Walking on Sunshine: A Sweet Love Story (Seasons of Love Book 1) (8 page)

I stretched out the cardigan over the bulge in my jeans and hoped the wear would give a bit more as the day went on. I refused to go up a size and I had nothing else clean. I thought of changing, but the only other thing wearable in my closet was a cocktail dress and that wasn't going to work either.

“Morning, Cee,” I said as I stepped into the kitchen, seeing Cee and Ben engaged in conversation at the kitchen table. I smiled and rummaged in the pantry, grabbing a couple power bars.
Breakfast of champions,
I thought. “What are you guys planning to do today?”

“I think we're going to go to the beach. Maybe do some swimming and training for lacrosse. Nothing says fun quite like running on a beach.” He smiled at Ben before handing me my travel mug full of coffee. Our fingertips touched and sent an electric tingle up my arm. His touch jolted me awake better than any cup of coffee could.

“Sounds entertaining. Let me know if you need anything from me. I'll hopefully be home early.” I took the cup from him and gave Ben a quick kiss on the head, trying to disguise the blush heating my cheeks. How in the world was I going to survive an entire summer of this?

***

T
he day seemed to never end. I watched the clock slowly tick by. Wednesdays were normally the busiest day. I was having a hard time concentrating on my computer screen, my mind drifted to Cee's comment about seeing me happy. The way he looked at me, just for a split second, it seemed like he was interested.

In me. Frumpy, bumpy, divorcee me.

I laughed at my own craziness. I was imagining things.

Finally, 4:30 decided to show up. I hastily grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I arrived back home to the boys playing out in the yard, passing a ball back and forth with the lacrosse sticks, laughing and talking.

It was what I always wanted for Ben. What his dad never even cared to try. A boy playing catch in the yard. Ben was happy and that was all that should matter.

I watched for a moment, enjoying seeing my son smile. Not only that, I enjoyed watching Cee's muscular form move around the yard. My breath caught in my throat, as I stared at Cee. He had taken his shirt off, the heat of the day pounding down on him until those chiseled muscles gleamed with perspiration.

It was the kind of thing that I happily committed to memory so that I could hopefully have it appear in my dreams tonight, because that was the only way I was ever going to see those muscles again.

I got out of the car and ambled up to the house, focusing on each step I took.
He is our nanny. He is too young for me
, I kept repeating in my head. There were a million reasons why the two of us would never work out and I needed to stop my silly crush before I let it turn into anything else.

Ben waved at me and I focused all my attention on him. Otherwise, the drool would start to escape my lips.

“Hi, Mom. Were almost done here. Just a few more minutes if that’s okay,” Ben pleaded.

How about a few more years? That may be enough time for me to truly appreciate this Greek god in front of me.

“Sure, as long as we don’t hold Cee up,” I answered. I felt my vocal cords constrict. All of my blood was going away from my head and heading down south with each flex of his arms. It was not fair that the man looked that good. It was impossible not to look.

“Nah, I'm all good. I don’t have plans till later.” Cee yelled, easily tossing the ball back to Ben. It flew past his shoulder and down into the bushes. With a groan of annoyance, Ben turned and chased it down the lawn. I tried to hold back a grin, glad to have Cee around for even a few more moments.

I sat down on the front porch to watch the two of them play. Glancing at the neighbor's windows, I had a feeling I wasn't the only lonely housewife watching Cee work out. It was too good to pass up.

I rolled up my pants and absorbed the warm rays from the sun. I closed my eyes, letting my thoughts drift.
What if
, floated through my mind. The thought of having a man who not only was sexy as hell, but also cared of my son was a fantasy I could happily stay in. It was a daydream that went on and on until interrupted cruelly by a horrible buzzing noise.

Damn it. I looked around, not recognizing the sound, and then found a phone sitting on the porch.

“Hey Cee, I think your phone is ringing?” I yelled, holding it up at him.

“Who's calling?” Cee yelled back.

“It looks like a... Grace?” I said, suddenly realizing what the name meant. Of course he would have a girlfriend, how could he not? I bit the inside of my cheek, scolding myself for getting carried away with someone who was obviously taken. It was silly of me to even let myself pretend that he was single. The man could cook and was good with kids- there was no way he was still on the market.

“Oh?” He stopped throwing the ball and sprinted over. I tossed him his phone.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he answered into the phone as he turned and walked a bit away. “Okay, yeah, good to know. Well, will tonight still be good?” He paused, kicking his feet back and forth over the grass. Ben made his way over to me.

“Who’s he talking to, Mom?” Ben asked.

“I'm not sure, but it doesn’t really matter. You know, Cee does have a life outside of us,” I joked, nudging him in the ribs. Ben just rolled his eyes at me.

“Perfect, thanks for letting me know and I'll be there. Can’t wait.” He smiled as he hung up and strolled back to us.

“Who was that?” Ben asked.

“Ben, you know it's none of our business,” I scolded, but I was secretly glad my child had asked the question that was burning me from the inside.

“It was just a friend with a slight change in plans tonight.”

Just a friend,
I thought with relief.
Not a girlfriend.

“Ben, I have to go and get changed.” Cee grabbed his shirt from the lawn. “I hope you had fun today. Make sure to tell your mom all about it.” He turned toward me, his eyes bright and young face eager. “Have a good evening, Jes.”

He offered out his hand to help pull me up from my sitting position. I happily extended my hand to his and enjoyed the warm sensation that crept up my arm as he wrapped his hand around mine and pulled me up. I was not expecting to be pulled up so quickly, and fell forward with momentum. In my stumble, I extended my hand, landing on his chest in an attempt to steady myself. My face immediately blushed as I felt the hard muscle underneath it.

“Thanks,” I gasped, my heart pounding out of control.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” Cee whispered. He was so close to me I could feel the electricity between us. He eyes seemed to be darker than normal, but with a blink of his eye they returned to their violet color. My hand gave a slight wave as he pulled away and put on his shirt. I was actually disappointed that I wouldn’t get to see him for a few hours.

I'm just going to miss my eye candy,
I told myself.
That's all. That's all this is.

I was a big, fat liar and I knew it.

T
he next morning, I woke up before the alarm for the first time in weeks, determined to look nice for Cee for a change. Maybe I'd even curl my hair.

Yeah, right
, I told myself, glancing at the clock. I would be lucky to put on earrings at my current pace. Just because I was up and motivated, didn't mean I was actually getting anything done.

I pulled out a long dark skirt and a flowery blouse that I always thought accentuated my figure. It played to my strengths, the few of them I felt like I still had. The shirt gave just a hint of cleavage and the skirt made my ass look like a million bucks.

It was silly, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to look like a million bucks. I wanted Cee to look at me like a million bucks.

I paused in the mirror, thinking. Why was I doing this? He was our nanny. He was younger than me. He had shown almost no interest in me. So he thought I had a beautiful smile, so what? That could be platonic.

But I didn't want it to be.

I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers into my scalp. Why did I want him to care so much? I shouldn't and I knew it. But that didn't change the flutter in my stomach at the thought of him seeing me this morning and telling me I looked nice.

I put the finishing touches on my makeup, wishing I had just a few more hours to perfect my look as I heard his car pull into the driveway. I stepped back. This was as good as it was going to get.

I hurried downstairs to let him in, smiling brightly as I opened the door to let him in.

“Wow,” Cee remarked, taking a step back. “You look great. Big meeting today?”

“Thanks.” I flushed with pleasure, loving the way his eyes traveled up and down my body. For the first time in months, I felt at least slightly attractive. I knew that my muffin top was bulging slightly and that the shirt was a little tight across my shoulders, but when Cee said I looked nice, I believed him.

“I, uh...” Cee shook his head as if I was distracting him. The thought made me laugh and preen just a little. “I got you some coffee on my way. I was stopping and thought you would like some and...”

He trailed off, then handed me the coffee before stepping into the house. Compliments and gifts from a sexy guy. This day was already shaping up to be the best Monday in the history of ever.

“Ben's still sleeping,” I told him, closing the door behind him as Cee hurried into the house. “He wanted to stay up and watch this old dinosaur movie with me. I figured he didn't have school today, so...”

I trailed off, suddenly worried that I might have upset Cee's plans with Ben.

“That's fine.” Cee grinned. “I used to love it whenever my mom let me stay up late. Besides, you and Ben come first.”

“Oh.” I was struck at how different Cee and my ex-husband were. Richard would have berated me. Even if he didn't have plans with Ben, Richard would have made a big deal about how I had upset him. It was a welcome change to have someone trust my judgment about my son.

“Do you want some breakfast?” Cee asked, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “I mean, for you and Ben?”

“That would be great,” I stammered, suddenly nervous. It was just breakfast. Cee made breakfast for us everyday. I had no reason to suddenly be nervous about being alone with Cee. But we usually had Ben as a buffer.

“What would you like? French toast? Pancakes?” Cee asked. He moved through the kitchen, pulling out pans and bowls. He looked so comfortable there. So right.

“Pancakes would be great,” I answered. “Can I help?”

“Sure.” Cee grinned at me. “If you'll grab the eggs and the milk, I'll start mixing everything together.”

I went to the fridge and pulled out the eggs and a gallon of milk, turning slowly to watch Cee as he rummaged in the pantry for the flour and sugar. He moved so smoothly that it was intoxicating to watch him. He turned and caught my gaze, and I quickly turned bright red at being caught.

“Here,” I offered, putting the milk on the counter as if I hadn't just been staring at him.

“Thanks,” he murmured, grinning at my obvious red face. “Will you grab the spatula? It should be in the drawer over there.”

I turned and went to the drawer, searching for the plastic spatula that I knew he preferred. The idea that I knew which of my spatulas he preferred made me pause. It was so comfortable to have him here. So right. A tightness, a longing that I couldn't control was growing in my chest.

“I found it,” I announced, turning around just as Cee stepped back with the bowl full of batter. We collided, and the batter went flying into the air.

I watched as the bowl fell in slow motion and splattered all over my dress.

“Oh, Jes, I'm so sorry.” Cee stared at my ruined outfit. Not even the top had been spared. He grabbed a towel from the counter and tried to brush some of the batter from my shoulder. So much for my hot outfit.

“It's fine,” I said, catching his hand in mine. He was so warm and strong beneath my fingers. And close. For the briefest moment, I considered kissing him. It felt like I could, like this could be our moment.

He reached toward my face and my breath hitched in my lungs. His violet eyes locked on mine and I forgot how to breathe. His strong hands caressed my cheek and I nearly melted into a puddle of desire. “You have batter on your face.”

“Oh,” I whimpered, hating the way my voice came out heated and full of desire. I cleared my throat. His fingers stroked my cheek and it took all that I had not to lean into him and beg for more.

There was a small sound behind me and he pulled away as if burned by my touch.

“Mom?” Ben's voice filled the kitchen and I knew why Cee had stepped back. “What happened?”

“We had a little accident,” Cee informed him, his voice deeper and richer than I remembered. “So, now we're having French Toast. Will you go grab the bread from the counter, please?”

“Sure.” Ben looked at me for a moment. “You can't wear that to work, Mom.”

“Thanks.” I said, trying not to roll my eyes. “I'll go change.”

“I'll have breakfast done when you come back down,” Cee promised.

“I'll be right back,” I said. I darted upstairs, desperate to not have the heat of desire flowing through me. He had touched me.
Caressed
me. It was making my heart do funny things and my stomach perform flip-flops.

I quickly changed into a pair of slacks and a light v-neck shirt. It wasn't anything as nice as my previous outfit, but at least it wasn't jeans and a t-shirt either. I checked the mirror to find my eyes shining and my cheeks flushed. I barely looked like myself. I looked like I was ready for sex.

It was a look that was not appropriate for my six-year-old son and his nanny. I splashed cold water onto my face, unable to get the excitement off my face. I would just have to deal with it, since now I was running late.

I hurried down the stairs, hearing Ben laugh at Cee's retelling of the pancake accident. I smiled and ducked my head into the kitchen.

“Pancake lady has to get to work,” I interrupted. “You be good today, Ben. I have my girl's night out tonight, so I'll come up and tuck you in when I get home tonight.”