Virgin Dancer (5 page)

A few days later, Caleb's words turned out to be true. In the meantime, Jade had spent a lot of time thinking about an explanation for Alrik's strange behavior. Sure, she hadn't been allowed to enter his penthouse and speak to him again, but if the truth were told, he hadn't promised her anything. Despite her offer to have sex with him, without any obligations, he had just let her go. She knew that he would have liked to be with her, very much so. She had felt what an effort it had cost him to restrain himself. Nevertheless he had send her away. Actually, it had been an honorable thing to do. He had behaved like a gentleman.

However, she cursed him for it. At night she tossed and turned in her lonely bed, ferociously wishing that she'd had that one night with him, a night to keep and cherish in her memory forever. Her body still burned for him, and she didn't know if she could ever be with another man without thinking of him.

Damn him.

But fate decided otherwise. One afternoon she was in her favorite little bookshop off Bay Street, rummaging through out-of-prints about ballet technique, when she saw him. She had only looked up from her book by chance. A few seconds later, and her life might have taken another course.

Alrik was walking by, right on the other side of the shop's window front. It was impossible to miss him; not many men walking the streets of New York were as tall. He wore jeans and a plain white shirt that was open at the neck. His head was downturned, his hands hidden in his pockets. He seemed to be lost in thought and didn't see her, even though she was standing only a few feet away. Instantly she felt her heart beating rapidly inside her chest, and her hands that were still holding the book began shaking slightly.

Quickly, she put the book back on its shelf and went out after him, looking in the direction he had walked. At first she didn't see him, but then she spotted him down the street. Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head, apparently sensing that someone was watching him. Jade hid behind the postcard display of a souvenir shop, hoping that he hadn't seen her. Her heart was pounding hard, and she held her breath, waiting. After a while, she stuck out her head to see what he was doing. She couldn't help giggling a bit, this situation was so awkward but she hadn't enjoyed herself like that in years.

To her utter relief, he just disappeared into St. George Terminal, obviously intending to take the Staten Island Ferry. It was a dull, foggy afternoon – no chance of taking good pictures of the Statue today -, and there were only a few people waiting in the line. While he was inside the building, she followed him cautiously. She just couldn't help herself.

It was astounding that a wealthy club owner would spend his free time in such an unspectacular way, taking a free boat trip on the Hudson River. She'd rather imagine that he owned a yacht himself, or went to fancy places with breathtakingly beautiful women. She was standing at the bus stop on the other side of the street when he suddenly emerged, much sooner than she had expected. With a small outcry, she dived behind one of the trees that had been so conveniently planted at the corner. She pressed her back against the rough bark of the trunk, closing her eyes in fear that he might have seen her spying on him. Breathing heavily, she waited a few moments before she dared to turn around and peek out from her hiding place.

Alrik was gone. She turned her head and looked up and down the street to both sides, then to the harbor, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Damn!” she cursed under her breath. But this was impossible! There was no way he could have vanished so quickly. She had a clear view to the ferry dock, so he couldn't have gone there. So where the heck was he? She didn't want to re-emerge behind her tree too soon, in case he appeared again and caught her spying. Surely he wouldn't believe her if she pretended her trip to the harbor was mere coincidence.

“Good afternoon, Jade.” The sound of Alrik's deep voice made her jump, and at the same time sent a shiver of awareness down her spine. Leisurely rounding the tree, he came to stand right in front of her, his tall, broad frame intimidating and exciting at the same time. She wasn't used to feeling small in the presence of a man. It made her feel strangely petite, feminine, and she didn't even know if she loved or hated this newfound weakness.

“I …,” she began, and then fell silent. It was pointless pretending that she was here for any other reason but to spy on him. After all, she was hiding behind a tree.

“Did you find out anything interesting by following me?” he asked nonchalantly, a half-smile on his lips. “I saw you in the bookshop, you know.”

“But you didn't stop to talk to me,” she said, feeling incredibly foolish now.

“No, I didn't," he replied earnestly, without attempting to explain himself. He didn't need to.

“Of course,” she said bitterly. “What we did the other night … it didn't mean anything to you. Probably there's already another woman in your bed.”

“There is no other,” he said, averting his gaze. “I think I told you my reasons.”

“Well, yes,” she answered. “You're not good for me, and I should stay away. Very satisfying explanation. Good-bye, Alrik. I don't need to be where I'm not wanted.”

She turned away to leave before he saw the tears welling up in her eyes. Suddenly his hand closed around her arm, holding her back. She was only wearing a sleeveless blouse, and his fingers on her flesh made her skin tingle like an electric shock as heat shot through her arm.

“Jade … don't go,” he said, and a desperate undertone had crept into his voice. “I am sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. You can't imagine how hard it was for me to send you away that night.”

“Still you did,” she whispered. “I would have stayed. I was ready to give ...”

“I know,” he said. “But there will be another someone who's better for you.”

“Don't be ridiculous now, Alrik,” Jade hissed, shaking off his hand. She knew that she wouldn't be able to keep her tears from flowing if he continued touching her like this. “You make me sick with your heroic selflessness. You suppose that there's some perfect dream man already waiting for me around the next corner, with an engagement ring in his pocket? If you continue to talk such nonsense, you’ll have me believing that you're a hopeless romantic.”

This made him laugh. “All right. Well, if I promise to be an egoistic, unromantic womanizer in the next hour or so, will you give me the honor of accompanying me on this boat trip?”

She stared at him, stunned. “What do you mean?”

He gestured to the harbor. “The ferry, of course. It's leaving in ten minutes. We’d better get going if we want to pass through control and make it in time.”

“Why?” she asked numbly, still trying to comprehend that he had just asked her to join him on his day out - after all, he had caught her spying on him!

He sighed. “I often go for a ferry ride if my schedule leaves me a free hour. I just like being on open water. It reminds me of my home town in Sweden. When I was a boy, I used to go sailing with my father every weekend. And I asked you because I'd like to spend some time with you … as friends, of course.” He tossed her a boyish grin that she guessed was supposed to make him look innocent.

Jade giggled. “I don't believe that for a second.”

“But you'll come anyway?” he asked, hope in his voice. His ice-grey eyes were searching hers, almost pleading.

Jade was astonished by his behavior. Either she saw a glimpse of the 'real' Alrik right now – or this was just a very clever method of charming his way into her pants again. Either way, at the moment he looked sincere. Of course, it was also a perfect opportunity to repay him for sending her away. She could easily heal her wounded pride by saying “No, thanks,” and just leave.

But what would she gain if she did and never saw him again? She'd probably regret it for the rest of her life. This man already held her heart in his hands without even knowing it - and he could crush it anytime, especially if she allowed this to go further. He affected her in a way no one ever had before, and she knew that she couldn't resist him if he chose to take advantage of her inexperience in love matters this time. Without a doubt, turning around and leaving would save her from a lot of pain.

“I'll come with you,” she heard herself saying before she knew it. His smile – genuine and pleased, it seemed to her - made her heart pound so hard in her chest that it nearly hurt. A golden strand of hair fell over his forehead, and she fought the urge to smooth it back.

He took her hand in his, entwining his fingers with hers. Jade sighed, because it felt right, so right.

“Only five minutes until departure now,” he said, very softly. This broke the spell, and they started to walk quickly towards the terminal. “Come on, old man,” Jade said, and they broke into a run as he growled and followed her, laughing. She didn't stand a chance against his long legs. It wasn't easy to follow his long strides as he took her to the terminal and through the control gates. Hurrying up the dock and on the boat, they finally stopped on the upper deck of the boat, panting.

“You are so slow that in Sweden, you'd have been hunted down and eaten by a bear long ago,” he said with a lop-sided grin that made her heart miss a beat.

“I don’t believe there are any bears in Sweden anymore,” she answered while they sat down on one of the benches. They were all alone on the deck. The clouds were dense and almost black now, and a light drizzle had begun to fall. The few other passengers had already retreated to the lower parts of the ferry.

“Only a few,” he murmured, a surprising tenderness in his voice. He jokingly bared his teeth for her and growled. Startled, she winced; then giggled again as he pretended to bite her. “If you get outrun by a bear, he'll eat you alive.” His gaze wandered over her face and lingered on her neck, and she had the distinct feeling that he wanted to finish his tale by actually tasting her sensitive skin. Or did she only want him to do it? She realized that she had tilted her head slightly until her hair fell back, baring her neck to him. His eyes had taken on a deeper grey hue now as he stared at her, almost as dark as the heavy rain clouds above.

"And what if the prey didn't object?" she whispered, her eyes traveling from his eyes to his mouth. It was lush for a man's, and the mere thought of kissing him made her moisten her lips, involuntarily. Then his attention was on her mouth as well, looking at it as if he'd just seen a special treat he'd like to taste. She forgot to breathe for a moment, and when she did, her intake of breath sounded like a soft moan, barely audible.

"Alrik," she said. Her tone was almost pleading, and it was the last barrier that made the invisible wall between them crack and finally tumble down. In the next moment his hand was at the back of her neck, pulling her closer as he closed his eyes and brushed his lips to hers, gently first, just caressing her mouth with his, tracing the outlines of her upper, then her lower lip. He continued with this until she uttered an impatient sound and tried to open up for him, to invite his tongue. But he quickly regained control by inclining his head slightly, wordlessly telling her that she'd only get what she wanted if she allowed him to set the pace.

His kiss was so tender that it made her want to cry. He took his time, just exploring and tasting her, holding her in the safe circle of his arms. She let it happen and leaned back into his embrace, sighing softly into his mouth as his kiss became bolder. His fingers were in her hair, playfully pulling at the mass of her curls, then caressing her neck.

After a long while, he reluctantly lifted his head, looking down into her eyes. "You are lovely," he said. "We have to stop before this goes too far. I wish I could …"

She shook her head. "Don't," she said, hoping he hadn't realized that her heart was breaking at that very moment. "You didn't promise me anything, and you probably have your own reasons, which – whatever they are - you can't or don't want to speak about."

 He didn't answer, but his eyes left hers.

She swallowed. "Do you have a wife, back in Sweden?"

This made him laugh. "I wish it was as easy like that. No, I don't have a wife … or a girlfriend, nowhere. There are … other circumstances preventing me from being in a serious relationship right now. You deserve much better, Jade."

Fighting a sudden urge to laugh bitterly at this, she simply nodded and looked towards the water. The harbor seemed far away, clouded in mist. It was eerily quiet, apart from the low rumble of the ship's motor.

"Good. This is all I wanted to know." But the conversation had destroyed the magic of the moment, and she moved a bit away from him while he dropped his arms to his sides.

"Don't shut yourself off from me," he said in a slightly husky voice. "I don't want to argue with you, Jade." He cupped her chin with his hand and turned her head towards him, forcing her to look into his eyes. She held her breath at the expression of his face. It was open and filled with a strange longing that shook her down to her core.

"Let's just talk and enjoy being together for now," he said. Slowly, his hand traveled down over her cheek, then over her shoulder and down her arm until he reached her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. "Although we probably won't meet again. You know that, don't you?"