Waiting For Rachel: A Christian Romance (Those Karlsson Boys) (13 page)

Damian reached out and rubbed his fingers over her clasped hands. “She’ll be okay, Rache. Want me to pray?”

Rachel nodded, loosening her grip on her knees so she could take his hand. She bent her head and after a moment, Damian also bowed his head and closed his eyes.

“Father, we come to today asking for healing for Mari. We don’t know the extent of her injuries but You do. You know what needs to be healed in her body. Please give the doctors wisdom as they work on her. You are the great Physician, Father, heal Rachel’s daughter. They’re just at the beginning of their relationship; they have so much to learn about each other. We pray they have many, many more years together.

“We know that in spite of the fact that everything seems out of control at the moment, You are still in control, Lord. We pray for Your will to be done in Mari’s life. We know she is Your child, Lord, spare her life. Amen.”

Rachel looked up and smiled, a weak smile but a smile nonetheless. “Thank you.”

“Miss Perkins.”

Damian and Rachel both looked toward the door leading to the operating rooms. A nurse in scrubs stood there. Rachel scrambled to her feet and hurried towards her.

“How is she?”

Damian went to stand behind her, searching the nurse’s face for some sign of the news she had for Rachel.

“Dr. Abra asked me to come and let you know how the surgery is going.”

“And?” Damian prompted, annoyed the woman was taking so long to spill the information when Rachel was clearly dying for news.

“So far she’s stable. She’s lost a lot of blood, but we’ve been replacing it. The surgery is most likely going to last another few hours. I will continue to come and give updates as often as Dr. Abra asks.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said, reaching out to squeeze the nurse’s hand.

The nurse nodded before she disappeared through the swinging doors.

Damian placed his hands on Rachel’s shoulders, and they both just stared at the doors. Finally Rachel turned and leaned her forehead against his chest. Damian continued to keep his hands on her shoulders, gently kneading the tension from them.

Long minutes passed before Rachel lifted her head and stepped back. “Thank you. Again.”

“Don’t keep thanking me, Rachel. I’m glad to be here for you.”

“After what happened…” Rachel paused and glanced away. “I didn’t think you’d want anything more to do with me.”

“You were wrong. I can’t just shut off my emotions, Rachel. I’m not forcing the issue any more, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still
love you. But all you have to do is say the word, and I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want.”

Rachel quickly shook her head. “I hate taking advantage of you, but I need someone with me.”

“And I’m glad to be that someone. Lean on me, Rachel, and don’t think about our past or what the future holds. We’ll deal with that later. Right now we’ll focus on Mari and getting her better.”

Damian could see the hesitation in her eyes. He wished he could make it clear to her how much he wanted to help her. To be with her during this difficult time. He didn’t need promises for the future, although that would be nice, all he wanted was to be there for her.

“Okay.” Rachel crossed her arms, sliding her hands up and down her upper arms as if she were cold. “I just don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”

“Don’t even think about that. You need a friend, I’m a friend.”

“Thanks,” Rachel said and gave him a soft smile.

“Let’s sit back down. I think we’re going to be here for a while.”

Rachel took up her position once again near the window, sitting sideways, her legs bent. She crossed her arms over her knees and laid her head on them, staring out the window.

Damian closed his eyes and prayed. He couldn’t imagine what Rachel was going through, what emotions she was keeping buried deep within her. He knew that the prospect of losing a child not just once, but twice in her life must be overwhelming.

They sat in silence for a while longer before Damian shifted and leaned toward her.

“Rachel? I’m going to just go downstairs for a few minutes. Okay?”

Rachel lifted her head and nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“See you in a bit.” Damian headed for the elevator. As he waited for a car to arrive, he looked back and saw that Rachel had resumed her position, curled tightly in on herself. She looked so small and fragile, like she would shatter, but Damian knew she was strong inside. She’d survived a lot of heartbreak in her life. He just hoped this wasn’t one more.

Twenty minutes later Damian stepped back onto the sixth floor. Rachel didn’t look like she’d moved a muscle since he’d been gone. He wondered if she’d fallen asleep.

Quietly he approached her and sat down. Her head immediately lifted.

“How’s Jace?” she asked.

Damian hesitated, hating the thought of telling her that his brother was going to be fine. He knew it would seem so unfair to Rachel that Jace, the one driving the truck, walked away with barely a scratch, and yet Mari’s condition was so precarious.

“He’s going to have some bruises, but otherwise he’s going to be fine.”

“Good,” Rachel said, a small smile lifted one corner of her mouth. “I don’t want to have to be worried about both of them.”

Damian marveled again at Rachel’s generous, caring spirit.

She propped her chin on her arms and looked at him. Damian shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what was going through her mind.

“You want to ask, don’t you?” Rachel said.

Damian thought about pretending ignorance but knew it would be the same as lying. She was right, he did want to ask. “You mean about the circumstances surrounding Mari’s birth?”

Rachel nodded.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested. I am curious about what happened seventeen years ago.” Damian paused before asking, “Will you tell me about it?”

Chapter Thirteen

Rachel stared at Damian’s familiar features. She was so very grateful he was by her side during this time. If only it could be more. She wanted to go into his arms, lay her head on his chest and draw strength from him.

And now he wanted to know about that horrible time in her past. How much should she tell him? Mari had deserved to know everything, and still Rachel had held back, hiding the punishment the Lord had meted out upon her for her sin.

In the end, Rachel told Damian basically the same story she’d told Mari. She didn’t look at him as she spoke, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes.

“You were young. We all make mistakes,” Damian stated bluntly when she finished.

Oh, she had been young all right. Rachel hadn’t told Mari, and she wasn’t going to tell Damian, that she’d gotten involved with Mari’s dad knowing full well what she was doing was wrong. She’d just been so desperate for someone…anyone…to love her that she’d willingly gone against everything she’d been taught, and she became physically involved with her boyfriend.

It had been willful disobedience on her part, fueled by an overwhelming desire to know that someone loved her. It wasn’t until too late that she realized Mari’s father didn’t love her, had never loved her and never would. It had been yet another cruel blow to her already bruised heart.

“Did Mari ask about her father?”

“Not directly, but I told her just what I’ve told you. She had a right to know.”

“Is she going to try and find him?”

The thought had never crossed Rachel’s mind. Would Mari want to meet him? Rachel hoped not. She didn’t want to have to deal with him again. And she hated to think of Mari being disappointed if he wasn’t everything she hoped he would be. Rachel knew all too well the pain of having a father who did not meet her expectations.  She didn’t want Mari to have to go through that too.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see what she wants.” Rachel knew if the price to pay for Mari getting better was that she would search for her father, she would accept that. Anything to keep her daughter in her life. Mari was her only child, the only one she’d ever have.

Rachel looked at Damian. He had stretched his legs out. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and his chin rested against his chest.

Without looking at her, Damian asked, “Is this the reason you won’t consider a relationship with me? Because you got pregnant as a teenager?” He turned and their gazes met, his blue eyes piercing and direct. “Because if it is, it doesn’t matter. We’ve all made mistakes, but God forgives us and lets us move on with our lives. If He can do that, who am I to hold your past against you.”

Rachel had known that would be his response. That was why she’d never told him, because she would have to tell him everything. In telling him only this part, he would see no reason for them not to be together.

Not able to hold his gaze, Rachel looked away. Maybe she should just tell him everything. Get it out in the open and let him decide. Only would he make the right decision? After pursuing her for so long would he be quick to say it was not an issue, only to have it raise its ugly head again, a year or so down the road? Rachel knew how important it was to him, even if he might deny it right at that moment.

Thankfully Rachel was saved from having to make an immediate decision. The doors to the elevator opened and Sharon stepped out. Mike followed her pushing Jace in a wheelchair.

Damian got to his feet as they approached.

“Jace, what are you doing here?”

“I need to know how Mari is.”

“I was just down there and told Mom and Dad she was still in surgery.”

“We told him, Damian,” Mike said with a shake of his head. “He started getting agitated again and demanded he be brought up here.”

“How are you, Jace?” Rachel touched his arm.

Jace looked up at her, but quickly dropped his gaze. “I’m okay. How’s Mari?”

“We’re hoping for another report soon. It’s been about an hour since they last gave us one.”

“C’mon, let’s sit down.” Damian gestured to the chairs. “I need to call Serena and get her to put Mari on the prayer chain.”

Rachel nodded. “That would be great, Damian. Thank you.”

Sharon fussed over Jace, making sure he was comfortable before taking a seat beside him.

She gave Rachel a concerned look. “How are you doing, dear?”

“As well as can be expected.”

“Jace mentioned that Mari’s your…daughter?”

Jace glanced at her. “Sorry, Rachel,” he mumbled.

“That’s okay, Jace. I don’t plan to deny the relationship between us.” Rachel looked at the woman who might have been her mother-in-law, if things had been different. “Yes, Mari is my daughter. I had her when I was fifteen and gave her up for adoption. She’s had a great family, but after her parents were killed she decided to come to me.”

There was a look in Sharon’s eyes that Rachel couldn’t quite place. She wondered if it was relief that her son had escaped a fallen woman’s clutches. Rachel probably wasn’t good enough for her son any more.

Rachel looked away.

Then she felt a touch on her hand. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I’m sure that must have been very difficult for you.”

Rachel looked at the older woman and saw only compassion in her gaze. “Yes, it was. I’m scared of losing her again, now that I’ve just found her.”

Sharon moved to sit next to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, drawing Rachel close. “We’ve been praying and will continue to pray for complete healing for Mari. God’s still in control.”

Rachel let herself relax in Sharon’s motherly embrace. It had been so long since she’d been held in that way. Her mother’s fight with cancer had taken away a lot of their closeness even before death had finally ended their earthly relationship.

Tears began to flow again. Sharon held her close until the wave of emotion passed and the tears stopped. Rachel moved out of her embrace and looked up.

Damian had returned and was now standing next to Jace, and all three men were watching her. She rubbed her hands over her cheeks wiping away the last of the tears.

“You okay, Rachel?” Damian asked.

“Yeah, just had to have another little cry.” Rachel glanced at the white doors. “I need to hear something about Mari. I need to know that she’s still doing okay.”

“Let me see if I can find a nurse.” Damian left them again.

He’d barely been gone a minute when the door opened and the same nurse as before came out. Rachel bolted from her seat and over to where the nurse stood.

“How is she?”

“She’s still holding her own, although things were touch and go for a while.”

Rachel’s heart pounded painfully in her chest. “How much longer?”

“The doctor said another hour and it should be over. He’ll come talk to you then.”

“Thank you.” Rachel hugged herself as she watched the nurse walk away.

She felt someone rub her arm and looked up to see Damian standing beside her. “They said she’s doing okay.”

“That’s great news.” Damian led her back to the chairs. “I called Serena, and she said she would put the request on the prayer chain immediately. Heaven’s gates are going to be flooded with prayers on Mari’s behalf. Serena said she’s going to come by a little later.”

“That will be great. It’s so hard to believe that just yesterday we were eating Christmas dinner together.” Rachel looked over at the small, somewhat bedraggled-looking Christmas tree sitting in the corner of the waiting room. “I haven’t told Serena about Mari being my daughter.”

“I didn’t mention it,” Damian assured her. “You can tell her yourself when she gets here.”

Wondering how Jace had taken the news on Mari, Rachel glanced over at him. He sat slouched in the wheelchair, his chin pressed to his chest. Bruising was more evident on his face now; his left eye was almost swollen shut. How Rachel wished that were all Mari had to deal with.

“I think we’d better get Jace back to his room,” Mike said, getting to his feet.

“Are they keeping him in?” Rachel asked.

“Just overnight for observation. He should be able to go home tomorrow.”

“I’m going to stay with Rachel until Mari’s out of surgery,” Damian told his parents.

“That’s good,” Sharon said. “We’ll be praying that all goes well.”

Jace didn’t protest as they pushed the wheelchair to the elevator. Damian walked with them.

When he joined her again Rachel said, “You don’t have to stay. I’m sure you have other things to do.”

Damian leaned back in his chair, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “As a matter of fact, I don’t. I’d like to at least wait until Mari’s out of surgery. And you shouldn’t be alone right now.”

They lapsed into silence again. Rachel was glad Damian didn’t pick up their conversation from earlier. Right then she just wanted to focus on Mari and her recovery. She leaned back against her seat and closed her eyes to pray.

At some point she must have dozed off because once minute she was praying for Mari and the next Damian was shaking her.

“Rachel?”

Shocked she’d dozed off, Rachel straightened, rubbing her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“I’m glad you did. Obviously your body needed the rest, and I think it was good because time passed more quickly for you. Mari’s in recovery. The doctor will be out in a minute to talk to you.”

“Thank you, Lord,” Rachel whispered as she ran her hands over her hair to make sure it was smooth. “Please let the doctor have good news.”

Rachel couldn’t stay seated. She got up and began to pace. Damian remained in his seat, pulling his legs in so she had room to walk.

When a man dressed in surgical scrubs came through the door Rachel immediately moved in his direction.

“Miss Perkins?”

Rachel nodded. “How is Mari?”

“At the moment she’s stable. She had a few rough spots during surgery, but she pulled through. The next twenty-four hours will be the most crucial.”

“What all was wrong with her?”

“She has a fractured leg which we set and cast. Her right arm was also broken. The glass from the window sliced her face in several areas. She had a lot of lacerations, some minor, some more serious. It may be that she’ll require plastic surgery again at some point, although the surgeon doing the stitching tried to do it in such a way to minimize scarring.

“Our biggest concerns are the amount of blood she lost and some slight swelling in her brain. We are keeping an eye on it and hoping it will go down. She had some internal bleeding and we removed her spleen.

“We’re going to keep her in recovery for a couple of hours and then will move her to her room in the ICU. She’s a very lucky girl, and as long as she keeps fighting I think she’ll make it without any serious complications. But like I said, the next twenty-four hours are the most crucial in her recovery.”

“Can I see her?” Rachel asked, her hands clenched so tightly her nails bit into her palms. “I really need to see her.”

The doctor hesitated, but he obviously saw desperation in her eyes. “Just for a few minutes. Is this Mari’s father?” He motioned to Damian.

Rachel shook her head. “No, he’s a friend.”

“Then just you will be allowed to see her, and only for a few minutes.”

Damian reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

Rachel smiled weakly at him before following the doctor.

There was a flurry of activity beyond the doors that hadn’t been apparent in the waiting room. As each step brought her closer to Mari, excitement warred with dread in Rachel’s stomach.

The doctor paused outside a curtained off area. “I will warn you she is hooked up to several monitors and her face is very bruised and swollen. Don’t let it scare you though. You can talk to her and hold her hand, especially her left one which was not injured at all in the accident. Her right side took the brunt of the impact.”

Rachel nodded and took a deep breath before following the doctor past the curtains. Even with the doctor’s warning, the sight of Mari lying there covered in bandages, her beautiful slender face bruised beyond recognition, was almost more than Rachel could handle.

“I’ll leave you for a few minutes,” the doctor said, compassion in his eyes.

“Thank you,” Rachel whispered through trembling lips.

Once alone she turned to Mari, moving to her left side so she could pick up her uninjured hand.

“Oh Mari, I’m so sorry this happened to you.” Rachel pressed her lips to Mari’s hand. “We’re praying God will heal you, but you need to be strong and fight, too. I know you probably want to see your parents, and maybe it’s selfish of me to ask God to keep you here, but I’ve just found you. I want a chance to get to know you. I want a chance to be a mom.

“You are the only child I’ll ever have. The only one who will truly be a part of me. God took away my chance to have any other children; I don’t want Him to take you away, too. Not yet.”

Rachel bent her head, tears spilling onto Mari’s hand. “God, please, let me have my daughter with me a little while longer. Let me get to know, and have a chance to love the only child I’ll ever have. Please, God!”