Waiting for Patrick (37 page)

“How many people does it take to get me safely home, anyway,” Elliot snarked, glaring at Sheri as she stepped inside the doorway.

“Apparently three,” Sheri answered back, giving him a no-nonsense stare. “Since that’s how many there are.”

“It doesn’t take that many people, Cher. I’m here now.” He tried to shoo her back out the door before Malcolm and Daniel squeezed in. Too late. “I’m home. I’m safe. I’m fine. You all can go now.”

She glared at him and started toward the living room. “We’re going nowhere, Elliot.”

Daniel shuddered exaggeratedly. “Oh no, the whole first name. I’d quit while I was ahead.” He followed Sheri, and Malcolm sauntered away right behind him. They looked like a line of ducklings following a particularly smug mother duck.

Elliot had no choice but to join them in the living room, but he refused to step in line with the other ducklings. He purposely stepped two feet to the right before starting out. It was the principle of the thing.

They all found seats once in the room. Malcolm and Sheri on the couch, Daniel in the chair; they’d left the recliner for Elliot. “Seriously, Cher.” Elliot collapsed into the chair, feeling more exhausted than he’d realized. “I’m just going to go to sleep. I may not even make it upstairs first. This actually feels pretty comfy right here.”

“We’ll just quietly watch a movie or something.” Sheri scooted toward the edge of the couch, no doubt getting ready to choose one of the DVDs she’d left here on their long-ago movie night.

Elliot rolled his head to look at Malcolm. “Could you please talk some sense into her and take her home?”

Malcolm pulled himself back against the sofa and threw his hands in the air. “Don’t look at me. I’m just the chauffeur. I’m not getting in the middle of this.”

Daniel sniggered. “He doesn’t want to risk his steady supply of poontang.”

Malcolm glowered at Daniel, then pointed. “I don’t see you standing up to her either.”

Sheri, for her part, seemed to enjoy the respectful fear. “If you had the sense God gave a muskrat, I wouldn’t have to make sure you got here safely,” she told Elliot. “And more importantly,
stayed
here.”

“Ben will make sure I stay,” Elliot told her, then looked around the room and slightly toward the ceiling. “Won’t you, Ben?” He hadn’t realized until then that his laptop was still packed up and sitting in the pile of bags by the door.

Daniel seemed to know the moment Elliot thought about it, and was out of the chair and headed toward the foyer. “I’ll go get it.” He had already taken it out of the bag and was powering it up as he approached Elliot. He laid the open computer on Elliot’s lap and plopped down in his chair again.

“Ben? I’m home.” Nothing. The keyboard was completely still. “Come on, Ben. Help me out. Throw some furniture at these guys. Make them leave.”

When there was no indication that Ben was around, Elliot turned toward the other three with a confused expression.

“Maybe he’s waiting to be alone with you, Elliot,” Malcolm suggested. “It’s been a while. He probably doesn’t want an audience.”

Daniel added in a singsong voice, “He probably wants to make all sorts of hearts and kissy-face emojis.”

Elliot grinned and looked at the keyboard, half expecting one of those things to pop up on the screen.

Nothing.

“You’re always trying to get him to cross over,” Sheri offered, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. “Maybe he finally did.”

Elliot felt a rush of instant panic. “No. Not now.” He looked around. “Not now, Ben.” He shook the laptop as if he could will the keys to move. “You have to be here.”

A book flew off the bookshelf on the opposite wall. “Oh thank God.” He looked at the floor where the book had landed. “Why didn’t you answer me sooner?”

“He was probably pissed that no one had come out here and told him what was going on with you,” Daniel proposed, and another book immediately sailed off the same table. “Is that you agreeing with me? One for yes, two for no?”

Two books rocketed in rapid succession toward Daniel’s face, but he dodged them easily.

“So,” Daniel said with a smile. “That’s a no, but you were using the code, so it’s really a yes. You’re agreeing with me.”

Elliot had to laugh. “That’s my Ben.”

One of the books that had landed near Daniel’s feet rose up and tapped Elliot on the top of the head. Everyone broke up laughing. Elliot was pretty sure Ben was chuckling too. He could sense it.

He looked at the air in front of him. “I have a lot to tell you, Ben. I’ve figured something out. A revelation of a lifetime. Of two lifetimes, even.” He sat the laptop on the chair-side table.

The laptop keys clattered almost immediately.

Really?

Elliot was so relieved to be talking to Ben again. He had missed him so much.

<3 :-) <3

When Elliot chuckled, Daniel looked over from where he sat in the chair. “Emojis?” Elliot turned the laptop around so Daniel could see it. “I told you he was waiting to give you hearts and emojis.”

A book rose from the floor, but Elliot caught it and chortled in reply. “Ah come on, Ben. You have to give that one to him. You did use hearts and emojis.”

LOL. Okay, no book to the face……………………this time.

Elliot doubled over with laughter. It felt so good to be home, so normal to be teasing with Ben and the rest of his friends. Sheri put on a movie, and Elliot slumped back in his chair and half listened to it, but he soon fell asleep.

“ELLIE,” SHERI
whispered while tapping his shoulder. “Let’s get you upstairs before we leave. Okay?”

He moved automatically, letting Daniel help him up the stairs, closely followed by Malcolm and Sheri. Daniel turned down the bed and guided Elliot to sit.

“Where are your pajamas, Elle?” Sheri’s voice came floating toward him from a distance. He didn’t answer; he rolled on his side and grabbed at the blanket, trying to cover himself. He was barely aware of someone taking off his shoes, lifting his legs onto the bed, and pulling the blanket up over his shoulder.

“Night, Ellie.”

HE’S SITTING
on the edge of the bed across from Ben, who reaches over and brushes Elliot’s hair out of his face.

“So tell me about what you discovered.” He’s grinning from ear to ear. “In these multiple lifetimes you were talking about.”

Elliot smiles back and leans into his touch. “You know very well what I discovered.” Elliot can’t help but tease him just a little. “I found Patrick’s journal, so now I know all about his life before he died, even though I couldn’t get him to answer me.” Ben’s expression falls so quickly and completely that Elliot can’t continue the ruse. “I’m teasing, Ben. I figured it out. I know now… I’m Patrick.”

Ben surges forward and envelops Elliot in the biggest hug, toppling them over sideways on the bed. “Oh thank God. I didn’t think you’d ever remember.”

They get comfortable on the bed, facing each other, and Elliot traces Ben’s cheek with a finger. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I couldn’t.” Ben runs his fingers through Elliot’s chestnut locks. “First of all, you wouldn’t have believed me. But there’re rules. I couldn’t tell you.”

“Rules?”

“Well, sort of.” Ben ruffles Elliot’s hair but immediately smooths it down and goes back to carding it. “It’s not like there’s a manual. But you had to remember on your own.”

“Why didn’t you want me to go to Pennsylvania, then? Surely you had to know I’d stand a better chance of remembering there.”

Ben gets a worried look on his face. “You stood a better chance of dying there too. You shouldn’t be completely alone like that.”

“Okay, okay.” Elliot scoots in close to Ben. “I’ve already been properly chastised.”

Shuffling closer still, Ben caresses Elliot’s cheek. “I know, and I don’t mean to fuss at you. It’s just… that’s in the rules too. You can’t get back here if you die somewhere else, and if you simply cross over, this whole thing will start all over again.”

“What do you mean?” Elliot tucks his head in Ben’s neck, and Ben rolls to his back, taking Elliot with him. “What whole thing?”

“There hasn’t only been Patrick and Elliot.” Ben strokes Elliot’s back as he lies half on, half off him. “There’s at least one, maybe two lives in between where you didn’t make it back here at all.”

Elliot can feel Ben’s shuddering breath as he whispers, “I don’t want to lose you again, Pat… Elli….” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Elliot runs his hand up and down Ben’s chest. “You can call me Patrick if you want.” He molds himself along the right side of Ben’s body, head on Ben’s shoulder, legs intertwined. “But how can you tell there have been more lives? Are you omniscient now or something?”

He taps the top of Elliot’s head as a chastisement. “No. Of course not.” Then he places a kiss on the exact same spot before continuing. “I don’t only see the outside anymore, though. I see souls. That’s how I knew you were Patrick from the moment you walked in the house. But each life leaves a… I don’t know, a mark, for lack of a better word. So I can tell there have been other lives besides simply Patrick and now this one. I can’t give details, but I can tell your soul has been around longer than just those two lifetimes.”

“Why don’t I remember the other lives too?” Elliot trails the backs of his fingers down Ben’s left side. He feels Ben’s shrug more than he sees it.

“I don’t know.” Ben goes back to petting Elliot’s hair, and Elliot loves the feel of Ben’s long, slender fingers running over his scalp. “Because you don’t have a reason to?” He pauses, seemingly thinking about something. “You didn’t find me during those lifetimes. So memories of those wouldn’t have helped you realize who you are. Well, who you are in reference to me, at least. I mean, you’re those people too, but….”

Elliot raises his head, takes in the beautiful sight of a flustered, tongue-tied Ben, and then kisses him silent.

They explore each other’s lips and mouths leisurely, as though mapping out the territory for the first time. There’s no heat behind it, not yet. They are simply enjoying each other. Elliot loves that in dreams he doesn’t need to breathe, so there is never a reason to stop kissing Ben. He can revel in the silky heat forever, taste him, duel with his tongue, nibble those beautiful, luscious lips.

Elliot has no idea how long they simply kiss, but eventually he slides his head back down into the crook of Ben’s neck and breathes the scent of him, savoring every breath that says “you’re home, you’re his.”

Elliot lays his head on Ben’s shoulder and simply lies there, caressing Ben’s chest again as if it’s the only thing in the world he has to accomplish. But it isn’t, is it? “So, what happens now?”

Ben rubs Elliot’s back and nuzzles his hair before he answers. “You live your life. I wait for you, as always.” He takes Elliot’s hand and envelops it in his own. “Then, millions of years from now, when it’s finally time for you to leave this body, we cross over together.”

Elliot looks up at Ben. “Will it just start over again, though? Will we be split up again and have to find each other in yet another life?”

Ben gives Elliot’s lips a quick peck. “I don’t think so. That’s one of the many reasons I’ve waited. I promised you, of course, but I always knew you’d understand if I couldn’t wait because I died.” He pulls Elliot tighter to him and holds him there as though he’d slip away if he let go. “But when I died, I suddenly knew that if I crossed over, I wouldn’t necessarily be with you. I immediately knew that unless you were already there, I’d probably just be born again somewhere and we wouldn’t be together. So I waited.”

This disturbs Elliot, but he doesn’t want to pull away to look at Ben. He burrows in even tighter. Dreams are amazing for doing the impossible. “So when I died on that battlefield, did I know I wouldn’t be with you? And I crossed over anyway? That doesn’t sound right. I don’t like that idea, Ben.”

Ben kisses Elliot’s hair and pulls the blankets over the two of them. “Of course not. I wasn’t there, obviously, and I can’t know for sure, but I imagine you thought I was already in the next plane. I
was
present when you left me in this very room. When you told me to wait for you. You were trying to give me a reason to fight, strength so I wouldn’t die. But you knew I was dying, Patrick.”

Elliot hugs him tightly. “Yeah, I guess I did.” He has tried to remember the moment of death, but it was no use. It simply wouldn’t come. “So, I what? Crossed over, hoping to meet you again on the other side, forgetting I told you to wait here?”

Ben tucks the covers in behind Elliot as far down as he can reach, and since it’s a dream, Elliot’s legs are tightly wrapped as well. He knows without looking that the blankets are tucked in around Ben’s other side too. The two of them, cocooned together, as Ben answers. “Probably not forgetting you told me to wait, but maybe not realizing I had a choice about it. Not realizing I could wait, even though I died.”

“Leave it to you to find a way.” Elliot looks up at him again, and there’s such love in Ben’s eyes that Elliot has to kiss him.

He means it as another quick kiss. They’re not finished with the conversation yet. There are a million more questions Elliot wants to ask, but Ben tastes so good, Elliot can’t get enough. Apparently Ben can’t either. His tongue instantly licks at Elliot’s lips, requesting entrance. He grants it easily, of course.

Elliot wriggles on top of him and continues the kiss, deepening it even more, and Ben groans. Ben’s noises got to Elliot from the first time they made love in his dreams, but now, with the memories from his life as Patrick too? Now they drive Elliot crazy. He can’t get enough.

Elliot pushes the front of their jeans together, and since this is a dream, they’re instantly naked. And erect.

Elliot breaks their kiss and looks deeply into Ben’s eyes.

“You were always insatiable,” Ben whispers breathlessly.

Elliot nips his lip, then kisses the same spot. “Like you ever objected.”

ELLIOT WOKE
up the next morning alone in his bed, but with the memories of the “dream” with Ben.