Waking Charley Vaughan (21 page)

“Can I get a ride while you’re here?”  My sister’s face was one of stunned annoyance.

“Dammit, Charley!” She yelled, “You scared the daylights out of me.”

I smiled weakly, “Sorry, Code.”

She shook her head. “Why didn’t you just tell me it was you?”

“Would you have come to get me?” I asked, putting my suitcase in the back seat and closing the door.

As I got into the passenger seat she grumbled, “Probably not. But I might have sent Casey.”

“That’s what I figured,” I said, turning in the seat to face her. “I needed to talk to you first. I knew you liked Sara enough to pick her up if I begged.”

“So childish,” she mumbled as she put the car in drive and took us out of the airport.

We drove for a while without me asking her where she was going. When she took a turn onto the small road that lead to our house, it dawned on me. “Not home!” I shouted.

She jumped. “For God’s sake, Charley!” she yelled. “Where am I supposed to take you then? You show up out of nowhere, don’t tell me where you’re going, or why you’re here, and now you don’t want to go home. Honestly!”

“Let’s just go to Lucy’s,” I told her. “I’ll buy you lunch.”

She grumbled about how I didn’t need to buy her anything, or do her any favors, but turned the car toward the café we used to go to almost daily.

Lucy’s looked exactly the same as the last time I’d seen it. The walls were still full of works from local artists. The menus hadn’t changed either. I flipped mine over to find three small c’s scrawled in the back corner. My junior year, my sister’s and I had scratched the letters into the back corner of our menu every time we’d eaten there. It was a small comfort to see the reminder of all the good times we’d had together at these tables.

We sat for a few minutes, my legs shaking with anxiety, and Codey sitting across from me, playing with the napkin ring, doing her best to pretend I wasn’t there.

“Codey,” I started. She gave me a withering look. “I need to tell you something.”

“You keep saying that,” she interrupted. “But so far, all you have managed to tell me is that you need to tell me something. Out with it already, Chuck,” she stared me down.

I rolled my eyes. “ I came here to apologize.”

She looked at me again from across the table, but this time her eyes softened just the slightest bit.

“For what?” she asked, testing the waters.

“You know for what, but if I need to say it, that’s fine,” I said, folding my hands and placing them on the table in an effort to stop myself from reaching out to her. My little sister hadn’t been willing to hug me or hold my hand or even let me touch her for years. If I reached out to put my hand on hers in the sisterly gesture I so much wanted to use, it would only end badly I was sure. “I ran away,” I continued. “I couldn’t handle Mom anymore, and Dad wasn’t helping anything, and I just left.”

My eyes started to well up. I hadn’t expected that reaction so soon. But, sitting there across from the sister I was once so close to, and realizing how my actions had hurt her—had ruined our friendship— it made me sad. It broke my heart more than Matt or Brennan ever could have.

“I was selfish. I didn’t mean to be, but I was. I was running because I was too chicken to confront her, but I didn’t think about what that meant for you and Casey—what I was leaving you both to deal with.”

I looked down at my hands, sniffing and trying to hide my tears from her—too afraid she’d sense the weakness and attack. “I’m so so sorry, Codey. I don’t want you to hate me forever. I miss you. And I miss Casey. I want my sisters back. Everything is falling apart and the only person I have to turn to is Sara, and that’s not right. I have two sisters. I should be able to talk to you, but I can’t, and I only have myself to blame and I’m sorry.” I expected Codey to roll her eyes like she’d taken to doing for so many years now. Instead, she surprised me by reaching out her hands and placing them on my folded ones.

“We thought you were leaving
us
, too,” she said. “We thought you were sick of us just as much as you were sick of Momma. You moved so far away,” she said sadly. “It felt like a statement to us just as much as it was one to her.” I looked up to see her eyes were filling up, too.

“We thought you would move to New Orleans or Florida,” she continued. “Somewhere we could visit you, or follow you when we were ready. When you moved out to Colorado, we just assumed that meant you didn’t want us tagging along.”

“No!” I said too loudly, earning us some looks from some of the other lunchtime patrons. I brought my voice back down, “I never meant that. I just needed to get away from her. To get away from all of the ridicule and the fighting. I’m so sorry,” I said again. “I never ever meant for you to think I didn’t want you around. Ever. I thought I explained that in the letters.”

She eyed me suspiciously. “What letters?”

“What do you mean, ‘what letters’?” I asked, perking up. “The letters I left on you and Casey’s dressers the night I left.”

“What letters?” Codey said again.

“Dammit, Momma,” I said. “I should have known. I thought you two would get the letters before she woke up. Is that why you never called me? Or wrote me back that first year?” I asked her.

“We never called because we were mad. Well, I was mad, and I told Casey she was, too. She’s pretty agreeable.” Codey said. “But there was nothing to write back to. We never heard from you. That was why we never called you.”

" I always just figured you were too busy hating me to pick up the phone and call."

        "I never hated you, Charley. Don't be ridiculous."

        "Codey, you didn't talk to me for three years."

        "That doesn't mean I hated you. I just wasn't done being mad yet."

I laughed. Mostly from relief.               “I wrote you every week that first year,” I told her. “I worked my ass off in the campus bookstore to save up to buy you presents for birthdays and Christmas. I practically lived at the post office. You never got any of it?”

“No,” she said, looking puzzled. Codey gave my hand a squeeze. “That’s good to know, though,” she said, giving me a slight smile. “But, now it’s just sad because it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still so far away.”

“That’s the other reason I’m here,” I said, pulling one hand free to wipe my eyes dry with my napkin.

Codey’s eyebrows rose. “What? You’re moving back?”

“Well,” I said, “not exactly. A smiled formed on my sister’s face as I explained. It was the first full and real smile she had directed at me in years, and it made my heart happy.

***

As we drove toward Casey’s school, the atmosphere in the car was almost happy. There was a definite fear of the unknown, but I think both of us at least felt better about where we stood with one another. When we pulled up in the back parking lot of the high school, I was tempted to just get out and start running around the buildings looking for Casey. I couldn’t wait to have both of my sisters back on my team. Codey was the one who talked me into waiting in the car and surprising her. Within a few minutes, I saw my baby sister’s short frame, (Codey was the only one of us with any height to her), sort of scurrying down the hallway. She had an enormous grin on her face and she looked right at me once she was within eyeshot of the car.

“Does she know it’s me she’s smiling at?” I asked Codey.

“I might have texted her a short explanation while you were in the bathroom,” Codey said smiling. I got out of the car and stood next to it, waiting for Casey to cross the distance between us, hoping the smile would stay on her face once she did. Codey came and stood next to me, and instead of keeping her current pace, Casey hit a full run with her little legs moving faster than I thought was possible. She crashed into both of us, her arms wide: engulfing both of us in a tight hug. We each wrapped our arms around her, too, and pretty soon we were three squealing morons, getting strange looks from people in the parking lot.

When we finally separated, I looked at Casey. “So, we’re OK?” I asked her, “Just like that? We’re OK? Because I had a whole apology ready—” I began.

“Save it,” she said, her smile wide. “I’m just so happy to have my sisters back!”

Codey and I exchanged a look, “About that,” Codey said. “We need to talk before we get home.”

Casey hated the idea at first. She cried, she pouted, she yelled. She pulled out all of the little sister tricks, but after having some time to think about it, she decided it was probably the best thing.

“I don’t know if I can make it three months all alone,” she said sadly.

“You won’t be alone,” Codey assured her.

“We will be a phone call away. There’s video chats, and Spring Break,” I added. “You can come out for Spring Break.”

Casey smiled slightly. “You swear that you will be here for graduation?”

“Yes!” Codey and I said in unison.

“And I know it’s a little late to apply to CSU, but it’s not
too
late. You’re really smart, Casey. I know you’ll get in.”

“I might have already applied,” she said sheepishly.

Codey looked at her with mock severity. “You were going to ditch me?”

“Yeah, right,” Casey said. “You would have come.”

“Probably,” Codey shrugged.

“Okay,” I said, “So, this is something you both want? I don’t want to make you go somewhere you don’t want to go. I love Colorado, but if we need to figure something else out, we can.”

“Yeah, right!” Casey said again, this time more animated. “And leave Brennan all alone? And what about Sara?  No way. We are going to Colorado. They’d better just get ready for the three Vaughan sisters.”

My face fell at the mention of Brennan.

“What’s wrong?” Codey asked.

“I messed things up with Brennan,” I told them both. “I don’t think he is really a factor anymore. He pretty much blew me off before I left.”

“What?” they both said. I spent the next hour walking my sisters through every detail of what had happened with Matt, the accident, and Brennan. They were a more than captive audience, and it was good to have their supportive “ohhs” and cries of sympathy during the tough parts.

When I had finished explaining, Casey, our little optimist was the first to speak. “I don’t think it means it’s over,” she said simply. “Maybe he meant what he said.”

I laughed. “Right, how often does a guy do that?” Codey laughed, too.

“True enough,” Casey said, “but how often does a guy go to the lengths that Brennan went to for a total stranger? And expect nothing in return?”

That shut me up as I thought about it. “I don’t know,” I said. “The whole thing was just humiliating. I felt like he was breaking up with me because I was too messed up.”

“Don’t think of it like a break up,” Casey said, “I know I’m not the best person to give guy advice, but just, try taking him at his word, and then moving forward from there. Don’t assume the worst of him, Chuck. He seems genuine.”

I ignored the nickname and focused on what she had said about Brennan. ‘Could she be right?’ I wondered. I pushed it aside for the time being, we had bigger fish to fry, and one of those fish would be home any minute. Codey finally pulled the car out of the high school’s parking lot, and aimed us in the direction of the Vaughan household. The afternoon had been wonderful. It was great to reunite with my sisters. Sadly, we all knew that things were about to get very ugly.

CHAPTER 16 – SARA

“I don’t know anything else, Brennan,” I told him for the third time. All I know is what the text said. I got the same message you did.

“Just so you both know, I’m safe. I’ll be back in a couple of days.” Is what the screens on both of our phones had said. We were sitting across the room from one another in Brennan and Adam’s living room. I’d just gotten in from work, and Brennan had been on his way out the door when our phones had simultaneously alerted us to our individual text messages.

“Well, what should we do?” Brennan asked anxiously.

“Reply, I guess. I’ll ask her where she is, and you ask her what she’s doing.” Brennan nodded and we both started typing away. Less than a minute later, we both had responses.

To Brennan’s question she said, “I’m waking up.” And to me, “The only place I could go to get closure.”

“What does she mean, ‘waking up’?” I asked Brennan after reading his screen.

He looked hurt. “ I think it was a dig at me,” he said sadly. “It was something I said to her when we fought. I told her to wake up. I guess I had that coming.” I wasn’t so sure it
was
  a dig at him.

“That doesn’t seem like her style,” I told him.

“I guess we’ll see when she gets back,” he said. “Either way, I’m glad she’s OK, and glad she’s coming back.” Brennan got up and headed for the door. “I’ll see you guys later tonight,” he said as he reached the front door. “And, Adam,” he added, “If I trip over your bike coming in, I’m going to throw it out the window.”

Adam looked at me and gave me a wink and a smile. He was adorable. Taller than Brennan, same dark hair, but he kept his a little longer, and hazel eyes. He also had a similar smile to his brother’s: big and bright. Usually, I could stare at that smile for days. Not even that beautiful smile could distract me right now though.