Very Bad Things (29 page)

A muscle ticked in Leo’s jaw as he ran his eyes over Drew,
lingering on the bedding. His shoulders slumped, and he swiveled his head back
to peer at me, a desolate expression in his eyes.

“Leo, tell me what you wanted to say,” I whispered.

A Dallas police car also skidded to a stop in front of the
gym. I stood there, lifeless, while Leo shook his head and gently set me out of
his arms. He walked across the street to meet the officers.

“Wait,” I said.

He didn’t turn around. Whatever he’d been about to say, he’d
changed his mind.

THE POLICE SEARCHED for Finn that
night. They told me I had to come downtown to fill out paperwork, but I
refused. I needed time to decide if I was going to tell everything that had
happened to me. The police in Houston were contacted, and they reported that
Finn had lost the lease to his condo a few weeks earlier. He’d also been fired
from the law firm where he worked. No one had seen or heard from him since he’d
showed up at the shop. I assumed the police had contacted my parents. My dad
had tried to call me a few times, but I wasn’t ready to talk yet.

I wasn’t ready to sleep at the shop, so I stayed with Aunt
Portia at her apartment in Dallas even though it took me an hour to drive
through rush hour to get to BA.

I continued with life. What else could I do?

Three days after Finn had shown up, a pale Aunt Portia
greeted me as I walked in the shop after school.

“I need to talk to you,” she said to me, steering me past
the late lunch customers and into the kitchen.

“Come here and sit,” she said, attempting a small smile, but
it wasn’t her usual perky one. She sat down and I sat stiffly across from her.
She took both my hands in hers, and it was then that I
knew
, oh yes, I
truly knew something had happened. A cold sweat broke out over me, and my mouth
dried.

“Your brother . . .,” she began, but stopped.

“Tell me.”

She sighed. “There’s no easy way to say this, but there was
a pile-up on Interstate 10 near Houston. Your brother . . . Finn’s car . . . crashed
into an eighteen wheeler. It caught fire…”

“He’s dead?”

She nodded and mumbled something about policemen and dental
records and my parents, but it didn’t make sense. Her voice kept swelling and
expanding, and I couldn’t understand anything she said. Needing to be grounded,
I lay my head down on the cold table, letting the hard surface support me. I
heard her saying my name over and over until, blessedly, I heard nothing at all.

IN THE DAYS that followed Finn’s
death, I moved in a numb daze, and it reminded me of the sad girl I used to be.
I had obligations, so I called my parents. Dad made plans to meet me for
breakfast before the funeral. Mother refused to speak to me. I was good with
that. I did happen to catch her
Good Morning, Dallas
show the next day.
She appeared on camera in a soft-blue suit, teary eyed, yet as beautiful as
ever as she announced the death of her son. That’s her, always milking it,
looking for an angle to help her climb to the top of the network’s ladder.

Dad came to Aunt Portia’s before the funeral, and we went
back to the kitchen to eat. We sat on the counter, eating hot cinnamon buns and
drinking coffee, our legs dangling as we talked. When we were done, he
surprised me by opening his briefcase and giving me the papers to sign that
would put my prize money in my name.

“I’m proud of you for having the balls to leave,” he told
me, his eyes watery. “I know there’s a rift between us, but I do love you.”

I studied his sad face. “Did you ever say anything to Mother
about what I told you?”

He nodded. “She denies it all.”

“And you still believe me?”

He paled. “God, of course, Nora.”

I nodded. “Did you confront Finn?”

His lips tightened. “I told the motherfucker if he came near
you again, I’d stab him myself.” He shrugged. “He’s dead now. We need to move
on.”

I bit my lip, scared to hope. Maybe there was a chance for
me and him after all.

HIS FUNERAL SHOCKED me, I guess
because death always takes us by surprise, especially when it’s a young person.
We think we’re invincible, but we’re not. One way or another, we’re all placed
six feet under. It made me even more determined to live the rest of my life as
a happy person.

Was I glad that Finn was gone? Yes. We’re taught that
forgiveness is good for your soul, so some will say I’m going to hell for my
unwillingness, but neither Finn nor Mother would ever get absolution from me.

I’m no Mother Teresa.

Drew, Sebastian, Mila, and Leo all came to the funeral, but
Leo was the person I gazed at. As I drank him in, I thought about how easily
life can be snuffed out, never to be lived again. I thought about how Leo had
lost his parents in the blink of an eye. And it sounded so cliché, but life
is
precious, and we only get one shot at it. So when the minister started talking
about living life to its fullest, I realized I hadn’t. I’d been living day to
day, always stuck looking at the past, just trying to survive.

I didn’t want to coast by anymore.

I wanted some fucking happiness.

As I sat in that cathedral, it dawned on me, an
extraordinary moment when I realized that being happy could be a
choice
,
not some elusive state of euphoria that few ever achieve. I didn’t want to
spend a lifetime waiting for happiness to find me. It was never going to come
knocking on my door, inviting me to come out and play.

It was up to
me
to decide if I wanted to live a bleak
existence, constantly thinking about what had happened to me, or I could make a
conscious decision to be happy now, to be grateful for what I had. To live. To
love.

I was responsible for my own happiness.

If there was something out there that made me happy, it was
up to me to go get it.

I knew exactly what I wanted.

“I’m
breaking out of this cage.

It
begins today.”

–
Nora
Blakely

THREE DAYS LATER, Halloween and the
big grand opening party at Club Vita finally arrived.

It was cool at night now, so Leo rented several standing gas
heaters for the patio. The party rental place had set up a huge white tent next
to the back parking lot and adjacent to the pool. Inside the tent, Tiffani set
up the main bar, the buffet tables, and seating. She’d also set up two bar
areas that were close to the pool. With over three hundred people coming, it
was going to be huge.

Earlier that morning, the band had sat down and talked about
the performance. We hadn’t even chosen a name yet so that became imperative.
After a lot of laughs, we went with Teddy’s suggestion, the Vital Rejects. Leo
suggested he only play the second set since he would be busy making sure the
party got off to a great start. Sebastian could play guitar although he wasn’t
as skilled as Leo, so we decided to focus on predominately piano centered
songs.

Leo seemed nervous, and I wanted to assure him it would be
awesome, but Tiffani was flitting in and out of the party area. As he conferred
with Tiffani about last minutes details, we set up our instruments and
spotlights.

After a quick run through with the band, I was back in my
attic room with Mila getting dressed. She grunted and squirmed as she lay on
the bed, tugging on her tight leather pants. I chuckled, watching her red face.
I still couldn’t believe she’d chosen such a racy costume. “Everything okay?”

She snorted and yanked harder, finally getting them zipped.
“Gah, dressing as Lady Gaga sucks!”

I tsked at her pants. “And there’re gonna make your butt
sweat.”

She heaved herself up, her black-clad legs looking stiff and
uncomfortable. “That’s a good point, but they’re on, so I’m never taking them
off. There.”

I picked my Wonder Woman costume up, not missing the irony
of dressing as an Amazon. As I dressed, Mila looked at my tat with big eyes.
“Go ahead,” I teased her, “I know you wanna touch it.”

“You got your own set of wings!” she squealed, happier than
I thought she would be. She ran her fingers across them.

“And I didn’t die of ink poisoning.”

She arched her brow. “Could have.”

I pulled on the red thigh-high boots and picked up my Lasso
of Truth. Mila helped me tease my hot-rolled hair into a 60s style bouffant,
and I adjusted her platinum wig and black corset. I put my gold cuffs and crown
on. She slid on her bedazzled sunglasses.

“We look like hookers,” I mused at our reflection. “And not
the expensive kind.”

“Yep,” she said.

I laughed and gave her a little hug, feeling excited about
what I’d planned.

“Now don’t mess up my hair,” she said. She looked at her ass
in the mirror and shook it. I snickered. My bunny was turning bad.

VITAL REJECTS OPENED the party with
some cover songs from Cold Play and Kings of Leon. Sebastian, who’d dressed as
the floppy haired Justin Beiber belted out lyrics and played the easier guitar
parts. He told me I was eye candy and had worked too hard to not be on stage,
so he forced me up with the band, where I pretended to sing backup into the
microphone. It wasn’t plugged in.

This was Teddy’s first time to play in front of a large
crowd, and he’d had started off anxiously, pacing around the piano, flapping
his arms more than usual. His sister assured us he would be fine once he began
playing, and sure enough, once his fingers hit the keys, he calmed. He rocked
the crowd with his piano skills, wearing a white Elvis costume. Vixen played
the drums dressed in a cheetah costume.

We were missing Leo.

I’d glimpsed him briefly as soon as I’d arrived, dressed as
a tall, strapping gladiator. I’d smiled at him, and he’d just stood there
staring at me until Tiffani had walked up and grabbed his arm. He’d pulled away
from her, and their conversation seemed intense. Later as we’d performed, I’d
seen him standing alone with a pensive look on his face, and I wondered what he
was thinking about.

We took our first break and milled around the party
eventually ending up by the buffet table. Mila came over to join us.

“Tell me about Drew,” Sebastian said as he checked out the
appetizers.

“We talked for a long time, and I told him that Leo was it
for me.”

“And?” he asked, popping a shrimp in his mouth.

“He said he understood, but I know it hurt him. It hurt me,
too,” I admitted, remembering our long talk the night before. He’d walked away
from me, but not before telling me that I was making a mistake. “But Leo is
it
for me.”

“Do you think he’ll take you back if things don’t work out
with Leo?” Mila asked.

I laughed darkly. “Um, no.”

“We’ll all be at UT together,” Sebastian pointed out.

“Hey, I need your help tonight,” I asked him, changing the
subject. “Tonight, when you’re singing, will you ask Leo to sing the new song
he’s been working on?”

“You sure?” he said, raising his brows. He’d heard Leo
practicing the song. We spent an entire evening talking about it.

I nodded.

Mila squeaked, “Incoming, incoming, super-slutty nurse
arriving in three, two, one.”

Tiffani stopped in front of us. She gave us a huge smile.
“Enjoying the party, guys?” she asked, her eyes on me.

“We were,” I said cattily. I briefly wondered if she’d ever
told Leo about me. I wondered what her reaction was when she realized he
already knew.

She fluttered her eyelashes at Sebastian. “So what’s Leo
making us for breakfast in the morning?”

He shrugged uncomfortably. “No idea. I didn’t realize you’d
be around to eat with us.”

“Leo doesn’t tell you everything, silly! Maybe we’ll just
sleep in and skip breakfast,” she giggled, her big chest quivering. Then she
gave me a smirk and flounced off.

“Maybe she really is psychic,” I said.

Sebastian snorted. “No way.”

“She knows I love Leo.”

He elbowed me. “Dude, we all know. Just ignore her. She’s
not once spent the night at the loft. Come on, let’s go get Leo. We’ve got some
songs to do.”

A few minutes later, the band, plus Leo, took the stage, and
I sat at a table with Mila. They opened with “Great Balls of Fire,” and Teddy
attacked the piano like Elvis on crack. He was fantastic. I saw him glance up
at one point, and his eyes met mine for the tiniest little second, and I knew
he’d wanted me to see him. “Play it, Teddy!” I yelled out, smiling and waving
at him like a rabid King fan. After that they played Warren Zeron’s “Werewolves
of London,”
and Mila and I ran out to dance. We twirled around, howling
and singing the chorus with everyone else.

“Welcome to Club Vita’s grand opening and Halloween party!”
Sebastian yelled out to the crowd after the song was over. “Now, I’d like to
slow things down a bit by letting my older brother here sing a song for you.”

He looked over his shoulder at Leo’s surprised face and
grinned. “Ladies, Leo has a voice like a dream. Now, he doesn’t know this, but
I heard him working on this fantastic new song recently, and I think he should
play it for you, don’t you? I know there’s one girl out there in particular
that requested it.”

Someone yelled, “Hell, yeah, sing it, Leo!” It sounded a lot
like Mila.

Sebastian chuckled. “Now, he can be a little shy sometimes,
so we may have to give him some encouragement to get him to sing.” Several
whistles and catcalls drifted up from the crowd.

Leo strode over to Sebastian, his face tight. I didn’t know
if he was going to tell him to shut the hell up or sing. They whispered
heatedly for a moment until Sebastian stepped aside to let Leo have the center
mike.

“I’ll be paying you back later, bro,” he said jokingly with
a smile for the crowd, but I could tell he was flustered as he straightened his
guitar and searched the audience. I pushed my way to the front of the crowd
until I was right in front of him.

He gazed at me and cleared his throat. “The truth is I never
intended for this song to be sung in public, because I wrote it for this girl .
. . and, she . . . well, she’s moved on. She was the
one
for me, but I
screwed it up because I waited too long, and she found someone else. It hurts
like hell to think about her, about never having her as mine.”

He ran a fast hand through his hair. “She makes me all
crazy
inside. She makes me hear songs in my head. She makes me feel like the first
time I ever picked up a guitar. She makes me feel like I can have something
good in my life like my parents did.”

He smiled, like he was remembering something sweet. “I don’t
know the first time I fell for her. Maybe it was the time she stood on a stage
a lot like this one. Maybe it was the night she held my hand and listened to me
talk. Maybe it was the moment she walked toward me at the movies, in these red
heels, looking like the hottest thing I’d ever fucking seen. Maybe it was the
time she told me we could be soulmates. Whenever it was, my heart is hers.
Always has been. So yeah, this song is for Buttercup
.
It’s called
‘Fly
Away.’”

His fingers strummed the notes as he sang in a low and sexy
voice,

Girl,
you show up at my place uninvited,

You’re
crazy good, beautiful.

Baby,
I tried, but I can’t fight it.

Girl,
you got some bad secrets to keep,

You’re
a chaos I want; it’s so deep.

I
want to see you fly, fly, fly.

Could
you love me, love me, love me,

Do
it, please, fall for me.

Baby,
give me one more moment,

Just
one more moment with you.

Girl,
you love words for fun,

You’re
crazy good, beautiful.

Your
green eyes brought out the sun.

I
want to see you fly, fly, fly.

First
time I saw you I knew,

You
took my heart; you stole it, true,

Now,
it’s just déjà vue.

Give
me one more moment,

To
love you, love you.

I
want to see you fly, fly, fly.

Buttercup,
I’ll always love you.

After the last note ebbed away, I wiped my tears with my
hands while the crowd went nuts, applauding a shaken Leo. He whipped his guitar
off, stepped off the stage and strode over to me. I couldn’t move. His words
had transported me, had wiped everything else out of my head. All I could think
about was him, always him.
Leo.

He touched one of my tears and spoke, his voice husky with
emotion.
“Nora, I fought you and me together, and it
decimates
me
knowing I messed up, that I didn’t even give us a chance. It was all right
there in front of me, plain as day, but I kept pushing and pushing until you
gave up. The hardest thing I’ve ever done is pretend I didn’t care for you.”