“When did this start?” I asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” she answered, staring forward. “Maybe when you came back from Venus. It was awkward at first, but I thought it was just the stress of being around Drake. The night before you moved that wall, he didn’t sleep; he stayed up. He even made me take him back to Esterious. As we walked those dark streets, the cries from the other side of the wall made me cringe. I had to force him to come home; he kept telling me he couldn’t breathe here. I left him in the string and went home, and he was there when I woke up. He told me that he knew that Drake was gonna convince you to let him use your power, that the devil would invade Drake at that moment and you’d be taken for good. I tried to tell him he was insane, that this was over, but he didn’t care. When I saw Drake lead you down that hall, I saw Dane’s fears coming to life, so I told him to take you and run when you came back.”
She tilted her head as if she were watching it all play out again. “I don’t know why I didn’t think that you’d be able to stop him. I guess I was just so terrified that he basically predicted what would happen next.” She sighed, then continued. “When we left, I wanted to go anywhere but Chara or Esterious. I had endless places in mind, but he stopped in the string right in front of Armtames, telling me to go there. I argued, but he stepped through without me. I was afraid he’d be hurt; I knew that the town was on edge, ready to attack Delen at any moment. We found our way to one of the allies our family has there, and I’d wake up in the middle of the night to find him gone. I even went looking for him once. I was almost caught by one of the priests, but this woman pulled me into her home just in time.”
I swallowed hard, pushing down the anger I had for Dane at that moment. I wanted to know if this woman was the same woman I’d seen him with, but I didn’t want to stop her; I wanted to listen.
“She’s breathtaking, Willow; absolutely seductive. I had a hard time believing she was a part of that world. She had a way of making you talk to her; she was so calm. She told me she knew I was a traveler and that she’d seen me look for the one they call Willow.”
I tilted my head. “Who’s side is she on?” I asked bleakly.
“I’m not sure anymore. She said she was on yours, and she told me about these meetings that were being held in secret, that they were gonna take you, place you in a moment where you’d have to choose Drake. She said that I should go so I could go home and warn you, show you who they were because they were slowly entering Delen, acting as if they were lost refugees.” She shook her head from side to side. “I was too scared to go, so I told Dane to – and they posed as a couple. From a distance, I watched them, how she’d look at him, the way she’d brush up against him. Even in a crowded room, in front of priests, you could see the lust she had for him. When I talked to him about it, he tried to fight about it. He told me I was insane, that he was just doing what I told him to and that others were watching; if they didn’t act like that, he would be killed.”
I moved closer to her so I could put my arm around her.
“I believed him at first, and I felt guilty for putting him in danger. I blamed myself for it, but then I woke up this morning and realized that this was wrong, so wrong that it made me sick to my stomach. I told him we needed to go, and I pulled him all the way here, but he said he couldn’t breathe, then left to go back. I caught up with him and told him that we knew enough and that what we didn’t know, we could figure out with our family. He was furious, and he started saying that I must not love him, that I was jealous of you, that I wanted to see you die, that my foolish thoughts had pushed me there – and that I should be ashamed of having such a horrible mind. I don’t even remember what I said. I screamed at him, not caring that anyone would hear us, then I ran – I ran like hell. I have this awful fear that he’s in jail somewhere, that they heard us argue and came for him. The only thing keeping me here is knowing that Drake won’t kill him without your consent.”
I glanced away, silently telling her that I’d seen him.
“You saw him?” she asked, sitting up a little straighter.
“In the string right after you ran across the field.”
“So he’s safe?” she said, taking in a breath.
“I don’t know,” I said shortly.
“What?” she asked quietly, furrowing her eyebrows.
“He was just really short with everyone and refused to come home. Then...”
“Then what?” she asked.
“I was on a walk with my dad in Delen, and I saw him in an alley with a girl – I guess the one you were talking about. She took off, but I lost my temper...and I hurt him.”
“You hurt him?” she repeated, sitting up straighter while fighting off a defensive emotion.
“A few broken ribs,” I confessed, looking down.
“What caused that?” she asked, knowing I had to have had my reasons.
“I just didn’t like what I saw, what I felt. He said something about meetings, how she knew all the players and that you were safer here.”
Clarissa’s hands tightened around her blanket. “Could you see the back of her neck? Was there a birthmark that looked like a broken heart there?”
I let my eyes tell her no as they questioned her.
She just looked down. “I should have known the first time I saw that mark on her that she was evil. I don’t know why I didn’t go with my instincts, why I walked right into this and willingly gave her the man I love, like I wasn’t good enough for him. How did he feel about that woman?” she asked calmly.
I hesitated before I answered, wondering who this woman really was; if she was demon, where she came from, and what she wanted. I mean, if I were a demon, I would have targeted Drake or even Landen. I assumed Clarissa had just let her thoughts run wild and had somehow found a way to blame this seductive woman instead of me for her and Dane’s fight. I was OK with that; I didn’t want her to be mad at me, even if all of this was in some way my fault.
“Not the same way he feels about you; he tried to prove it by thinking of you in front of me. Something doesn’t feel right, though.”
“It doesn’t...we aren’t soul mates.”
“Clarissa,” I sighed, looking up at her.
She shook her head from side to side. “I don’t know him. I should be furious, beg you to tell me what you felt between them, chase after him – but I’m not. I don’t care to ever see him again. I’m more worried about telling my dad, my brothers.”
“He’s afraid of that, too. He begged me not to, told me that they’d disown him – disown you.”
She shook her head. “They’ll be mad, but they won’t disown anyone; they’ll just send him away. Mom told me to just take one breath at a time. She told me to rest, then go and find him because she thinks if I let him stay out of sight, I’ll forget about him. I hope she’s right because I can’t think about him anymore or try to understand why or how he changed so fast – or if he even changed at all, if I was just blind. I had to be wrong, Willow, because if I was right it wouldn’t have mattered how seductive that girl was or what mark she had on her. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have been able to carry out any act that real.”
“I know my best friend loves you, and if I were you, I’d fight; hold your ground, but fight.”
“My ground is in Chara. If he wants me, then that’s where he’s gonna have to come – and according to him, he can’t breathe here; that alone should tell me that we aren’t meant to be.”
“Not everyone comes home to Chara,” I said, reminding her that some couples stay where they find each other.
She nodded. “But they don’t choose to go to a demented dimension either. If he wanted to stay in Franklin, that would be different. He doesn’t care to be anywhere but Esterious.”
I leaned back into the couch and stared forward. “I didn’t feel anything from that woman, and that isn’t a good sign. For some reason, what I feel around him seems to turn on and off at will. Landen even noticed, and he asked me why I didn’t see his intent earlier today.” I looked to my side at her. “What if they’ve done something to him? What if he’s lost under some spell?”
She shook her head. “I’ve already thought of that. He was acting strange long before I found that woman; he actually became more balanced when she came around. Maybe you can’t feel him because you’re overstimulated.”
“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out, though,” I assured, looking at her.
“Don’t worry about us; worry about these meetings. Whoever’s in Delen, I came here to tell Landen about them.”
“Dane told him. Drake said it’s normal because of the winter solstice, but the people in Esterious, are wrong about the date. We’ve altered the time by stopping it so many times, so whatever they do will be on the wrong day.”
“Don’t underestimate these people. I’ve seen dark, twisted things before, but never anything like this. I have no idea how Drake and Beth stay sane.”
“They’re in the palace, away from it all.”
I saw headlights flash across the front window. I thought Landen was back, but then I realized it was Felicity. She was alone.
Clarissa tensed at my side.
“It’s not Landen,” I said quietly.
“Brady?” she asked, not finding much comfort.
“Felicity.”
She relaxed and took a breath.
“I’ll tell him for you. I’ll even tell Brady.”
She nodded, not finding much comfort in my promise.
Felicity walked in the front door and immediately glanced to the living room to where we were. She was carrying a small basket, and I could smell the home cooked meal coming from it.
“You’re missing three little people,” I noted, trying to smile.
She nodded and walked over to us, sitting on the table in front of the couch. “It’s past their bedtime. Aubrey has Allie, and I wanted to make sure the two of you ate.”
“Perfect mother figure,” Clarissa mocked under her breath with a tone that was laced in envy.
Felicity smiled slightly. “Are we out of tears yet?” she asked, glancing at Clarissa. I had the impression that Felicity had been with her most of the day.
“No, but it hurts to cry; my eyes are burning.”
Felicity started to pull the wrapped plates out of her basket. “I’m not hungry,” Clarissa muttered quietly.
“Yes, you are. Besides, I know you missed my cooking. It’ll make you feel better; eat just a little bit.”
Clarissa took her plate and adjusted herself so she could eat it. I wanted to argue that I wasn’t hungry either, but I knew it would be pointless and followed Clarissa’s lead.
Felicity leaned back on her arms and didn’t say anything until we were almost done. “I worry about the two of you,” she said quietly.
I refused to look at her.
“Do you want to know why Olivia got that tattoo?” Felicity asked, leaning forward, physically expressing her disappointment in me.
I put my plate down beside me. “To be a martyr,” I said shortly. “Sorry,” I murmured, regretting the sting in my words.
Felicity tilted her head as she raised one eyebrow and set the intent to put me in my place. “She had a dream. She dreamed of her mom, who told her to get the tattoo so you wouldn’t kill her.”
“What?!” I said, sitting up, completely awestruck. Olivia’s mom had died years ago. She never talked about her, not once; it hurt her too bad. I felt horrible, sick to my stomach.
“She said when she had a dream that it showed her her home in Franklin. She was in her room in her mom’s house, but she wasn’t little; she was the age she is now. Music was blaring, and she was rocking back and forth to it, then her mom came in. She thought she was in trouble because she had it too loud. Her mom told her that she was late, that she had an appointment to get a tattoo, then she handed her a sketch of your tattoo. She said she argued with her and told her that it was yours, and her mom said that she knew that but that she had to have it, too, so you would know she was real and wouldn’t kill her by mistake.”
“Why would I kill her?” I said breathlessly as my heart started to race. “I could never kill any -“ I stopped myself as I realized how easily I’d struck Dane; if I forced something like that on someone as small as Olivia, I knew the damage would be far worse.
“She said her mom was urgent, didn’t give her a choice, then she went to her stereo, turned up the song, and said, ‘Find this song, and you will see.’”
“What song?” I asked, edging closer to the edge of the couch.
Felicity moved her head from side to side. “She doesn’t know. She said she recognized the voice, but not the song. She sat in meditation for the rest of the night, trying to remember who sang it or the words, but she said all she could hear was the guitar. Chrispin begged her to get the tattoo. He told her that you’ve been too calm, that you’d erupt one day, and he wanted to make sure you knew not to hurt her – that you knew she was Olivia.”
“I may look calm, but I’m not; my thoughts spin, and I don’t have half the control you think I do - so why would a tattoo stop me if I was full of rage? What would cause us to reach that point?”
“I don’t know,” Felicity said quietly.
Clarissa leaned closer to me and took my hand.
“’...and you will see,’” I repeated, trying to understand the dream.
They both nodded as if to confirm.