Very Bad Things (24 page)

He said, “It was first recorded by Jerry Lee Lewis at Sun
Studios in Memphis, Tennessee in 1957,” he informed me. “And in 1986 it was
used in the movie
Top Gun
when Anthony Edwards played it on piano and
then he and Tom Cruise sang together. Anthony Edwards dies in that movie. I
like Tom Cruise.”

I smiled and agreed. Then, I sat and watched him play it
back for me.

By six o’clock we had finished, and all of us complained of
being hungry. Since it was Friday night, Sebastian and I made plans to hang out
at Gilligan’s, a nightspot that played live music, sometimes good and sometimes
bad, but always served a mean hamburger.

Leo listened to us as he straightened up the music room.

Sebastian asked him, “Where are you and Tiffani going
tonight?”

“I’m going to a sushi place downtown,” he told us, fiddling
with his guitar.
Did his comment mean they weren’t together anymore?

None of us spoke, and the silence grew longer and longer as
the three of us stood there uncomfortably. My thoughts were centered on Leo and
his sushi plans and maybe-date with Tiffani; Sebastian was probably worried
about my reaction to Leo, and who the hell knew what Leo was thinking.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. “I gotta go change. Can
you pick me up in an hour?” I asked Sebastian.

He gave me a thumbs up. “Gotcha.”

“Great,” I said, gathering up my purse and sheet music.

“Have fun,” Leo said with a tight face as I walked by.

“Ditch your sushi plans and come with us,” I said stopping
in front of him, biting my cheek at the words I hadn’t meant to say.

He stiffened, his eyes bouncing from me to Sebastian. “No
can do. Already made plans.”

I nodded, and Sebastian walked me to the door. “Don’t let
him bring you down, okay?”

“Love’s a bitch,” I said.

“Fuck
you perfectionism. Without you, I am brilliant.”

–
Coco
J. Ginger

THERE WAS A crowd already at the
door of Gilligan’s, so we had to stand in line to go inside. Apparently, every
high school kid and college student had had the same idea we did.

“There’s Emma,” Sebastian said, surreptitiously pointing at
a group a few feet in front of us. She was wearing stilettos, a purple mini
skirt, and a sequined pink shirt. She and her crew were flirting with one of
the bouncers who walked down the line checking IDs, and as we watched, Emma let
out a girlish squeal at something one of them said.

“She’s kinda hot in a sleazy way,” Sebastian said with a
shrug as his gaze ran over her.
What the hell?
I arched my brows and
flicked a glance at Mila to see if she’d heard his betrayal. She was glaring at
him like she wanted to smack him.

“Please, her life’s ambition is to star in a future 50 Cent
video. And years from now, when I’m a doctor and rich, and she’s got herpes . .
. maybe I’ll help her,” Mila said with a snort.

“Mila, if we were bros, I’d totally fistbump you right now,”
I said, laughing. Mean Mila was funny.

“Do you think it keeps her up at night, thinking about her
boyfriend screwing her best friend?” Sebastian asked.

“If it does, she doesn’t want anyone to know. She’s too
proud,” I said, watching Emma. “She’s got secrets, too, just like everyone
else.”

“Secrets or not, she looks like a normal bitch to me,” Mila
piped in. “I got no sympathy for her. She’s been cruel and hateful to us both
for years. Cry me a river.”

I snorted at the word
normal
. If you looked it up in
the Webster’s Dictionary, you’d find twenty-two different meanings and two
parts of speech. Hey, there’s even a town in the Midwest called Normal,
Illinois, population approximately 52,772.

But all those meanings aside, to most people, normal means
being average in everything: intelligence, looks, personality, and of course,
emotional adjustment.

I am
not
normal, and I doubted Emma was.

Was it possible that Emma had her own dark secrets that made
her the mean person she was? Yeah, sure, but I still didn’t like her.

Once we got inside, Sebastian was impressed with the
interior of the club, which had a stage area for the bands and a dance floor.
The owner had gone for an island theme with sharks and stingrays that swam
through coral in a long fish tank behind the bar. We made a plan to talk to the
owner soon about the band playing here.

We went to the bar. While he was ordering our sodas, my
phone buzzed, and I saw it was Drew. He’d mentioned wanting to call me outside
BA when Leo had been there, and he’d tried several times, but I hadn’t been
ready to talk to him. Truthfully, I’d been more responsive to him in the
parking lot than I’d intended. Most of that had been for Leo’s benefit.

--I didn’t see you at the debate meeting. I heard you
quit. True?

I replied,

--Yes.

He texted,

--
Why?

I typed out,

--Long story. I quit student council and yearbook too
.

He wrote back,

--
Interesting
.
Can you talk?

I looked around the busy club and wrote,

--No.

He texted,

--Are you wearing a green dress and a pair of sexy cowboy
boots?

I wrote back,

--FYI, stalking is a crime in Texas.

He texted,

--It’s not stalking if you happen to be in the same place
at the same time. Look behind you.

I turned around to see him standing at the entrance of the
club, his smile directed at me. Not sure what else to do, I waved him over, and
we all found a booth. Drew slid in beside Sebastian, and Mila sat beside me
with raised brows. Yeah, she knew all about New York.

When the guys started talking about football at BA, she took
her phone out. I knew what was coming.

She texted,

--I thought you were done with him. You gonna hit that
again? I hear the girlfriend is gone for good.

I replied,

--Shut it, Mila.

She wrote,

--He’s got big hands. And feet. Wonder what else is big.

I texted,

--Your mouth
.

She replied with,

--
Don’t look, but
he’s staring at you!

I shook my head and ignored her, refusing to look up to see
if he really was. We’d been talking a little in class each day, and I knew he’d
been trying hard to make up for what had happened back in January. I’d said as
much to Mila.

After a few minutes of chatting, Sebastian grabbed Mila’s
hand and tugged her up out of the booth. ‘Come on, sweet thing, let’s go dance.
I want you to show me how to do the two-step or that boot, scoot, boogie
thing.”

They wandered off, her giggling at something he said while
he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Drew gave me a lingering look. “Is it okay if I sit beside
you?” he asked.

I nodded, and he slid in next to me. “So I saw you called?”

The waitress came by with a soda for him, and he took a
quick sip. “Yeah, several times. I wanted to talk to you about debate, get you
to sign back up. With you gone, I got no competition,” he said with a grin.

I told him that I needed a break. I told him about moving
out and working at the gym. I tried to explain without giving too much away,
and he seemed to get it.

After a while, he took a deep breath like he was nervous.
“Nora, that’s not the only reason I called you. We started a conversation in
Cal class a while back, and I want to finish it.”

“Okay,” I said, playing with my straw.

“I want to say that what happened in January was
wrong
.
I never should have let us go that far when I wasn’t sure of my feelings for
Lori. It’s just that I couldn’t resist you that weekend. It’s like we got away
from BA, and you became more alive than I’d ever seen you.”

I nodded, remembering. Getting away from Mother and her
reach had spurred something inside me in New York.

His fingers reached for mine. “I want you to go out with me,
and I don’t mean like that night in New York. I mean like a real date where I
come pick you up and take you somewhere nice. I want to get to know the real
you. We’ve always known each other, but there’s more to you than just the girl
I see at school.” He looked down at our joined hands. “There’s always been a
spark between us. I want to see where it leads.”

He seemed sincere. But could I really forgive him for
dumping me?

And then I thought about Leo.

I thought about Tiffani.

I thought about her feeding him raw fish at some swanky
restaurant downtown.

Maybe second choice was all I’d ever be.

“I’d love to,” I said and he smiled.

Sebastian and Mila came back and coerced us out to the dance
floor. While we danced, I saw Emma dancing with Matt. Rumor was they were back
together, and I assumed they were since his hands were plastered to her ass. I
remembered our dance and what had happened after.

By midnight we’d decided to go home, and Drew walked me
outside. “Pick you up next weekend at Portia’s Pastries? We can talk in class
about where you want to go,” he said, leaning back against the side of
Sebastian’s car and pulling me to stand between his legs. Even in my heeled
cowboy boots, he was taller than me, our bodies fitting together perfectly.

I nodded.

He stared down at me and cradled my face. “I want to kiss
you, but I’m not sure you want me to,” he said softly, his thumbs stroking the
sides of my face.

He let his fingers drift down my cheek. “I’ve been sitting
next to you in Cal class for weeks, wanting to tell you I’m sorry for
everything. But most of all, I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

My stomach fluttered. At least being second choice means I’m
still chosen. “Then kiss me.”

He tilted my face, and ever so gently, he pressed his lips
to mine and kissed me the way I remembered. Soft and slow and sweet; it was
very good.

“This
was no lukewarm, vanilla feeling.”

–
Leo
Tate

DAYS PASSED. I worked. We had band
practice.

Sebastian and I were back to the usual, working out
together, playing music, talking about football. He’d helped me plan the
birthday dinner for Nora. And while I’d been baking her cake and making a damn
mess all over the place, he’d watched me quizzically the entire time, like he
thought I’d lost my mind.

Maybe I have.

His profession of love for Nora made me livid, and I hated
it. I did my best to push it to the back of my mind and pretend that I didn’t
care. What was wrong with me, to be mad at my baby brother? I wanted to yell at
him every time he gave her a little smile or sent her a concerned look or
rubbed her back. And it wasn’t just Sebastian either. I’d even given Teddy the
evil eye at band practice when he’d sat too close to her at the piano.

Fuck jealousy.

A knock came from my office door. I glanced at my watch. It
was two, which meant it could be Nora. I hadn’t really talked to her in the
past few days, and I got excited at the prospect of seeing her alone for once.

“Come in,” I said.

Sebastian walked in, but before he shut the door, he glanced
back and sent a quick look out at the front desk where Nora sat.

“What?” I asked, my temper flaring.

Sebastian chuckled. “Feeling pissy today, bro?”

Why the hell was me being in a shitty mood funny? “You come
in here for a reason? I got work to do, so get to it.” I motioned at a seat.

“Fine,” he said, taking a seat in one of the leather
loungers. He crossed his arms, opened his mouth to speak but then closed it,
shaking his head, like he’d changed his mind.

“Talk, Sebastian,” I said, thumping a pen against the desk.
“I don’t have all day.”

He sighed. “Nora . . . and I . . . we have a serious
problem.”

I straightened up as my stomach plummeted. “What kind of
problem?” I asked with barely controlled rage, the first thing running through
my mind was Nora being pregnant with Sebastian’s baby. I held my hands under
the desk so he couldn’t see my clenched fists. Agony ripped through me at the
thought of her big with his baby, and I forced myself to stay calm and not
react the way I wanted to, which was to jerk him up and beat the shit out of
him. And I didn’t want to do that. Not really. He was all I had.

But, I couldn’t stop my imagination from going crazy when I
pictured Nora happy and smiling with a child, her child. And envy gnawed at me.
Wondering what it would be like if she belonged to
me
, I pictured these
possible fragments of my future, where I took care of her, where I made love to
her everyday, where we got married, where she delivered
our
precious
babies.

And those fake, future memories . . . the beauty of it took
my breath away.

I startled at the suddenness of my realization, recognizing
it for the
truth
that it was. What had I given up when I told her we
would never be? Had I lost my only chance at real happiness when I’d rejected
her?

I grappled with my emotions, not sure what to call it or how
to describe it.

Was it love?

No, that didn’t cut it. This was no lukewarm, vanilla
feeling. It was a madness, making me feel like a weak-kneed boy on his first
date, like I had fucking
butterflies
in my stomach when I pictured her
face. She consumed me, my head, my heart, my skin, my blood, my muscles,
everything aching for the physical touch of her body against mine. I’d had an
inkling of what we could be at the open house; at the movies, I’d realized that
she could be mine if I let her; now I knew I’d made a mistake.

Did this mean she was my soulmate? Because she held my
gutless piece-of-shit heart in her hands; because I thought I would die if I
never got to kiss her again?

Yeah.

I felt the beginnings of a splitting headache and wished for
a good bottle of whiskey.

“Leo?” he asked, bringing me back. “Dude, you alright?”

“Just tell me. Get it over with.”

He squirmed. “She’s got this guy sending her texts,” he said
and stopped, not elaborating.

“Cuba?” I bit out unsure whether to be relieved or angry
Nora was sleeping with some other guy. Or maybe both?

Sebastian must have seen the conflict on my face, because he
sputtered. “Jesus . . . someone . . . I can’t say who . . . keeps sending her
texts and trying to scare her.”

“Scare?” I rose up from my desk and braced my arms on top.
“How?”

His face whitened.

I rapped my fist against the hard wood of the desk. “Tell
me, Sebastian.”

He stood and backed toward the door, his eyes wary. “This
was a really bad idea. I’m breaking Nora’s confidence, and I shouldn’t have.
It’s not a big deal anyway.” He ran his eyes over me dismissively. “I’ll
protect her.”

“Yeah, because you love her, right? You guys gonna go steady
now? Get married someday? I hope you’re using protection, Sebastian.”

He let a small smile slip out, like he had a secret.

“What’s with the smile?” I snapped.

“We use protection, don’t worry,” he said, his eyes trained
on my face as blood drained from it.

I swallowed painfully and closed my eyes, trying to get the
mental picture of them together out of my head.

He snorted. “We don’t have sex, Leo. You’re so stupid, man.
And you’re right, I do love her. Like a
sister
.”