Very Bad Things (18 page)

Sebastian tossed her the keys. “You drive. I’m gonna sit
back here with Nora,” he said. He opened the back door, let me in and then slid
in beside me, our wet clothes sticking to the blue leather interior. Mila
started the car and turned up Pink in the CD player as we headed back to Club
Vita.

“Leo told me about your list,” he said, picking up my cold
hands and rubbing them with his. “And maybe it’s none of my business, but I
like you, and I can’t keep my mouth shut about this. I don’t want you to waste
your time on loser guys like Cuba or Matt. You’re only going to cause yourself
more heartache if you fuck around with them. Save yourself for the one person
who will treasure you. And there is someone out there for you, I know it.
Someone who will steal your heart and love you right back. Only you.”

I sighed at the thought of someone who would choose me. “You
think there’s a guy who will love
me
?” I smirked at him. “I’ve got some
problems, and you’ve only seen the tip of the ice-berg. My crazy goes deep.”

“You’re not crazy; you’re going through some emotional shit.
And yes, there is someone out there for you,” he murmured and squeezed my
hands.

I scoffed. “You make love sound so easy.”

“When it’s real, it is.”

“Didn’t realize you were such a philosopher.”

“Leo’s young, but he’s a great dad,” he said with a smile.

I nodded. “Okay, let me ask you this: do you believe in love
at first sight and soulmates?” I asked, needing another person’s input on what
had been brewing in my head since I’d seen Leo at the movies.

“Nah . . . maybe . . . I don’t know. It’s kinda scary to
think you only have one person out there who’s your perfect fit. I mean, what
if they’re married already or gay or pick their nose in public?”

“Ew, Sebastian!”

“Or, or, wait for it: what if they have a job shoveling
elephant dung or what if they’re European and don’t believe in bathing?”

I laughed.

“Or, what if they lived in Antarctica? No way could I live
in an igloo. I like my sunshine and Cowboys too much,” he said.

I piped up. “Oh, oh, I got one. What if your soulmate was a
Redskins fan?”

Sebastian made a gagging sound and grabbed his chest.
“You’re breaking my heart.”

We sat there for a minute, both of us lost in thought, until
he said, “
Maybe
it’s possible. I think my parents had it. What about
you?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I believe in soulmates, but it’s up to us
what we do with it.”

“Have you ever had a moment you thought could be love at
first sight?” he asked with a sly grin, like he already knew the answer.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“Are you going to tell me who it was with?” he teased,
arching his brows at me.

“It wasn’t Cuba or Matt,” I said wryly, turning to look out
the window as we passed my house. The lights were still on. Odd.

“I tried to be with Cuba, but in the end I couldn’t,” I
said, sighing.

“You couldn’t because of Leo,” he said. “I was there the day
you guys saw each other, and Leo looked like he’d been hit by a two-by-four. I
couldn’t see your face that day, but I see you now. You never stop watching
him, Nora.”

My heart stuttered, and I stopped breathing for a moment.

“He’s the one you had a moment with. He’s the one for you,
Nora.”

I nodded weakly, not able to stop the tears that ran down my
face. He pulled me over to him and gave me a gentle hug. “It’s okay, Nora.”

After a while, he scrubbed my head with his knuckles like
I’d seen Leo do to him.

I pulled back to look at his kind face. “I wish you’d been
my family,” I whispered, the emotional upheaval of the night catching up with
me. “I wish you’d been my brother.”

He nodded. “If I’d ever had a sister, I’d want one just like
you, Buttercup.”

“You
gotta know when it’s time to turn the page.”

–
Nora
Blakely

WHEN WE GOT to the gym, Mila got in
her car to go home. Sebastian insisted I come in and crash on their sofa since
I was still buzzing from the shots. I agreed. He left me downstairs while he
grabbed some towels from the linen closet to dry off his leather seats. When he
went back outside, I headed upstairs to his room to change into some of his
clothes.

I walked down the hall as Leo came out of his bedroom with
his arm wrapped around Tiffani’s shoulders. Her fingers clutched the belt loops
on his jeans, like she owned him. As I watched, she smiled up at him, looking
pleased. Then Leo kissed her, just like he’d done with me earlier. Her hands roamed
all over his back, pressing him close. She moaned a little as the kiss went on
and on.

It. Broke. Me.

I stood there stunned, scanning my eyes over her mussed hair
and inside out shirt. I closed my eyes, wishing I could scrub the memory from
my brain. And as the truth of it sunk in, that he had fucked her right after
kissing me, I felt demolished, like a bus that I’d never seen coming had
collided with me.
Bam!

I wanted to make myself disappear and pretend it had never
happened. I didn’t want to remember the way her lips had clung to his, the way
he’d kissed her back.

Our kiss had meant nothing to him.

When I opened my eyes, they were facing me, and Tiffani was
staring, a satisfied smile on her face. “Oh! I’m sorry, we didn’t know you were
back already,” she giggled, her eyes dancing.

I licked my lips and tried to catch my breath, feeling
physically winded. I pressed my hand to my chest to rub away the pain that had
settled there. I wanted to say something smart, but I couldn’t find my voice,
and it felt a lot like when I was up on stage at the open house. Like the
spotlight was on me, and I was losing it. Like there was a hush in the room,
and all eyes were on me. But this wasn’t a panic attack; no, this was only my
heart being shattered into a million tiny pieces, and I imagined that if I
could hear it, it would sound a lot like Mother’s china as I’d smashed it. I
swallowed and somehow managed to laugh, but it came out mangled.

Leo spoke. “Nora?”

I found my voice, barely, and it came out dull and lifeless.
“Sorry, I didn’t . . . I didn’t mean to interrupt your after-you’ve-fucked
goodbye kiss.”

She gasped and turned to look at an ashen-faced Leo, like
she expected him to chastise me, but he was frozen, his jaw clenched tight as
he stared at my face.

Numb, like I was on auto-pilot, I left them and went into
Sebastian’s room. I rummaged through his clothes crazily, my eyes not really
seeing the contents. All I could see was him kissing her, holding her. I found
some old shorts and a shirt, so I took off my ruined dress and slipped into
them.

Leo barged in the room.

“Can’t you knock, please?” I asked him, turning away and
straightening my shirt.

“Like I haven’t seen you undressed before,” he said,
shutting the door. His eyes roamed over me, his gaze landing on my now scabbed
over elbows. “What the hell happened to you?” he demanded, striding over and
reaching out for my arms.

I came to life, jerking away from him. “Don’t! Just don’t.
If you touch me right now, I think I’ll be sick,” I said.

He visibly winced and stepped back. I wondered where Tiffani
was. Had she left?

I picked up a brush from Sebastian’s dresser and attacked my
hair, not noticing if the braid got out or not. My eyes were open, but my brain
wasn’t processing. I was holding it all back, trying not to feel, trying to not
let him see my anguish. I set the brush down and just stood there looking at
myself in the mirror. Through the mirror, I saw Leo with his back against the
wall, arms crossed, watching me. His body looked drawn up and tight, like he was
barely holding himself in check. His sharp gaze kept trying to capture mine,
but I’d look away. He’d avoided my eyes all night, and now he wanted to have a
stare down? No.

He pushed off the wall and started pacing around the
bedroom. “Listen, I’m sorry you saw that. You didn’t deserve it, especially
after the kiss we had. But you and I . . . you have to understand, we can’t be
together,” he said, stopping and standing behind me.

I checked my teeth in the mirror. I practiced my fake smile.
I practiced it again and again. I counted the seconds down in my head.

“Nora, quit primping and say something.
Anything
,” he
pleaded, coming closer to me. “Don’t ignore me.”

Falling for someone can be a lot like playing roulette. You
don’t know what will happen when you place that bet, but you take a deep breath
anyway and put all the chips out there. And when the ball spins around and
around, you pray it lands on your number. Probability says you’ll likely loose,
and in this game of love with Leo, odds were I would lose, too, but I had to
try.

I was going all in.

I stared at him through the mirror. “Leo, I know it’s
unexplainable because I barely know you, but being with you makes me feel good
inside and
happy
. I’ve never had that. When I see you, I feel like I’m
home. Like we’re pieces of a puzzle that have finally come together. And . . . and
I think being happy isn’t about the big moments, like when you graduate from
college or get that job you’ve been wanting. It’s the small moments that take
your breath away and make you truly happy, like the first time you see your
newborn’s face or . . . or when you meet someone who could be your soulmate.”

“What are you saying?” he whispered in a strained voice,
breathing hard, like he was winded, too.

I turned to face him, trembling. “I shouldn’t have painted
your car. I shouldn’t have stripped for you. And, I shouldn’t have assumed you
wanted me back. No one does. So yeah, maybe I am a mess, but I do know one
thing for certain. I want
more
little happy moments. I’m greedy for
them. I want them over and over . . . and . . . I’m not going to get them from
you am I?”

He paled, giving me his answer.

He was my Prince Charming, but I wasn’t his Cinderella.

He strode over and stood close to me, until we were almost
touching. He cradled my cheek in his hand. Like he fucking cared.

I stepped away and wiped my face where he’d touched it.
“Don’t act like you care when you don’t. Because if you did, you’d never have
kissed me tonight and then turned around and fucked her. Just leave me alone
and stay out of my business. For good.”

He looked dazed, not even listening. “Are you saying we’re
soulmates . . . that you’re
in love
with me?” he asked, his eyes boring
into mine.

I ignored him and gathered up my wet clothes.

“Nora, tell me the truth,” he implored, and I heard anguish
in his voice, and I wondered why it was so important to him.

I nodded. “This is the truth: I’m done with you. I hope she
makes you happy and—” I swallowed. “Goodbye, Leo.”

“She’s
this beautiful chaos.”

–
Leo
Tate

“WAIT,” I WHISPERED, finally finding
my voice, but she didn’t hear me because she’d already left, the click of the
bedroom door sounding final.

I sank down on the bed and gripped the ends of my hair and
pulled hard, trying to yank myself back to the present, because my head was
still reeling from her words about love and soulmates. Did it mean that she
loved me?

She’d never said.

Sebastian stormed into his bedroom, his legs eating up the
ground to where I sat. “What the hell did you do to her?!”

I scrubbed my face with my hands.

“Leo?” he demanded, “Tell me what just happened in here.”

I sat there, feeling unbalanced, like someone had just
turned my world upside down. Had I subconsciously wanted her to see me with
Tiffani? To what lengths would I go to in order to push her away?

He shoved my shoulder with his fingers, like he wanted to
start a fight. “I
knew
you’d do this. I knew you’d piss all over her.”

I stood up. “Watch what you say, Sebastian. You’re angry,
and I get that, but back off,” I warned. “You’ve got no idea what’s going on
between me and Nora.”

“I’ve seen how you look at her,” he said, shaking his head
at me. “You’re the biggest fucking fool I know.”

I heard a noise downstairs and took off for the door. I knew
it wasn’t Tiffani. I’d told her to leave as soon as I realized Nora had seen
us.

“Is she still here?” I asked, not waiting for an answer, but
running down the hallway. I stopped at the top of the staircase. “Nora!” I
called out, but only silence greeted me. Cursing, I took the stairs two at a time
until I was at the front desk. I paced around the foyer. Nothing. I went into
the band room. Nothing. I checked the restrooms. Nothing. I ran outside and
stood on the street, hoping maybe she was still in the parking lot.

“She’s gone,” Sebastian said, following me. “She ran out
before I knew what was going on. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.”

“What happened to her tonight? Was she drinking? ”I asked
hurriedly, remembering her wet clothes and scratched up arms. Visions of her
car wrapped around a tree played through my mind. Shit, I had to find her.

He suddenly looked worried, his brow pulled down. “Yeah,
early in the night she had some shots. Then she got into a fight with a girl.”

“Fuck,” I muttered, feeling the tingle of fear go up my
spine at the thought of her drunk driving. I had to make sure she got home
safe, and if I was honest, I wanted to tell her again how sorry I was. I’d said
I didn’t want to hurt her, but it seemed like that was all I did.

I pulled out my keys out for the Yukon I’d been driving
while my car was in the shop and strode over to it.

Sebastian followed me. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To find Nora. She’s upset, and she’s been drinking,” I
said, opening my car door and sliding in. “People do crazy things when they’re
drunk, Sebastian.”

“You don’t even know where she lives,” he muttered.

“So get in,” I said exasperated. “And tell me where she
lives.”

He got in the car, slamming the door hard. I sat there for a
moment, my hands clenching the steering wheel, because he was upset with me and
it scared me. Did it mean that they were more than just friends?

I cranked the car and pulled out of the parking lot, the
tires squealing.

“Where to?”

“Maple Street in Highland Park,” he said. I typed it into
the GPS, and we headed that way.

After a few minutes, I cleared my throat. Somehow I had to
make him understand where I was coming from with Nora. “Hey, remember two years
ago when we drove up to Bakersville and got caught in that snow storm?”

Sebastian shot me a look, grudgingly responding. “Yeah, I
remember. The news said it was the worst snow storm there in a hundred years.”

I nodded. “The way it came at our windshield . . . it was
like this white tornado, and if you looked at it too long, you got dizzy,” I
said. “And when we woke up the next day, there was ten inches on the ground.
Remember, we had to trudge through the snow to get to a diner across the street
and everywhere we looked, it was like a sea of white. It was so bright we had
to put our sunglasses on.”

I said, “Nora’s like that storm. It’s like she came out of
nowhere and knocked me off course. She makes me wild, like I can’t control
myself. She’s this beautiful chaos, and I
do
want her, but you know I
don’t like commitments. I can’t love someone and then lose them.”

He shook his head. “Sometimes you gotta take a chance and
just go for it, Leo.”

“She saw me and Tiffani,” I said, cringing at the memory.

“Screwing?” he said tightly, shooting me a dirty glance.

“She may as well have,” I said, hating myself.

“She’s not like those phony girls you fuck. She’s my friend,
and she’s good for us. Even Teddy likes her,” he said.

“Are you watching out for her like I asked?” I said,
glancing at him before looking back to the road.

“I’ll always take care of her, asshole. I love her.”

I braked and pulled over to the curb. “What the fuck?” I
said quietly, a quiet rage building in me as adrenaline raced through my veins,
as sickening thoughts of Sebastian and Nora together ran through my mind.
Furious, I clutched the steering wheel so I wouldn’t ram my fist through the
dashboard. So I wouldn’t ram it through his face. And here’s the thing: I had
no
right to feel that way. None. She was not mine. I’d made sure of that
tonight when I lied to her about the first time I’d seen her at the open house.

He grinned, and it wasn’t one of his fun, happy-go-lucky
ones. It was a grin that said
you deserve the shit you are about to hear
.
“Yeah, that’s right. I love her. And you’re a pussy for not acknowledging
you’ve got feelings for her, too.”

I rubbed my jaw and stared into those eyes that looked so
much like mine. I hated the words coming out of his mouth, but isn’t this what
I needed? For Nora to leave me and find some nice guy?

But not Sebastian.

He snorted at my silence. “You don’t deserve her, Leo.”

I ignored him, and with both of us silent, it seemed to take
forever to get to Highland Park. The GPS led me past sprawling mansions and
impeccably maintained park-like yards. Eventually, I turned onto a street that
had two large gothic style columns, I guess marking the beginning of her
neighborhood. I wondered what it would be like to grow up here with whatever
you wanted at your fingertips. Yet it hadn’t done Nora any favors. Then, I
thought about the small house I’d grown up in, the one mom and dad had sweated
to pay for. We’d been a happy family in that house.

“Which one?” I asked, wondering when he’d been there. What
else did I not know about Sebastian and Nora? Had they slept together?

He pointed at a chateau-looking house. I parked at the curb
across from it, hoping the cops didn’t show up.

“Call her,” I told Sebastian, thinking we should have
already tried. He called, but she didn’t answer. He typed out a text, and we
waited, but she didn’t respond.

I leaned my head back against the cool leather of the
headrest and sighed. True, she might already be home, tucked in all safe and
sound, but I
needed
to know for sure, even if it meant staying here all
night.

Sebastian spoke. “You know, mom and dad may have died when I
was young, but I still remember stuff they told me, like the story of when they
met. Do you know the one I mean? At the music festival?”

I nodded, thinking back to how Dad loved to tell us stories.
“Yeah, they were both seventeen and as soon as dad saw mom dancing, he said he
loved her.”

“Exactly,” Sebastian said. “And you know what I remember
most about that story? It was how his face looked when he told it. Like all
soft and shit.”

I glanced at him in surprise because yeah, I remembered how
crazy my parents had been about each other, but I’d never thought Sebastian
would.

He sighed. “And from that day on, they were always together,
like it was meant to be. I hope I find the same thing someday, and I hope you
do.”

I shook my head. “All I need is you, little brother. Nobody
else.”

He nodded. “If that’s really true, and you’re giving up on
love, then leave Nora alone. If you can’t commit, then let someone else have a
shot.”

I couldn’t answer.
Fuck me
, did he mean himself?

An hour later, we watched as Nora’s white Volvo pulled into
the drive of her house. I cranked the car, and we drove home, Sebastian deep in
thought, and me . . . I was miserable.