Vital (13 page)

“I have to have control over my life, my direction - do you realize they were going to have me kill Drake a few days ago? If I just stand there and ‘listen’ or trust the outcome, there’s no telling what could happen.”

“You made the right decision: you listened. At the last minute, you listened to you, who you were and who you are. You never had a doubt that they would save you, at least not deep down. Take control of your life, but calm down and worry about Willow; Willow and Landen. Let the others play whatever roles they feel they need to.”

“What if that role puts them in danger?” I asked.

“Listen to why they want to do what they want to do. If you still have fears, tell them, but don’t force your ideas; state them, then follow your path.”

I took in a deep breath. “Alright, Dad,” I said calmly.

He shook his head. “You just pushed this down, didn’t you?”

I grinned slightly. “I don’t even know.”

“When you fought with Olivia and Clarissa today, did you yell?” he asked.

“Um, yeah,” I said with a smirk, still furious with the both of them.

“Good,” he said, relaxing his shoulders.

“What?!”

He shrugged his shoulders “You let it out; we’ve been waiting for you to do that.”

“Who?”

“Everyone. On the inside, you may be struggling, but on the outside you look too calm. A little anger, yelling – that makes you more approachable.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t understand your logic,” I said, looking down.

He pulled my chin up. “Don’t look down. Look straight ahead and express your emotions; don’t push them down.”

“OK,” I breathed, smiling slyly and holding my chin higher than I needed to to look at him over my nose.

He laughed under his breath and shook his head. “That’s my girl.”

We started to walk back to the palace. He didn’t force me to talk, and I didn’t really try to think about anything; it was actually the most relaxed I’d felt in weeks.

As we moved closer, I felt Dane. As I furrowed my eyebrows and focused on him. I felt anticipation, lust, and desire coming from him. I knew it wasn’t for Clarissa because I couldn’t feel her; oddly, I couldn’t feel anyone but him. There was an alleyway approaching, and I put hand out to stop my dad; I didn’t want him to see what I thought I felt.

“Wait right here for a second,” I murmured.

“Why, Willow?”

I raised my finger to tell him to be quiet, then stepped closer to the alley.

I’d never felt emotions this powerful in my life; they were heart racing and dangerous. I knew my most heated moments of passion never came close to this seductive rush that I could feel. It took my breath away to feel them. I cautiously stepped closer to the alley, listening for a sound, hoping I was wrong – that this wasn’t him. I peeked around the corner and saw two shadowed figures. The one I thought was Dane was leaning against the wall, and woman had her coat open around them with his arms inside. I stared, paralyzed as I saw his head in her neck and her raising her leg against his.

I was sick; so mad, I was sick. I looked forward, then took
in a deep breath. I knew my father wasn’t going to let me step down the alley, and if he followed me he’d see this – and that would be the end. Dane would never recover from this action; not that he deserved to, but still I didn’t want anyone else to see it. I extended my hand around the corner and pushed a bolt of my energy down the alley. It was so strong, I heard it rumble the dumpster at the other end.

My father’s curiosity grew, and he started to step slowly toward me. The emotions I felt diminished, and alarm rose; not fear, just alarm. A second later, the woman walked out of the alley. I couldn’t see her face; it was shadowed by the hood she was wearing, and she didn’t look my way as she turned to walk out of the alley. As she walked away, she tightened the belt around her coat. I was ailing with anger. I thought about pushing a bolt of energy at her, but just as I went to raise my hand, I felt my father’s hand on my shoulder.

“What’s going on?” he asked, quietly watching the woman disappear into the darkness.

I shook my head. “Wait here,” I said, turning to go into the alley.

“No, Willow,” my father argued, gripping my shoulder.

I turned to look at him. “Dad, I’m following my emotions. My head is high, and if you want to see me yell, I’m sure you can hear it from here.”

“Who’s down there?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows, determined to follow me.

At that moment, Dane stepped out of the alley. My father raised his eyebrows, then looked in the direction the woman had just walked.

“OK,” my father said, letting go of my shoulder, then nodding to tell me to do what I had to do.

Dane was looking down the street for anyone else that might be with us. I raised my hand slightly and pushed my energy at him, thrusting him back into the alley. I then turned sharply to follow him. You’d think I’d feel guilt or remorse, maybe even fear coming from him, but he was calm and held the same expression. It made me so mad that I pushed my energy at him again, forcing him to the wall. I held it there, pinning him in place. He struggled like a fool, even trying to push against it, but I was so mad that whatever power I had was intensified.

“Do you want to explain yourself?!” I said in a harsh whisper.

“Explain what?!” he retorted shortly.

“Are you out of your f’” I had to hold back the onslaught of curse words that wanted to fly from my mouth. “You’re possessed – is that it?!”

He shook his head and smiled sardonically. “Could you at least tell me what I did?” he said, trying to push against the hold I had on him.

“You want me to say it?!” I said through gritted teeth. “You want me to explain what I saw? What I felt? I have never...I...I could just kill you right now and never have a single regret.”

“Kill me?” he said in a gasp. “Looks like your bad company is wearing off on you.”

I pulled my hand back and forced another blow of energy at him, then raised him just inches off the ground against the wall. “I’ve never – and I mean
never
- had emotions like that come from me! How sick are you?! If I said the name ‘Clarissa’, would I feel guilt coming from you? Do you even know who she is anymore? You’ve disgraced everything our world stands for!”

“
Our
world?! That is
not
our world – and my relationships are none of your business.”

“Really? None of my business? If I was Landen, Marc, or Brady – you’d be dead by now.”

He shook his head. “They don’t have the courage to kill. Remember: Drake is still breathing – lucky for you.”

I raised him up further and pushed him so hard against the wall, I could see him struggling for breath.

“Who was that girl! Why could I not feel her?”

“Are you jealous?” he said through broken breaths. “Don’t you have enough boy problems without adding me to the list?”

“Jealous of you? Never!” I smirked, regretting that I even knew him. “Who was she?!” I yelled.

“A friend. Someone who’s giving me the information I need.”

“That’s
not
what she was giving you. I can feel you – or have you forgotten that?!”

“I don’t know what you think you saw or felt, but you’re wrong,” he argued, finally finding strength enough to push me back. I let him fall, exhausted from holding him in place.

“Explain,” I bellowed.

“She knows every player in this game. We have to meet in private; no one can know she’s talking to me.”

“You weren’t talking; those emotions don’t have words.”

“Do you recognize those emotions? Do your lovers make you feel that way?” he mocked.

“My lovers? What?! Not a word to use in the plural! And to answer your question: NO. My emotions have heart behind them – not selfish desire!”

He raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Well, that’s sad...maybe you
should
add me to your list.”

I didn’t have to even think about it; I pushed my hands forward and slammed him into the wall as hard as I could. He screamed in agony. My father stepped around the corner with the intent to help, but I held my hand up, telling him to stay; whatever pain Dane was in, he deserved it.

“I really do think you’re possessed – and the bad part is, they won’t listen to me; they’ll destroy you before I finish my sentence.”

“Willow, I’m not possessed. I didn’t do anything wrong. You may have felt an emotion, but you didn’t see an action. You managed to stop anything before it happened, so thank you.”

“Thank you?!” I said, pushing the weight of my energy against him and watching him squint in pain.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll be sure to return the favor if you ever get caught with Drake. I’ll fling you against a wall and make you come to your senses.”

“How dare you! I don’t have those emotions with him!”

“How do you know
he
doesn’t?” he asked coldly.

“Because I can see it in his eyes, you bastard,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Listen, I admit that that girl brings out emotions in me that are hard to control, hard to ignore - but I always do make it through, and she tells me what I need to know to help you.”

“Help me?!” I said, pushing against him.

“Yes, help you. I can tell you every person in this city that’s after you, every person that’s plotted to kill Drake.”

“I don’t want your help – not anymore. You’re sick, so sick that I can’t even look at you,” I seethed, letting him go.

As soon as he was free, he rushed to me.

“Stop!” he pleaded. “Just stop. Don’t be mad. I’m sorry; you’re the only one in this entire family that I trust right now.”

“I should be the last. Do you think I’m just gonna ignore this?!”

“Yes. Yes, I do because if you go back and tell them what you thought you saw, you’ll give everyone doubt about soul mates – everyone. Did you hear that? Do you need doubt right now?”

“I don’t need
this
– and you’ve given me doubt, doubt that everything falls into place and happens for a reason. Maybe Clarissa was just too eager to find her soul mate...maybe she just thought it was you because of Landen and me. I bet if I look hard enough, I’d find another couple that made a mistake like this.”

“We aren’t a mistake; we’re just in a bad spot. We’ll get over it. These people, the ones at these meetings – they’ve gotten into my head. I have to act like them, talk like them to fit in, and sometimes I fall too deeply into that role – I admit that. Honestly, Clarissa is safer at a distance. What you saw was an act, so if anyone followed her, they’d think we’re lovers.”

I couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth or not; I was too furious. “You fell too far into that role! I felt you, Dane; I felt those emotions from you – not her.” I shook my head and started to walk away.

He put his hand on my shoulder. “Do you trust me?” he whispered.

“Not right now,” I mumbled, walking away from him.

He stepped in front of me. “Tell me to think of Clarissa,” he begged, holding my shoulders.

I pushed his hand off me “Do it,” I demanded.

At that moment, his emotion changed to devotion, bliss, gratitude, sorrow, and love.

I shook my head. “Good job – you have a memory,” I said bleakly, unimpressed by his display.

“Are you gonna tell Landen?”

“
That’s
who you care about me telling?”

“Drake?” he asked.

“Seriously, Dane?!”

“Those two are the ones I’m worried about. Clarissa will understand; she’s seen me with that girl, and she knows who she is and what I wanted out of talking to her. Landen...if he says the word, our family will disown me – disown her. Drake..he’d kill me if you asked – if you even hint to your approval.”

“If I asked Clarissa about you being with a girl in a dark alley, she’ll
understand
?!” I said in a disgusted tone.

“Yeah, she will. She told me to talk to her in the first place. She knows I struggle and that I haven’t given in – and I wouldn’t have tonight, I promise.” He tilted his head. “You see my truth, don’t you?”

I shook my head no, looking at him like he was insane. “I’m too mad.”

“Are you gonna tell them?” he asked again.

“I haven’t decided,” I seethed.

“Willow,” my father said, loud enough to get my attention.

I shook my head in disgust at Dane, then walked to the end of the alley where he was standing. When I reached him, he put his arm around me. “Are you alright?” he asked in a concerned tone.

“Yeah, is he?” I asked bleakly, stepping back out onto the sidewalk.

My dad looked over his shoulder at Dane, who wasn’t brave enough to follow me yet.

“Nope. You fractured four ribs,” my dad said quietly, with pride echoing in his emotion.

“Is that all?” I muttered, wishing I’d broken them all.