Waking Up in Charleston (5 page)

Her expression remained stoic and determined. “I’ve long since learned to live with regrets. My relationship with my father is what it is. There’s nothing I can do to change it.”

“Amanda, surely you know better than that,” he chided. “Aren’t you even willing to try?”

“Stop pushing me on this, Caleb,” she responded heatedly. “Stop trying to make it sound as if I’m throwing some stubborn little snit. It was my father’s decision to cut me out of his life. He’s going to have to be the one to reach out. I’m done.”

Caleb heard the unyielding tone in her voice and decided it would be prudent to back down. Otherwise she might start asking a whole lot of questions he didn’t want to answer, such as when he’d become such an advocate for Big Max.

“Okay, you’ve made your point,” he said quietly, trying to hide his disappointment.

She frowned at him. “Don’t you dare look at me like that,” she snapped.

“Like what?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

“As if I’m disappointing you.”

“Sorry. It’s the circumstances that disappoint me, not you specifically. Nothing is more important than family, and I hate seeing people turning their backs on the ones they have.”

“Then go have this chat with Big Max. He’s the one who’s raised rejection to a whole new level.”

“Maybe I will,” he said mildly, wondering if she hadn’t inadvertently given him the perfect excuse to do what he’d already been attempting to do—build a bridge between these two.

She seemed startled by his response, but then her shoulders squared stiffly. “Just don’t bother reporting back to me. I don’t want to hear anything you might have to say about my father.”

Caleb sighed. “Look, I’m sorry I brought it up, okay? Let’s get back to the tree house for a minute. Maybe the
boys are right and Josh will help. I can probably put it together, but it’s bound to be sturdier with an expert on the premises. He’d be a help with Susie’s playhouse, too. And he may well have leftover supplies, so there won’t be many expenses. I’ll give him a call.” He forced a smile and moved on. “Did you see the look in your sons’ eyes when you agreed to let them do this? They’re over the moon.”

Amanda’s anger visibly faded and she smiled slowly. “They were, weren’t they? For the first time in I can’t remember how long, it feels good not to have to deny them something they want.”

“A little denial isn’t bad for a child,” he reminded her. “It helps them learn that sometimes you have to work hard to earn the things you want.”

“I know, but I would give them everything if I could,” she said.

He understood the sentiment, but he couldn’t help reminding her, “That’s how Bobby felt, and look where it led.”

“Believe me, no one is more aware of that than I am,” she said soberly. “And if I forget it from time to time in my desire to make up to them for the bad times, I hope you’ll bring me back in line.”

“You’re a good mother, Amanda. I don’t think you need me to tell you what’s right.”

A part of him wanted to tell her, though, that he’d always be around if she needed him to fall back on, but it was the wrong thing to say, the wrong time to say it.

“I should go,” he said instead. He needed to remind himself that this wasn’t his home, wasn’t his family and that he’d already overstepped the boundaries tonight.

“But you barely ate any of your pizza,” she protested.

“I’ll take a couple of slices home with me. I can eat while I’m going over my sermon for tomorrow.”

He thought he detected disappointment in her expression, but she was quick to recover and offer a bright smile.

“I’ll wrap it up for you,” she said. “I wouldn’t want you to stand up there in front of the entire congregation and have to wing your way through a sermon, though something tells me you could do it. You have quite a way with words.”

“It’s probably best if we don’t put that theory to the test,” he said.

Inside, he accepted the pizza from her, then headed for the door. “Good night, Amanda. Thanks.”

She regarded him with surprise. “For what?”

For sharing your family, he wanted to say, but he doubted she’d understand how much it meant to him. It was probably best if she didn’t even try.

“The pizza, of course.”

“Thank you for hauling that armoire in for me.”

Caleb looked into her eyes and couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away. There was a time in his life when he would have responded to the need that was so plain in her eyes, when he might have reached for her, kissed her thoroughly and left wanting more. Now he simply left.

No, he thought as he got into his car. It hadn’t been that simple. Even without the kiss, he still wanted more.

Mary Louise hadn’t heard a single word of Reverend Webb’s sermon. Instead, she’d been clutching the
prayer book in her hands so tightly it had carved lines in the palms of her hands.

Beside her, Danny was staring straight ahead, his shoulders slumped, looking miserable. It made her heart ache, seeing him like that.

She knew what she had to do this afternoon after church. As much as it was going to hurt, as furious as her parents were going to be, she had to let Danny go. She loved him enough to do that. She wanted him to be everything he’d dreamed of becoming, a brilliant architect and historical preservationist. She couldn’t stand in the way of that. She couldn’t let one mistake change the course of both their lives.

She reached over and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. In less than an hour, they would be in Reverend Webb’s office and she would be giving Danny his freedom. She didn’t know what would happen to her after that, but she knew it was the right thing to do. If Danny wanted to be a part of his baby’s life, well, they’d find a way to make that work, even if it just about killed her to see him and know it was over between them.

The sermon ended, the collection plate was passed and then there was one last hymn and the recessional. It all went by in a blur. It all happened too fast.

Danny looked over at her. “You ready?”

Mary Louise nodded.

Instead of going out the front door where they’d have to speak to everyone, they slipped out a side door and went straight to Reverend Webb’s office. He came in right behind them and closed the door.

“Will your folks be joining us later?” he asked.

“We decided against asking them to come,” Mary
Louise said. “We needed to make this decision on our own. Once we’ve talked it over with you, we’ll tell them what’s going on.”

“Don’t you think they might have been able to offer some sound advice?” Reverend Webb asked.

Mary Louise gave him a wry look. “You mean after they stopped yelling at us and calmed down?”

He laughed at that. “You might have a point, though I’m not sure you’re giving me much credit. I might have been able to keep the yelling to a minimum.”

“Not with my folks,” Mary Louise said, resigned to the explosion that lay ahead. “They’re going to have a hissy fit.”

“Mine, too,” Danny said bleakly. “Especially when they find out I’m going to be blowing off a college scholarship.”

“Then you’ve decided to move back here and get married?” the minister asked, his tone pretty even for a guy who’d been advocating against that.

Mary Louise shook her head. “Actually, that’s not what we’ve decided,” she said, proud that her voice hardly wavered at all. She met Danny’s startled gaze and held it. “I think getting married is a bad idea. It’s not what Danny wants, not now, anyway, and I don’t want to live with knowing that I ruined his chance to go for his dream.”

There was no mistaking the relief in Danny’s eyes, but he asked quietly, “Are you sure about this, Mary Louise? I’ve given it a lot of thought, too. We could make it work if we had to.”

If we had to.
That grudging phrase told the whole story. “No, we couldn’t.” She avoided Danny’s gaze
and faced Reverend Webb. “You see, I really did listen to what Mrs. O’Leary said the other day, and I saw how frazzled she was when the kids started acting up. I know we’d only have one baby, but even one would probably make a lot of noise. Danny would wind up being tired all the time and missing classes and stuff or failing tests. It’s not fair. Sooner or later, he would resent me and the baby. I get that now.”

“It’s not fair that you’ll have to cope with all that alone, either,” Reverend Webb said gently. “Is that what you’re suggesting? Do you still plan to keep the baby?”

Mary Louise nodded emphatically. “I want this baby. I won’t give it up, but this is my choice, not Danny’s.”

Reverend Webb turned to Danny. “This girl of yours is pretty amazing.”

Danny’s eyes glistened with tears. “I know that. And she shouldn’t be the only one making a sacrifice. We made this baby together.”

Mary Louise saw that a part of him wanted still to do the right thing and she loved him for it, but she couldn’t do this by half measures. “Danny, this is what I want. That’s the difference between you and me. You see what you’d be giving up and I see what I’m getting. It’s my decision to keep the baby and it’s my decision to let you go. We can decide later about custody and stuff. I’ll never keep you from the baby, but I won’t expect you to be a part of its life, either. That’s up to you.” She managed to get the words out without a single tear leaking out. She was proud of herself.

“I’ll make support payments,” Danny said, sitting taller. “That’s only right. It might not be much at first, but we can set it up so it’s more later, once I graduate
and get a halfway decent job.” He looked toward Reverend Webb for support. “Is that fair?”

“I think so,” the minister said.

“And the baby?” Mary Louise asked, her heart thumping unsteadily. “Will you want to see the baby?”

Danny hesitated, his eyes filled with uncertainty. “I…I don’t know,” he whispered. “Can we decide that later?”

The last shred of hope inside Mary Louise died. Their baby still didn’t matter to him, not the way it did to her. “Sure,” she said stoically. “Later’s good.”

Maybe later her heart wouldn’t ache as if Danny had just stuck a knife into it.

A
manda’s backyard was crawling with people. Okay, there were only six adults besides herself, but the way the kids were scurrying around and getting in everyone’s way, it felt like more. Maggie had called Saturday morning and announced that she and Josh were coming by to help with the tree house construction and they were bringing Dinah and Cord, along with Josh’s mother, Nadine, and George Winslow.

“I take it Caleb recruited you all,” Amanda said.

“He mentioned it to Josh, who called Cord,” Maggie said. “I’m the one who decided the guys shouldn’t have all the fun. You, Dinah, Nadine and I can make curtains and stuff for Susie’s playhouse, which I gather is the next construction project. Something tells me these kids are going to be the envy of the whole neighborhood, if not most of Charleston. Our men must have had very deprived childhoods. They’re really getting into this. I haven’t seen Josh this excited about building something in ages.”

“And you’re not as into it as he is?” Amanda teased. “It sounds as if you’re already working on an interior-design plan for the playhouse.”

“It’s curtains,” Maggie protested. “I can whip those up with my eyes blindfolded.”

“I can’t get over the fact that you sew, too,” Amanda said, feeling instantly inadequate. Maggie seemed to possess all sorts of skills Amanda didn’t have. She’d even worked right alongside the men on the construction of Amanda’s house.

“In my world, little girls learned to paint and sew,” Maggie admitted. “Some of it took before I rebelled and learned how to use a hammer and saw. I much preferred playing with boys to doing sissy stuff with girls.”

“I’m in awe.” Amanda’s father hadn’t pushed her to learn any of the so-called feminine pursuits. He’d steered her toward his own interests. Instead of a little patent-leather purse, he’d given her a custom-made miniature briefcase. She’d had to beg for a doll, and then he’d managed to custom order one dressed in a designer business suit.

“I can barely hem the kids’ clothes, much less make something from scratch,” she told Maggie.

Maggie laughed. “Hey, don’t get the idea I’m on a par with a professional seamstress. The curtains will be frilly and they’ll do the job. They won’t be perfect.”

“Susie will love them no matter what,” Amanda said. “Now, what can I do for this gathering? It’s short notice, but I can whip up some hamburgers and potato salad for lunch.”

“Not necessary,” Maggie said. “Caleb said he’d have that covered. He’s going to be running late, so he’ll bring lunch for the whole crew with him. And Nadine said she’d make some lemonade and pick up sodas.”

A part of Amanda chafed at the generosity. It
smacked of more charity. “I should be doing something,” she protested.

“Paper plates and napkins,” Maggie suggested. “Or maybe once the guys get there, you and Susie would like to meet Dinah and me at the fabric store. Susie might like to choose the material.”

Amanda declined. She’d wanted to make sure the house was spotless before her first impromptu party. She didn’t want any of these people to think she didn’t prize the home they’d built for her and couldn’t care for it properly.

Of course, the men had barely spared the inside of the house a glance as they’d headed straight for the backyard. And the women had immediately congregated in the kitchen, which had been turned into a sewing room and was now covered with yards and yards of pink eyelet fabric.

“I had curtains made out of material just like this when I was six,” Dinah said, her expression nostalgic. “It was the prettiest room I ever had. When I have a little girl, I’m going to do her room exactly the same way.” She scowled as the needle she was using to sew a hem pricked her finger. “Of course, someone else is going to make the damn curtains.”

Maggie regarded her with interest. “Any timetable for the arrival of this girl?” she inquired.

To everyone’s surprise, Dinah blushed. “Could be sooner rather than later.”

“You’re pregnant?” Maggie asked delightedly. “Does Cord know?” She shook her head. “Of course he does. You’d tell him first, wouldn’t you? When’s the baby due? How soon will you know if it’s a boy or a
girl? Oh, Lord, this is going to give Josh ideas.” She sat back, looking stunned.

Amanda laughed. “I have never heard one woman’s good news cause such commotion for someone else before.”

“Then you haven’t spent nearly enough time around Maggie,” Dinah said dryly. “Trust me, she is not worried about this giving Josh ideas. She’s the one who’s always had to do everything I do and twice as fast.” She grinned at Maggie. “Sorry, sweetie. Not this time. I’ve got an insurmountable head start.”

Maggie’s gaze instantly narrowed. “How much of a head start?”

Nadine draped an arm around her daughter-in-law’s shoulders. “Maggie, honey, when it comes to babies, it’s all but impossible to make up any kind of a head start. Nine months is pretty much the rule. You can’t set out to have your baby in eight, though I for one would certainly like to see you try. I’m ready to be a grandmama.”

“But with those early pregnancy tests, Dinah could be only a few days pregnant,” Maggie argued. “If I take Josh home right this minute—”

“Give it up, Magnolia,” Dinah said. “This is one contest I’m going to win. Do you think I’m stupid enough to tell you news like this when you might have time to catch up?”

“So when is the baby due?” Maggie asked. “It’s November now.”

“I’m not telling,” Dinah said, her lips twitching with amusement.

Maggie headed for the door. “Cord will tell me. I always could wrap that man around my finger.”

“Not this time,” Dinah retorted. “I’ve put him on notice that he is not to tell you a blessed thing about this baby’s due date.”

Amanda listened to the two of them sparring as only best friends could and regretted that she’d never had a friendship that ran that deep. Her father had been her best friend, and then Bobby had taken his place. Now with both of them out of her life, she recognized the foolhardiness of not making more of an effort to surround herself with women like these.

“Hey, you okay?” Nadine asked, studying her worriedly.

Amanda nodded. “Just feeling a little envious, I guess.”

“Because of the baby?” Dinah asked. “Would you like to have another one someday?”

“Sure,” Amanda said without hesitation. “I loved every second of being pregnant, even the morning sickness. I loved it when the baby started to move inside me. I can’t say I was crazy about the pain of getting those little monsters into this world, but holding them in my arms for the first time was amazing. When they call it one of God’s greatest miracles, they get it exactly right.”

No sooner had she spoken than she looked up and spotted Caleb standing on the other side of the screen door. He looked as if someone had just delivered devastating news.

“Caleb?” Amanda asked, regarding him with concern. “Are you okay?”

He smiled, but she knew him well enough now to recognize that it was forced.

“I’m great. Just loaded down with all this food,” he
said, juggling several bags. “Can somebody get the door for me?”

Nadine sprang up to do it. Maggie and Dinah immediately began poking in the bags to see what he’d brought for lunch, pulling out huge containers of coleslaw and barbecue and potato salad.

“Pickles?” Dinah queried. “Where are the pickles?”

“Right here, little mother-to-be,” Maggie responded, retrieving a plastic container of dill pickles. “I imagine you think they’re all for you.”

“Of course,” Dinah said, reaching for them.

During the exchange Amanda kept her gaze on Caleb. She’d never seen him looking quite so out of his depth before. She crossed the room. “Can I get you something to drink? A soda, maybe? Or the guys have beer in a cooler outside.”

“No, I’m fine,” he said with another of those halfhearted smiles.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” she pressed, keeping her voice low while Maggie, Nadine and Dinah chattered on.

“Nothing’s going on,” he said more tersely than he’d ever spoken to her before. He immediately winced. “Sorry. Bad morning, I guess. I’ll go outside and take out my foul mood on some wood. Hammering a few nails should make me feel better.”

Amanda reluctantly let him go. How could he claim that the two of them were friends when it was apparently so one-sided? He was always there for her, but the one time he looked as if he needed a friend, he shut her out.

She might not have a lot of experience with friend
ship, but she knew that wasn’t the way it was supposed to work, which meant that the minute this crowd dispersed, she and Caleb were going to have a chat. She was going to get to the bottom of whatever had put that lost and devastated look on his face.

Caleb wanted to kick himself for betraying even a hint of his reaction to Amanda’s comments about having another baby. Thankfully she’d only picked up on the fact that there was something wrong, not what had triggered his mood. He had a hunch, though, that he hadn’t heard the last of it. She was going to get in his face the very first chance she had.

Which meant, of course, that he needed to be away from her house one step ahead of everyone else. The minute the food had been served and the kids had gone inside for their naps, he made his excuses and started around the side of the house. Even though it made him feel like the worst sort of coward, he did it while Amanda was inside.

Unfortunately, the woman apparently had radar. She met him the second he turned the corner into the front yard.

“Going somewhere?” she inquired sweetly, her expression knowing.

“I have an appointment,” he said. It was only a slight stretch of the truth. He was going over to Mary Louise’s later to talk to her parents about the baby. She’d called that morning and asked him to be there when she broke the news. She’d sounded so nervous and uncertain, he’d agreed immediately.

There it was again. The whole baby thing. It seemed
like everywhere he turned these days people were talking about babies. It was beginning to take a toll.

“Oh?” Amanda said, her expression skeptical. “Anything you’d care to talk about?”

“Sorry, it’s confidential,” he said evasively. “And I really do need to get going.”

She studied him with apparent disappointment. “I thought you trusted me more than this.”

“I told you, this appointment is confidential.”

“I’m not talking about that,” she said impatiently. “I’m talking about the fact that you’re obviously upset and you’re trying to hide the reason from me.”

“I can’t talk about it, Amanda. I really can’t.” He’d never discussed it with anyone, and Amanda was the last person with whom he’d share it. He hated the idea that it might change the way she looked at him.

“Then it’s all part of this confidential meeting you’re going to?” she asked.

For the first time since he’d known her, Caleb lied. “Yes,” he said. He could live with the lie far more easily than he could live with Amanda ever knowing the truth.

She regarded him sadly. “I wish I believed you.”

She turned and walked away, leaving him standing there knowing that he’d just lost something that really mattered. He’d lost her trust, something he’d spent months and months trying to earn. He couldn’t help wondering if, once all the truths started coming out, he would ever get it back again.

Mary Louise wished her mom and dad weren’t looking at her like that, as if she were such a terrible disap
pointment to them. The minute she’d told them about the baby, her mom’s eyes had filled with tears and her dad had looked as if someone had punched him in the stomach.

“Where the hell’s Danny?” her father asked furiously. “Why isn’t he sitting here beside you? What kind of coward leaves his girl to break this kind of news alone?”

“I didn’t want him here,” Mary Louise said, looking to Reverend Webb for support. He gave her an encouraging smile. “Danny and I talked about this and we’ve met twice with Reverend Webb. We know what we’re going to do, or I guess I should say what we’re not going to do.”

Her mother’s hand covered a gasp. “Please don’t say he’s not going to marry you, Mary Louise.”

“Mom, it’s for the best,” she said urgently. “Getting married now would ruin all of Danny’s plans for the future, and sooner or later he’d come to hate me and the baby. That’s the last thing I want.”

Her father rose to his feet, his face red. “You’re going to sit here and tell me that boy is not willing to make an honest woman of you? We’ll see about that. I have a shotgun in the other room that says otherwise.”

“That’s not an answer, Chet,” Reverend Webb said mildly. “Forcing two kids to get married when they recognize all the pitfalls won’t help anyone, least of all your grandchild.”

Her dad scowled at Reverend Webb. “At least my grandchild would have its daddy’s name.”

“And now it will have mine…and
yours,
” Mary Louise stressed with a touch of defiance. “And that’s okay.
I’ve made my peace with raising this baby on my own.” She gave her father a hard, unyielding look. “And I can do it completely on my own, if that’s the way it has to be.”

“Oh, Mary Louise,” her mother whispered, her voice thick with tears. “Are you sure you want to do this? You could…” Her voice faltered.

“What? Have an abortion? Give the baby away?” Mary Louise said. “No way. Neither of those is an option. This is Danny’s baby and I want to keep it.”

Her mother turned to Reverend Webb. “Talk to her. Tell her how difficult this is going to be.”

“I think she knows,” he said gently. “Your daughter is very mature. You should be proud of her. She hasn’t come to this decision lightly. Neither has Danny. I can vouch for that. In the end, they made the decision together. He’ll acknowledge the baby and pay what he can in support.”

“Well, that’s mighty damn big of him,” her father blustered. “Seeing as how he’s the one who got her into this fix.”

“We made this baby together,” Mary Louise corrected him staunchly. “Don’t blame it all on Danny. He’s a good guy. He’s just not ready to be married or to be a father.”

“Well, ready or not, it looks as if he’s about to be a daddy. He ought to be man enough to be a husband, too,” her father insisted. “I don’t care what the rest of you say, I’m going over there to talk some sense into him. I imagine his folks will see my side of it, especially when I ask ’em how they’d feel if it was that little princess of theirs. I imagine if Cindy came to them with this news, they’d want the boy to do the right thing.”