Waiting for You (35 page)

“You imagined it?” I whispered into his shoulder.

He pulled back to look at my face. “I’ve imagined it for a lot longer
than I should have, when I had no business imagining.” He was quiet for a
moment while the weight of his words settled over me. I don’t think I would
have known what to do with Dylan before this point in my life. Even if Eric
hadn’t been a factor, I would’ve talked myself out of it completely, too scared
of what other people would say and think. As it was, I know I haven’t handled
the situation as well as I could have. Or more importantly,
should
have.
We were both constantly testing each other in ways we weren’t exactly trying to
do.

He took a breath and continued, “I wanted to make it special. You know?
Like candles and music and stuff.
Something.
Anything.
I just wanted to make the first time that we were
together special for you. More than―”

“Dylan, stop.” I moved my head back to make sure he could see the truth
in my expression and words. “It wasn’t exactly the way I imagined either but it
was us.”

Slowly, I was learning that a lot of times, the best things in life
didn’t rely on being planned. There was no explaining or rationalizing emotion
when you were in love. It was feeling, believing, remembering, and making
moments. My life had always been planned out for me, and those plans were all I
ever knew, all I relied on to get by. But this entire relationship with Dylan
was been unexpected. It made sense that saying this would follow that path. And
maybe that’s what made this so perfect, knowing that this was what I really
wanted, without outside influence or expectations. It was completely unstable,
dangerous love that could destroy you but it was Dylan. That’s the only way he
knew how to love.

“I love you,” I said again, this time with purpose, a statement with no
expectation of return.

Dylan smiled tucking me into his arms. “I love you too brown eyes.”

We eventually fell asleep, wrapped
around each other in our dangerous love. When I woke up, he was staring at the
ceiling. He looked conflicted and I wondered what about last night he
regretted. I knew the parts that I did.

There were so many
things I wanted to say, to ask, to feel, but I asked none of them and stayed
wrapped in his arms.

He must have sensed I
was awake. “I’m sorry,” he said regretfully kissing my temple.

Burying myself in his
arms, I let him show me in kisses and touches how sorry he was, how sorry I was
and our dangerous love.

Dylan’s phone next to
the bed was ringing, again, always ringing. He ignored it but eventually took
the battery out.

“You seem distracted.”
It was an observation and he knew it. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer right
away as he stared at the wall. Squinting, he bit down on the corner of his
bottom lip, contemplating, withholding.
“Nothing, brown
eyes.”

I wanted to stop time,
stop thinking, be here with him and make these crazy memories he dreamed of but
I couldn’t. Something was up with him and I knew it. It was more than
nothing,
it was in the constantly ringing phone, the hidden
stares he offered and the way he reacted to the name that appeared on his phone
every day.

19.
   
Desire – Dylan Wade

I’m a stupid
fucking kid with too much desire.

She had no fucking
clue how much I loved her. No clue. She has no understanding of how badly I
wanted to do right by her, only her. She was my fucking pulse, my desire, my
heartbeat and nervousness.

Desire can be the
death of a man.

My back curved
holding her to me pressing my face into the space between her neck and
shoulder. My hold was tight, always tight fearing she would let go, there was
no space between us.

Only
us.

One
on the inside and out.
It was us.

“Do you love me?” I
asked, lifting her leg. I fell, between her legs, right where I needed to be.

Reaching below the
sheets, I positioned myself where I needed
to be, inside her,
loving
her, feeling her.

Resting against my
chest now, she talked about our past, what led us here now, only she didn’t
know the half of it.

“Do you remember
what I said to you when your mom died?” she asked, her cold toes finding my
legs, her breath soft against my neck.

I remembered
everything this girl said.
Everything.

“You told me that
you would always be there for me.”

It was a lie, she
knew. She wasn’t there for me but I forgave her. Lies were told to her.
Dishonest fucking hateful people who destroyed our relationship and
wanted to now.

“You smelled like
grass and trouble,” brown eyes laughed, the sound was the best in the world

“I was trouble,” I
smiled kissing her nose. “I am trouble. You really shouldn’t have come with
me.”

She said nothing
more. The more I warned her the more I thought the warning was sinking in. I
didn’t want to be the one to tell her. It wasn’t my place.

If
only things had gone differently when we were younger.

I remember her
sneaking out and sleeping on my bedroom floor for weeks after my mom died. I
remember feeling relaxed that she was there, with me. Out of the corner of my
eye, I watched her all night. I loved her there. I loved her with me. I loved
that she wanted to be there.

Knowing I had her
now, I lived for my moment before it was gone.

I felt another huge
wave of relief crash over me as I kissed her passionately. She wrapped her legs
around my waist and I picked her up moving her to straddle me.

She had on a black
lace bra, that offset her pale skin beautifully and my lips were drawn to her
skin like a magnet. She dipped her head back as I buried my face between her
breasts, reaching around to unclasp her bra, letting it fall gently off her
shoulders.

I sat on the bed,
she had no idea how seductive she could be as she shimmied herself out of her
jeans, her hips wiggling with each exaggerated move.

Running my hands up
the back of her thighs, coming to rest on her ass, she smiled at me, sweet
chocolate.

I couldn’t
fucking
deny it now. I had an ownership, a possessiveness
that I’ve always had with her. Didn’t matter where we were or what we were
doing. It didn’t matter in school if she was with someone else, I felt and I
knew goddamn well that she felt it too. If anyone said something bad about her,
I was the first to stand up and the last to stop fighting for her.

“Is this what you
want?” I asked as she smiled kissing me, and then hitched her leg around my
hip.

“Yes,” she hummed.
I reached down and grabbed her leg behind her knee for support, then pressed my
hips into her.

She felt incredible
against my body and each moan she made caused my dick to get harder and harder
until I was throbbing with need for her. Her hands became frantic, needing,
pleading with desire that I felt deep in my bones.
My breath,
my movements, all controlled by that fucking desire.
Desire can be a
fucking nightmare. It can make you forget consequences and lie to the one
person you loved and swore to never hurt like they could.

I slid my hands
around her waist and let them slide lower to rest on her ass, once again
pressing my hips into her.

She threw her head
back against the mattress. “God, Dylan, you feel so good.”

I couldn’t wait to
be inside of her. She had other plans though.

I couldn’t help the
moan that escaped as I watched her lick and kiss me down to my hip and over the
top of my boxers that barely contained my erection, ending on my left hip where
she finished with a nip of her teeth.

Watching me with a
knowing look on her face, she reached out, gripped the base of my erection, and
slowly moved her mouth closer. Her tongue slipped out and licked the tip,
causing me to jump. I watched as her lips parted and she slid the tip into her
mouth, her tongue sliding off the tip down the shaft.

My hands rested on
her shoulders, lightly holding the hair away from her face so I could watch
her. It was the sexiest fucking thing I’d ever seen, watching her take me into
her mouth. My body was on fire from her touch. Each time she would take me in
deeper. I groaned loudly knowing that I could easily come and I didn’t want it
to be over yet.

“Brown eyes…fuck…you
gotta
stop…” I was getting close and my self-control
was waning under her touch. I wanted to be inside her.

She pulled back,
looking up at me with her sexy brown eyes and I couldn’t stop myself. I had to
be inside her. Using a little more force than I would have liked, I pressed her
back down onto the bed and hovered over her, leaning in to kiss her
passionately.

“I fucking need you
so much,” I said softly as I positioned myself at her entrance. I was crazy
with desire, knowing that nothing would be between us. I could feel her heat
luring me in, desire, the fucking monster it was. Her slickness made it so that
even the slightest movement on my part would cause me to slide into her.

I pressed forward,
relishing the feel as I filled her completely. I stilled for a moment to regain
composure, the feeling of being skin to skin with her almost too much for me.
My eyes closed as I fought off the orgasm that was bubbling under the surface.
I didn’t want to spill my shit before she got what she needed.

“Please…Dylan…
fuck
me…” Bailey writhed beneath me and I almost couldn’t
believe what she had said. It was erotic as hell to hear those words out of her
beautiful innocent mouth.

I wrapped one hand
around her body, letting it slide to her ass, and rested the other on the bed
by her head. Catching on to what I wanted, she wrapped her legs around me as I
pulled her hips against my body, the new angle changing the sensation for both
of us.

“You want to be
fucked, brown eyes?” I said, feeling gritty and raw.

She bit her lip and
moaned as she
nodded,
completely unraveling any
control I had left. I pulled out of her body and vigorously thrust back into
her, using my hand to pull her body to mine. She used her legs to keep me where
she wanted me.

I continued to pound
into her, each pass causing her body to arch and tighten, reaching for the
friction that would allow her release. I loved that it was my body that caused
this reaction in her. I loved that she could feel all of me, with nothing in
between us.

I felt like I could
fucking explode at any moment, but I desperately wanted to give her an orgasm.
This needed to be different from the first time, this wasn’t anger. This was
love. Fucking blinding soul type shit. I sat up and grabbed her legs from
behind my body, spreading them wide, continuing to move in and out of her
Flushed with color, the way her muscles tightened, I knew.

“Bailey…I’m so
close…fuck…so good…”

Before I could get a
full sentence out, she screamed out in ecstasy. I couldn’t stop myself,
grunting loudly, completely overpowered by the sensations.

“Oh God…Dylan…that
was…fuck…” She ran her hands through her hair as she panted heavily, her skin
perfectly flushed.

I kissed her lips
with that same fucking desire that consumed me. “That should have been our
first time,” I smiled. It was weak.

My phone was
ringing again.

Bailey slipped to
the bathroom, I answered the phone. No hello, no nothing, he just laid into me
like he had for the last fucking seven weeks. “You bring my daughter home right
now Dylan or you will regret it.”

I laughed. The
vicious edge to my hatred was spit through my words. “She’s free to go when she
wants but you don’t see her crawling back to daddy, do you?”

“She has no
business being with your delinquent ass. Bring her home now or I will destroy
you.”

Jeff wanted a rise
out of me and I was the fucking kid he wanted me to be right then. He knew what
to do to ignite me. He’d been doing it for years. “You’re just upset ‘
cause
you don’t want the town to know she’s screaming a Wade
brothers name every night.”

Bailey came back
into the room, my flannel loosely buttoned, her skin peeking out, haunting me.
I dropped the phone when she came back and took the battery out.

I wanted to tell
her that all this, my language, my hatred, my
aggression,
my tone of voice was because of her.

“Do you love me?”
she asked, so sweet, so innocent, sweet chocolate and ginger freckles that
danced through me and my moments.

“I’ve never loved
anyone like this,” I said kissing the inside of her thigh when she came to the
edge of the bed, my hands shaking with the threat of losing all this should he
come here and tell her. Every inch of me was wrapped around every inch of her.
There was love here. We felt it. It radiated from every inch of her to every
inch of me. Would it destroy what we have?