he saw she had her head bowed, eyes closed. Suddenly afraid, Jake set the wine bottle and glasses down on a table, reaching out for her with both hands. To his surprise and pleasure she took them, gripping tightly, though she never raised her head.

It took every bit of his willpower to keep from pulling her into his arms. Only by reminding himself that he had no right was he able to maintain a safe distance.

“Jenny
...”
His voice broke.

“Why?” When she raised her head, her eyes shone with tears. “Why’d you do it, Jake? Why did you leave me without a word, right before our wedding?”

He opened his mouth, searching desperately for the right
words, but they wouldn’t come. She saw him struggling, pulling her hands from his and rearing her head back as if he had struck her.

“No.” The flat tone she used cut him worse than any knife. “No more lies. I couldn’t bear to hear them.”

“I never lied to you, Jen.” He wanted to move closer but didn’t dare. She was too fragile, silhouetted in moonlight, and his heart too exposed to be safe.

“You said you loved me.”

He could hear the tears now, shimmering in the husky-hurt voice. “I did love you.”
Do love
you,
though he couldn’t voice the thought out loud.

“You said you wanted us to be together forever, to marry, to raise a family. Here”—she swung around, waving her hand to encompass the house, the yard, everything—“in this house.”

Pain stabbed through him. Pain and regret and . . . desire. He was only a man and, ah God, there was only so much a man could take. With a groan, Jake pulled her against him, covering her mouth with his, burying his hands in the luxuriant thickness of her hair.

Again she was his, and he hers. The past was forgot
ten, the present unimportant, only elemental male and female, beloved to beloved. The kiss shattered him; even as he deepened it. It drugged him, exhila
rated him, growing more urgent as his emotions whirled and his thoughts scattered.

Jenny. His Jenny.

With a soft moan, her arms tightened around him. Her hands seared a path wherever they touched his skin. She wanted him too, he felt her tremble with the force of it, and knew he had no choice but to pull away.

Not yet, not yet. He couldn’t make himself do it, so lost was he in the power and beauty of holding her again.

Jenny did it for him. With a
startled
cry, she turned her head, releasing him and stepping back so hastily she nearly fell. “No,” she whispered, looking at him with wide, horrified eyes, her hand across her mouth.

He wouldn’t allow her to regret it. “Don’t, pump
kin.” Like a fool he reached out a hand, meaning only to comfort her, yet she cringed away.

“Don’t call me that” She looked fierce now. Fierce and furious and confused and beguiled. “How could you? How could you touch me, kiss me? You have no right. No right at all.”

“Jen—” But there were no words with which he might
defend himself. He knew it as truly as did she.

“Tell me why, then. Why you left, why you did what you did? At least you can give me that.” As savage as her tone, he felt her pain and anger like it were his own.

“Answer me, damn you!”

Again Jake found himself at a loss for words. As of yet he still had received no communication from his superiors, nothing to tell him it was finished, that the mission had been completed. Until they did so, there was very little he could tell her or anyone. “It was not of my choice.”

Though it was the truth, she didn’t believe him; he could tell as much by the expression on her face.

Pain warred with disdain as she struggled to find words to express how she felt. “Not of your choice.” Contempt dripped from her voice. “You had a job here, friends. Me—” She turned away, shoulders heaving.

Helpless, he watched, wondering how she could cry so silently, she who had been given to great gusty sobs of heart-rending emotion. He could not touch her, not again. He knew she would not let him, knew too he had no right to offer her comfort. So he stood, hands clenched at his side, and ached.

It took only a moment before she had herself under control. Wiping at her eyes with a tissue she got from her purse, Jenny straightened her shoulder and faced him.

“I wish I could hate you,” she said, an echo of sorrow in her voice.

His heart lurched, wondering if she didn’t hate him, then what did she feel?

“But I feel too sorry for you to do that” Slowly she shook her head. “You lost out on a lot when you left here, Jake, and I was only part of it Now you’ll never have it, any of
it...
the family, the love, the home.”

She waved her hand at his restaurant, looking grim. “I hope you can live with that,” Jenny said, and turned on her heel and left.

Jake didn’t go after her.

Chapter Five

Jenny made it to her car before she collapsed. Lock
ing the doors behind her, she started it and actually made it two blocks away before she had to pull over. She thought she might be sick. Slumping over the wheel, stomach churning, she deserved to be.

She couldn’t believe she’d let him touch her, kiss her. Let him? Hah! She’d
welcomed
his kiss. For one dreamy instant, it had been so easy to forget every
thing he’d done to her and remember only what he’d meant to her.

Even now her body throbbed from wanting him.

Sometimes Jenny wished she could be like other women, those who were able to indulge in occasional affairs, taking and discarding lovers casually. But Jake had been—was still—the love of her life and she couldn’t share her body indiscriminately.

What had she done
?
And all because she’d been trying to prove that Jake meant nothing to her? No matter who she tried to tell that to, inside she would always know it was a lie.