Very Wicked Things (18 page)

“I didn’t want something I needed. I wanted Dovey.”

–Cuba

I’M GOING TO be a father
kept banging around in my head like a pinball.

The thought made my hands clammy, and I wiped them on my jeans as I stood in the foyer at BA, waiting for Emma to sign out of school in the office. It was Friday, and she was headed to the OBGYN today to get the official confirmation. But I’d seen the pregnancy test stick she’d shown me.

There was no doubt a baby was coming.

I slumped down in one of the leather chairs and pulled out my phone, grimacing when I saw a message from my dad. He was coming home tonight, which meant I’d be telling him the good news.
Hey dad, I know we don’t talk much anymore, but you’re going to be a grandfather. Surprise.

Dovey’s smooth gait caught my attention as she walked down the hall. Dressed in a zebra print skirt and a tight shirt, she passed by the other students, her head bent. I wondered what she was thinking about. Was she remembering the night at her house this week when I’d confessed about Cara? I’d thought about that night a lot, and how good it had felt to have her arms around me. I felt like I couldn’t talk to her right now because of Emma. Fuck. It was frustrating the hell out of me…because we’d crossed a bridge this week, and I wanted to explore it.

In Lit class this morning, I’d gotten annoyed with how she and Sebastian seemed to be hitting it off. They’d giggle at something, and friend or not, I’d wanted to yank him up out of his seat and pound his face. I was a douche for being jealous, but I couldn’t stop myself.

Now, I kept staring at her, willing her to see me. We’d always seemed to have this little connection between us, as if we could sense the other, but it didn’t work today. I sighed, wishing I could go up to her right now, pull her aside, maybe get her to leave and go outside so we could talk. Yeah, right, like that’s all I wanted to do to her.

How in the hell had I avoided her for an entire year?

Because my lust for her still burned white hot. And the love? Who the fuck knew.

Whatever. It didn’t matter. I had Emma. I had responsibilities.

But at least I felt better about the whole Barinsky thing since she’d told me it had been a big misunderstanding…

“Okay, I’m off now,” Emma said, coming to a stop in front of me, blocking my view of Dovey.

I blinked, letting go of Dovey. I had to.

I stood. “I still don’t see why I can’t come with you.”

She jangled her keys at her side. “Because you don’t need to miss class. You’d said you wanted to try to do better. You still have a chance at getting into Southern Methodist, remember?”

I sighed. Yeah. At least, out of all of this, I’d made a conscious decision to wake the fuck up and improve my grades so I could get back on track with pre-med.

But still. Emma was worrying me with her long face and the way her shoulders had seemed hunched over these past few days. She’d withdrawn, barely talking to anyone except me, and it worried me. It reminded me of my mother.

“Text me if you need me,” I told her.

She bit her lip. “It’s fine. I’ll tell you everything they say tonight.”

I smiled, trying to be brave for the us both, when I felt anything but. “Let’s celebrate at dinner tonight, and then we’ll go tell your parents, okay?”

She agreed and left, walking out the double doors. I watched her the entire way, wondering what our future was together. Was I ready to be tied to her for the rest of my life?

I didn’t have a damn clue.

“
I took a pair of leather shoes, and turned them into a dream
.”

–
Dovey

FRIDAY ARRIVED, BRINGING with it the realization that tomorrow was D Day. I shuddered to think what Alexander would do if I didn’t have the drugs sold.

At school, I wasn’t thinking clearly. In Calculus, I’d flunked a math quiz when I ran out of time. I drifted from class to class, barely noticing what was going on around me.

At lunch, I sat across from Spider and Mila, silent while they chatted. His eyes bounced around the cafeteria, never meeting mine. Yeah. We’d crossed a line when he’d asked me out, and I didn’t know how to backtrack and fix it. I wanted to talk to him, perhaps even confide in him, but every time I’d see him, either he had a girl with him or he’d pretend to be in a big hurry.

Our easy going friendship had disappeared.

In dance, I couldn’t get anything right; my jumps were flat and my pirouettes pathetic. After a dismal session, I trudged out the door to snowflakes that fell like fluffy white feathers, a rare thing in Texas. I got to the quad with all the stark oak trees and stopped, watching the barren landscape ease into a white wonderland. On a normal day, I’d be fascinated by the picture it made, but not with the threat of Alexander hanging over me.

I sat down on a bench and called Spider. I’d reached a point that I didn’t care that he’d side-stepped me all week. I needed him. He was all I had.

He answered on the fifth ring, right before his voicemail kicked in.

“What up?” he said, and I heard the wariness in his tone.

“Can’t I just call?”

He sighed, and I heard fluttering in the background like clothes flapping around. “I’m getting in my car to go out.”

I gripped my phone. “You have plans?” It was Friday night.

“Yeah.”

“Bathroom girl?” I asked, feeling a tad jealous. I hadn’t been with a guy since October. My ballet partner Jacques had been the last, and I’d used his body frequently to erase the image of Cuba from my mind. Then one day he’d stopped calling me because he’d gotten serious with another girl. I’d barely noticed.

“Dovey,” Spider groaned, like he was irritated. “Do you really want to know the details of my sex life?”

“Just forget it,” I mumbled and hung up.

Why did I care if he had someone? Didn’t everyone?
I had ballet.

I stared at my phone thinking he might call me back, but it didn’t ring. I called Heather-Lynn and Sarah, and they were out running errands and planned on seeing a movie later. They asked me to go, but I declined, saying I was tired. It wasn’t a lie. But I was lying to them about the whole Alexander thing, and it was putting a strain on me. After a few minutes of checking Facebook, I rose up and headed to the parking lot.

But then my day brightened.

Spider’s Range Rover was parked next to mine, the motor running. He must have driven like a maniac from the dorms to get here.

He rolled down the driver’s side window, and even though I was ticked, I couldn’t stop the grin that spread across my face as I checked out his
I’m ready to party look
.

“You’re gonna freeze,” I snarked, indicating his neon-blue mesh shirt.

He stuck out his tongue, flashing his stud.

“And you’re wearing eyeliner. Billy Idol as I live and breathe,” I said.

He stared humming a bar from
White Wedding
, and some of the weirdness between us melted away.

“Get in,” he said, “and I’ll sing the rest of it.”

I tossed my dance bag in his car and crawled in from the cold.

“Now, tell me what stick’s been up your arse all week,” he said, pulling out of the BA parking lot.

I sent him a glare. Seriously? He was the one who’d avoided me.

And maybe I should have kept my mouth shut right then. Maybe I should have lied to him like I had Cuba.

But I was exhausted.

And honestly—and this was completely irrational—I wanted his damn attention.

You asked for it, buddy
.

“Long story short, I gotta sell these eight-balls, but I can’t because I’m afraid I’ll make someone an addict or kill them if they overdose, or I could go to prison or hold that thought…
I could go to prison
.”

His eyes flared. He cursed, threw on the brakes, and we slid on the slick pavement, fishtailing and narrowly missing a guard rail. I clutched my seat as he finally gained control and pulled into an I Hop parking lot. I waited for him to detonate. Five, four, three, two…

“What the bloody hell are you on about?” he yelled, slamming the car in park. “This has to be a joke because you would not be that daft.”

I snapped. “You have no idea what’s been going on with me because you’ve had your face stuck up whoever you’re screwing this month. So just stop. You’re still mad at me because I—I don’t know what’s going on between us.” I totally did.

He sighed, his anger evaporating. “Shit. I had no idea you were in trouble, Dovey.”

I picked at the zipper on my gym bag.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

I took a breath. “Sarah owes money to the wrong people. To pay them back, they want me to get a foothold in selling coke to BA kids for them. I have to sell it by tomorrow or pay what she borrowed.”

“How much?” he asked, the talk of drugs and loan sharks not really surprising him like I thought it would.

I dug my teeth into my bottom lip. “Stop, Spider. I won’t let you help me.”

“What? I have money. You think I can’t do without for you?”

I shook my head. “No, I know you would, but I don’t want you involved with my problems. These are dangerous people.”

He shrugged. “I have five thousand in my account right now. It’s yours. I can live on my credit card the rest of the month.”

Oh, Spider
. He meant it, I could tell, and maybe paying down the debt might work with a regular loan shark—and how weird is that phrase—but with Alexander, it wasn’t entirely about the money. He wanted an in at BA. And my instincts said he wanted to test me, his own daughter.

“It’s not enough,” I said. “He wants the full amount.”

His hand went to my nape, softly rubbing, and I scooted over and lay my head on his chest, inhaling his expensive cologne. I sighed heavily, feeling emotional.

“It’s worth a shot,” he said. “I can go to the bank tomorrow, and it might hold them off for a bit.” He paused. “Or, I can sell the drugs for you?”

I pulled back so I could see his face. “That is the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me,” I said, trying to be funny, “but, I can’t drag you down. What if you went to prison? This is my problem, my mess.”

“Let me help,” he said, his fingers kneading my shoulders and massaging. I groaned at his touch. I’d missed him.

Would five thousand hold Alexander off
?

“If—if you’re absolutely sure, I’ll take the money. I promise to pay you back as soon as we sell our house.” Add him to the list.

“I don’t care if you ever pay me back, Dovey.” He tipped my chin up and gazed into my eyes, and I blinked. Whoa.

He continued. “My bank opens at ten. I can grab the cash and then meet you at your house? We can pay them together.”

“I’ll take the cash, but you are not coming with me,” I said emphatically, feeling panicky. “This is all on me, okay? And I’m not changing my mind, so leave it be.”

He didn’t look happy. “Fine,” he muttered and pulled back out into the main road.

I stared out the window as we headed to the center of town, feeling off-kilter, needing some semblance of normal.

“What’s on the agenda tonight? Am I keeping you from a date?” I asked.

“No. I want you to give us a chance, Dovey.”

This already? “What do you mean?” I asked, knowing full well.

He flicked his eyes at me. “You and me, we click. You know I’m crazy, and you still like me, and I know my accent gets you hot.”

I popped him in the arm, and he laughed.

“Ouch. Why you’d do that?”

“Because we’re friends and anything else would ruin in.” I made my voice light.

“What are you afraid of with us, Dovey?”

“Is this a stipulation on your loan?” I said. “You wanna pay me for a date? Like a whore?”

His nose flared. “I’m not an arsehole, Dovey. And if you really believe that, then you’re a bitch. ”

Yeah.

“All I want is a chance. We’ve been faffing around the possibility, so don’t deny you haven’t thought about it.”

I twisted my lips, feeling like he was putting too much pressure on me, just after he’d offered me money and I’d accepted. The silence bloomed bigger and bigger between us, and I just wanted it to end. I wanted my Spider back.