Walk (Gentry Boys) (18 page)

Yes.  I had heard these stories before. 

“You’re talking about Chrome and his brother, Benton.  Cord, Creed and Chase’s father.” 

“Benton,” Deck spat the name like it tasted bad.  “He was a thick goddamn thorn in the side of everything I cared about.  For years I paid him off just to make sure he stayed put down in Emblem, away from the boys, to give them a chance.  Even though four years have passed since he wandered drunkenly into the sand and collapsed for good, I can’t get used to the idea that he’s not still lurking out there somewhere, biding his time.  Like a snake.” 

“Was Benton Conway’s father?”

Deck shrugged.  “I don’t know.  If Con knows then he’s not talking.   And even if Benton were still alive there would be no way to get an answer out of him. Benton always fucking lied more easily than he told the truth. Once he even hinted that he might be
my
father but later I found out that was impossible because at the time he was serving a six month stretch at County for taking a swing at a cop after getting busted for a DUI.”

The fire was dying down.  We stared into the flames together, Deck and I, side by side.  Now that it was quiet we could hear the women inside the house.  Jenny and Evie’s laughter blended together and drifted out to soothe the raw emotion of the moment. 

“What was he like?” I asked.  “Chrome.” 

Deck bent his head and thought for a moment.  “He could be a good father, when he wanted to be.  He could also take off for six months at a time without a care and leave my mother and me to wonder when he’d show up next.  He was funny and he was dangerous.  He was charming and he was a hell raiser.  You look a lot like him.”

“Do I?”

“Yes.”  Deck paused.  “I don’t know if he knew about you for sure, Stone, but he probably figured you were better off in Elijah’s house than you would have been with him.” 

“He was right,” I said. 

I tried to summon feelings for Chrome Gentry but beyond a few scattered images and tall tales, I knew nothing of the man.  I’d always think of Elijah as my father.  There was nothing about biology that could change that. 

I’d never known Deck to be hesitant about anything but he seemed to be waiting for me to speak.  I felt a surge of affection for him, glad that our bond was even stronger than I’d figured. 

“Strength in brothers,” I whispered. 

Deck tilted his head.  “What?”

“Magic words.  Something Con and I used to say when we were kids, especially when we were afraid and didn’t want to admit it.   We’d grab onto one another and saying those words would make us a little more fierce, a lot less lonely.”  

Deck, my brother, nodded like he understood.  He nudged my shoulder. 

“Strength in brothers,” he said.

Yes, indeed. 

Evie

I was sitting in my chair at work, sorting spreadsheet data as the office buzzed at my back, when Stone appeared out of nowhere. 

“What are you doing here?” I squealed, both surprised and excited as I leapt to my feet. 

He didn’t answer.  His just eased me back down into my chair and dropped to his knees.  I gasped when he opened my legs and abruptly pushed his face between them.  I hadn’t realized that I’d forgotten to put on panties this morning until I felt his tongue.

“Stone!” I scolded because it was a little unseemly, and actually kind of illegal, for him to go down on me in the middle of a busy office.  He just shoved his tongue deeper, sliding in and out in all kinds of creative ways as I moaned and propped my legs up on his shoulders to let him have his way. 

Meanwhile, my cubicle neighbor, Rosalie, was chattering on the phone about an upcoming project bid as coworkers kept walking past and gazing at me curiously.

Stephanie hurried by with a legal pad in her arms but she paused long enough to offer a ‘way to go!’ fist pump. 

The head of Daft Davis peered over my cubicle wall, appraised the situation and casually said, “Please tidy up the break room when you’re finished with your meeting.”  

A pair of colleagues from the sales department walked by with coffee cups in their hands.  They were so busy discussing last night’s episode of some show called
Worst Moms Ever
that they failed to notice that I was a limp puddle of ecstasy at the mercy of Stone Gentry’s mouth. 

My body tensed involuntarily.  I was close, so close. 

“Oh god!” I yelled. 

“Did you say something, Evie?” Rosalie called sweetly over the wall of the cubicle. 

“I’m coming. 
Oh fuck, I’m coming
…”

I awoke in my own bed in the soft light of early morning with Stone’s face buried between my thighs.  I barely had time to appreciate the way my dream world had meshed with reality because I really
was
coming and coming hard.   My fingers tangled themselves in his hair as my body pulsed with every delicious spasm. 

Stone barely waited two seconds before switching positions, flipping me over to my stomach and grabbing my hips so he could find his way inside. 

“Can you go again, baby?” he asked a minute later. 

I could.  I did.  We collapsed into sweaty bed sheets and then my alarm clock radio clicked to life and began playing
I’ve Got You, Babe.
 

Stone grumbled when I wouldn’t let him shower with me but a joint shower was never a good recipe for getting ready on time.   

“What time do you have to report today?” I asked over the howl of the hair dryer as Stone jumped in the shower for his turn. 

“Nine o’clock,” he answered as he turned the water on full blast. 

Stone had finally allowed Deck to ask around about a job on his behalf.  He’d been a little stunned to get confirmation that Deck was actually his half brother but he was glad.  Deck had been always really good to him and he admired Deck a great deal. 

Anyway, Deck had found out that one of his old business partners owned a moving company and was looking for help.  The moves were all local, mostly college kids, and it was steadier work with better pay than his other job.  Best of all, the boss didn’t give a shit about prison records as long as his workers were intent on keeping their noses clean now.

Stone had been a little shy about telling me about his new job, like he thought I might turn my nose up at his blue collar prospects.  He should know that such things were never on my mind.  That was an attitude reserved for the Darcys of the world.  In reality, most men weren’t oblivious billionaires and most women weren’t money hungry snakes.  Stone was eager to work hard and earn his way up.  I respected him enormously for that.  

He’d left the shower curtain partially open and I kept sneaking sidelong glances at him as I finished with the blow dryer.  No matter how many times I saw him naked I always stared in open-mouthed fascination at the sight of his body.  After he shut the water off and grabbed a pink towel from the rack, he flashed me a grin that managed to be both sweet and lustful. 

“I’ll only be in the office for a few hours,” I said, trying to concentrate on my makeup.  It was Saturday but I needed to get a few things done, although if Stephanie knew she’d scold me for coming in at all on a day off.  “Then I was going to have lunch with an old friend.” 

He stood behind me as he toweled off with a frown.  “What old friend?”

I batted my eyelashes.  “Are you feeling possessive?”

He grabbed my ass.  “Abso-fucking-lutely.” 

I laughed.  “He’s not that kind of friend.”

“Does he have a dick?”

“Yes.  But it wouldn’t be interested in me.” 

“I see.  Not sure what time I’m going to be off later.  I’ve got back to back jobs today.” 

Stone had kept his party setup gig for the time being.  He said it was good to have the extra money and he wanted to make sure the new place was going to work out before he thought about dropping the first job.   

I reached for his hand.  “You coming over afterwards?”

He grinned and directed my hand somewhere useful.  “Try and stop me.” 

On his way out, Stone borrowed my hardcover copy of
Les Misérables
to read during break time.   He kissed me passionately before we parted with reluctance. 

As I watched him walk away I wondered why there wasn’t more porn dedicated to insufferable sex machines who never went anywhere without a book.  Stone was a voracious reader and was rapidly exhausting my personal library.  Every time I caught him lounging around in his boxers reading some Hemingway or Dostoyevsky my breath left my chest and my legs turned to rubber. Forget all the tough guy stereotypes; show me a hot man with a book any fucking day and I’ll liquefy. 

Thankfully the office was mostly empty, except for some members of the sales team who shouted at one another in the conference room as they worked on a huge bid for the state.

I blushed a little as I sat down at my desk and remembered last night’s reality-based dream.  It was tough to transition from sweet orgasmic memories to ugly columns of spreadsheet numbers but after daydreaming among the gray cubicle walls for an unproductive hour I managed to get a few things done.   

Eventually my phone alarm pinged, letting me know it was time to get moving if I didn’t want to be late meeting Hayden for lunch.  My stomach did a little flip, not a pleasant kind of flip.  More of a nervous growl. 

I hadn’t seen Hay in two years.  We’d met for lunch shortly after he moved to Phoenix to attend law school at ASU’s downtown campus but it was a grim sort of reunion, packed with self-conscious pauses.  Those pauses were full of Macon and sadness.  We parted as sad strangers and kept away from each other since then.  It was hard to believe we’d once been close friends, that we’d navigated the awkward adolescent years together.  He and Macon always let me tag along for their long hikes through the wilderness while I’d feel both wistful and jealous over the sight of their linked hands, their secret kisses.  The summer after sophomore year they came out as a couple and though Hayden had been popular since birth, he became a virtual superstar overnight with my handsome brother at his side. 

They were
that
couple in high school, the beautiful people who were envied and adored.  They were homecoming kings, junior prom kings.  They were the undoubted rulers of the local teenage party scene and in my youthful naivety I figured they’d grow up and get married and live happily ever after because that’s what people did when they were in love.  

But then came that one party. 
Try it.  Just try it.
My brother chased those pills with a beer and though I felt a twinge of disapproval I said nothing.

I didn’t know yet how far down the rabbit hole it was possible to fall.
But that night, those pills, were the first of the tumbled dominoes that would eventually rob every one of us who loved Macon Dupont. 

Hayden smiled and stood when he saw me.   I’d been scanning the busy restaurant, wondering if it had been a cruel thing on my part to call him.  But then he held his arms out as I reached his table and we hugged like the old friends we were. 

“Wow, you look amazing,” I said, taking a seat. 

He was more suntanned and muscled than I remembered, dressed with casual perfection in beige trousers and a quality blue button up shirt that was rolled to his elbows.

“The years have been good to you too, Mademoiselle Eponine.”  He grinned at me and spread his napkin on his lap. In another life he liked to tease me by calling me by my full first name. 

The waitress filled our water glasses and we fell into polite conversation, filling each other in on the life details we’d missed.  Hay was in his final year of law school and was also in a long term relationship with a junior lawyer at the district attorney’s office.  He watched me as he talked about his boyfriend, Alec.  It was like he was awaiting my disapproval.  He visibly relaxed when I said I was happy for him.  I was.  I truly was, even though a jealous streak in my soul would always insist Hayden belonged with my brother. 

It was wrong of me to feel that way, however fleetingly.  I knew how Hayden had suffered, how he’d waited.  I’d held him as he sobbed with anguish because the man he loved had become hopelessly locked in the brutal fist of addiction.

I was careful not to mention Macon’s name as I talked brightly about current events.  There was no need to fake a cheerful tone when it came to talking about Stone.  Hay had his eyebrows raised before I got three sentences out. 

“So you still can’t help but wear your feelings all over your face,” he laughed. “That unique scarlet hue in your cheeks must mean this Stone fellow is quite something.” 

“He is something,” I admitted.

“You know, your historically awful taste in boys always drove me up a fucking wall.”  He was running his fingers along the sweating water glass.  “It’s good to see you happy.” 

“It’s good to
be
happy.  And I’m glad to hear you’ve found someone too.” 

When he looked at me his dark eyes were no longer full of laughter.  I tensed, knowing there were less pleasant subjects waiting for their turn. 

There was a brief reprieve when the waitress dropped off his wedge salad and my BLT.  I hadn’t realized I was starving until I took a bite. 

“How’s Marion?” Hayden finally asked with some delicacy as he picked over his salad. 

I finished chewing and swallowed.  “She’s busy teaching again.  The move to Utah has been good for her.”

Hayden set his fork down.  “Has she been down to visit you here?”

I heard the unspoken question.
Has she been down to visit him? 

I sat back, no longer hungry.  “She tried.  It hurt her too much.  I think she might have been relieved when he wouldn’t see her.” 

I looked into my water glass and saw my mother’s pained eyes, still bewildered over the loss of her once perfect family. We
had
been perfect.  We had been the Duponts. 

“It must be hard,” Hayden said softly. 

“For all of us,” I agreed.  “We all lost him.  The world lost him.  I wish he didn’t hate me, Hay.” 

My friend flinched.  “He doesn’t hate you.”

“He doesn’t like me either.  I don’t know why I keep going down there.  Somehow I’m still hoping one of these days his heart will soften and he’ll actually come out to the visiting room, although I don’t know what we’d say to each other even if he did.  We could talk about our dead father, our depressed mother.  We could talk about false promises and crushed dreams.  We could talk about what he’s going to do when he gets out and how long it’ll take him this time to wind up on the streets or back in prison.  Or maybe we could talk about what it will be like to get the inevitable phone call one day that my brother is dead.” 

Hayden looked away, but not before I saw the tears in his eyes.  I was really a colossal bitch, dragging the guy out here to revisit terrible feelings when probably all he wanted to do is laugh and be happy and make love to Alec. 

“Life doesn’t stop, Evie,” he whispered.  Then he looked at me frankly, blinking the tears away.  “Macon will always be a thousand beautiful memories to me.  But I couldn’t keep trying to save him without losing myself.  I had to let him go.” 

I crumpled my napkin.  “And you think I should let him go too.” 

He shook his head miserably.  “It’s different for you.  I understand that.  You came into the world together.  When we were kids I used to think of you as two sides of a coin, differently faced but impossible to separate.  But that was before I knew that there were uncontrollable forces that could take a vibrant, amazing man and turn him into something destructive and unrecognizable.”  He sighed and bent his head.  “I’ll always love Macon.  But having him in my life was wrecking me.” 

I couldn’t talk about it anymore.  Hayden was saying in a roundabout way that there was probably no hope.  Some people will ruin you as surely as they have ruined themselves.