Vulnerable (9 page)

Ross was now taking deep breaths, and she could feel his heart beating harder and harder under her. Elise rolled up and off her hip, wincing as her buttocks took her weight. She looked into his face, and saw nothing there that would suggest censure or disgust, but rather, there was pure, raw fury now boiling like wisps of steam against the crystalline blue of his eyes. “Ross?”

“I find myself wanting to kill your ex-husband, Elise. And I think I know what happened to you next. Did he sexually abuse you?”

Elise felt a bark of bitter laughter escape her and shrugged. “It was a long time ago. Bodies heal.”

“I saw the scarring, Elise.”

“I had no idea anal sex could feel like it did until last night, Ross. I don’t regret a moment of it, and you must know that from my response. My ex didn’t give a shit about anything but his own pleasure in the end. If he was drinking or if his brothers and cousins were there, well, pretty much whatever they felt like doing got done. To me. Together, separately, it didn’t really matter to them. I was nothing to them, nothing to my husband. I would have given anything for a crumb of affection, trapped in that house, unable to go anywhere because of my own shame. After a while, it became my lot in life, and I lost the will to even think about it. I used whatever energy I had to heal between times and push it to the back of my head.”

Ross groaned and cuddled her close again, rubbing her arm, rubbing her back. “How did you get away?”

“My mom came by with a cake. It was my nineteenth birthday, and I hadn’t even thought about it. Terry certainly had no clue. I’d been with him a year and three months, and he didn’t even remember my birthday. It was a Sunday afternoon, and he and his “guys” were watching the game. I had made them some food and was making sure I served the drinks, trying to keep them mellow without tipping them off that I was trying to do so.

“His brother, Lloyd, followed me into the kitchen and was trying to bend me over the counter when my mom came in the back door. He couldn’t get himself back in his pants in time, and she figured it out right away. I guess it helped that I was her child, but he’d torn my shirt, too, so she believed I didn’t want him to do what he was doing. She went right back out the door and got my dad and one of my sister’s boyfriends who were waiting in the car. They faced the drunken fools down, and I walked right out with them. I didn’t stop for anything. I left everything behind, even my little dog. Terry took it to the pound, and I counted myself lucky that he didn’t shoot it. I kept thinking that if I’d had a baby, I would have been trapped, because I couldn’t have left a child.

“I had kept my whole family at bay for that year, making excuses, telling believable lies. My dad knew about the violence from my mom, because you can’t cover up facial bruising very well, but Terry got better at not marking me in visible places, so dad just said he hoped things would work out if we both tried. I look back now, and can’t believe I rolled over like that.”

“You were seventeen, Elise. And you came from a family who probably thought that once you’d chosen your bed, you had to lie on it.”

She shrugged. “Yup, that was the general idea, but it went deeper. I wanted to prove something to myself maybe. I don’t know. If Terry had been kinder, invested in me, known what was best, I wouldn’t have been difficult. But he gave me no reason to believe in him or trust him, other than the fact he paid the bills and put food on the table.”

“He was a fucking asshole.”

“Oh, Ross, I’m not defending him. I’m just sad that I lost nearly sixteen years of my life because of a choice I made. It was just over a year of hell and fourteen years of recovering. I’d probably still be in limbo if we hadn’t met. He and his family killed something in me, and I was grateful to have made my escape. Moving away, going back to school and getting a job has been my primary focus, until I met you. And when my mom panicked at my description of you, I joined her in that emotional reaction and ran like a scared rabbit. It was about me, not you.”

“You will never run from me again, Elise, are we clear? I will never abuse you, assault you, cheat on you or otherwise give you reason to run. If you have any worry or concern, honey, you will tell me. Just as I will be open with you.”

Elise looked at him carefully before nodding and agreeing. “All right.” The words rang sincerely, and his face lightened as if by magic, and a huge weight lifted from her shoulders.

He smiled at her and said cheerfully, “That’s not to say that you won’t take correction, honey. And if you give me cause to worry the way I did last night, I might correct you at the Club, in front of witnesses.”

Elise felt the telltale signs of arousal once again, and her eyes drifted shut. Ross arranged her to straddle his lap and yanked the tie on her robe open, pulling it down to trap her arms against her sides. Her bra straps followed, and Elise felt her breasts pop free of the restraining cups, the nipples already taut. He pinched them and rolled them until she couldn’t hold back her moans. Ross chuckled and then made a frustrated sound as his fingers came up against her cotton-covered crotch. She felt it pull and then a tearing sound.

“Ross!”

“They were ugly anyhow. You need to wear sexy panties if you must wear any at all, and we’ll go buy some today, like the ones you wore to the Club. Now, lift up.”

Elise obligingly raised her hips by flexing her thighs and watched as Ross unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. It was already rock hard and dripping for her, and she wished her hands were free so that she could stroke it. Ross squirmed to get a hand into his left pocket and cursed, then tried his right.

“Goddamn it, I thought I had a condom.”

“I’m clean, Ross. I was cured back then, and I haven’t been with anyone since. Are you okay?”

“I never fuck without a condom, honey, and I want to take you without anything between us, but it’s too soon to be thinking of babies.”

Involuntary tears pricked her eyes, and she blinked furiously. Ross stilled and took her head between his hands. “What is it?”

“I can’t have kids, Ross. I should have told you. The chlamydia and all.”

“Oh, honey, I don’t care. Let’s worry about that later.”

Elise nodded numbly, and he fitted his cock to her opening, hitching just enough to put the head inside. She lowered herself by fractions until he was enclosed in her. He watched with her as her body slowly took him inside, and his face became taut with desire. She rode him, gently at first, her upper body rigid, but he soon took control of her movements, grasping her hips and beginning to almost slam her down on him as he thrust. He touched her G-spot on every other push, and despite her sadness about her admission and his apparent dismissal of it, Elise felt her climax build. When Ross brought a hand around to rub the little knot at her apex and then sucked a nipple into his mouth at the same time, she shattered. Ross groaned in the next moment and filled her with his seed, the heat extending her orgasm until she let herself sink against him. He ran a hand down her back, and they rested together.

“Elise? I meant it. I’m not ducking the issue. I think this relationship is going somewhere, too, and you don’t need to feel that you’ve pushed me or assumed anything. If you can’t have children and you want a family in time, and we are still together, we’ll figure something out.”

She felt curiously light. She hadn’t gotten ahead of herself after all, despite their short, albeit intense involvement. He had read her like the proverbial book and her trust level increased exponentially, although she hadn’t missed the part he had said about still being together.

“Let’s get cleaned up then take care of the mess I made in your kitchen. Where’s the closest lingerie store?”

Ross picked out several scraps of lace in a variety of appealing textures and colors and went back to the dressing room where Elise cowered. It had been an effort to get her to leave her apartment because she was worried someone would see her and find out she was pretending illness to play hooky. For his part, Ross was enjoying his day without working. It was another first in his life, and again because of this woman.

They had taken a quick shower together and Ross’s elbows now matched Elise’s ass as a result of banging against the walls of the narrow tub-surround. There had not been room for them both, so Ross had solved that by pushing her flat against the wall under the shower head and efficiently scrubbing her before pulling her back to rinse. He helped her out to wrap up in towels while he finished his ablutions. Seeing her bent over, sliding another pair of those hideous cotton panties up her long legs had nearly undermined his resolve to leave her alone until later, but he had somehow deterred himself by thinking of buying her something delicious and more fun to remove.

They had worked together in the kitchen as though they’d done it many times before. She washed, and he dried, and while she put the dishes away, he had swept the floor and hoped he impressed her with his domesticity. Her story had both broken his heart and enraged him. He idly thought about how he might make her ex’s life interesting, but Elise hadn’t said what had happened to him or even where he was, and Ross didn’t want to make things more difficult for her or her family until he learned more. He didn’t want to hear any more details. His imagination was sufficient, and the sexual assault made a mockery of all the consensual things they had done together and had yet to do. Ross consoled himself by accepting that it was very different when there was trust and respect and love.

He stopped in his tracks, dropping a little black number trimmed in silver lace. As he stooped to retrieve it, the blood rushed to his head, and he felt dizzy for a moment. Love. If this need, this insane possessiveness, tenderness and warmth, all of which he felt for Elise, was love, then he guessed it felt just fine. He hurried back to the dressing room so that his sweetheart could model her new lingerie. Ross had always wondered if he could get away with sex in a public place.

“I’m not trying that one.” Elise’s mouth was set in that rebellious line again, and Ross decided to kiss it right off her lips. When he released her, they were both breathing hard, and Elise let him slip the chemise over her head. It lovingly encased her round breasts and fell in suggestive folds over her hips to swirl around the tops of her thighs. Ross turned her to face the mirror and stood behind her, watching her face as she saw how the golden-brown fabric set off her skin and hair. Her eyes met his in the reflection, and she made a tiny smile and released a little purring sound, reminding him again of how he liked cats. He leaned back to push in the lockset on the doorknob and reached to hook the little vanity bench toward him. Elise’s eyes widened as he dropped to his knees amidst the scatter of clothing and felt beneath the lingerie to pull her panties down. He tapped on one foot and then the other and Elise stepped out of them.

“Face me.” He heard her breath catch, and she quickly turned to him. He lifted one long leg to set her foot on the bench and open her to him, the chemise folding back to reveal her pussy. If he could find a salon with an appointment for today, Elise was getting waxed. She deserved to feel everything he could do to a naked cunt. He spread her folds wider and leaned in to lick her from anus to clit and was rewarded with an instantaneous flow of her cream. She tasted amazing, and he dove right in. Elise grabbed at his shoulders for balance and moaned quietly. Ross hid a smile against her inner lips and knew how conflicted she would be feeling, aware that the saleswoman lurked just outside and yet wanting the orgasm he was promising. He set to work and let her decide. He darted his tongue into her opening and then retreated to lash her clit. Elise didn’t try to direct his movements, and he relished her submission. When her pelvis began to undulate, he shoved two fingers high and hard inside of her and pinched her clit between his teeth. Her cream flooded his face, and her hands slipped to his head and tangled in his hair, the sting of it making him wince and tug her clit harder. Elise gave a tiny shriek and came again. Ross tucked that little bit of knowledge away for another day and licked her gently until she settled, and then moved back to lower her foot to the floor. She was flushed and panting, her chest heaving beneath the sensuous fabric and Ross wished he could push the odds and have her service him right then and there. With considerable effort, he willed his arousal back and grabbed a tissue to wipe his face and hands before taking a few more to tidy Elise up.

“We’ll take this one for sure, honey.” Ross managed not to smile at the indignant look she flashed him. He helped her out of the chemise and gathered up the rest of his favorites, refusing to look at her naked body for fear he would lose control. “I’ll meet you at the sales counter.” The door closed on her protests.

The saleswoman rang the purchases through, and Ross wondered how less than a pound of fabric could possibly warrant the cost until he remembered how Elise looked in them. His credit card could well withstand it, and Elise was priceless. He inquired and was told that the Black Orchid salon sometimes took walk-ins and was just a few minutes away. When Elise joined him, looking somewhat disheveled, he announced a surprise and ushered her out the door.

“I am not!” Elise hissed at him, trying not to let on about her shock and fury at his suggestion in front of the receptionist. Suggestion! He wasn’t suggesting. He was insisting. He had marched her into this flower place, and it turned out to be a salon full of tiny little svelte women dressed in little black outfits and who probably had no body hair. They certainly had enough piercings, and if Ross thought for one moment that she was getting any parts of her pierced, he had another think coming.