Wandering Heart (12 page)

Cooper leaned
over the railing for a bucket and went to fill it with water by the
side of the barn.

Why didn't she
go in the house? If she knew what was tearing his guts up right now
she'd run. He'd been watching her for days and every day he was
more drawn to her.

"Greg wants to
live in town, then?" he added when he saw she wasn't budging.

Angela tipped
her head. "His house is much grander. And if he's elected I'm sure
he'll insist on that. You can't blame him; he lives in a mansion.
But somehow, mansions are never really homes, are they? And he will
be sprinting all over the country, back and forth to Washington. It
would be nice to be able to keep both places up."

"Is he that
sure he's going to win?"

"Yes."

Cooper nodded
and continued to work. There were a million reasons why he didn't
need this woman, but right now, he couldn't remember one. "I
suppose he will have an image to keep. But you know, this farm is
nothing to sneeze at." He carefully set out food for Elmerine, and
made sure the piglets were getting milk, moving a couple so they
could reach their destination, before he continued. "It's been in
your family for a mighty long time, according to what your uncle
told me. With a little hard work, it could be quite grand,
too."

Angela stifled
a laugh. "Do you see something I don't?"

Cooper stopped,
turned around and went toward the barn door, and motioned for her.
She came over to him slowly. He wanted her to see what he saw. It
seemed important. "Add another bedroom or two, upstairs. Enlarge
the porch so that it sort of wraps around the entire house. Put
siding on it, storm windows, central heat and air, and it would be
a palace any man would like to come home to, even a
Congressman."

She moved away.
It began to rain. A slow steady rain at first. It created a music
all its own.

Cooper's eyes
kept straying to Angela, who was removing her raincoat and shaking
it. She couldn't know how seductive she looked taking the raincoat
off and stretching. Right now he wished she were old and ugly. But
even then he'd want to hug and comfort her, take care of her. She
was that kind of woman.

"You better
warm yourself. I've got coffee in that thermos," he remarked
casually seeing her shiver slightly. He could warm her easily with
his own body heat, but he had to keep remembering this was another
man's woman.

"You've got it
nice and toasty in here."

"I used a
couple of space heaters earlier, but I've put them away; bad fire
hazard. Especially in a barn. Had to do something for the sake of
the piglets. They don't need a chill," he chuckled.

"You know,
Coop, you've got a lot of good ideas. But it takes money to do such
major work on a place this size. Greg wouldn't go for it. I wished
he would, but he doesn't set much store in refurbishing. He likes
things new and grand." She glanced over her shoulder as she warmed
her hands with the hot mug of coffee. A silence ensued. He could be
a very quiet man at times, but she evidently wasn't in the mood for
quietness.

"So, tell me,
why haven't you settled down in all these years?"

His head jerked
up in surprise.

"I mean
obviously you have some good ideas working for you. Hasn't any girl
ever won your heart?"

God, not this!
He didn't want to talk about other women with her. He moved toward
the stall, not looking at her. He gathered the ropes and wound
them, looping them over his arm. Anything to keep himself busy.
"Maybe." He shrugged a long moment later, not elaborating on the
subject any further. "After I left your Uncle's place I joined the
Air Force." It wouldn't hurt to tell her a little about himself.
Maybe he could satisfy her curiosity and make her leave.

"You did?" she
seemed surprised.

But he had
changed the subject, not dwelling on the female aspect of her
question.

CHAPTER
TEN

The storm was
closer, it was lightening all about, and thundering. Angela glanced
outside once more, assuring herself that Josh had made it to the
house. When she saw him wave from the window she smiled and turned
back to Coop, who seemed suddenly engrossed in work.

"Did you like
the Air Force?"

"I learned to.
But I don't seriously think many people go into it liking it. It's
something that you gain respect for, after you've been in a while.
Your uncle thought I needed a little discipline in my life. 'The
kind that shapes you into a real man,' he said. And believe me, I
got it. A lot of it. But it was good for me, I'll be the first to
admit. Those were happy times; I just didn't recognize them. I
wanted to be a pilot, but my eyes weren't good enough. Instead, I
chose radio electronics and got my degree. After the service, the
degree helped land me a great job with a computer component
company. I made a lot of money. Then I noticed that there was never
really anyone there to spend it on. I mean no one important. No
family, no girl. So, I invested. Now, I've got a nest egg for
myself. Oh, yeah, I've been thinking a lot about settling down,
getting married and maybe even starting a family. But there's a
little matter of getting the right lady. It'll only work with the
right girl. Because, you see, I don't want to live in just a house.
I want a home."

Angela was
speechless. Her face was a mask of emotions and thoughts.

"So, why didn't
you stay in electronics?"

"I never
thought I'd say this, but deep down, I'm just a farm boy. It's what
I'm best at," he admitted, until not giving her the benefit of one
of those charming smiles, "A man should know what he's good
at."

"Then why
didn't you come home? Don't you think if you'd have talked to your
dad, after all that time, he might have appreciated you a little
more? Especially since you've been gone so long?"

"No, Angel,
that's just dreaming. Because you can't go home. You ought to know
that. You of all people. When you grow up, you grow out of your
childhood family. They don't fit anymore. Besides, I wanted a place
of my own. I'm considering buying this place from you if you put it
on the market."

She watched him
quietly working with the piglets, the gentle way he handled
them.

"Besides, my
father left the place to my brother. Said I was a worthless
no account and didn't deserve the ground I stood on. Those
were his last words to me."

"Dear God, your
own father said that to you?"

"Adopted,
remember?"

"I almost
forgot. But until. I never thought of you as adopted. It must be
rather painful to talk about. I know you loved him. You wouldn't
have worked so hard if you didn't."

"Water under
the bridge, so to speak. You learn to roll with the punches."

"But as I
remember Brag, your brother, had no use for the farm."

Cooper glanced
at her now, a sardonic smile creasing his face. "I forgot you went
to school with Brag. You didn't have much use for him either, did
you?"

"Either?" She
twisted her head in question. "Brag just wasn't my type. A little
too smart-mouthed for my liking."

"Yeah, he was,
wasn't he? And me?"

She ignored
that question. "His name sure fit him, meaning no disrespect." She
smiled and looked directly at him. "And you," she said quietly as
their eyes met momentarily. "You were wild, so rebellious and so
dangerous. I think I was a little afraid of you then. You never
looked twice at me anyway."

Cooper threw
back his head and laughed a light melodious sound that lilted the
air. "Not true, I looked. But it seemed kinda wrong somehow. I got
the hell beat out of me for looking once. But I looked, Angel. I
mean, I tried to think of you as a kid. I tried real hard, but it
didn't work. Especially when you turned fourteen and seemed to
blossom under my nose. Then you started dating Raif, and I realized
the little girl next door was a young and beautiful woman. A little
late. Someone had swept you off your feet. And maybe you were right
about me being dangerous. My dad used to say women were put on
earth to enjoy, not marry. I used to think that way, too."

"Who beat you,
Coop?"

"My father.
Brag caught me watching you one day when you were out in the fields
with your folks. You were about thirteen then, and just turning
into a young woman. And naturally, being a kid with a bad hormone
problem, I noticed. Dad said you were a kid, that what I was doing
was sinful. He beat the tar out of me, and I gave up looking at my
little neighbor."

"I'm sorry for
that. I never knew."

"Not your
fault. Besides, he was right. You were just a kid."

"You said you
used to think like your father. You don't now?"

"I've rethought
it lately. After a few years in the service I realized dad wasn't
right about a lot of things. But he did take me in when no one else
did. Gave me a home, something to work for."

Angela pondered
his words, and then chuckled to herself.

He glanced up.
"What's so funny?"

"I thought you
were the best looking guy in school. I used to watch you with your
girlfriends."

"Get out of
here." Then, as though her words struck him strangely, he stared at
her. "You never let on you were interested. I figured you hated me,
with all the teasing I did."

"I didn't want
to waste my time. By the time I was old enough to be interested,
you already had a harem."

His smile died.
"Yeah, well. You want to know why Raif and I fought about stuff so
much? I was jealous of him."

Angela was
intrigued. "But why, Coop? You had a family. You had a girl.
Why?"

"It doesn't
matter." He shook his head.

"Maybe not."
She touched his arm, and pulled his attention back to her. "And
then maybe it does!"

His expression
was open and raw, as though all the hurt inside him was rushing
out.

"Oh, yeah, I
had a family. My folks never realized I existed after Brag was
born. It's all right, I knew. From the time I was eleven, I knew. I
quit feeling sorry for myself a long time ago. Brag was their
natural born son. The one they had waited so long for. I suppose,
looking at it from their angle, they never realized they made such
a difference with us. They never laid a hand on Brag. I swore I'd
never make a difference with my children, if I had any, or married
into a ready-made family. A kid is a kid, and every one of them has
potential. It isn't fair to the child, or yourself. You can lose a
lot of love that way, Angel. I hope your Greg realizes it, before
it's too late."

"My Greg?" She
batted her eyes at him.

"Never mind.
Anyway, I survived, and I finally quit feeling sorry for myself.
You can't get anywhere until you get over things like that. Let go.
The service taught me that much. But, to make a long story short,
my folks appreciated me when it came to work. I should appreciate
that."

"Now that you
mention it, you didn't really have much time to run with the other
kids, did you?"

"Do you really
think I didn't want to run with the guys back then? I would have
given my eye teeth to. But my dad kept pushing me. Someone had to
help run the farm. Me! After all, I owed him for taking me in."

"He actually
said that?"

"A time or two,
yes. And he was right. I did owe him. You were right about Brag. He
hated the place. He's an accountant now, and that's all he wants to
be. He hated farming. Until does, and in a few years he'll have it
up for sale. Mom knows that, but what can she do? That's her
son."

"It's a
shame."

"Maybe, I
thought I hated farming, too. Believe it or not your uncle restored
my faith in the land, and in people."

"Uncle Henry
was good at making you see things the right way, all right." She
shook her head.

"Yeah. Now,
Raif on the other hand, had a pretty nice family. A really nice
girl, and he could do things with his hands. He was good at
something. I'm not even sure he knew what he had. I was nothing but
a farm boy. My girl wanted nothing more than a good roll in the
hay. And, until I went into the Air Force, I didn't know how to do
anything. I was just a dumb little farm boy who hadn't grown up
yet. Your uncle had a way of pointing that out that made
sense."

"But Raif
didn't have anything either," she protested. "His parents
practically disowned him after we married."

"Didn't he?"
Cooper glanced away. "He made his own way, owing no one, despite
the fact that his folks had money. Believe it or not, I had a lot
of respect for him. And he had the love of a good woman. What more
can a man ask?"

"But every man
can have those things," she insisted, following his every step,
wanting to convince him that life wasn't hopeless. "So, why didn't
you marry? Surely in all this time there's been someone special for
you?"

"Better left
unsaid." Then he turned on her, staring at her, probing her soul.
"Don't you have something you need to be doing about now?"

"What I'm doing
right now is... important. I’m talking to you."

He couldn't
stop staring at her. He reached the short distance to pull a bit of
straw from her hair, his gloved finger falling on the tip of her
nose, and his smile warmed her. Her breath seemed to catch in her
throat.

Everything they
were talking about seemed to change, upon a minute's notice. One
minute they were talking about the past, the next minute she was
standing there, so close—so available.

"I always
thought you had freckles. I guess I never was close enough to find
out for sure." His gaze caressed her, his voice softened,
lowered.

"Sweet talk,
Coop?" Her voice had a catch in it. The rain intensified.

He removed his
gloves and bent to check on the piglet, moving a couple of them so
they could reach their mother more easily, before he glanced up at
her again.