Veer (Clayton Falls) (12 page)

He chuckled
. “Y
ou’re not in such bad shape yourself.
”
I felt his hand on my leg
and realized belatedly that my skirt was riding up. This would usually have been the point where I would have moved the guy
’
s hand and excused myself, but I didn’t want to.

“You know
,
I had a dream about you last night.” Alcohol made me honest
. V
ery, very honest.

“A good dream?”
H
is hand mov
ed
further up my leg.

“A really, really good dream.”

“That’s a coincidence
.
I had the same kind about you last night. But then again, I’ve been having them all week.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh.” His lids were getting heavy
.
I knew if I wanted to bolt
,
I was going to have to act fast. I didn’t move.

“That’s nice.”

“Nice?
Is that all it is?
”

“Great, exciting, wonderful…”

“Perfect.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine.

When he pulled away slightly
,
I felt his absence. “Yeah, perfect.”

His lips returned, moving against mine
slowly
at first before getting more aggressive
. H
is tongue
pushed
its way into
my mouth. His arms wrapped around me, and I let him lead me onto his lap. We broke the kiss only long enough for him to hike my skirt up more so I could straddle him.

One of his hands moved under my shirt, slipping under my bra to cradle a breast. I moaned, enjoying the feeling of being touched. I reached a hand down to slip under his shirt. I needed to feel his skin.
He pulled back from the kiss
,
and I looked down at him.

He didn’t say anything. He pull
ed
off his t-shirt, tossing it to the floor. Next
,
he moved his attention to my shirt, pulling
it
off slowly, before throwing it to join his. His hand went around to unclasp my bra
. H
is eyes
watched
for my reaction. I nodded, letting him know I was all in
,
as though my place on his lap didn’t already say it all.

He undid my bra, letting it fall onto the couch next to us. His hands returned
. H
is lips
lingered
on my earlobe and slowing
moved
down to my neck and lower.
He ran a finger over the faded scars right above my right breast
,
and I prayed he wouldn’t ask about them. Nothing would kill my mood faster.

He didn’t.
“God, I want you, Becca,
” he said breathlessly, removing his lips for just a moment before returning them to their path. I loved the way my name sounded
when he said it
.

“I want you too.”

I groaned in protest when his lips left again, but I stopped worrying once he picked me up. I wound my arms around his neck and let him
take me into his bedroom. He laid
me
gently
down on his bed, sliding my skirt down over my hips and out of the way. I watched as he
took off his
shorts. I looked away long enough to notice the floor to ceiling
windows
he’d mentioned earlier. It was too dark to see the ocean
, but the moon gave the room a
silvery
glow.

“You are so gorgeous.” He
lay
down next to me, running a hand down my stomach, stopping right at my panties. He kept his hand there for a second, before removing them. I tugged off his boxers, amazed that I was actually lying naked on a man’s bed. For all the times I’d thought about getting this far, I hadn’t ever really imagine
d
it happening. I hoped he wouldn’t figure out how inexperienced I was.

I closed my eyes as his hands and lips found me again, giving myself over to him completely, wanting to
feel his closeness, and loving his whispered words
.
I let my hands explore as well, loving every plan
e
I
touched
. H
e was so muscular, so solid, so str
ong. I knew I was safe with him
.

He moved away, and I realized he was getting his wallet. He pulled out a condom, looking
down at me to make sure I was ready
.
I nodded, unable to form the words. I expected pain, I expected fear to take over, but I didn’t feel either of those things—instead I felt pleasure—I felt alive—I felt complete.

***

My head pounded, and I groaned. I
promise
d
myself I’d never drink
that much a
gain. It took a few minutes for
the events of the night before to reach me. I felt Gavin stir behind me, and I closed my eyes, trying to get the courage to roll over. As hung over as I was, I didn’t regret sleeping with him.

“Good morning
.” H
e
spoke
softly, likely hearing my irregular breathing and realizing I was awake.

I took a deep breath and rolled toward him. “Good morning.”

I expected a smiling face to be waiting for me, but instead I found
a frown
. “So, um
…
yeah
,
about last night.”

“I guess we were pretty drunk.” I tried to smile.

“Yeah,
very drunk.”

I waited for more. There had to be more.

“So, I think we can both agree it was a mistake, and
I’m sorry I let it happen.”

I felt like someone had dropped a
Mack
truck on me. The headache from earlier was nothing.
A mistake? I was a mistake?
“Oh. Yeah.”

“I think the best thing to do would be to forget it ever happened, just keep it between us.”
His voice sounded strained.

“Yeah,
good idea
.”

I felt the tears sting
the corners of my eyes. I rolled over and pulled the sheet around me, yanking it off the bed so I could pick up my skirt and panties from his bedroom floor and my top and bra from his den. I didn’t bother to turn around to see how he reacted. The last thing I wanted to see was his face. It was probably smug—or worse
,
full of that regret he’d been talking about.

I stumbled into my clothes, not using the bathroom even though I had to go.

I heard him moving around his room and didn’t wait for him to come out. I opened the door, letting it slam behind me before running back to where I left Molly’s car in the public lot at the beach. There was a ticket on the windshield—perfect. Didn’t it count for anything that I left it there because I was
having
sex with one of their officers?

As
soon as I closed the car door
,
the tears spilled out. I had to sit a moment before pulling out back toward the Mathews
’
s
house. I really hoped I wouldn’t run into anyone.

Safely inside the pool house, I slunk to the floor just inside the door. How could I have been so stupid? Why would Gavin be any different from other guys? Why did I expect more from an
alcohol-
fueled hook up? I had been sure there
was
a connection, but it was one sided—and now I felt like the idiot I was. And why did he want to keep it a secret? Was he embarrassed? Was I that bad?
I could have sworn
he’d enjoyed it
,
but how would I have even known
?

I stripped off my clothes, fighting the urge to throw them in the trash instead of my hamper. I took a scalding hot shower, trying to wash away any evidence of Gavin from my skin. I’d have to find a way to avoid him for the rest of the summer. It was only a few months.

I heard my phone ring as I wrapped myself up in a plush towel. I ignored it. Whoever it was, I didn’t want to talk.

By the time I
got dressed
,
I knew I’d have to cancel my lunch plans with Molly. There was no way I was facing her. There was no way I was facing anyone
.
I didn’t even want to face myself.

Chapter Twelve

Gavin

I flinched when
the door slam
med
closed
. I
’d
just let the most gorgeous and incredible woman I’d
ever been with walk out my door, but I had no choice
. For once
,
I wasn’t going to be the loser who came on too strong and read
too much
into something
.
I’d give her what she wanted
:
a one night fling.

She hadn’t even said goodbye. I think that’s the part that got me. I threw on some boxers and walked into the living room as soon as I heard her leave. The sheet from my bed was in a ball on the couch. Just looking at that damn sheet reminded me of the night we’d shared. I needed to stop thinking about it, about her
.
W
hat was done was done. Hopefully
,
I’d be able to steer clear of her until she left in August.

After a horrible weekend, I returned to work on Monday. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get Becca out of my head. I’d done the impossible and worn Max out on Saturday running him too hard. I didn’t know what else to do. I kept replaying it all. Starting with running into her, our conversation, the most unbelievable sex I’d ever had, and the way I’d treated her the nex
t morning. I needed to remember
that I’d protected myself,
and she
was probably relieved.

Tom called me out on
my miserable mood
when we stopped for lunch. “What the hell’s up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Sure. I’m not buying it. You’ve been as moody as a little girl lately. You seriously need to get some.”

I
c
hok
ed
on my Coke. “That’s not my problem.”

“Sure it isn’t.” He smiled wickedly. He loved giving me a hard time about my pathetic dating life, but he was married
. H
e didn’t get it.

“Just let it go.”

“Why? Something is obviously up with you.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
I knew Tom well enough to know it wasn’t worth the effort of arguing. He’d pull it out of me eventually.

“Not a chance.” Tom grinned, stretching out his arms on the booth behind him.

“I need a change.”
T
hat
might have been
the biggest understatement of the century
.
I needed a lot more than that.

“A change?”

“Yes. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“Anything in particular you can’t take?” Tom eyed me skeptically, like he was trying to figure out if I was being serious or not.

“The thought of spending my life as a cop in this town.”
Talking to Becca about it had just forced me to admit what I’d been thinking for mo
nths
:
how pathetic my existence had become
. There’s only so much of pulling people
over
and stepping in on property disputes that a man can take.

Tom
straightened. “And
you’re
suddenly questioning your career path because…”

“I get it’s different for you. You like this place—no
,
you love it. Your family’s here, your wife. I get it. But it’s different for me. This was just supposed to be a stop while I figured things out. It’s been three years.”
Without meaning to, I’d raised my voice.

“And you think the job’s the problem? It’s not the job. You just need to meet someone.”

“You say it like there’s a thousand girls to choose from. We live in
a
town the size of a
cereal
box. And don’t start in on how you found Kelly. It’s different—you both grew up here.”

“It’s not
going to happen if you don’t give anyone a chance. When’s the last date you were on?”
He shoved a few
f
ries in
to
his mouth.