Veer (Clayton Falls) (14 page)

“Interesting.”

“Not really, but if you say so.”
I curled my feet up under me, trying to get more comfortable.

“Are you okay?”

“Uh huh.”

Jake stood up suddenly.
“Okay, so I need to go do something.”

“
What do you have to do now
?”

“
Don’t worry about it
. I’ll call you later though.”

“Okay.” I tried to hide my disappointment that he was leaving, but he had his own life.

When he left
,
I tried not to dwell on Gavin or the scholarship.
I could take out loans
, but
just like
Gavin
,
losing my scholarship
reminded me of how much of a failure I’d become.
If there
had been
one constant in my life, it wa
s that I could handle academics,
and now I couldn’t even do that.

Chapter
Fourteen

Gavin

If I
’d
had any doubt before, by Saturday I knew for sure
that I’d made a huge mistake
. One night with
Becca
and the damage was already done. How much worse could it have been if I’d let it become something more
, assuming
she was even interested in that
?
But it’s not like it was
a
one night stand or forever
. W
e could have tried.

I agreed to go to Tom’s barbeque in hope
s
of seeing Becca. If I could just talk to her, I could gauge how she fe
lt
about things.

I rang the doorbell, but Kelly yelled for me to come in. I walked into the kitchen and found Molly and Kelly deep
in
conversation. “I’m telling you something’s up with her. I just don’t know what it is.”

“Are you sure this isn’t about her mom? It’s only been a few months
,
right? You were pretty messed up about your dad
.”
Kelly pull
ed
some beer out of the fridge.

They had to have been talking about Becca.

Molly glanced over at me before lowering her voice slightly. “I think it’
s more. Becca’s a glass
half full kind of girl. She takes everything in stride. I always envied her that ability.”

“What was her excuse this time?”

“
She didn’t give one. She just texted me to say she wasn’t up for it and to tell you sorry.” Molly looked back over at me. “What are you still doing in here? The guys are outside.”

“Okay…” I reluctantly
turned to leave
.
I wanted to kno
w what was going on with Becca, but I didn’t feel like crossing those
two
.

“Here
,
take these with you.” Kelly shoved
a bowl of chips at me
and handed me a beer
.

I joined Tom and Ben outside,
placing the bowl on a table
.

“Hey
,
man
.
W
e were wondering when you’d get here.”

“So, is it just us then?” I spent
way too much of my time with tho
se two couples.

“Yeah. We invited Becca, but she isn’t coming.”

“Other plans?” I fished
for information.

Ben put his hands in his pockets.
“Who knows
?
She’s got Molly all bent out of shape. You know how Molly is, blaming herself for everything.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe she met someone.” Tom smirked. “She could be holed up with him right now. Has
n
’
t
she been spending a lot of time with your brother, Ben?”

I tensed. There was no way Becca was with Jake.

Ben leaned over to grab a chip.
“You don’t think Molly’s
already grilled him? He swears they’re
just friends.”

Tom moved on to his next suspect.
“She went out with Ronny last week, but he’s out of town for the weekend.”

I said nothing. There was no reason to bring it up. I’d told her we should keep it between us
,
and I’d meant it.
Word
would have spread like wildfire.

“There you are, you fucking prick!” The screen door banged shut as Jake stomped toward us. I saw it coming from a mile
away
, but it
still
surprised me so much I was almost too slow to block his punch.
Almost. I caught his fist with my hand.

“What the hell
,
man?” Ben grabbed his brother before he could stupidly try again.

“You’re going to pay. How could you have treated her like that? Do you
even realize how
amazing she is
?
I can’t believe she was stupid enough to pick you, but she did—and you treat
ed
her like a cheap fuck?”

“What the hell?” Tom looked
back and forth
between us.

I ignored Tom and turned my attention to Jake. “She told you?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you swore her to silence. What
,
afraid of hurting your reputation as a saint
? B
ullshit. Yes
,
she told me
. S
omeone had to figure out what was going on with her.”

“What are you talking about
,
Jake? Did Becca and Gavin sleep together?” Molly came over. This was just getting worse.

“Yes. And this winner decided to tell her it was a mistake and that they should forget it ever happened.”
Jake stood with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

Molly marched up to me, shoving
my chest
. “You slept with Becca?”

“Yes. It wasn’t a big deal. We got drunk
,
and it happened.”

“You got drunk
,
and it happened
?
It wasn’t a big deal
?
Because that’s how every girl wants
her
first time to be. I can’t even look at you.” She stormed off with Kelly right behind her.

“Her first time?” I slunk down into a chair. “She was a virgin?” I put my head in my hands. Wouldn’t I have known that?

“
Such a waste. Such a
f
ucking
waste, but for some reason
,
she picked you.” Jake still hovered.

“Are you sure she was a virgin?”
Shit
, I’d screwed up.

“Whoa
,
man
.
Y
ou really dug yourself a hole.”
Tom shook his head.

“Is she okay? Am I the reason everyone’s worried about
her
?”

Jake put his head in his hands for a moment before giving me a deadly stare.
“What the hell, I’ve already made her info public. Yes. She’s convinced she did something wrong
. S
he actually asked me if a girl could be bad in bed. How could you have let a girl feel that way?”

“She asked you that? She was amazing—she’s amazing.”

“Then why’d you tell her it was a mistake?
”
Jake finally
backed
off a little.

“I figured she felt that way.”

“And even if she did, what would possess you to tell her that?” Ben asked.

“What was I supposed to say,
‘
thanks for the fuck
’
?”

“Unbelievable.” Tom shook his head
again
. “Unbelievable.”

“What?”

“You have great sex—” Tom started to say.

“Nope, amazing sex. He said amazing,” Jake but
ted
in.

“Okay, amazing sex, with a gorgeous girl
,
and you didn’t know what to say to her the next morning? Are you really that much of a loser?”
Tom
wrung his hands
in
disbelief
.

“
What’s done is done. Now
,
how do I fix it?”

“Fix it?” Jake asked incredulous
ly
. “You mean how
do you apologize?”

“How do I get another
chance?
”

Tom laughed. “Man, you
’
r
e
dreaming.”

“What? We had something. I just didn’t realize it at the time. I
need to ta
l
k
to her
about it.”

“I’m still not buying your excuse,” Jake added.

“What do you mean?”

“If you like her, why did you tell her to forget about it? Not knowing what to say doesn’t cover it.”

“I told you
.
I figured that’s what she wanted to hear.” I wasn’t about to admit to the guys
that
I was protecting myself. I was so sick of bei
ng the loser who the girls left
behind.

“It’s about Dawn, just admit it,” Tom challenged.

“Who the hell is Dawn?” Jake asked.

“Shut up, Tom.”

“No, I’m right. This is about the fact that you are still hung up on your girlfriend dumping you.
It’s been three years. I think that’s
enough time to grow a pair.”

“Don’t go there
,
Tom.”

Jake glared at me.
“All right
.
I don’t give a damn who Dawn is, but you
’d
better fix things with Becca. She belongs in this town
,
and I’m not letting you run her off.”

“I know I have to fix it, but she’s only here for the summer
. D
on’t make this what it isn’t.”

“Bull
shit. You think she wouldn’t come back if there was a reason? She has nine months of school left and then nothing planned. She has no family in Boston and no job. Her best friend lives
here—why wouldn’t she come back?
”

Ben chuckled. “I think hell may have frozen over. Jake is actually trying to help someone other than himself.”

Jake
turned to
his brother.
“I’m trying to help
Becca. She’s cool, and I want her around.”

“Yeah, exactly. You want a girl around and it’s not because you want to sleep with her
. Impressive
.”

Jake punched Ben’s arm.
“
Shut up
.”

“Okay, can you stop long enough to help me figure this out
?”
Discussing my screw up or how
cool Becca was wasn’t going to
help me win her back.

“You’ve got to try to talk to her.”

“I know. I’m going to go now.”

“I’d wait a little.” Kelly
joined us
. “Molly just went over to talk to her.”

“I hope that goes well…” Ben looked worried.

Kelly broke off the flip top from her Coke.
“Yeah, she’s pretty
hurt
.”

“Why’s Molly
hurt
?” I asked.

“Because
Becca didn’t tell her about
what happened
. Girls are supposed to tell their
best friends that kind of stuff,
”
Kelly explained.

Jake brushed it off. “Oh, that’s bull. It’s obvious why she told me.”

“Care to enlighten us?” Ben asked with a smile.

“Because she cares what Molly thinks, but not what I think. She
thinks she
messed up and didn’t want anyone whose opinion mattered judging her. She may have only known me a week or so, but she knows nothing she can do is worse than what I’ve done.”

“That’s all very nice, but I’m going over there. I need to talk to her. I can’t let her think I actually meant anything
by
what I said.”