Villainess (28 page)

Leila

I waited on Jonah’s porch, tucked away in the corner on a wooden chair, the darkness holding me in its comforting embrace. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there before Jonah’s heavy footsteps pounded up the old rickety stairs leading him to me. I stood, slinking from the shadows.

Jonah froze as soon as he saw me. “Leila,” he rasped. “What are you doing here?”

He asked the question, but there was lack of surprise in his eyes. “He told you.” Not a question, I already knew the answer. When I’d gotten all of my memories back, I’d remembered Kristoph too. Funny how I hadn’t planned for his presence even though I’d been so careful about everything else.
I guess my visions still have blind spots in them, even after everything I went through to fix that little problem.

“Yes.”

“Then you know it doesn’t matter if you’re wary or even afraid of me now… I can make you love me.”

A sad smile tipped up the corners of his full lips. “No, you can’t, Leila. I’m immune. Always have been.”

I blinked rapidly. “What?”

“I have some kind of shield. Kristoph had his suspicions but he tested his theory and it turned out it was true.”

My mind reeled. Hadn’t Jonah been under my thrall when he didn’t remember who I was? I’d never been able to willingly use my gift on him in our past, but when I didn’t remember the skill, it’d been like second nature. It was part of my plan. I wanted to force myself—I needed Jonah to love me. “Oh God.” I raised a shaky hand to cover my mouth. Had Jonah become my obsession because I could never have him? Tears burned the corners of my eyes making my world blur like watercolors. “But I saw—I saw us—and you—and—” My words were strangled off as I fought to breath. “Do you hate me now?”

“No. I could never hate you, Leila.”

“But you could never love me either, at least not all the way.”
The way I need you to.

“I do love you, Leila. Always have. Always will.”

“You love me even now after you know all the horrible things I’ve done? I’m not a good person, Jonah. I truly am a villainess.”

Jonah’s eyes held mine, and even though I wanted to look away, I couldn’t. “Just because you’ve done bad things, it doesn’t make you evil. You could never be evil, Leila.”

I staggered back as if he’d hit me, unsure of my reaction. “How can you say that? I—”

“I didn’t know about your parents when I broke things off with you. Or your best friend. I didn’t know a lot of things. I would have done everything differently.” He took a tentative step towards me, paused, and then took another. “Let me help you, Leila. For real this time.”

“I don’t want your pity,” I spat. “If I did, I would have told you about my parents all those years ago. I would have told you everything. But I didn’t for a reason.” My pulse had quadrupled in time, the staccato rhythm pounding in my ears.

He took another step towards me, and I backed up until my I had nowhere else to go, my body was flush with the wall. “You were tortured as a child by Project Reaper, and then you had to deal with all that bullshit with your parents. Add in your…gifts. You never had the proper coping skills to deal with any of it. You did what you thought you needed to do to survive. I did that. I helped break you. I’m so sorry.” He reached out his hands. “Let me help you.”

“It was more than coping. I wanted to become what I am so I could—”

“Create heroes. Yes, I know. And as twisted as it was how you went about trying to achieve your goal, your heart was in the right place. You’re not evil. How many times do I have to say it before you believe me?”

Jonah took the last couple of steps to close the distance between us, caging me in with his large body. I inhaled his spicy scent, wanting to absorb it for quite possibly the last time. He may have said he loved me, but I didn’t believe it. How could he, now that he knew the truth?

He dipped his head to whisper in my ear, “I can see it in your eyes—you don’t believe that I love you. I would never lie to you about something like that.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he brought a finger up to silence me. “Shhh…Leila, just listen for once. Really listen to me.”

I stared up into his fathomless depths and nodded once. Both eager and afraid of what he’d say. “I love you, Leila, as in I’m
in
love with you. My feelings for you have always been so intense that they’ve scared me. That’s why I’ll get past all the shit you’ve done, because I don’t know how I would have reacted if I was in your shoes. Obsession and love go hand in hand. I, of all people, know that. I’ve seen so many patients in my office put there because of love. It’s only a problem when it isn’t requited, Leila.”

I blinked rapidly, trying to stave off the tears that were still threatening to escape my eyes. “I don’t understand,” I whispered. How could he love me when, if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t even love myself? Maybe creating heroes was also a way for me to attempt to fix that. If I could create heroes, then maybe I’d believe I was lovable. How ironic that I could force people to love me, and yet I didn’t believe I deserved any of it.

“Let me explain…” His lips ensnared mine, his tongue sweeping in to take control of my mouth. His hands slid under my ass, lifting me up so I had no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. He broke our kiss, blazing a trail down the side of my neck. “I’m in love with you, and I want you all for mine.” He punctuated each word with a push of his hips, his rock hard cock grinding into my heated core.

I still didn’t understand though. How could anyone like Jonah love me, like truly love me, when he knew all the things I’d done?
He’s too good for me.
He deserves someone…better. “Why—how do you love me?” I croaked, wanting to lose myself in everything Jonah, but not quite being able to get there.

“You of all people should know that some things just can’t be explained. My heart wants what my heart wants…and it wants you.”

Something stabbed into my thigh, and I looked down to see a needle protruding from it. “You lied to me.” My eyes drooped, everything going fuzzy.

“No, I didn’t. I do love you, I just…”

Everything went dark.

Jonah

I paused, staring down at Leila’s peaceful face, she was so beautiful in repose, and despite that, guilt gnawed at my gut. I’d drugged her. And I was about to do worse.
But I didn’t lie. Not really. I do love her. She just needs help. Help that I can’t give her, as much as I want to be the one to save her.

I sped towards Kristoph’s hotel, already having called him to let him know I had Leila. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, a set of lights blinked on and off and I pulled around to follow Kristoph’s car. I wasn’t sure where we were going, but I had to trust him. I had no other choice.

We drove for about an hour, the cityscape thinning out into rural surroundings, less streetlights and more green. I kept nervously glancing at Leila in the passenger side of my car. For anyone who didn’t know, she looked like she was merely sleeping. If anyone stopped me, I’d claim she’d been drunk and passed out, hopefully if that happened, no one would recognize her.
This whole thing is beyond risky.

I followed Kristoph’s car as it turned off onto a long dirt road that led to a small rustic cabin. I pulled in beside him and turned off my engine when he did. I sat in my seat, my gut twisting, not wanting to give up Leila again even for a second.
If I feel this way about her and I’m immune to her talents, then imagine the poor bastards she put under her thrall. It’s why I have to do what I’m about to.

Kristoph hobbled up the front walk to the cabin, waving me on. I heaved a huge sigh, forcing myself to move. With Leila in my arms, I made my way across the dimly lit path to enter the dark cabin. I kicked the door shut behind me, and as soon as I did, lights came blazing on. I blinked, the sudden change causing spots to dance in front of my eyes.

The cabin was small, simple, comfortable looking though, with large overstuffed couches and modern appliances. “Where should I put her?”

Kristoph nodded towards a set of stairs. “Upstairs, there’s only one room up there. Cuff her to the bed.” He held out a set of handcuffs, the shiny metal gleaming in the lights.

I snatched them from him and headed upstairs with Leila. After I’d cuffed her and made sure all her vitals were normal, I rejoined Kristoph downstairs. “Now what?”

“Now it’s time for you to forget her.”

What? No.
“What are you talking about? That’s not what we—”

“I’m sorry, Jonah, I really am. I wish you wouldn’t have gotten mixed up in all of this.” Kristoph tore off his glasses and ran his hand through his unruly white hair. “It’s out of my hands now. Leila’s abilities are too powerful for those of Project Reaper to ignore. And they’re not the type of people that you want to—”

“Project Reaper? But it was destroyed—twice now.” I watched as remorse rolled across my old mentor and friend’s face, at least I’d thought him a friend.

“No, just once. After what happened the first time, certain…precautions were made with the rebirth of the project. All of what happened was a test—for her.”

Anger, confusion, panic all warred for control within me, leaving me temporarily paralyzed with uncertainty. “What are you saying?”

“We had someone else who gets visions, stronger visions, working to offset Leila’s much weaker ones. Her other…talent is what we’re after. Not her visions.”

“We. You keep saying we. Please tell me that you aren’t one of them.”

“I’m sorry, Jonah. I’m sorry that you have feelings for her. I’m sorry that—”

“Feelings? I don’t just have feelings! I love her! I’m in love with her! You said you could help her. You said that you could make it so we could be together.”

“I lied.”

I slumped into the couch, defeat riding me hard. I was in so over my head. I’d been lied to, betrayed… I had no idea which way was up or down anymore. “So what happens to me? Do I get my memory scrubbed again? Is that what you meant about me forgetting her?”

“Yes.”

“And was it a lie too, what you told me about being a shield?”

“No, that wasn’t a lie. There was a reason you were brought back into the mix. We needed you, at least for the time being.”

I snorted. “And I trusted you.”

“I’m sorry for that, Jonah. I am quite fond of you. Now you can go back to your life none the wiser that any of this happened with her.”

“My heart won’t forget. It never let her go. My mind may lose all memories of her…again…but there’s obviously a reason why I’ve never been able to have a real relationship since her.” Kristoph remained silent, his eyes remorseful. I hated him for it. It was almost worse that he cared and was still going to screw me over anyways.

“She’s not for you, son. All the things she’s done… The people that are dead because of her—you know all of it now, not just what was in her file.”

It was true that before I’d been privy to the things Leila could do with her ability, I’d wondered how she’d coerced her so-called accomplices into killing for her. I thought maybe she was a part of some kind of cult-like organization…I wasn’t sure. Those were some of the questions I’d hoped to answer in our sessions together. Despite everything, my mind flipped through some of the printout media clippings in her file.

‘Man claims woman put him up to mall shooting…’

‘Bus station bomb: College student says woman told him to do it…’

‘Subway deaths: Serial killer or coincidence?’

‘Plane crash: Dead pilot proclaimed his love for Leila Lovett before downing the plane…’

I shook my head to dislodge the imagery. I’d seen a lot of it on the news too. The woman I loved had caused so many deaths. She was a killer—a murderer.
But it’s not her fault. Not really. I can help her. I need to help her. She needs me.
“And who exactly is she for then? Doesn’t she deserve love? Or what, because she was unfortunate enough to be born different, she doesn’t get basic human rights? She doesn’t get a choice? She was tortured as a child, damnit!”

“It’s more complicated than that. It all is.”

“Yeah, that’s what people always say when it’s not complicated at all but they want to rationalize all their wrong-doings away. I hope you sleep like a fucking baby tonight…friend.”

“Don’t be that way, Jonah. You couldn’t handle her, not the real her.”

I scrubbed my hands down my face, laughing. “Maybe I’m the only one who can. Which of course I saw too late. I let you persuade me into this—all of this.” I stood, and Kristoph backed up, his expression wary. “So how is it going to go down? How are you going to steal her from my mind?”

“It’s my talent, son. I’m one of them too, not just working for Project Reaper, but a part of it. Mind manipulation with memories and such—that’s my specialty.”

Understanding dawned. “The drugs were a cover. That’s why you’re so good at what you do. That’s why you can do things that no one else can.”

“Precisely.”

“But if I’m a shield then—”

“I obviously figured out a way into your mind despite your natural talent. It may have been different if you could control it, but you can’t.”